I rode my bike into the CVS

Prologue: 

A few weeks ago, I switched OBGyns and went to my new dude. He wrote me a prescription for birth control because I take hormonal birth control in pill form because I'm a woman who doesn't want any more children and who doesn't want an IUD and this is how society solves that problem.

Anyway.

A couple days later, I get a call from my pharmacy. A life-saving call.

"Hi, we noticed your doctor prescribed Ortho tri cyclen lo for you. Is that correct?"

... ... ...

"Oh my GOD, NO. Change it, CHANGE IT. That is how I got twins the last time. They switched me to lo."

They laugh. Everyone loves the twin joke that is actually not a joke at all but truth-to-life facts what happened for real.

We hang up.

I live my life. I had two weeks left before EMERGENCY FILL YOUR PRESCRIPTION time, which is when I like to fill it. I'm deadline oriented, guys, okay?


Present Day:

Okay, so today it was definitely EMERGENCY FILL YOUR PRESCRIPTION time. I called the pharmacy to make sure they still have my order.

They've never heard of the prescription. No record of it. No idea what I was talking about at all. Even though they called me about it literally two weeks ago.

I called the doctor's office. I got a great woman on the other end of the line who was incensed for me even though I wasn't even mad yet.

"We FILLED that through ESCRIPT on APRIL 26th at TWELVE FIFTY NINE PEE EM" she half shouted at me. "YOU TELL THEM THAT."

I called the pharmacy back. I told them. I really did!

They still had never heard of this. Couldn't find it in their system. I told them about the previous mistake, low to regular, and they checked their mistake order files. Nothing.

I call the doctor's back. I get the same woman. She has the people who resend orders resend the order.

By this time, I'd wasted nearly an hour going back and forth and explaining my situation to each new person and the twin not-a-joke joke was getting really old to me.

I decided to kill two birds with one stone and cycle to the pharmacy which is three miles away. I threw my credit card in my pocket and put my phone in the holder with Runkeeper on cycle mode.

I had forgotten one thing. The bike belongs to my husband and it's one of those new-fangled electric bikes. I didn't have a bike lock, and I'd have just left it if it was mine, but it was not mine. And if it got stolen, I would not only not have a way home other than walking (and the girls would be getting out of school soon), but I'd have to explain to my husband that I rode his bike to the pharmacy and left it outside while I argued with the pharmacist tech for an hour and let it get stolen. No thanks.

So, what was I going to do?

I decided to try to go through the drive thru pharmacy window. But I wasn't sure about it. Can a bicycle go through the drive thru? I didn't think it could. But then again, why not? I was on wheels. Wasn't that the requirement? I didn't know, but I got in line behind a very old woman who took about 20 minutes to fill her scrip and sign.

Finally, I walk my bike up.

"I'm sorry ma'am but for your own safety, you have to be in a vehicle to use this lane."

Now, I have dealt with this tech before, and he's nice and I like him, and I wasn't mad that I couldn't use the drive thru because, honestly, I was pretty sure I couldn't use the drive thru. I was pretty irritated that he'd let me chill behind that lady for 20 minutes without giving me a heads up. I mean, for my own safety is fine, except what about my safety for the 20 minutes I was sitting between that pristine 1975 Lincoln and the Dodge Ram just behind me. Plus, I was back to my problem of not being able to leave the bike.

"I'll have to ride the bike in!"

The dude didn't make as if to stop me, so I rode my bike in. I probably should have walked it in, but, like I said, I was pretty irritated.

You would hope it would be all badass, like you cruise in gracefully, stop right at the right desk and order your refill, but, alas, I live in real life, and I maybe almost fell, and definitely somehow upended the pile of hand baskets for people who get a billion things in the pharmacy and then pay for them with coupons and change. After that, I threw down the kickstand and asked the same guy who had just seen me at the window for my birth control now that we were both inside.

And

The pharmacy still had no record of this prescription. I talked to the pharmacist tech. It was noon, so the pharmacist was on lunch break. Which meant no answers were coming.

But then

I remembered I had my phone, a phone that actually makes calls when it's not being used as a fitness tracker. I called the doctor's again, had the woman repeat the scrip to me, then I put her on my phone with the pharmacist tech who was really doing a phenomenal job putting up with my shit. He really is a perfectly sweet guy. Hell, maybe he even was concerned with my safety, I don't know.

