Blogging about kids is hard

There are so many poignant, important blogs I could write right now about the struggles and triumphs of my children as they blossom into full-fledged big kids. I have words of comfort for other parents, I have tales of trials and tribulations, I have questions about how to handle these phases now that my kids are old enough to fully and loudly voice their opinions about my parenting.

But I can't.

Every time I try to write about something we're going through, I have to stop. It's gotten too private. Things that would have easily gotten a pass for me to write about when the girls were babies or toddlers, I'm no longer comfortable discussing. Not because we have anything to be ashamed of, but because my girls are more than just extensions of myself. And I feel like they have the right to their quirks, oddities and behaviors. That they have the right to work out their personalities in some semblance of privacy.

And since any reflection of my parenting will inevitably involve them, I've really stopped writing. I don't know if it's the right decision, but I'd rather be safe than sorry. And given the topics on which I've written before I came to this conclusion, it may already be too late.

At any rate, my children can read well now. Anything I type down can be easily digested by their eyes and minds. And blogging necessitates a removal of self from the situation which is fine to require of myself, but unfair to ask my six year olds to attempt. There is no 'greater good' here other than the healthy development of my kids and their psyches and safe spaces.

So, to all the essays, blogs, articles and ideas I have floating around, I apologize for letting you grow stale. I'm sorry I'm letting you dry up in the recesses of my mind rather than typing you down. I'm sorry that it turns out you're not so important after all.

My kids have always been my number one priority for as much and as often as I fail with them. What started out as a way to better myself as a parent to them has become, as they age, a forum that feels exploitative and crude.

I'm not saying all mommy bloggers must stop writing, far from it. I'm simply saying I'm not a good enough writer right now to transcend the privacy issues I'm seeing with every single blog idea I have today.

Maybe someday I'll do better.

Why ridiculous stories do well

So today I had a piece up on Washington Post On Parenting about my hilariously bad grocery shopping habits.

I pitched it as a funny blog bit, and that's what I wrote, style and form and all. I mean, I used the word poo-splosion in the Washington Post, and I'm thinking not many people have been able to pull that off.

Now, why on Earth would I do such a thing? Does it get any more boring than grocery shopping?

I didn't think so. Until I posted a picture of my carriage on my private facebook, to show my friends how full it was. (My facebook is SCINTILLATING, let me tell you about it.)

Anyway, in true fashion, I got about 250 comments telling me about all the ways I was doing it wrong, with varying degrees of outrage, disgust and empathy. It was a pretty great thread, not going to lie.

And I've learned a few things about the Internet:

1) Facebook doesn't lie. If people wanted to talk about my groceries on Facebook, they probably wanted to talk about my groceries in a national newspaper.

2) You don't have to be serious all the time. The tone in this blog (and in that piece) is pretttttty different from the tone I strike when writing a story on something actually relevant to anyone's life.

3) People LOVE to feel superior to other people, and I love to help them make that happen.

This grocery shopping post was number one in the parenting section all day, and it was the fourth most read story on the Washington Post site itself during business hours. My husband was thinking that, damn, a whole lot of people must think they grocery shop wrong and want a companion, but that's not it. I mean, surely some people were there for that, but I've no doubt most of the clicks were hate clicks. People can look at that carriage and read my little comedy bit about the process, and they can feel better than me. And I don't mind! Grocery shopping rates right alongside bowling with things I wish I could do really well at. So if I'm able to fill that I'm-better-than-you void with some puffy writing, all the better for both of us.

But, yeah, if anyone was wondering, it's a thing. It's not clickbait. I mean, nothing in the title, I grocery shop all wrong, screams click me. It's not important. Nothing leads anyone to believe it is. And other than click bait and importance, we're left with two reasons people click things:

1) Hate click. Their friend read it and shared it with the "OMG HOW IS THIS IN THE POST" label.

2) Superiority. They read the headline and figured they'd be able to feel successful about one area of their lives.

And that's how a blog-like grocery post got so popular on WaPo.

The end.

Rasputin pwns the twins

Thought I'd pop in a movie for my poor, sick kids, so I could clean the kitchen and write this blog.

Wrong. Instead, this happened:


"Mom, is the bat a good guy?"

"He doesn't seem to hate Anastasia, he must be good?"

"How can Rasputin tear his whole body apart?"

"How is he bad?"

"If he can't die, like in the beginning, mom, how come he can die at the end?"

"How can bats come out of his body? I just want you to tell me why? And what is selling your soul? And who is the devil? If Anastasia's grandmother killed him, then how could he sell his soul?"

"What even is a soul? Is hell bad? Where is his blood? Is Rasputin an alien?"

"Why does he hate Anastasia? I don't understand. He looks like a person. Are you telling me he's not a person? Why does he still look like a person then? WHY DOE HIS BODY KEEP COMING APART? Mom. MOM."

"If he's already dead, how can he die again? Is he dead? Is he a zombie? The bad guy, well, is everything broken? His mustache, his lips, his eyes, even his butt?"

"Why would the devil want souls? I don't think the devil is in this movie? Do I have a soul? Can I sell it?"

"Why is the bad guy trying to kill Anastasia? He should be trying to kill the grandma."

"Why is that boy sad now? Why is he scared about Anastasia being a princess?"

"Now she's wearing dresses all the time. When is she going to be in shirt and pants again? Do princesses always wear dresses? Can I wear whatever I want all the time, too? Why aren't I a princess, mommy?"
...

Guess I'll go do the dishes and tidy up instead.





 

How to Make a Career Out of Freelance Writing - Guest Post

So, I'm a mom first, but very much a writer second, and sometimes I make money at this, and sometimes I don't. Kristen Duvall has actually gone nose-to-grindstone with the freelance, and through hard work and persistence, well, she's making it work. If you'd like to give it a try (which I recommend), she's got some amazing tips here for the beginner and the advanced alike.

....

First of all, I never set out to make a living as a freelance writer. That all happened by accident. In fact, I have a graduate degree in real estate development, not English or journalism. I have always loved writing, but it seemed like an impossible dream so I went for the more “practical” path.

But then things changed. I won't go into details, it's not important. But desperation will lead you to do anything to pay the bills... and for me, that anything happened to be writing. Not I'm no expert on the subject, and I hate to jinx myself by bragging too much... but I have been able to make a decent amount living from writing and I can say, it's not impossible. Heck, I don't even consider myself that great of a writer... I think I'm decent enough, and I put out work I'm happy with. I have one book of short stories published, and I have a few publishing credits to my name, but I'm by no means as good as many writers out there. So if I can do it, so can you, trust me.

Many people look at websites like The Huffington Post, and when they realize many of those don't pay their writers, it can get pretty discouraging. Of course, the HuffPo is great for exposure... but exposure won't pay the bills. So what do you do when you need to pay the bills, and you can't wait for the exposure to pay off?

