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Saturday, June 23, 2012

Toddler Tricks - 97: Keep Calm and Carry On


You can't do anything right. Any answer you give, any move you make, any word you say is grounds for a tantrum. Your kids are completely unreasonable for some reason you can't discern. Whether they can't make a circle on their Magnadoodles, or their stuffed animals aren't speaking correctly, or you were supposed to laugh at something and you missed your cue, it doesn't matter. Your children are steering this insanity boat and you feel yourself drowning in its tow.


Keep calm. Their world is not the real world. Their emphasis is not the real emphasis. Remember, it's not all that important whether they're wearing blue socks or pink socks. It is not a big deal. But when you are surrounded by three year olds, suddenly their hang ups and issues and severe lack of prioritization make perfect sense. We should all yell and carry on over who has more juice in her cup. The girls about that, then about how they hit one another, and you about how they should just be quiet and grateful for once.

It's works much better if you don't let them affect you. Remember, these things are stupid. Sorry, kids, but it's true. Your problems are dumb, and I invalidate them. You have no power over my frame of mind with your "she has the green marker" and your "I can't lift my shoe, it's too heavy."

I have learned to laugh you off. It's the only way we will all survive.

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