Ten Activities That Can Increase Your Kid's Creativity -- Guest Post

Rev Up Your Kid's Creativity with Unique Activities!

When it's time to focus your kids' attention away from video games and texting, parents often struggle with how to interest kids in creative activities. To rev up your kid's creativity, begin by considering your kid's age level, general interests and attention span.

It's important to choose activities that meet with your kid's attention span. For example, the attention span of today’s five year old kids has a duration of about then minutes.

For older children, ages ten to fifteen, they may be able to concentrate for up to one hour without losing interest in the activities you provide. Keep in mind that each kid has a diverse sense of whimsy and fantasy that is all a part of their creative thinking.

1. Making Music is Fun and Creative

For the first activity, parents may want to invest in ear plugs and several musical instruments like tambourines, maracas, castanets, ukuleles and small tambor drums. There is a wealth of creativity to be found for kids who have the chance to "make music." These basic musical instruments help children develop a sense of sound, rhythm and ability to create music that requires "teamwork."

2. After a wild session with musical instruments, parents may want to reverse the frenetic pace by allowing kids to dance to classical music in free form. If parents prefer, they can also teach their kids classic ballroom dance steps. The idea is to allow kids to "feel the music" and to create adaptive movement that is uniquely theirs.

3. There's another creative and fun activity kids will love: creating rhyming words. Parents can give their kid a small picture of a cat or dog, and make a game of finding as many words that rhyme with these words. Older children can write them down. To make it more of a contest, offer a prize to the kid who rhymed the most words.

4. Nothing is more creative or fun than a scavenger hunt. Kids' creative juices spike when parents create a list with five items kids should hunt for. The hunt can be done at home, in a library, museum, outdoors in a park with supervision or in their own room or even their toy box. It's a great way to get children to creatively organize their possessions so they can be found at a future date.

5. Creating a Recipe

Few kids understand how to follow recipes. By allowing kids to create a recipe of their very own, they can see the connections between certain ingredients, preparation, cooking or baking time and serving food to others. For this, parents can use a list of basic ingredients like cookie crumbs blended with cream cheese to make truffles. Provide cocoa or powdered sugar and cookie decorations they can roll the truffles in.

6. Organizing Kids Money

Kids today don't often get a chance to use cold hard cash. It may be a creative learning curve to teach them how to count back change from a dollar or make a game of having them purchase items from your pantry with a specified amount of "play" money.

7. Activities for Autonomy

As kids become more independent, parents need to reinforce the idea of responsibility. Provide activities kids can do without assistance that fits into a general plan.

For example, allow kids input for the next family outing, such as organizing an itinerary for sightseeing and preparing the things for family outings. Older kids can research sights they feel all members of their family want to see. By allowing kids to create a sightseeing itinerary, they develop a sense of timing and also a keen sense of awareness of their family's likes and dislikes.

8. Hands On Creative Activities

Make a game of teaching very young children how to tie their laces. Older children should be exposed to learning how to sew buttons or put labels on their clothing. These are valuable skills they can develop for use in a variety of arts and crafts.

9. Speaking of Arts and Crafts

While kids' fingers grow ever more adept at texting, their fingers need a more creative outlet like crafting their own scrapbooks or learning the creative art of sculpting. Sculpting for kids can begin with ordinary clay or kids’ putty. Provide an idea of a form from a picture or other source and then let their creative juices flow.

10. Who Am I?

There is an artist in every kid. Too often, their art is limited to living room walls. Create a structured format for their "artwork" by allowing them to create free form drawings of themselves on large poster board paper. The result of their self-imagery might be fascinating.

Conclusion

Every kid has a creative urge that needs to be set free. When kids are working hands on instead of allowing hi tech devices to do it all for them, they realize their true inner sense of creativity.

Pie Face

So, right before Pie Face was all the rage, my father bought my kids the game and sent it to us.

It sat in its box for quite a while, then, since I kept saying, "no, let's not play it today," eventually they took it upon themselves to open the box and lose a piece or two and make a huge mess.

Then it sat atop my fridge for quite a while because I just could not with that whole thing.