You freelance.

I'm here to answer a few questions about freelancing, and hopefully offer some tips that'll help those of you interested in getting into as well. It's easy to get discouraged when you see big journals who won't pay for your time, or clients who expect you to work for pennies on the dollar, but it doesn't have to be that way.

So first off, how did I break into the freelance market?

I happened to know someone who was writing for a celebrity gossip site and she hooked me up. The job paid $10 an article and I was expected to write two articles a day, every single day. At first, it was a slow process and I was frustrated... $20 a day for a day's work? But I had no other choice and it was my only income at the time, so I stuck with it. Before I knew it, I wrote faster and faster articles so I could take on additional work.

Now, I know not everyone knows someone who can get them into a job like that. My advice to you is to sign up for Elance.com or any number of websites devoted to freelancing. I specify Elance simply because that's what I experience in. Sure, there are jobs that pay nothing and expect a lot of work. Skip over those. Those people aren't looking for quality writers, they're hoping to get something for nothing. Not worth your time to stress about them. However, if a job sounds interesting and relevant to you, apply with what you'd be willing to do the work for anyway. You may be surprised and get the job at the higher rate... or you may not. But it never hurts to try, right? It costs nothing to apply. 

There are decent clients on Elance however. Yes, you need samples. And yes, having a blog helps. But one other way to nab jobs is to build up your reputation on the site. That means, find some small projects that pay $20-30 or so and apply for those. In my case, I wrote a Christian romance short story (I'm not Christian nor am I a romance writer, I write horror, but hey, I did it). It paid $30. Easy peasy. I also worked on another project writing content for an app, and because of how quick it was for me to do, it came out to about $60 an hour in the end.

Now, I get invited to several jobs a day. Some are terrible, while others are actually really, really good.

And I've been doing this full-time since January. That's it.

But writing job boards aren't the only way to find work either.  I found one regular writing job by searching indeed.com for “writing jobs”. Sounds so simple, doesn't it? I was bored and figured nothing would turn up... but not only did I find the job, I got hired at a very decent rate. I get paid more than double what I was making on the celebrity gossip site per article now. And from here, I'm applying to more jobs, some of them full-time, some of them not. I've decided my goal is to be an editor one day, or perhaps just find a full-time writing gig. The jobs are out there... they require experience, sure... but that's what I'm doing right now. Building up the experience, bit by bit, while paying my bills.

Some tips I've learned from my experiences...

1) If a job says they'll test you out at a lower rate and then raise it to something really, really good? Likely they won't hire you back. How do I know? Experience. Some of them don't even bother to leave positive feedback.

2) With Elance, it helps to have a paid account. It's $10 a month, but you can see what others are bidding so you can price yourself accordingly on the jobs you really want, and you get more connects per month to apply for more jobs and to also provide another benefit that I'll mention next.

3) If it's a job you really want, use the extra connects to sponsor your post. It will be placed on top (only four proposals are placed on top). The good clients get a ton of proposals, so make yours stand out by being on top. Also, it shows you're really serious about the gig too. I find I'm more likely to get a job if I sponsor my proposal. And with 120 connects, I can afford the 4 connects it takes to do so.

4) Get better at writing FAST. Currently, I've been known to write 10,000-12,000 words in a day when I need to (and for me, it's about a 5-6 hour day with breaks now). The more you can write, the more money you can bring in.

5) Be down with ghostwriting. Sure, it sucks to write fiction and not have the world know it's yours... but I tend to get paid more for my fiction by ghostwriting than I do if I publish, at least for now as an unknown. I actually make more money writing fiction than nonfiction, and even when I have to write a genre that isn't my favorite, I still have a ton of fun. And I get paid for it, so double yay.

6) Don't assume that just because you're not an expert on something, you can't write about it. That's what research is for. I couldn't care less about celebrity gossip, and I avoid reading about the spoiled, pampered elite as much as possible because their antics annoy me... but when it came down to getting paid for it... I did what I had to do and still enjoyed it over  anything else I could be doing at the time.

Now here are the pitfalls I've personally experienced.

1) Procrastination is always on the horizon. You know you can write fast, you have all the time in the world, so why not play some Candy Crush, just for a few minutes. Oh, and you forgot to send an e-mail to so and so, that'll only take a minute. Gosh, I'm so tired, my brain can't possibly write... It might be time to nap. Napping on the job is too easy when you're freelancing, trust me. This can lead to so many problems... If your life is anything like mine, unexpected issues always crop up. I get sick. I have guests who show up at the last minute. You run over a screwdriver on a quick trip to the grocery store and end up losing an entire day of writing the day before a deadline. You name it, it can (and does happen). I speak from personal experience.

2) It's unstable. One month, I rake in the dough. I get several high paying jobs and it feels too easy. The next month? Nothing. It's scary when you live month-to-month and don't have a guaranteed paycheck which is why I have a part-time job at a bookstore... just in case. I live in Southern California where my rent is ridiculously high, so I take guaranteed money where I can get it. It wouldn't hurt to work part-time while trying to get off the ground.

But it can be possible to make a living off it. Sure, you don't always get to write what you want to write (err like romance for me, but I've come to enjoy it), but there's something about being paid, and being paid well, for your writing that satisfies me like no other. It's not for everyone, and if you're the type of writer who needs to be inspired to write, well... it's probably not for you. You can't wait to be inspired or work through writer's block when you have a deadline on the line. But for me, I've learned that there's no such thing as writer's block... it's just needing to push myself to sit down and write. What better motivator than a deadline and a client willing to pay you for your work?

And besides, it was either that or find some lousy desk job that made me hate my life day in and day out again like I had before... One where I dreaded going into work everyday. I was chronically depressed, always wishing I had more time to write or at least do something I enjoyed. I have that now. Sure, there are pitfalls like the pay being unstable, but after being fired from a secure job, and then watching my boyfriend get fired from a job he had for 13 years (neither of us were given a reason), I've come to realize that nothing is stable in life... Not even the job we've dedicated our lives to.

And personally speaking, given the choice between a mind-numbing job staring at spreadsheets all day, I'd rather write.

If this sounds like you, it I say go for it. If you can write on command, write content that isn't always your cup-of-tea, then go for it. Perhaps start out small and keep your day job if you want to, but look into sites that are hiring for content writers. Maybe they aren't huge like HuffPo, but many sites do pay for content... and they pay fairly well too.

Trust me when I say it can be done. 

 

Journalism Isn't Dead...It's a Zombie.

My mom just sent me an email that listed journalism as one of the worst three jobs. Ever. Like, there's no quantifier in there. Just one of the worst three jobs. This is by Daily Briefing, who uses Bureau of Labor statistics and runs them through a snazzy algorithm, weighing stuff like satisfaction, health risk, stress levels, etc.

You know what the other two worst jobs are, guys?

Enlisted military and lumberjacks.

