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Thursday, January 16, 2020

How to Tell if Your Teen is Struggling

As any parent with a teenager knows, it isn’t easy. Teenagers have a lot to deal with, and their rapidly changing hormones don’t make it any easier for them. However, while some troubles are expected with teens, sometimes these issues grow too large and your teen will start to struggle. If this happens, it could result in destructive behavior or poor performance at school. The best thing you can do is look for some signs that your teen is struggling, especially when they won’t tell you directly. Here are a few signs to look for:
They Keep to Themselves
While many teenagers want to be left alone, teens keeping to themselves more often than they used to could be a sign of an internal struggle. Teens, just like everyone else, don’t want to let others see them having a hard time. The result is that they will keep to themselves and hide their struggles away from the world. If they want to spend a little less time with their parents, this is normal. But if they are avoiding family functions altogether, and especially if they are avoiding their friends as well, it could be a sign that they are having some issues.
They Lash Out
Some teens won’t internalize their problems and instead will start to lash out. Internal struggles can make us angry or cranky, and teens tend to feel these emotions even more strongly. Most parents won’t get away without ever arguing with their teenager, but if the outbursts start to become more frequent than they once were, your kid may have something going on in their life. The lashing out could take the form of arguing, yelling, or simply misbehaving. Keep track of your child’s behavior and see how it has changed over time.
They Seem Stressed
Sometimes it’s just obvious when someone is stressed. They become irritable or they spend all their time working. Life as a teenager isn’t easy and sometimes the amount of work they have to do can become overwhelming. If you find your teenager in front of their textbooks all the time, they are likely dealing with some stress. We have all had to deal with stress at some point or another, so think about how stress impacts you personally, then start to look for these same signs in your teenager.
How You Can Help Your Struggling Teen
If you think your teenager is struggling with something, there are a few things you can do. First, you should try talking to your teen. They may not want to talk, but reminding them that you are there for them can go a long way. If they don’t want to talk, don’t pressure them too much. Instead, just remind them that you are available and try to find subtle ways to coax it out of them.
For teenagers dealing with more serious mental health issues, you should consider getting them professional assistance. Teen depression treatment is a good thing to look into, as is simply speaking to a therapist. Sometimes your child won’t want to talk to you about their problems, but they would be willing to talk to someone neutral. This is a good way to get your teenager the help they need without invading their space.
If your child is dealing with a lot of stress from school, try to find some simple ways to help them out. You could help them complete some of their projects, study for a test, organize their notes or even talk to their teachers if need be. You don’t want to do all the work for them (that would defeat the point), but that doesn’t mean there aren’t ways you can help lessen the load a little bit. Also, remind them to step away from their work from time to time and do something they enjoy, otherwise, the stress will just make the work even harder.
All teens will go through some issues, it’s a part of growing up. Your job as a parent is to make sure the struggles don’t get too much to bear, and that your child knows you are there for support if they need you. Be on the lookout for signs that your teen is struggling more than usual, and if you spot any of them, take some action to help them out. When problems are ignored or unattended to they can snowball into something worse, so do your best to spot signs of a struggle as early as you can and get your child the help they need.

Thursday, January 2, 2020

Resolutions - 2020

I'm at the point where my resolutions each year are the same because I just want to keep doing what I am doing and do it better.  That's a good place to be.

10) Drink 6 glasses of water a day.

This was 4 for a couple of years, and last year I did it, but I'm still chronically dehydrated, so I am upping it to 6 to see if that helps.

9) Exercise consistently 5 times a week.

Again, this had been 3-4 times a week, and I managed it, so let's kick it up a notch.

8) Get my nails nice

Last year I finally managed to stop biting them, now I want them strong and healthy.

7) Contribute to election integrity in ways that are tangible and meaningful before the election.

6) Fix three things about the house

I'll keep this one, and the chimney doesn't count because I organized that this year.

5) Make $100,000 and/or get a full-time position somewhere.

I don't think this can be done. I think I hit my max in 2019.

4) Publish 30 pieces

I'd like to do a lot more than this but I doubt it's possible.

3) Go somewhere overseas.

2) Meditate for 30 minutes a week and see one friend a week.

I don't care I break this time up, but I have to find a way to enjoy my own company when I'm not "being productive." And I have to find time to cultivate my relationships outside of a work environment.

1) Read 12 books.

Let's see if I can do it this year.

For my kids and I, I resolve the following:

5) Help them navigate tween-teen years, be someone they can trust and love.

4) Read to them every night.

3) Save $10,000 more each for them.

2) Do something with them every day.

1) Have them do chores every day.

Wednesday, January 1, 2020

Resolution Check-in 2019

Every year, I make 10 resolutions for myself and 5 concerning my kids. Then I don't look at them again until the next year when I see how I did. Usually I manage to keep 4 to 6 of them. Let's see.

10) Drink 4 glasses of water a day.

Did it. I found that drinking an entire glass of water at a time without even putting the glass down to breathe was the only way I could do this. I can't have something around to just sip, it will never get drunk. But I can force myself to drink four times a day. 1 point

9) Go to the gym and/or run consistently 3-4 times a week.

Did it. There were times when I fell short, but other times when I worked out every day each week. I even decided to train to be a body combat instructor, which will hopefully happen this year. 1 point.

8) Stop biting my nails

I did this, which is very weird. But I'm only giving myself half credit because my nails are shit and break as soon as they grow so they still look very short, though neater. .5

7) Do something at least once a week to help those in need, or resist politically

Half credit. I did not do something once a week, but I did do things. I hope that I can step this up, especially since it's 2020 which is a big year. .5
6) Fix three things about the house

I'll give myself this, although the things fixed were small. Carlos fixed the toilets, I redid the grout, and we have people coming next week to fix our chimney and reside wood rot. I count that because I scheduled it last year. 1 point

5) Make $90,000 and/or get a full-time position somewhere.

Last year, I said this was a huge stretch. I made $94K. 1 point

4) Publish 50 pieces and teach a full course load all year.

Half credit. I taught a double-full load, but I only published 25 pieces. So, twice and half. .5

3) Get my passport and Portuguese citizenship (if not for me, at least for the girls).

Half credit. We finally got our passports. I didn't even look into Portuguese citizenship though. That seems hard. .5

2) Start a vegetable garden and keep it alive.

0. Nope

1) Read 12 books.

I literally read 2.5 books. Fail. 0

6 out of 10. Pretty strong showing.

For my kids and I, I resolve the following:

5) Get them to stop fighting all the time.

.5 They fight...less.

4) Sign them up for separate activities they might enjoy.

1. One is doing basketball, the other did gymnastics and now cheer.

3) Save $10,000 more each for them.

.5 Almost. I managed $8,100 each.

2) Spend at least 10 minutes with them, doing something they want to do every day.

0. I spent time with them every day, but not necessarily doing things they want to do.

1) Have them do chores every day.

0. I did not even attempt this, even though I should.

2 out of 5, not so great. Will work harder to do better this year.


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