He listened to them, and I heard him repeat, Low in the bc name. I mouthed NOOOOOOOO at the cool tech, and he thumbs-upped me. He knew what was going on.

He hung up the phone and said, "hey, I remember this now. You're the woman who had twins on Low, and we called them to have them change the prescription, but they never did."

So, he straightened it all out and they're going to text me when it's ready, hopefully before Sunday, and, bonus, there were apparently some unfilled mail-order birth control pills and the tech said he could get those for me too.

"I don't think I can get them before Sunday though," he said.

"I don't mind that, I just need the one before Sunday. I want the rest just as soon as we can get it, since Trump is our president, and who knows how long we'll have access to this stuff."

He laughed.

And now I have a new joke that is actually not a joke at all but truth-to-life facts what happened for real.


FIN.

Ten Activities That Can Increase Your Kid's Creativity -- Guest Post

Rev Up Your Kid's Creativity with Unique Activities!

When it's time to focus your kids' attention away from video games and texting, parents often struggle with how to interest kids in creative activities. To rev up your kid's creativity, begin by considering your kid's age level, general interests and attention span.

It's important to choose activities that meet with your kid's attention span. For example, the attention span of today’s five year old kids has a duration of about then minutes.

For older children, ages ten to fifteen, they may be able to concentrate for up to one hour without losing interest in the activities you provide. Keep in mind that each kid has a diverse sense of whimsy and fantasy that is all a part of their creative thinking.

1. Making Music is Fun and Creative

For the first activity, parents may want to invest in ear plugs and several musical instruments like tambourines, maracas, castanets, ukuleles and small tambor drums. There is a wealth of creativity to be found for kids who have the chance to "make music." These basic musical instruments help children develop a sense of sound, rhythm and ability to create music that requires "teamwork."

2. After a wild session with musical instruments, parents may want to reverse the frenetic pace by allowing kids to dance to classical music in free form. If parents prefer, they can also teach their kids classic ballroom dance steps. The idea is to allow kids to "feel the music" and to create adaptive movement that is uniquely theirs.

3. There's another creative and fun activity kids will love: creating rhyming words. Parents can give their kid a small picture of a cat or dog, and make a game of finding as many words that rhyme with these words. Older children can write them down. To make it more of a contest, offer a prize to the kid who rhymed the most words.

4. Nothing is more creative or fun than a scavenger hunt. Kids' creative juices spike when parents create a list with five items kids should hunt for. The hunt can be done at home, in a library, museum, outdoors in a park with supervision or in their own room or even their toy box. It's a great way to get children to creatively organize their possessions so they can be found at a future date.

5. Creating a Recipe

Few kids understand how to follow recipes. By allowing kids to create a recipe of their very own, they can see the connections between certain ingredients, preparation, cooking or baking time and serving food to others. For this, parents can use a list of basic ingredients like cookie crumbs blended with cream cheese to make truffles. Provide cocoa or powdered sugar and cookie decorations they can roll the truffles in.

6. Organizing Kids Money

Kids today don't often get a chance to use cold hard cash. It may be a creative learning curve to teach them how to count back change from a dollar or make a game of having them purchase items from your pantry with a specified amount of "play" money.

7. Activities for Autonomy

As kids become more independent, parents need to reinforce the idea of responsibility. Provide activities kids can do without assistance that fits into a general plan.

For example, allow kids input for the next family outing, such as organizing an itinerary for sightseeing and preparing the things for family outings. Older kids can research sights they feel all members of their family want to see. By allowing kids to create a sightseeing itinerary, they develop a sense of timing and also a keen sense of awareness of their family's likes and dislikes.

8. Hands On Creative Activities

Make a game of teaching very young children how to tie their laces. Older children should be exposed to learning how to sew buttons or put labels on their clothing. These are valuable skills they can develop for use in a variety of arts and crafts.

9. Speaking of Arts and Crafts

While kids' fingers grow ever more adept at texting, their fingers need a more creative outlet like crafting their own scrapbooks or learning the creative art of sculpting. Sculpting for kids can begin with ordinary clay or kids’ putty. Provide an idea of a form from a picture or other source and then let their creative juices flow.