"One of these things is not like the other...one of these things just doesn't belong..."

But, seriously, let's take a look at those two. I mean, it's pretty obvious that one might be dissatisfied in these jobs because they're never home with their loved ones, or because it's really loud and strenuous all the time, and most likely because you make one mistake and you've lost a limb. Like a literal piece of your body. There are legitimate reasons these jobs are considered the worst.

How is journalism even remotely comparable to jobs where if you sneeze you could lose an arm?

First off, I'm absolutely sure the algorithm they used vastly over-accounted for the danger in a journalist's job. Are there reporters who have to put their lives on the line daily to get a story out? Yes. And in those cases, the danger is (or at least can be) as great as a combatant or a lumberjack.

But let's be real. That is not like 99 percent of journalists. For every one person risking their hide for a story, there are 200 more back at home, typing it up, making it pretty, calling "officials" etc. And it's actually that 99 percent that puts journalism on this list.

In no other line of work is the expectation of what you will be doing so very far from what you will actually be doing.

Think about the people who "become journalists." They're young, creative, idealistic, adventurous kids who get into this racket to be young, creative, idealistic and adventurous. And they're sold a false bag of goods.

People go into journalism to be this:

Bernstein and Woodward as dramatized by Hoffman and Redford.

And this:

Fictional hero of journalists everywhere.

I mean, we go in to find the good stuff on the bad guys, give no fucks, write it up with no shit from management because it's an important story and come and go as we please, fighting the good fight. We want to meet witnesses in bars, and buy coffee for corrupt police officers. We want to hide in the back of a truck bed, scribbling notes as a stolen bunch of paintings whizzes out of state. We want to find the exciting shit and grab on for the ride, stopping only when it's freaking over to type our fingers to the bone while swigging freaking beer and talking to our best friends about the coolest shit ever that just freaking happened, oh my God. And we want to tell the truth and change the world. We want to expose the faults and get them fixed. And we want to do it our way, on our time, with no used-up authority figure telling us we have to "tone it down" or we can't use a fantastic quote because "the police/government/our own corporation won't like it."

Nah, dude. We journalists. We gettin' this shit done.

Sure, your Jskool prof tells you in his steely, tired voice that you'll be eating bologna sandwiches for the rest of your life, and your ear will be attached to the phone, and you'll never, EVER, get paid any money. But do you listen?

NO!

You are a journalist. No negative nelly is going to stop you in your unquenchable thirst for justice and truth! Plus, you are a kid. You're convinced that old prof just 'did it wrong.' You'll do it right.

Womp womp womp.

So, unsurprisinglly, after your 3000th stupid town meeting and between your 500th and your 800th politely worded obituary, it's no wonder you lose your way. Journalists have to pay dues, apparently. (Which is dumb, btw). And those dues pretty much never end these days. There is no exciting story to be covered and if there ever were one, the corporations in control of the newsrooms would sap the life out of it as quickly as they sapped the life out of your immediate supervisor.

I mean, let's not forget about that guy, right? So, not only do you drag your ass to work every day to phone the town council president to talk about petunia growth in your town square while trying not to stab out your own eyeballs with the pencil you keep for taking very quick, important notes (that you've never even had to use one time), you also have to do that for eight hours straight with that guy staring right at you, waves of animosity just rolling off him.

Don't get me wrong. There are a million awesome people in journalism. They're tired, and broken, and disappointed, and sad (for the most part), but awesome. Then there are these guys. These guys who are just sure that your mere existence is a threat to them. You're going to take their scoop (on what, dude? The pony parade coming to town? Because that's all your corporate head lets you report anyway), or their validation (he really needed that 'you should have been nominated for a webby' comment, okay?), or worst of all, they think you'll take their job.

That's a legit concern, by the way, and it rounds out our ways in which journalism is the worst of the worst of jobs. There is no job security at all. Like AT ALL. Take news directors in broadcast, for example. On average, they last 18 months. These are the top dogs, people. Any further up the line and you're corporate. ON AVERAGE, they last 18 months. Fuck me typing if a producer or reporter is going to last that long unless they become the perfect yesman.

Journalist. Pusher of truth. The perfect yesman.

"One of these things is not like the other...one of these things just doesn't belong..."

So, yeah, what this messed-up recipe yields is a whole lot of burned out, bitter, poor, automatons, saying yes to every stupid-assed decision and every ethically questionable agenda that comes their way for fear of losing the job they do for PENNIES, because they're supposedly in it for the love of it.

We say in mass comm grad school that journalism is dead, a lot. We're talking, of course, about the outmoded newspaper model. But it's so much more than that. And we're not even going to go into the blatant sexism and bullshit that goes on. Or how about how everyone not only hates us, but also thinks they can do our job. Like, everyone thinks they can just write. It is infuriating, no? That's another couple of posts.

The internet didn't kill journalism. It's been dead for a long time. Journalism is a zombie.

But!

There is hope.

One of you suckers out there in internet-land is going to come up with a new model that turns everything completely on its head because in internet-land, we are no longer beholden to hours, and yeses, and phone calls to petty officials and bosses, and bullshit. Someone out there is going to break this shit. And they're going to put up something else. And I will be on that bandwagon.

Because I'm in journalism to be Fletch, dammit.

And no amount of firing me, telling me I'm a piece of shit, or making me rewrite a 20-second voice over about a car crash with no injuries that happened three days ago is going to stop me. And I know I'm not alone.

So, let's do this, journalists. Let's JOURNALISM.

Down in a Hole - Guest Post

Today Sarah from A Place That Does Not Exist was kind enough to share some really important and personal thoughts in a post about something millions struggle through each day. Something that for some, writing can help with.

 ...

Depression sucks.

I could try all day to explain why, and I'd never do it half as well as Allie Brosh already has. So all I'm only going to say a little bit about the "why" part today. I recommend clicking here to read Allie's explanation, if you're one of the few who hasn't seen it already.

The biggest why, for me, is the isolation. There's a reason my work in progress is set in a desert. At its core, it's an exploration of what my therapist loves to call my "trauma" issues (doesn't that sound so dramatic?), and it gets a little ugly in places. It's going to be a series, if I ever quit rewriting the first book to death, and somewhere in there I expect there will be redemption and hope.

In real life, those things exist--even with depression.

The problem is, it's hard to believe in them when you're already dead inside. If you're lucky enough to have people who care about you (or unlucky enough to have people who just want things from you), you'll hear a whole lot about hope. How if you have enough of it for long enough, you'll pull through, and probably all the reasons you should have it.

Ever repeat a word so many times it lost all meaning and melted into random babble? That was "hope" for me, after a while.

I grew up privileged, and I was raised to believe you had to work to stay that way. Talking about your problems was whining and only results mattered. So I worked hard for what I wanted and mostly got it, except I guess a lot of it wasn't what I really wanted. I didn't know what I really wanted, and complaining about what I had felt idiotic. Nice house, nice husband. A good salary and a beautiful son. I was counting my blessings and coming up short.