Today, we decided, was the day to actually try it out.

And just as in that viral video, the girls absolutely loved it. Giggles galore.

I didn't take a video, but I snapped some pictures and I'll put them together for you below in a series I call, Pie Face: In Sequence.

Dealing with change

Most people don't like change much, even when that change is pleasant. Something about routine disruption makes people uneasy. The same is true for children, except, unlike adults, they usually can't pinpoint the cause of their distress. This makes the first few weeks of anything new a cranky, whiny mess...including summer vacation.

So how can families move seamlessly from one routine to another?

First, if you can,  structure your summer days so that there actually is another routine to go to. Many times we want to leave summer days open to give them a proper vacation feel, but what we consider a break might be incredibly stressful for our children as they struggle to figure out what to do with all the hours that had until recently been laid out in excruciating detail for them. You have to ease then into freedom. Start by lining up activities and chores for the entire day and gradually introduce ten minute breaks of free time. Then fifteen minutes. Then half hours. Soon enough your cistern should be able to create their own structure with just your suggestions,  and then you'll be home free until school starts up again and you have to deal with that change.

Second,  do not forget to feed them. Not that you'd starve your kids but remember that school meals aren't necessarily at normal times. My kids eat loch at school at 10:30 a.m. Their bodies are trained to be hungry at that odd time but without the set routine that tells them they're hungry,  they might not recognize the feeling and get cranky instead of asking for food. If you make sure a snack is out when your kids are used to eating, you'll save yourself many unnecessary breakdowns.

Third,  keep your bedtime routine the same. They'll need a constant in their lives as everything else changes and at least they'll know that your part of their day remains the same whether they're in school or not. It will show them you're consistent.

Fourth,  even though they have nowhere to be, when they wake up, make sure they get up and ready for the day. This gives them menial specific tasks to concentrate on as their brains wake up and they won't be drowned in a fog of general anxiety at the thought of an empty day they have to fill with their own ideas.

Throughout it all, remember, school will be starting again before you know it.

Ask a Teacher: What should I do with my kids this summer?

For some, summer is already here. Some of us are hanging on for a few more days before we get to enjoy the sweet, sweet freedom of summer. For parents, summer is a whole different challenge. Suddenly you have these kids and they need to be entertained and summer just feels so long. There are three things you need to try this summer to help you get through the weeks ahead.

1. Check out local kid programs!

This may involve some travel for those living in more rural locations, but it will be well worth it. Check out what free or low cost programs are available in your city. For instance, in Louisville, my hometown, we have a cultural pass for everyone ages zero through sixteen. What does that mean? They get one free admission to most local museums, and so does the parent accompanying them. It's great for kids who want a trip to the zoo, a swing by the science center, or a glance at our art museum. While your city may not have such a low cost program, odds are your local attractions will have some kind of deal going on, you just have to check their websites and maybe start following their Twitter to get in the know.

2. Check out the library programs!

Your kid might be too old for toddler story time, but most libraries have programs all the way up through the teen years, such as reading challenges and classes to attend. You'll get a really cool experience and you can avoid the summer learning loss through programs at your local library.

3. Leave some unstructured time!

While filling the days with activities can be an issue for some parents, overfilling the days can be a whole different ball game. If you've signed your child up for five different summer camps and put them on the swim team and started a reading challenge and on and on, your child won't get the rest they really need from summer. A lot goes on during those school days and kids are exhausted. There is such a thing as doing too much. Try to give your child unstructured time every day and entire weeks off to be a kid.

Remember to have fun and enjoy the days with your children. I know they days seem long and sometimes it seems like a lot, but I promise this time is a great time to get to know who your kid grew into over the last school year. Enjoy each other and put aside worries about next school year.

...

Emilie is a high school English teacher with two children. She holds a Bachelors in English and a Masters in Secondary Education. After completing student teaching at an urban, Persistently Low Achieving (PLA) school, she was placed at another PLA school in the same school district. Her Ask a Teacher column can also be found over at Teaching Ain't for Heroes.