10. Who Am I?

There is an artist in every kid. Too often, their art is limited to living room walls. Create a structured format for their "artwork" by allowing them to create free form drawings of themselves on large poster board paper. The result of their self-imagery might be fascinating.

Conclusion

Every kid has a creative urge that needs to be set free. When kids are working hands on instead of allowing hi tech devices to do it all for them, they realize their true inner sense of creativity.

Resolutions 2017

In keeping with tradition, I will make 10 resolutions for myself and 5 with regard to my children and never look at them again until nearly 2018. Here goes nothing.

10) Drink 5 glasses of water a day.

Upping it from 4 even though I've really stopped drinking at all again. This is important. I do this weird thing where I withhold water from myself if I'm feeling like I'm not worthy of it. I need to fight that mentality more than I need the water, but drinking the water will fight that mentality.

9) Go to the gym and/or run consistently 3-4 times a week.

Exercising every day is too big of a goal for me, especially because my brain tells me that doing ten push ups at home most certainly doesn't count, so I don't do it. I also gained about 10 pounds this year because I couldn't exercise because of a neck injury, and I eat like a garbage can, for real.

8) Stop biting my nails

This is like the 4930276849 time I'll be trying this one.

7) Do something actionable and politically motivated every single week.

During 2017, fervor about the state of our country will die down and normalize. You can already see it happening as the activists collectively take a break and a breath for the holiday season. The point is to get back on the horse. To not forget. To prepare for the vote in 2018. That is the goal. 2018 is not long away when you consider that we have to get an entire new system going for the Democrats and figure our shit out while fighting the legislation coming down from this administration tooth and nail.

6) Read 15 books. Journal 250 times.

I managed 11 this year, but the one I'm on now, I've been on since August. When I don't like a book, I draggggg it out. Journaling, too, comes in waves.

5) Make $55,000-$60,000.

This is a stretch for sure. I'd be happy with $50,000.

4) Publish 100 pieces.

I am flagging in terms of writing. I have the assignments, I'm just sitting on them. I have to get back into the groove and do this thing. This will be harder because it appears my best client (after a shift in personnel) may not be using my services as much as they were if at all.

3) Teach at least six classes this year.

I have to not allow my teaching to drop off as I try to increase my writing. I must maintain connections with different colleges and departments at UF and look to other places as well.

2) Publish my thesis.

I've been putting this off and the embargo is up. I really don't want to do this, but I really, really should.

1) Save another $5,000 for each of my kids for their college education.

If my income stays where it is, I can do this. Of course, freelancing is forever a rocky road full of hustle.



For my kids and I, I resolve the following:

5) Get them to stop fighting all the time.

Like, they are stubborn with this. They love to fight with each other and try to get each other in trouble, as if one is vindicated and good if the other one is getting punished. Stop it.

4) Make them do math and reading every day for at least a short while.

When we do this, it's great, but when we have all the time in the world (ie: vacation), we slack off because it's just easier for me not to make them do it. If I were consistent, it would be easier.

3) Get them into an activity other than Capoeira to expand their horizons a bit.

2) Play a game with them every day.

I can do better with this. I can try harder. It's just five minutes.

1) Have them do chores every day.

I slacked with this because it's just easier for me to do them, but the girls get really entitled about it and don't help at all and give attitude when asked to help if I let it go too long.

We exist in a narrative of failure

When you became a parent, everything was so hard. You stopped knowing how to live. Without a day job to structure your hours, you got lost between day and night, between baby breakfast and snack. You forgot what the shower looked like. You measured your self-worth by how much or little you smelled on any given day. You looked at the kids, and at least they were there. Alive. Good. Perhaps not because of you. But probably. I mean, they were just babies. It was up to you, right?

Eventually, you forced yourself to make your own structure. You got together some to-do lists, you made some long-term goals, and you used social media to help you find friends--other mothers who were new at this thing, other women who were struggling.

They never knew you were actual garbage.