People told me to buck up and fake it 'til I made it, and it didn't help. I'd been telling myself to do those same things for far too long, and I didn't know why I couldn't anymore. Explaining it to someone else would've been too much effort, anyway.

It was much easier to be alone. Scratch that--it was much easier to create a world where I wasn't. A world populated by people as screwed up as I was. I didn't do it intentionally, but its people spoke to me and wouldn't shut up until I wrote them into existence. And thus, Cliffton was born, and apart from my one-year-old son who couldn't talk enough to get bootstrappy, it was all I cared about.

Eventually, it was my way out of the dark. Sort of.

It was the only way I could feel, but it didn't feel good. It was raw and scary far too real. My characters were, too, in my head, and hurting them hurt me. I wondered constantly what kind of person would give life (even fictional life) only to destroy it, but I couldn't stop, because the stories needed to be written.

I wrote the first draft of my book in about three months. During that time, a lot of things happened in my "real" life (the one that wasn't inside my head), and I decided to go to therapy. If it weren't for my son and my characters, I don't think I would have. I'd probably still be alive right now, but I'd also probably still be stuck in the same hole I was then.

Digging my way out has been hard, but it's been worth it. There's only one problem. Sometimes I miss that hole, and my desperation to claw my way out of it. That desperation fueled my writing, and now that it's gone? It's not that I can't write anymore. My writing's been better since I've been better... when I can make myself do it. But I don't need it to survive now, or at least it doesn't feel like I do. You need oxygen to live, but you don't notice that in any given moment unless you're actively suffocating.

For every step I take toward rejoining the "real" world, for every commitment I make out there, that other world slips away a little more. It's still right here, and so are the people in it--revealing themselves to me in new ways all the time. But stepping out of my reality and into theirs? That gets harder every day, and I hate it.

My writing process used to go like this. I sat down in my chair, put on some music, and got sucked in. Whoosh. At my peak, I was churning out a chapter every day or two--even though they were crappy first-draft chapters. Now, I produce a chapter a week, and that's if I'm really pushing myself, the wind is blowing in the exact right direction, and all the stars are perfectly aligned. I outline and I rewrite and I second-guess.

I'm on antidepressants now, and my therapist warned me that they might affect the way I connected with my characters. She said it was most likely something I could work through in the long run, but I'd have to re-learn how to do it. I'm trying, and succeeding in some ways. But damn, does it ever suck sometimes.

My book is in first person, from five different characters' POVs (stop laughing). When my depression was at its worst, I could only connect with one of them on a deep and reliable basis--the one I often refer to as [Problem Character]. He'd hijack my brain whenever he felt like it, and at those times, the words would flow effortlessly.

For the non-writers here, let's pretend this is a normal thing. Okay?

This was good for my book, in a way, because he drives a lot of the plot. It was also bad for my book, because when I wanted to hear my other four protagonists, he'd shout over them. Besides that, he's mentally unbalanced and an Unreliable Narrator. He may drive my plot, but it's the other characters' perspectives that make it all make sense.

Since I started the antidepressants, I've developed the ability to hear two of my other mains really well. I'm still working on the other two, but I know I'll get there. [Problem Character] doesn't hijack my brain anymore when I'm in the middle of making cookies or trying to sleep, which is for the best because that got a little scary after a while.

It's just that have to work so hard for all of it now. I get so frustrated that I want to quit. It feels like it'll never get any easier and whatever magic I had before, it's gone now. I've tried everything I can think of to get it back, that perfect certainty that the story I'm writing needs to be told. I've written character sketches, done an outline, taken a break to read lots of other authors' work, forced myself to write every day even if it's awful.

No matter what I do, that drive--that craving--just isn't there anymore. I'm starting to wonder if it's gone for good. If I've already quit, and I haven't admitted it to myself.



And that? That's kind of depressing, isn't it?

 

Blogging about Blogging - Guest Post

Today, I'm very lucky to have a guest post from the illustrious Sarah, who is better at everything than she'll ever give herself credit for. You can find her blog at A Place That Does Not Exist. (See, even her blog name is rad!)

...

I have a problem.  I don’t know how to blog.

Sure, I’ve faithfully kept a LiveJournal account since 2002. Back then, I used to party a lot and sometimes post pictures of my cleavage.  That’s… not really a thing I do anymore. I’ve moved on from the “look at my boobies!” stage.

Kind of.  I did post a picture of my best friend wearing my bra as a hat on LJ just yesterday.

The thing is, LiveJournal provides the illusion of security.  I can make “friends only” posts about the stupid things I used to do in my twenties or the awkwardly-written sex scene someone asked me to beta-read, or even the deep-seated issues I have with my parents—all without the worry that my boss or my second cousin twice removed is going to see them.

With a blog, though, it’s different.  With a blog, you’re putting yourself out there for all the world to see.  I don’t want to talk about my disordered eating or my trauma issues or the crappy things that happened at my old job.  I didn’t even want to type that last sentence. It’s all too private.

That’s not the only problem, either.  It’s all too boring.

What woman in her twenties or thirties hasn’t starved herself before?  And who hasn’t been abused or had a few run-ins with rape culture?

Everyone can relate to experiences like these—but that’s the problem.  Everyone’s already posted about them a million times over, and if I’m going to do it, too, I’d better have something special.  I’d better go deep.  I don’t want to go deep—not in public.

That doesn’t leave me with a lot of options.

Instead, I blog about this book I’m working on. It’s in its second draft and it might be finished someday.  I blog about my characters and how sometimes they’re  more real than I am. I blog about my revision process and the stupid mistakes I make--the way I fix them--the books I read and how they inspire me.

I’ve even developed a tiny following by writing about those things!  But I can’t help but feel I’m holding back.  I write about those things because they’re safe, when I could be offering a piece of myself for all to see.  When I take off my writer hat, I’m stumped.  What is there about me, the regular me, that’s interesting and unique?  What would people want to read about that I’d be willing to share?  Baking?  I used to be good at it—I was kind of known for it.  But I don’t have much time for it now. My kid?  Except that my parenting tips would be really dumb. 95% of my ability to be a good parent revolves around the fact that my son’s in daycare all week and still sleeps 15 hours or so a day on the weekend.  The other 5% is Yo Gabba Gabba. Cooking?  Do I even know how to cook?

Maybe I’m not destined to be a blogger after all.  Or maybe I just need to suck it up and do what I told one of my friends to do yesterday: rip the damn Band-Aid off.  Because who’s really normal inside?

I say I can’t do go too deep because I’m worried about losing my day job.  Paying the bills is kind of important, you know?  But I’ll post some pretty disturbing fiction in places anyone could find—as long as they looked hard enough.  Hell, I might even publish that hot mess someday. So what is it I’m really worried about?  What is it that I’m so afraid of?