Running through mud

It's taken me years to decide I'm a work-at-home mom rather than a stay-at-home-mom, and for me the distinction came with the money (although, honestly, I'm not making a great deal of income right now, so even though it feels full time, it's probably part time, but still...FEELINGS.)

It's tough because nothing ever seems to get done, although I know logically enough must be getting done because we can still walk in my house, my kids still love me, and I still get new projects each week. Still, it feels like I'm running in mud.

Today went like this:

At 6:30 a.m., I got up. I woke up the kids. Started getting them dressed and went out with the dog. One of the twins wasn't feeling well, and decided to stay home but not, of course, without a lot of hand wringing and drama over her decision. We weren't sure if she was actually sick at first, but since she never has faked this stuff before, we went with it, even though she had no fever or outward signs of ill.

I walked the other one to school at 7:30 a.m. and arrived back home just before 8, where I went in to talk to the sick twin and lo and behold, she had to upchuck...something blue? Welp, good decision on the staying home, I guess.

Anyway, after that, I set her up on the couch for just a hot second, after still making her get dressed because I had physical therapy at 9:30 a.m. and guess who had to come with me? But first I took out the trash and recycling and picked up all the dog excrement from the week (he goes in one spot in our yard, so it's, like, fine. Whatever). Then I came in and washed up, made my husband half his breakfast and his lunch, and girly and I got going.

I was at PT for an hour for this ridiculous neck/back injury that I reinjured somehow, I don't even know, but is for real a pain in the ass, and I hate every second of this new literal-pain-in-the-neck life. The PT didn't help, and Lilly was bored, but we got it done.

Back at home at 10:30, I made her some tea she didn't drink and toast she didn't eat. She did have a banana though, so winning. Then I set her up in front of the TV and she watched two Mickey Mouse Playhouses while I edited a piece on the minimum wage hike in LA for Time Ideas.

She wanted to play on her tablet after that, and the Brave game that we left at Nana's in Connecticut. Of course. We compromised and she played a Monsters Inc. game she'd forgotten about while I moved on to editing a piece on opioids in Montana. I ran into a bit of trouble with it, and it took me the rest of the time Dulce was in school to straighten out most of its kinks. This always happens. An edit that should take an hour takes three. My life. I gave Lilly half a turkey sandwich she didn't eat, and some crackers she didn't eat. She eventually had three slices of apple and some juice.

We picked up Dulce, and the girls had a snack which they mostly didn't eat. Then they played on their tablet together, sharing it, and I lay down for 15 minutes because my stupid neck. Got up and continued working on the opioid piece until about 3:30 p.m. when I just said eff it. Now I'm waiting on some return emails.

I sent emails out on three other stories and am waiting on replies. I contracted two new stories (I think. Maybe just one?) and another client followed up on a newsletter I'm supposed to be writing for them, but they didn't really follow up, only kind of. Got an email from my agent.

Great news! They think my new proposal is way, way, like, much stronger, and they're finally ready to send it back to the editor who was interested. Only that editor no longer works at the publisher. Womp womp womp. Of course.

Wrote a fantastic essay on pantsuits for Dame Magazine then, and pegged it to Hil's new pantsuit tee-shirt. That was a mistake, though, because they're full up on content this week, so I'll have to find a new peg in a few weeks and get back to it then.

Girls had moved on to watching TV at that point, and watched some show I hate called "I didn't do it" on Disney Channel for like at least an hour before I had to shut their whiny faces off.

Then we did chores together, the girls and I. Lilly did dishes, Dulce cleaned off the table and I cleaned the kitchen and living room spaces. It is our routine. After that I made them quesadillas for dinner with rice and broccoli as sides, and they ate half or most of it, depending on which twin we're talking about. Dulce had a cookie for dessert but Lil still wasn't feeling that great in her tummy so she skipped it.

My husband came home from work right after we finished going over their homework for the week, and they finished their dinners while I started making ours. Then I made them get ready for bed while they tried to play with dolls and walkie talkies, and glow sticks. My husband and I ate while they played a bit and then I managed to get them into bed. I went to do the dishes and I poured dog food in the soap container because I am utterly on top of things.