You had enough of a talent for writing that you were relatable. You never worried about showing them your failures because you were funny about it, and you didn't mind looking bad if it made other people feel better about themselves. You kept hacking away at your lists and your writing, and, for a while, you felt pretty good about this. You felt like you were making a difference to people. People seemed to be trying because you were fighting there along with them, there to support them and laugh with them, there to share your triumphs and failures. For a while, you felt like the face of a certain type of parenthood, and you were okay with that. Parenting is a wonderful thing to bond over because it is essentially outside of yourself. It is a foreign body to nearly everybody. As close as it is to you, it is never quite who you are. That makes it somehow safe. It gives your life an outside focus. It is something you do, not something you are. But it is ALSO something you are, and so the validation and friendship you receive as a result of it is natural and complex. You can talk about it as an it while also integrating it as a you. It's easy to write about, to pull funny snippets and anecdotes into a broader context that all parents can relate to. You knew always that you were a very small fish, and you constantly checked yourself, lest you became egotistical about it.

You always liked to be the center of attention. Lord knows how often you had been told about that part of yourself.

But kids grow up.

And suddenly they're too old for you to write too much about them anymore without violating their privacy and agency as people.

At the same time, you've hacked your to-do list to pieces. You've won awards, you've published in all the places, you're making money, you're even being paid to teach others how to do this.

But you're still garbage.

And now you're not even relatable. You are somehow too much and not enough at the same time.

You realize your bulletproof strategy was perhaps closer to compulsion than you want to admit, and you are not proud of yourself at all. Since you are garbage, everything you've accomplished is garbage, and those who celebrated your accomplishments are garbage and everything is garbage.

So you keep going, racking it up, doing your best. Your paper resume is fucking solid. There is no denying that you are GOOD.

Except you're not. You're leaking everywhere. You want to tell people about how hard you work, in the hopes that they will admire your tenacity and ethic, that they will see this goodness and say something. But you know that telling people about how hard you work is poison.

First, it might make them feel like they are hopeless, unaccomplished, not enough. It also provokes an eye-roll reaction, because, honestly, who cares what you've done. It gets to the point where even in places where you're supposed to list your accomplishments, you don't want to. "X is a freelance writer" is all you want to say. You're afraid the rest is bragging. You're afraid the rest is showing off. You're certain other people could do this, what you do. You are not special.

You do not want people to think you think you are special.

You do not want people to think you think you are better than them.

And now that your days consist of writing and interviewing and publishing instead of changing diapers and mushing up avocado, you can't hide what you've been doing all along, which is talking about yourself.

Forcing yourself to badly put together an IKEA dresser for your kids and forcing yourself to write a 2,000-word profile for a major magazine seem the same to you, but they're not. You can write about the first, and it's funny and cute. If you write about the second, it's smug, it's bragging. And not just about your accomplishments, but about the unhealthy standards to which you've held yourself, and about the unhealthy way you accomplished those standards.

And speaking of the kids, you look at them now, growing, and you see the weight has shifted. They are still good, but now you know that it is definitely in spite of you, rather than because of you. The kids are good because kids are made good, and it's all you can do to mess them up as little as possible, and you're failing.

You see other people, women in particular, doing what you have done, and you want to tell them to stop. You want to tell them it doesn't work. You want to protect them from this. You're afraid it will overwhelm them, swallow them. You're afraid they're doing it the way you did it, to fill something. You're afraid they'll wake up and find it still empty, like you did.

But you can't warn them. How presumptuous of you to assume they are like you. They are not garbage, after all. Why project your feelings all over their hard work?

You have long thought about how anxiety affects your life. You've come around to wondering about compulsion and what it even means. But you can't really complain about your feelings, your drive. If you do have anxiety, it's not that bad. You're just making a big deal out of it, like you always do.

People have it so much worse. You can get out of bed in the morning. You can do all the things! You do them, all the time. You have 'spoons.' Lots of spoons. All the spoons. You can go forever.

You worry that too much talk about this anxiety will turn people off. Now, not only do they feel compelled to pat you on the back whenever you've accomplished whatever stupid thing you set out to accomplish that day, they also will feel like they have to comfort you. That's an emotional burden they don't need. You think they'll resent you for it. You think they probably already do.

Here she comes. She has everything, does everything, and, still, she needs us to coddle her.

You've gone from relatable to off-putting. You've gone from just enough to make everyone happy to too much and too little all at once.