I don’t know how to answer that.  Part of me fears retribution from my family, but what can they do to me now?  I’ve cut all contact with them, and they’ve done their best to convince everyone they know that I’m insane. That’s mostly okay with me, because I own my crazy—it’s mine and mine alone. And if that’s too boring, what will I write about then?

___

Who is Sarah?

I'm a person who writes a thing called Cliffton. I have purple hair, a day job as a programmer, and a lovely husband. We have a son who's every bit as stubborn as I am, and a million times more awesome. 

Check her out! aplacethatdoesnotexist.wordpress.com

 

So, You Think You Want to Promote Yourself, Huh?

Over on the writing blog, I'm talking about how to gain more followers who are actually interested in what you are doing and will share your stuff because they like it. These work.

...

Promoting yourself.

It seems like such an easy thing to do. With all these social networking sites, giveaways, support groups, and of course, your own genius, you should have hundreds of followers by next Wednesday if you just work hard enough, right?

Wrong. It has nothing to do with how hard you work. (Okay, a little bit to do with that, meaning, you actually have to post and spend time on your various sites.) And, little known fact, if you actually work too hard, in the wrong ways, you'll actually get yourself banned or suspended from the sites you're trying to grow.

Before we get into specifics, let's get your basic outline ready. (If you don't think you need this...you do. Many, many people forget their original promotion goals as they start down this path.)

So, here's the way to promote yourself, and build your audience organically. Remember, you want them to like you, not be annoyed by your existence.

CLICK FOR THE FIRST FIVE WAYS TO PROMOTE YOURSELF.




 

Bloggers - Tag Your Stuff! A Cautionary Tale

I messed up. Before you read the rest, know that, and then at the end, when you're done reading, come back here and remember that. That, above all else, is the moral of this story.

I messed up.

Have you seen this yet?

If you haven't, and you run in mommy circles, you probably will.

If you have you most likely didn't see it from me.

And it's mine.

I made this card.

Now, you'll notice in the version I have here, I put my blog name at the bottom. It's not on the Facebook version, and here's a little tale to convince you why your name should be on everything you do.

Most little bloggers (like me, and maybe like you?) work pretty hard to increase their following, to get noticed, to have people start paying attention. In order to do that, I started, just in the last month or so, making ecards of some of my personal status updates over the past year. (Yes, that was a status update of mine.) You'll see a bunch more on my page that did okay. None of them have my branding on them.

None of them have my branding on them because when you upload an image you've made onto your FB page, anyone who shares that image gets your link right on top.

YAY!

You can imagine my joy when this card literally took off. I have more than 1,300 shares! That's huge for me. Like major.

So, I'm derping along, happy as can be that finally I've written something the internet thinks is funny. And I get a message from a friend on my wall.

Hey there! Joella from Fine and Fair says. You might want to brand those photos you're making, so when they go viral, you get the credit.

And I think, aww, Joella! That's a good idea, but 700 shares (that's where it was at the time), is hardly viral. It's just a big deal to me. I'm sure it's fine.

No. Wrong. There was a purpose to her message.

Many people, instead of sharing, downloaded the picture then re-uploaded the picture to their page. Meaning my work is now divorced from me. Meaning my work now goes out under her link. And even though she says right up top that the work isn't hers, that it was shared with her, the millions (yes, more than a million people) seeing the card with her link on top don't know it's my picture, don't know it's my joke. It links back to her, and they go.

They are bigger operations than me (by far) to begin with, so as was likely to happen, it took off much faster on her page than on mine. It is, in fact, outstripping me by ten times.

I'm taking the numbers out because from the time I wrote this post originally until now, the numbers are astronomical, and they have nothing at all to do with the original page I was talking about.

I am so small, I literally had no idea what viral really meant. Now I do. Now it's viral. Really viral.

Someone else makes a really good point about Someecards and their terms of service. Which says that all of this stuff is basically not done. Which I can only say I didn't know because I made these cards more than a month ago, and clearly didn't pay attention. Again, my fault. I may have to go make some right there, particularly if I am wrong.

The safest thing to do, if you are a blogger and trying to do this is to totally make your own meme. Then put your name on it.

Like my Peep meme. That's my peep, my counter top, my everything.

That's what you have to do.

Bloggers don't trample each other because they think others don't count. They literally don't see the small guys because we are small. Most of them found the card from another source, not my page, anyway, and shared from there. They don't see you at all. You have to make yourself seen.

I think this happens a lot.

I never put my name on it. Because I didn't have the confidence to do so. And this viral-thing isn't ever meant to hurt anyone. People share and upload and download, that's just what they do.

The point here being:

1) If you're a big guy, resist the right-click save. You don't know who you are stepping on. Sometimes they'll come find you and be a royal PIA like me, and other times, you'll just profit from their hard work. Share. Use the share button. That's what it's for.

2) If you're a little guy (or a big guy), for God's sake, put your name on your stuff. Put Your Name On Your Stuff.

Put your name on your stuff.

All of it. Any crappy, stupid idea that pops into your head that you're going to share on the internet. If it fails, no one will see it anyway, so they won't know it's stupid, and if it succeeds, you are covered.

For me, it was gut-wrenching because I put stuff up I want shared every day, and this was the first thing the internet ever liked. And I didn't get the credit for it. So, yeah, I'm a whiny mess. (Although this post is the last thing you'll see about it from me. I'm cutting myself off. My poor friends have listened to enough of it.)

I messed up. Don't do the same. Brand your work.



 

The End of the Spammers?

I've posted before about the hilarious spam messages I receive on this blog.

Gems like:

"I think this is one of the such a lot important information for me.
And i'm satisfied reading your article. However wanna remark on few general things, The website taste is great, the articles is in reality great : D. Just right job, cheers
My web page: how to get rid of acne scars "

"That is really attention-grabbing, You are a very 
skilled blogger. I've joined your feed and sit up for seeking more of your excellent post. Additionally, I have shared your web site in my social networks
Also visit my web page ... how to get your Ex back "

and

"Somebody essentially lend a hand to make seriously articles I 
would state. This is the first time I frequented your web 
page and thus far? I surprised with the research you made to create this actual put up amazing.

Excellent activity!
My webpage ; buy youtube views"

keep coming.

I laugh.

Now, I had been allowing these spam comments for two reasons.

1) Captcha is annoying.

2) Some of these commenters are real people making, like, three pennies per comment or something. And who am I to deny them their income? They're only looking ridiculous on older posts anyway.

But then I got a comment that said something along the lines of this:

"Blah blah ridiculous, nonsensical blather. Does your site have a spam problem? View my webpage."

And I was like, well, it didn't until you drew it to my attention. Now, I'm thinking, jeez, if the spammers are asking if I've got a spam problem, it's probably time to bite the bullet and rid myself of these leeches.