All day there were lots of hugs, lots of me breaking up silly fights and stopping silly tantrums, and lots of me getting them juice, gum, a snack, a tissue, some water, some tea, something. Anything. Get them something.

It's G day tomorrow, so we picked out green clothing and got two card games they could bring to school (I hope they don't lose Uno. I actually like that one). Hugs and kisses and I love yous to bed.

I really like this life, I just wish I could get more things done during each day. I was supposed to clean the kitchen and the bedroom and the bathroom today. I was supposed write two more articles than I did. I was supposed to play with my kids more. I was supposed to clean the playroom with them. I was supposed to finish research for my master's thesis.

I ran out of time. I always run out of time. Running through mud. At least I wrote in the blog today?

Signing up for summer camp, why you need to do it

Summers can be tough, and this one is coming right up. I know (from experience) that to try to entertain the kids by yourself all summer, even if you pack your calendar with fun things to do every single day, is a recipe for disaster. And, honestly, I'm getting old. I just don't have the stamina I had two years ago for kid entertainment.

That first summer before kindergarten we were going to cheap movies at 9 a.m., we took in every free library show we could. We went to the community pool, we went to every park in town. We had friends over for playdates. We did water activities in the backyard.

We were so sick of each other by the end of August it wasn't even funny.

The next year was so much better. I took the time to do my research for summer camps. This, by the way, is HARD.

First, you have to look up all the camps and what they do. For us, anything religious is out. I also stay at home, so I don't want anything in the mornings. My girls will sleep until 9 if I let them, and I'm not waking them up to go to camp. So we needed half days. Then there is the pricing.

First you've got your base price which is anywhere from $100 per child a week (for half time) to $400 per child a week (lol, no). So only the cheapest are for us.

Being that they ARE the cheapest, then we have to do a bunch more research. Where are these places in town? Are they a legitimate organization? Will there be appropriate supervision? Do they know how to help a child who is injured or sick? Are they planning on taking field trips or using vehicles to transport my kids and when? Do they provide food? How many other kids are enrolled and what ages are they? Lots of questions. I'm sure I'm forgetting about 100.

But wait! Your second child sometimes gets a discount! Fantastic. And sometimes if you register early, you pay less. Doubly fantastic!

But wait again! Regardless of all that, you are most likely going to have to pay a "registration fee" if you are not already a member of the organization. So add all that discount money back in.

Okay. Good. Now pick your type of camp. Sports camp, dance camp, all girls camp, sleepaway camp (lol yeah right), science camp (all of these are too expensive), etc.

Now pick your week or weeks. Go over your budget. How many weeks can you afford to drop more than $200 just so you don't have to stare at your kids all day long (working parents, obvi this doesn't apply. And, honestly, camp seems to be cheaper than babysitters for the most part. Actually, maybe not, we do half day. Probably the same or higher. I don't know, I don't know. Too much math and budget for me. Good luck, working parents. I know you already have this shit figured out, anyway).

I think we can manage three weeks this year, which is two weeks more than last year (yay freelance writing!)

I'll sign my kids up for two weeks of Capoeira Camp and a week of Gymnastics Camp. But the Capoeira is in two-week sessions. I should probably do the session right after school ends. Otherwise we creep up on July 4th and what if we want to go somewhere?

And then gymnastics camp is in late July. So what are we going to do for August? Well, we are going to Connecticut to visit my mom (I think) but that's the last week before school starts. Should I make it two weeks? It doesn't really add to our expenses to make it longer. But what about my husband? He can only take one week off from work, and the girls and I went to Connecticut last year without him and it sucked.

Gah. Summer. All these thoughts floating around. Nothing pinned down. Dollar signs, and calendars and catchphrases caught in my head leading nowhere. Signing up for summer. It's hard.

Worth it, though. I cannot recommend getting your kids into at least a week or two of camp per summer. Go get 'em.

Making it out of school alive (or Z to A month)

My kids do great in school. They make good grades, love to learn, have fun absorbing information like a sponge, and they both have wonderful, caring teachers this year, to boot.