You're going to lose everyone, as well you should.

This is what happens when you base your narrative on failure and you then outwardly succeed. This is what happens when you make it on the outside without ever having looked at the inside.

And deep down, you know that your inside doesn't even deserve the attention you're giving it right now.

There is nothing wrong with you. You are fine.

Other than being garbage.

...

You throw some Christmas lights over your garbage heap and hit post.

6 Tips For Parents Who Hate to See Their Kids Sick -- Guest Post

Copyright free image: https://pixabay.com/en/boy-cranky-sad-laying-down-couch-694763/

Having a sick kid in the house is no fun. It’s even more challenging when the sick child is not yet old enough to talk.

I’m an Aunt of over a dozen kids from teenagers to toddlers and a Mother of one adorable princess. I have my own ways to make kids feel a little better, and take care of myself too, while they’re lying around and sick.

Kids are so pure, innocent, and sweet. If we sincerely try to make them feel better they’re instantly diverted and start to pep up. Here are six activities I do to cheer up kids when they’re feeling sick.

Photo albums

I love to look through the old family photo albums and tell them who’s who. Having a laugh about the old-school group pictures, family photographs, and first day at school photos of parents is always a blast. We also pull out the wedding photographs of their grandparents or their first picture with their grandparents as well.   

Drawing, coloring, and painting

It may sound funny, but I’ve noticed that sometimes kids are more creative when they’re not feeling good. Maybe it’s because they don’t keep hopping from one place to the other every minute. They tend to stay in one spot to work on the project at hand in a more relaxed mood. It’s probably similar to how a poet can write a beautiful romantic poem when they’re focused and alone.

Classic games

My nephews and nieces always enjoy playing cards, paper projects, and board games. They even know some of the games of my generation or even older generations: games that almost none of their friends are probably familiar with.

Most kinds nowadays only know how to play dots and boxes or Sudoku on a touch screen hand held electronic device. They haven’t ever played on paper, or cracked open a Sudoku book of several hundred puzzles. I’m sometimes anxious to find out how my own princess will feel about these classic games once she’s old enough to play.

Snuggles and cuddles

My husband has an amazing connection with our princess. They can snuggle for over an hour. AIt’sa process that totally calms my daughter down from any fever or pain from her teething. I enjoy looking at them having their mom and baby conversations.

My connection with my daughter is different. My way involves a lot of jumping and playing goofy games – not always most appropriate when she is sick, but a blast when she is well!

Watching movies or cartoons together

I used to have so much fun watching old family and wedding movies with my nephews and nieces. We would sit and make fun of the old fashion trends. The look of surprise on their faces to see their parents as young teens was priceless.

Being the youngest child of my parents, I didn’t have much company growing up to watch cartoons with. I can honestly say I’ve watched more cartoons after becoming an uncle and a father than I did as a child. It’s so much fun watching movies or cartoons with kids.

I’ve also discovered some really good cartoons for babies while trying to calm down my princess. The funny part is that I’m still getting suggestions to re-watch the same cartoons while I’m working – thanks to my browser’s history.

Making origami

I’ve never been good at art and craft stuff, but I’ve also never stopped trying. It’s so much fun to make paper airplanes, boats, balls, hats, and golf clubs. I love sitting down with sick kids to coach them through complicated folding instructions and make something fun out of a simple piece of paper.

Although I know kids are likely to get sick often because their immune system is still developing, I just can’t bear to watch kids feeling sick. Seeing them ill makes me feel so helpless to the point that I wish I could do something that will ensure no child ever gets sick.

Of course, we always keep a close watch on our children to ensure that they get the care they need, and on more than one occasion we’ve had to visit an emergency room, pediatric clinic, lab, or urgent care center to get a professional evaluation and diagnosis. Through thick and thin though we always make it back home to give additional tender loving care (TLC) and attention.

Even though we can’t prevent our little ones from coming down with a nasty bug, we can try to divert their attention towards something enjoyable and fun, all while making beautiful memories with them.

...

Zyana Morris is a passionate Health and Lifestyle Blogger who loves to write on prevailing Trends. She is a featured author at various authoritative blogs in the health and lifestyle industry. You can follow her through Facebook and Twitter.