(No offense, leeches.)

Even without that snarky spam comment, the number of links left on old blog entries is getting up to a half dozen a day.

This is everyone's problem. Moderation, yo. When you descend upon something so surely and with no reprieve, you're going to be stopped where otherwise, had you exercised just a little judgement, held back just a tad, you'd be left alone to attempt to entice people with your stupid links.

Unfortunately for you, I'll now be taking care of my "spam problem."

Thanks for bringing it to my attention, bots.

But before I do, here are a few more gems for you all:

"When someone writes an article he/she retains the image of a user in his/her brain that how a user can be 
aware of it. Therefore that's why this article is perfect. Thanks!
Here is my web-site :: buy Youtube views " 

(This one is extra good because it's on a post about shepherd's pie. Hah.)

"What's up, every time i used to check weblog posts here early in the daylight, for the reason that i like to gain knowledge of more and more.
my web site :: clean my pc "

Okay, I have to stop copy and pasting these before I change my mind about strengthening my security.

They're so hilarious; I really quite like them.


 

Liebster Blog Award

Today, I am the lucky recipient of the Liebster Blog Award from my friend Liz over at Life in Pint-Sized Form!

I highly recommend this blog! It's different because it's a nanny blog, not a mommy blog. The perspective is fresh and funny.

I'm to say 11 things about myself and gift the award to someone else. So here goes:

1) I'm excited that my kids are starting preschool next week. My house is a wreck, and with them hardly napping anymore, I just can't deep clean it like I need to. I think the socialization will be good for them, too. I think they're definitely ready this year. And I love the school we picked.

2) I'm not going to the gym this week. I took the girls back to the gym daycare after my sitter left town and they got sick immediately. They're almost better, but this is day eight of cold now. So, no gym until I find a new sitter. (I'm including this because it's lolworthy that I think they're not going to be sick all the time when they start school anyway.)

3) I'm an "author" now, in that I have a published novel and another coming out in September. I have a third in edits as we speak.

4) I don't let my kids play with my computer or my phone.

5) I'm reading 1-2-3 Magic, and even though my friend told me not to start using the techniques until I'd read the whole book, I have to. It will take me all year to read it. I get very little time to read things that aren't for work. It seems to be doing well so far, even if I'm doing it half wrong.

6) I think I'm going to go back to school for a master's degree in Mass Communications Health / Science.

7) I hate soda.

8) I have only three actual friends down here.

9) Today is my wedding anniversary!

10) My favorite book of all time is Jane Eyre.

11) I can eat an entire 5 lb. bag of candy in three days...so I try not to do that.


...

I would like to pass this award on to my friend Jackie, author of Accidentally Mommy. She's a talented writer and an amazing human being!



 

Paid Link Foolishness

After you've had a blog for a while, people start to find you. And they leave comments. Awesome comments like:

"This book is a godsend to women everywhere. Sometimes, getting a liposuction Orange County for health reasons is a good idea, though."

"I thought dental x-ray are bad for kids, but thanks for sharing anyway. Now that I have the idea, I'll bring my son to the nearest cosmetic dentist Sydney clinic to see how healthy his teeth are."

Because a book about eating well works well with a link for liposuction, and kids obviously need cosmetic dental work. What?

If you've got a minute and would like a laugh, check out the comments on What I Learned at the Pediatric Dentist.

Spammers are eating that post up.

Now, I don't take them down because I don't particularly care. I've seen the employers that contract this kind of work out for pennies. If someone wants to make ten cents by putting a useless link in the comment section of my blog, who am I to withhold that dime from them? (Assuming the link has to stay up for them to be paid. I don't know anything about this.)

It's not like anyone is going to click on them, or that they take away from any of the content (if you can call stories about my kids and the occasional rant at a news article content) here.

I'll leave you with one of my particular favorites.

"She's been through a messy room but it never fails her to be happy. This pictures should be printed and framed on the wall.
digital cameras"

It almost makes sense. Almost.

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If you like this blog, please vote for it here at Babble's Top 100 Blogs list. It would mean the world to me. 

Making a Beginner Blog Successful - Guest Post

Hello, Tales of an Unlikely Mother readers! I’m Laura, and I blog over at Between the Lines. Darlena contacted me a few weeks ago about guest posting. She asked me to blog about how to make a blog successful, and while some people prefer to take notes and really think about something such as this topic before talking about it, I have decided I’m going to wing it.

Yep. I’m going to wing it.

I have been blogging since I was young. When I say young, I mean about 12 years old. I blogged over at LiveJournal, where I had a large group of friends, and I quickly became a huge fan of this posting-things-publicly-and-getting-responses thing. How fun is it to vent, and get feedback from people? Some people don’t care about that stuff. Me, I enjoy it.

I like to share my life, which is why I have been doing this for about 13 years. Some simple math will show my current age. :) I decided to leave LiveJournal in 2008, and I started a blog at Blogger. My blog was called Life of an Army Wife at the time. I was a newlywed, and my husband had just deployed to Iraq. I was alone in our two-bedroom apartment, just me and our little Maltese-Bichon pup, Samson, and I needed a public outlet.

I began to blog there, and my numbers slowly (and I do mean slowly) crept up. 1…4…5…10…19…22…29. I didn’t really mind. That number honestly didn’t mean much to me. I was just happy to be sharing my life publicly, and keeping my husband in the know while overseas.

Once my reader count got higher, I decided to register a domain name, but when I did that, I decided to go ahead and change my whole blog around. I became Between the Lines, and I registered betweenthelinesblog.net. I had over 100 readers at that time.

Today I have over 300 readers. No matter what your reader number is, if you’re striving to get more of them, today I’m here to share my tips on doing that.

1.    Guest blog. Yep, just like this. You can either wait for someone to ask you to guest blog – which could be a long time – or you can offer. Ask to guest blog on someone else’s blog. Ask THEM to guest blog on YOUR blog. Both of these methods bring readers to your blog.

2.    Comment! Don’t just sit behind your computer screen and lurk. No one likes a lurker. Show your face. Comment on peoples’ blogs because not only will that blogger click to see what you’re all about, but THEIR readers will, too! This is a HUGE way to get people to notice your blog. You don’t have to plug your blog in the comment. Just say hi, comment on whatever they posted...just poke your head out and say hello.

3.    Join networks. There are all kinds of blogging communities out there to join. They are helpful. Use them!

4.    Tell people about your blog. That’s easy, right?

5.    Join Twitter! Some people think Twitter is silly and pointless, but for bloggers, it can be a great way to make friends and reach people! I love it for that purpose.

6.    Post regularly. People like to keep up with you, so, keep everyone updated. By regularly, I’m talking a few times a week. To start out, it doesn’t have to be every single day – though that would be nice – but a few times a week is good.