So why do I have to dress them up like zebras, then have them bring in yo-yos, then Wheat Thins, and then wear velcro, and today wear University of Florida gear...

and then,

guys, it doesn't stop.

The first grade is doing this lovely little TWENTY-SIX DAY project called Z-A. And every day the girls have to do something different for the letter as addressed on the cutesy calendar the school sent home.

And I'm doing it, I really am. I'm a great mom, I swear. I even sent my kid to school today in one of my old Gator sweatshirts because we have NO gator clothes. I am committed.

But I am already tired.

And on top of it, it is teacher appreciation week (which I feel is much more important), so we're picking flowers off the roadside and making baseball cupcakes and other adorable snacks to celebrate our teachers. We're giving dollar bills in envelopes marked "room parents". We're bending over backward here, as parents, just as the end of the year sludge is trying to kick in full force. It is HARD.

I have another three weeks of letters and never has the alphabet seemed so long.

Superhero day, red day, orange day, queen day (girls wear crowns?). We don't have any superhero t-shirts, or red ones or orange ones. We might not have two working crowns. I'm dying over here.

I love the creativity. I love the idea. As an idea. As a thing that first graders do for an endless period of time, not so much. This is a lot of work for the parents, and probably a lot of work for the teachers. My kids would have been fine without it. What they don't know exists doesn't harm them.

Next year, in second grade, I hope we do a whole lot of nothing at the end of the year.

Please?

The Birthday Card

My kids are six, and as such, they're still at the age where you mostly stay for birthday parties, unless the parents make it explicit that you can, in fact, leave (I always do this. In case people would like to do something with their lives while my children mark another year). But I don't mind parents who do. I don't mind hanging out at a kids' party for a few hours for the most part.

Getting the present, though, that always sneaks up on me, and while I've gotten savvy on the wrapping (I keep wrapping tissue and gift bags in the car), I never ever ever remember a card. And the labels on the gift bags are already all used up because they are totally gift bags we got with, um, gifts in them. We're re-users, here.

Usually, I just raise my hand when the organizer looks in confusion at the blank bag, but for some reason, this time, one of my girls was insistence I at least leave some kind of note.

But we were already at the party, though.

So this was the best I could do.

It's the blank side of my grocery list from this morning which was still scrunched in my purse. I am nothing if not classy. Still, the kid was appeased and all would have gone well until the birthday coordinator made a huge speech about reading birthday cards before opening each present because cards are thoughtful and nice and heartfelt.

And I just about died.

I sidled over to the birthday mom and told her what happened, and she died laughing, but when she recovered she placed our present toward the back so that maybe some of the CARD LECTURE would have faded. And the slip of paper was read with no other incident, thank goodness.

Guess it's time for me to throw some blank cards in my car, too, eh?

Adventures in a "safe" neighborhood

Earlier in the week, I sent my kids out to play in the neighborhood as I sometimes allow them to do. The roads are small here, good sidewalks, speed limit 20, everyone knows everyone. Basically it's as safe a place as we could get without my constant parental eye overseeing every possible action.

Usually, the kids come to me and tell me each and every time they are about to start a new activity or go to a new location. This can get annoying if they are in a bout of indecision and come running to me every two minutes with new plans that are hardly different from each other, but at the end of the day, the annoyance is worth it because I know where my kids are and I can go check on them whenever I need to.

Until, of course, earlier this week, when unbeknownst to me, the girls thought it would be a great idea to ditch their scooters on one side of a field, trek across to the other side, go through some bushes, and climb a fence into a farm area that was most definitely not part of the neighborhood.

Once there, apparently, they decided to explore a little; at least enough so that they became totally turned around. Half an hour later, I had two young girls burst into my house yelling MOMMY, MOMMY, at the top of their lungs.

They were so happy to see me, they said. They didn't even care if they got punished, they said. They were just glad to be home and safe, they said.

(I'm thinking it's one too many after-school live-action Disney shows that told them the appropriate way to react in this situation.)

They were scratched up from thorns when they couldn't find their easy-access route back to the field and decided to Rambo it under the fence through the thick shrubbery. Heck, one of them had her pants torn open, from a thorn or something. Thankfully there was no blood (which means no emergency room. Yay!)

Their delight at being back home and their willingness to be punished diminished quickly however, when they discovered that real life concern and redirection take longer than the end-credit roll of a sit-com. As they were doing dishes and cleaning the living room with me, their gratefulness to be back home ebbed away and they longed to go back outside and play. I allowed them the fenced-in backyard, which drew complaints, but they knew everything had to calm down before I'd let them out on their own again.

We went over the "tell me every single time you change places" spiel again, and they seemed to renew their loyalty to it.

So, today, for the first time since the incident, I let them out again, this time armed with walkie-talkies so that they could contact me at any moment. I thought it would be a safety precaution, in case they ended up turned around again, or, at the very least, the weight of the contraption on their waistline would remind them to stick to known areas lest they get themselves in trouble.

What it was instead?

A constant, every-30-second barrage. "Mom. MOM. Mom, can you hear me?"

"Mom, I love you."

"Mom, what time is it?"

"Mom, Dulce is teasing me."

"Mom, can we knock on our friend's door?"

"Mom. WE LOVE YOU, MOM."

"Mom. Hello? Mom?"

...

It's nice to be loved and needed, but I think next time we'll forego the walkie-talkies. If my kids know how to do anything, it's how to overdo it.

The annoyance of dance

Trying to sign your kids up for ballet is the nightmare that doesn't end.

First of all, never do it mid-January because nothing is open for registration / everything that would have been open is full.

Secondly, hardly any of them list the pricing, which is super important to me, actually. I want my kids to dance, yes, but I also don't have limitless funds.

Third, it's really hard to buy ballet gear. I'm going to have to try Sports Authority, I guess, since Walmart, Target and Kmart had nothing.

Fourth, I know it's super expensive, and for all that money (however much it is) you only get an hour a week. I'd like two, please. Two days of class a week would be nice. My kids aren't going to remember between sessions, you know?

Fifth, what is with "dance homework"? --Listen to 20 minutes of your favorite classical music every day. Do ten push ups and sit ups for strength. Etc. I'm just not that dedicated to my children's advancement in the arts, to be honest. I'm a horrible parent and would rather have them doing dishes for me and such.

That's all for today. Just needed to complain about dance.




 

On actually being a parent

Parenting can be pretty hard for me. I worked tirelessly for three years (when the girls were 2-5), entertaining them, teaching them how to use the bathroom, how to eat and drink, how to wipe, how to make their beds. I played with them endlessly. From getting their balls that rolled under the couch, to building lego towers, to pretending to be a scary witch who would lock them in a make-believe tower should they be caught. My entire days, for those three years, basically consisted of me staring at their darling little faces. And they needed that.

Then in their fifth year, they gained a little independence. They would go out and play with the neighborhood kids, they could sit still for a 2-hour movie, they could construct hours-long make believe games on their own.

So, they went off to kindergarten and I started grad school. They joined capoeira and I started writing regularly as a freelancer. I published books, I made contacts, I got into publications. At long last! My life was set to begin again! I filled my to-do list with things FOR ME TO DO, cleaning, housework, homework, writing, pitching, publishing, going to the gym. The time we had for interaction dwindled.

And I celebrated!

It's not that I don't like hanging out with my kids, I really do. It's that I had literally put my life on hold to raise them. And I prematurely thought I was done.


And when I found out that I was wrong, I didn't handle it right.

They started misbehaving. Not wanting to be left to their own devices. They still wanted my attention (being only six, after all), and started clamoring for it by fighting, giving me attitude and resuming the tantrums they had thrown as toddlers.

Instead of nipping this in the bud, I rebelled myself, like I also was a petulant child. I'd finally gotten a taste of freedom, a promise of what my life could be. I didn't want to give it up. I had things to do.

So, I grew snappish with them. They'll literally cry for my attention, or poke each other's eyes out, or look at each other or breathe on each other, you know, all the earth-shattering things little kids can do to each other.