7.    Share. I mean…more than just words all the time. People like visuals. Pictures. Graphics. Recipes. That cool craft you just made from Pinterest.

8.    Join link-ups! There are a lot of weekly link-ups out there. Join one…or two…or ten. Whether it’s a photo challenge or a simple “Top Ten Tuesday” meme where you talk about your top ten favorite things, join them! By doing so, you’ll gain readers who saw your link on the host’s website.

Be patient with blogging. Be regular. Share. Join. Comment.

If you ARE a newer blogger, and you’re looking for a layout to catch peoples’ eyes, I would love to help you out! I just started offering blog designs for a very reasonable price. November is also the first month I’m taking sponsors. What’s a sponsor, you ask? For a small monthly fee, I’ll place your blog’s ad (or your business, or whatever) on my sidebar. Many other blogs do this, too, so, check them out. The entire month, it will remain there, and any visitors to my blog will see it. If it catches their eye, you may have a new reader or two…or more.

I hope these free (okay, and even the one that costs a little money, if you’re interested in going that route) tips will be useful to you in becoming a successful blogger!

Have a happy Wednesday, and I hope to see you around my neck of the woods some time! Stop over and say hi. :)

-Laura

Thirty One Bags - WINNER!

I have a blog I'm sure you'll all enjoy about my failure as a parent, but for today, let's just pick a winner for the Thirty One Tote Bag, shall we?

I don't know how to do screen shots, so you'll just have to trust me when I tell you that the winner is...

Number 38.

Randi at A Modern Day Fairy Tale

If you didn't win, but you'd like the discount and other available deals, go ahead and visit Lorraine at Thirty One Gifts. She'll help you out!

Thank you all for playing, and I hope to do more things like this soon!

Blog on Fire

Jo over at Bum Bum Germs gave me an award this week. The rules are I'm to write seven things about myself, and then give the award to five other bloggers. Thanks, Jo!

So, here goes:

1) I always underestimate the time a task will take me. In fact, just now I spent NINETY MINUTES cleaning out my upper cabinets. I'd sectioned an hour for BOTH the upper and the lower cabinets. Fail.

2) I bite my nails. My mother says I've been biting them since before the babies' age. So far, they don't bite their nails. YAY FOREVER. Last week I'd been able to let my nails grow for two or maybe even three weeks. The nails hadn't even reached the end of my fingers at that point. Gross. I'd really like to pain my nails, too. Anyone have any suggestions?

3) I have no idea what my future looks like. The only thing I know about it is that my family will be there. That's all I need to know, to be honest.

4) Autumn is my favorite season. I particularly miss Connecticut at this time of year. Quite sharply actually. The hoodies, the flannels, the boots, the jackets, the pumpkin spice lattes, the leaves -- they all fill me with hope and joy for some reason. Florida may not have changing vibrant leaves, but it does have amazing autumn sunsets.

5) I ate sushi and went to a three-hour movie six hours before I gave birth. (In my defense, they were early. In defense of the sushi...whatever, I do what I want. Oops.)

6) On the rare occasions I sing karaoke, I'll usually sing You Give Love a Bad Name by Bon Jovi.

7) Halloween is my favorite holiday, but I still don't know what to dress the girls as. The possibilities...

Now, to give this award to 5 blogs that are awesome:

- Aias dot ca; This blog is topnotch. Hilarious, cute, wonderful, clever and smart.
- Crazy About My Baybah; An intimate peek into family life, full of love, happiness and a dash of sarcasm here and there.
- Heart Shaped Leaves; A crafty, cooky blog, but with the event of a new baby in the mix, lots of squishy newborn pictures!
- The Woman Formerly Known as Beautiful; a blog right up my alley, plus she just outstripped me on Babble's list, so you know she's got to be good!
- Diaries of a Grumpy Grateful Mom; honest, genuine, down and dirty and yet full of light, this blog will make you laugh.


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If you like this blog, please vote on Babble.com. Tales of an Unlikely Mother is number 17, just scroll down and click on the thumbs up! Thank you so, so much.

Anniversaries Abound

This is a big week for me. The babies turned three on the 10th.

These days, when they're not playing games like "chef"

they're "helping" me clean or do laundry.

And they can often be found perfecting their photography skills by capturing, minute by minute, our captivating home life. Hah.

Photo by Dulce

It's hard to believe that these little cherubs have grown up so much already.

Yesterday was another anniversary. My husband's and mine.  Looking at old videos of the babies last night, I was reminded of how far we've come, how comfortable and lucky we are, and how much in love I am. I couldn't have dreamed up a better life.

And for an entirely different sort of anniversary...the blog turned a year old yesterday. What started out as an angry rant turned into a fun and rewarding project that's kept me busy all year long.  Thank you all for helping and reading.


___

If you like this blog, please vote on Babble.com. Tales of an Unlikely Mother is number 17, just scroll down and click on the thumbs up! Thank you so, so much.

Versatile Award

Last week, I was honored to find that Life Inspired by the Wee Man had given me the Versatile Blogger Award.  Thank you! I'm so flattered.

The rules are, share seven things about yourself and give the award to seven bloggers you admire.

RULE #1: Share 7 things about yourself

#1) My favorite city is Boston.  I love the look of the older buildings mixed perfectly with the newer construction.  I love that it's ALWAYS under construction. I love Kenmore Square in particular. The chocolate shop on the bottom floor of that hotel, the Turkish pizza joint that sells yogurt, Nuggets...I love that you can just walk over the bridge and you're at Fenway.  I love the hole-in-the-wall sushi joint where you order your rolls with a pencil and paper.  I love the T, especially the green line.  Two hops and a jump and you're at Quincy Market (yes, you have to switch to the red first), or Copley, or the pier (if you switch to the blue).  There is no city in the world that beats Boston for me.

#2) I hate the phone.  I hate dialing it, I hate hearing it ring, I hate answering it, and I hate having to have a conversation with whoever is on the other end.  I just can't get into the phone.  Typing is so much easier and efficient.

#3) I was declared the worst employee ever at my first job at a small pizza drive in.  I was 15 and going through a growth spurt.  I was always starving.  I was found hiding pizza slices under newspapers and behind the milkshake machine so that I could take a bite here and there between customers.  My boss was unamused.

#4) My favorite food is Cap'n Crunch.

#5) My closest neighbors growing up were an old couple who had been married for 60 years.  The man was good friends with the chemist who came up with toothpaste.

#6) I have more than 50 first cousins, but my babies are the only twins in the family.

#7) I am the oldest of three.  My younger brother is the director of a specialized school system that tutors special needs kids.  My sister will soon complete her doctorate in biomedical engineering.  Why, yes, I feel underachieving. Why do you ask?

RULE #2: Bestow this award upon 7 deserving bloggers.