They can no longer play nicely. Hell, they can't even watch TV in the same room for more than ten minutes without attempting to kill one another. And instead of nipping these fights in the bud, redirecting them or funneling their energy into a different activity, I grow annoyed. Why can't they play? What is going on? So I break it up in a negative manner, send one or the other to her room for five minutes, then she comes out and they do it again.

I don't enjoy their company, and I don't get anything done. Then I blame them. Then they blame me. And we all live in a hellish mockery of a home.

So, this week, I restructured. After totally losing it about my kids, and my writing, and my school and my stress, and my illnesses (my body has been breaking down all over the place), I took a step back and re-prioritized.

Yes, it's great that I can "work from home" and "be a writer". That is fantastic. It's great my kids can feed themselves and dress themselves and (sometimes) entertain themselves. But they're not ready to be understanding enough to just go do their own thing, and me pushing them to do that without giving guidance will clearly end in tears.

So, I dialed back a bit. In fact, it's 5 p.m. and this blog is the only thing I've written all day. I started it at 10 a.m., and have been able to get in a sentence here and a sentence there. Very reminiscent of when the girls were three, in fact.

I've toned down my efforts in grad school. Maybe I'll only get Cs this semester instead of As. Oh  well.

Because none of that other stuff matters if I can't bring up children who know their boundaries and have the ability to keep themselves busy and happy without needling me or each other.

To get that, I have to do what is counter intuitive and actually spend more time with them, not less.

And really, it's not that much more time since when I'm trying to ignore them because I'm on deadline, I have to spend nearly as much time disciplining them as I spent with them today...only it's all negative.

So, yeah. More time on the kids, not less. But the time must be spent teaching them how to play without me. By playing with them. On paper it makes no sense.

But based on today, it just might work.

And then, maybe in a few more years, I'll be able to write like I want to write. Maybe. Or maybe not.



 

Yoga Phrases for the Competitive Mind

I'm basically the worst match for yoga in the history of ill-fitting romances. I'm not one to just "let go of what I'm holding". I need that shit. Also, I'm not satisfied to just be present in my body. That body has things to do, and I still haven't quite reconciled that fact with me allowing it to lay still for fifteen minutes "softening." When I "follow my breath" I follow it to the ground. It took me two months to figure out the instructor meant follow it into your body, not follow it after it leaves your nose. In class, I compose frenetic to-do lists, figuring out how to best compose my day after this basically groundless excuse to stretch for an hour while listening to Gregorian chants.

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You could say I'm an anxious sort of person. Which is why I started doing yoga. So…well done?

I'm not quite ready to "receive the effects of the postures" and I thought maybe I'm not the only one who hears something other than what is said during this hour of "being present."

With that in mind, here's a short run down of how yoga terminology translates to in the competitive, scattered mind, and how one might react to such phrases:

There is no achievement, there is no goal.

Achievement right now would be doing a correct pigeon, thank you very much. Actually, that's the goal, too. There is achievement and goal, right here! Why are you lying to me?

Discover who you are without struggle.

Without struggle I am...nothing. Well, that's depressing. Let’s quickly move along, shall we?

Find your edge.

Actually, I'm interested in finding your edge, instructor. That's why I'm here. To be as good at this as you are.

Be curious about where you can go.

Can I jump right over my edge? That's where I'd like to go, please. This edge is kind of in my way.

Doing the posture will not make you a better friend or neighbor.

Good thing I'm not here to be a better friend or neighbor. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm trying to force my knee to the floor with my mind, and you're interrupting The Force, here, lady.

The worst that could happen is that you fall.

That will never ever happen. Like neve--WHOA! Well, shit. That was embarrassing.

Think about crawling your fingers back.

Crawl your damn fingers back. Now.

You might even hold onto your foot with your hand.

You will hold onto your foot with your hand if it kills you. God, I hate my edge. HAND. GO TO FOOT. HAND. WHAT ARE YOU DOING? GO. TO. FOOT. I COMMAND YOU.

If you are struggling, let it go.

No.

Suffering is not required.

Thank God it's still optional, then. Because until I am my most beautiful tree, you can bet your ass I'm going to suffer.

Breath, relax, think, feel and allow.

So…I have a grocery list to compile right now, if we're just going to stand here for a sec.

Let your body move any way it's asking.

Is it my fault my body always asks to cross its arms, slouch and look at the instructor impatiently? I think not. I'm just doing what she said.

Soften the space between your eyes.

What? There is a skull there, dudes.

Without lifting your head, lift your ears.

What in the hell even?

This is a beautiful place to practice.

Translation: You totally suck at yoga. Don't hurt yourself, big guy.

Let go of what you are holding.

Um, no? That is a really scary prospect, and if you don't mind, I'll just cling to it, lest it get away from me and then ambush me later.

Be in the present moment.

But, like, the present moment is kind of boring, though. I'm pretty boring, to be honest. Can we be somewhere else? I hear zen is pretty rad. Let's go there.

Consider deepening the twist.

Deepen that motherfucking twist, right now.

Let your hands come to wherever they rest.

Touch. The. Floor. Without. Bending. Your. Knees.

Honor your edge.

Translation: Hahahahaha, I see you failing this pose. Give up now before you humiliate yourself.

One side might want something different than the other.

Translation: Man, you really suck on the left side, huh? I guess that side just wants to lie down. Maybe eat a bonbon.

Nothing to do, nowhere to be but in this moment.

God, why am I such a privileged piece of shit? All the other people have things to do and places to be. TRY HARDER. AT EVERYTHING.


Of course, I am fully aware that you are not supposed to think these things, but I don’t care.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a book to write, a marathon to run, two children to raise, dinner to cook, school to go to, manuscripts to edit--omg. Where's the coffee?

 

Fail Kitchen - How to make creepy apple grins

This one is a great family craft if you're up for it.

Only child versus the twin

Yesterday, I took my daughter on our first alone day together (we've done one other alone day, but I had the other twin).

We went to the library where it was 'family board game day' (not recommended, I was disappointed in this event.)

Anyway, she and I were playing happily this I Spy game, helping each other and generally bonding when Only Child came over.

Only Child had the demeanor of almost every only child I've ever met. She was sweet, cute, happy to be alive, utterly intrusive and slightly irritating. This is not her fault. She is alone ALL THE TIME and just wants to play with another little kid for cripes sake.

Dulce, however, was having none of it.

As a twin, she NEVER gets her mommy alone. This was, without exaggeration, the first time we've ever had one-on-one time together. She WANTED it. Needed it.

She was not rude, and neither was I, but it was super uncomfortable having to continually redirect Only Child away from us. Under normal circumstances, I'd have made my kids play with her.

When we explained Dulce was a twin and this was our special time together, Only Child (being only 7), kind of understood, but her understanding was not enough to overcome her desperate desire to have a playdate (or even a makeshift family...her mom was travelling in New York, she told me). She kept popping up, trying to play, and I tried to make room for her, best I could, gently trying to convince Dulce to play with her.

Finally, Dulce looked at her and said, "this is my special day with my mom. I never get one because of my twin sister. You're nice, but we don't want to play with you right now."

Only Child: You're lucky! I don't have anyone to play with ever. In fact, hardly anyone talks to me. I have to come to the library because Grandma needs her books. But I have to stay over here while she gets them. I'm really lonely. Hey! Let's play this Elmo game together, it looks really fun.

Dulce: headdesk.

We eventually left to go make our own cupcakes, but I still feel bad for the girl. And while Dulce says all the time that she wants to be an only child, I don't think she really means it.

I mean, at the grocery store we had to buy a flower for Natalina, and a lollipop for Natalina, and we had to decorate a cupcake for Natalina, the way Dulce thought Natalina would like it.

And as soon as we got home, Dulce looked around and said, "I wish Natalina were here!" Then caught herself, shook her head, and said, "I mean, no I don't. I want to be an only child."

The grass. It is greener.






 

Moment of the Week - Capoeira show

The girls put on their first show after practicing for months. So proud.