I have been loving these blogs lately:

City Mouse in a Country House - delectable pictures and stories of a life I'd want to live.
Farren Square - honest, from-the-heart blogging about life, parenting and self.
Teaching Ain't For Heroes - a rare inside look at the state of school systems from the trenches.
Feminist Mom in Montreal - blogging with spirit and grace about the questions that plague the best of us.
Jansen Family Adventures - if you've got babies younger than toddlers, you'll appreciate this one.
The Crafting Hobbit - she's craftier than I am, with lots of great ideas leading to cute projects.
No Monsters in my Bed - she likes Alice Munro, cheap wine and sleeping in...and she's not me!

If you are looking for new reads, check these blogs out!  They are truly fantastic!

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If you enjoy this blog, please vote for Tales of an Unlikely Mother on Babble.com. We're number 15, just scroll down and click on the thumbs up

Day in the Life

Do you DITL?  Maybe you should!  DITL, or Day in the Life, is a project that documents a small slice of life in a big way.  On a given day, you take pictures - lots of pictures - of your day.  You photograph everything you think of that would be indicative of that day.  Then you post the pictures, along with a bunch of other people, and everyone gets a peek into the world of others.  Everyone knows how different or similar life was for other people in, say, mid-February, 2011.

Now that I've explained it a bit, I'd love for you to DITL with me!  It's easy and fun to do, and so many times people make lifelong friends out of it.

Here's how you do it:

1) Any time from now until February 21st, pick a day and take pictures of it.

2) Post 5 to 15 of those pictures online in order of your daily events anywhere you'd like.  You could post them to your own blog, to your Facebook, to your Photobucket or Flickr in a separate folder.  You could post them to your Livejournal or to your Circle of Moms page.  You can post it anywhere you want more traffic - just make sure the link is public.

3) Send me the link to your post.  It would be most convenient if you left it in a comment here, but if you've got other means to reach me, you can use those venues, too.

4) On February 21st, I will post a DITL, and I will post all the links I've received.  This way, people stopping by can hop from day to day to day to day, and really get a sense of life everywhere this next week, as lived by regular people.

5) Please include at least a first name and a state (or country or province if you aren't in the U.S.), so people have at least a slight idea of what they're looking at.

6) You do not have to be a parent.  I would love to see lives from every corner represented here.  I'm looking to make this as big and diverse as possible.

7) Please pass this around everywhere and anywhere you think people would be interested!  I think a lot of people will have a lot of fun, and I'm super excited!  So, tell your facebook, or your journal, or your blog readers.  Maybe someone you know or someone they know have been dying to try this,
 and you never knew it!

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Don't forget to vote for Tales of an Unlikely Mother if you like it.  We're number 15, just scroll down and click on the thumbs up!  It's quick and easy to do!

Playing on Facebook Can Get You a Job

Playing on Facebook can get you a job - I'm not talking about Farmville, though I'm sure there must be something for which those skills can be used.  While Facebook is thought of by many as a way to pass the time, the social network has broad business applications if you use it right.  And it's only one of many networking, aggregating, blogging and mini-blogging sites out there, all of which can be used to pad your resume.

My young cousin is taking a college course entitled "Digital Literacies and Social Media."  After I stopped laughing (not at you, Margaret, and not at your class, but at how very old I am in my young years - when I was in school the height of technology was using an old Dreamweaver prototype to insert annoying music that played automatically on your own web page), I realized how mainstream social media is becoming in the business world.  It's been a part of our personal lives for years now, but corporations and businesses have a lot of red-tape to cut through before they can implement even the slightest change in ideas.  And the use of social media is no slight change.  It's revolutionizing advertising, marketing and public relations.  It's affecting growth, popularity and income in the business world.  And it's something you can learn while you're staying at home with your kids.  And it's something that makes you marketable, should you ever choose to go back to the working world.
Here is how your blog experience can help you in the workplace:

1) Writing skills - By blogging regularly, you keep your writing skills in tune with today's style.  You know what topics draw in readers.  You know which tones keep their attention.  You have, on your own accord, found an audience and grown it.

2) Networking - By creating a Facebook page and Twitter for your blog, you expand your readership.  You allow for maximum readership at any given time, proving you know not only how to write a compelling piece, but that you also know how to spread the word through grassroot avenues.  As more people join these pages, their friends and associates see links to your stuff, and they in turn may join, creating a spiral of popularity. 

3) Marketing - You may have included giveaways on your blog, or participated in blogshares, or done a guest blog.  All of these will increase your readership and are a form of marketing.  You are reaching out to a foreign audience with your 'product' and enticing them back to your homebase, in the hopes of recruiting new audience members - new buyers, in terms of the business world.  There are blog syndication services, and services allowing you to farm your blog out to local newspapers, aggregates and magazines, all increasing your readership and theirs in a symbiotic relationship.

4) Branding - If your blogging, you've had to come up with an idea, a tagline, and a way to draw readers or viewers in.  I'm a writer, so my blog is all about writing, but there are those who showcase photography, or crafting, and some simply use the blogging platform to forward their original ideas.  For instance, a friend of mine decided to start recycle old crayons.  She created a Facebook page, told a few people about it, and within hours had more than 200 fans.  Her idea was that strong.  As you continue in your projects, you are strengthening your brand, something that businesses are striving to do, themselves, with a lot more notoriety and manpower.  If you can build a brand from scratch, it makes you invaluable. It shows you've got the creativity and gumption to find ways to insert yourself into people's lives.  Branding is important.  Branding is the reason you know The Pioneer Woman's name.

5) Partnerships - if you review products or give them away, you are forging a partnership with the businesses that make those products.  You are forming relationships, connecting the personal lives of your audience to the professional service of that particular business.  You've become not just an end-point, but a link.  Those businesses may eventually offer you advertising, and you will offer them a new audience they'd otherwise be unable to reach.

As businesses struggle to catch up to the personal lives of their consumers, they are looking for people who have honed these skills.  This marks a change from the hireability of just a few years ago.  Where previously, you would have been hardpressed to explain to an employer that while you stayed at home with your children for those few years, you were working on your 'brand,' in today's world, that's exactly what they want to hear.  And it gives you an edge that those who have stayed in the business world do not have.

When I start applying for jobs, it's true, I'll have to tell them that I have not stacked or lined a news show in two years.  And, yes, I'm afraid they'll not take me back.  But I'll be able to show them well-rounded growth in an area that not many people have the opportunity to dip into, in an area that has become very desireable in the eyes of an employer.

I'll be able to tell them that in addition to changing diapers and heating bottles, I wrote pieces that were picked up by such and such publications nationwide.  I'll be able to tell them that without previous name or reputation, I built a following of hundreds of people.  I'll be able to tell them that when I write about breakfast cereals, thousands of people take a peek.  I'll be able to offer them the network I have painstakingly built for myself, and more importantly, I'll be able to offer them the skills I learned while building that network.

This is what they mean when they say mommy bloggers are taking over the world.

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