Adventures in Valentine Baking -- Guest Post

Okay, so the war of hearts and flowers rages on. But come on people, let me let you in on a little something it seems a lot of people don’t seem to get. You’re not the first person in the world to realize Valentine’s Day is a holiday designed to make you spend money.

Get this, Valentine’s Day is a commercialized holiday, just like Halloween and dare I say it, Christmas and Easter? But you don’t hear people yelling about how Halloween candy is only repackaged Easter candy with ghosts and ghouls added in to trick the stupid people into buying it. Or how pre-packaged Halloween costumes are so freaking expensive and ridiculous, and how everyone spends half their paycheck and winds up wearing the same types of costumes as everybody else anyway I love Halloween, I do. But I love Valentine’s Day and April Fools Day and St. Patrick’s Day too.

Valentine’s Day gets all the flack though. Every year, people revel in making ironic Facebook posts to show the world how enlightened they are and how they’re smarter/more secure/cooler/more cynical than the rest of those who enjoy celebrating such a frivolous day. I guess they didn’t get the memo that the rest of the world knows what they are doing, and yet some people choose to partake in it anyway.

Here’s another secret for you... You don’t have to spend loads of cash to enjoy a holiday. It also doesn’t mean you only show your love one day a year. To many it’s just a fun little holiday to brighten life a bit. Does that mean all the girls who get flowers are neglected by their significant others the rest of the year? Maybe. But that’s not always the case, and I would even bet that’s rarely the case.

A holiday is only as commercialized as you let it be. I don’t like the pressure that comes with Valentine’s Day or Christmas or even from birthdays. I like thoughtful gifts, sure... But thoughtful needn’t cost much. It doesn’t have to cost anything.

One of the sweetest things my boyfriend did for me recently was get excited at the grocery store when he saw they had tiny watermelons. Why? Because he knows I love watermelon. Simple concept really, but it meant the world to me to see him that excited to make me happy.

And to me, that’s what every day is about. Valentine’s Day just happens to have a theme to it which delights the inner child in me every time.

I love to bake, and I think I’m pretty decent at it too. I’m usually a bake-everything-from-scratch type of girl, even making my own homemade frosting. But I have lowered myself to cake mixes when my boyfriend told me he loves Funfetti cakes with specific packaged icing. So on his birthdays, I throw out my from-scratch baking ideas, hold my nose and bake the cake he wants most. Why? Because it holds special meaning for him and it makes him happy.

See a theme here? I like making him happy, and he likes making me happy. I assume most couples have that same mentality. If you don’t, well then I’m sorry. I personally think life is too short to spend it unhappy , but to each their own. What happiness entails for each person is obviously different, and discovering the little things that make a person's face light up with joy is part of the fun in a relationship.

Moving on, let's get back to what makes my sweetie happy. Besides Funfetti cake, there's one other food that makes his little heart explode from happiness without fail. Cherries. The boy absolutely loves anything cherry... Cherry soda, cherry candy, you name it and he loves it. He gets an adorable smile on his face whenever he talks about his love for cherries even, it's enough to make my own heart explode from the cuteness.

Last year, I bucked traditional gender roles because I know he’s a modern man who could handle it. I sent him chocolate covered cherries at work and he loved it. I patted myself on the back for that one, I still do.

I wasn't sure if I could top it this year because to put it bluntly, I’m unemployed and broke. I decided to avoid all traditional and overpriced Valentine’s Day gifts for something homemade and from the heart. I set out on a mission to find something cute, fun and delicious for his Valentine’s Day gift. I Googled recipes for sweet treats and then I had a very wise idea... Cherry pies. Who doesn’t love pie after all?

I went all out and decided to try and find heart shaped cherry pies and discovered a site that showed how to make small heart-shaped cherry pie lollipops. I knew that was perfect and needed to look no further. I didn’t even bother to entertain any other ideas. That was mistake number one, I’m sure.

I didn’t question my ability to make them at all.

That was mistake number two. I forgot one tiny little detail. I can bake, sure, but I have the artistic skills of a preschooler. I can’t draw a straight line with a ruler and I have no hand-eye coordination. Any craft I manage to complete looks like something a toddler mashed together with a glue stick and construction paper while eating cheesy poofs and watching cartoons at the same time. In fact, they probably can create something nicer than I ever could with that method. Somehow, I never learned how to be crafty.

None of that crossed my mind. I was determined.. The directions looked so simple, that even I could do it, right? I briefly entertained the idea of creating a small business selling heart shaped pie lollipops because I just knew once I showed them off to the internet, people would ooh and ahhhh and everyone would want to buy my beautiful creations.

I went to the dollar store and picked up a vase and some Red Hots. In my head, I planned on creating a dazzling and beautiful pie lollipop bouquet that would probably make you sick to your stomach just looking at all that sweetness.

The reality? Uhh yeah. It’s the thought that counts, right?

I bought heart-shaped cookie cutters and used the smallest one since they needed to stay on the stick. I used pre-made pie crust because I haven’t made homemade pie crust before and figured I’d play it a bit safe by not making the crust from scratch. Thankfully I did it this way because I realized halfway through that I didn’t have a rolling pin. Could you imagine my annoyance if I had made all the crust and couldn’t roll it out?

As if the task at hand wasn’t hard enough as it was.

I cut out a bunch of tiny little hearts and that almost seemed too easy. I had leftover dough and scrunched it all together and tried to flatten it out. Uh yeah, remember the part about not having a rolling pin? I had several lumpy, really thick hearts. I figured it wouldn’t matter. I’d find out later just how wrong I was about that, but I realized that was the least of my concerns at the moment.




I opened up the can of cherry filling and almost beat my head into the counter top. Stupid me. One cherry would take up the whole center of the heart. One cherry. It wasn’t the preserve like stuff they were using in the example, these were real cherries and I never realized how large a cherry was until I was trying to center a couple in the middle of a tiny 2 inch heart without going over the edges. Have you tried it? I think it would be easier to fit a square peg in a small round hole.

But I put one cherry in the middle and sealed it up anyway. Making this blob that looked like a pregnant pie ready to deliver the cherry baby at any minute. Then i realized I forgot the stupid stick which made it a lollipop in the first place.




That didn’t look like the pictures on the website...

So I did the next best thing. I drained just the juice and left the cherries out entirely. That should work, right? Not exactly. I discovered that when you try to close the hearts, all the juice seeps out the sides of the heart.

And crap, I forgot the stick several times and clumsily shoved it in the bottom.



Eventually, for better or worse, I had them ready to go into the oven. I was hedging my bets and working on a backup plan just in case though. The other roll of crust would make larger heart shaped hand pies because this looked like it was going to go very badly.



Mistake number three? I forgot to grease the pan. So they all stuck. Many fell apart from that alone. I taste tested the failures and realized I was eating pie crust on a stick. There were no gooey cherry innards to any of the lollipops.


FAIL.

Switching gears on the fly, I decided the larger heart-shaped pies would be better anyway. The first couple were beautiful, though seepage was beginning to be a problem. I wanted enough filling to make them taste yummy, but that meant that cherry juice seeped out the sides of the heart.





Being the optimist I am, I realized this only added to appeal. After all, knowing us, what would be more special than bloody hearts on Valentine’s Day? We are both horror writers after all.

My bloody Valentine’s Day hearts were going so well, I wanted to bake more. After all, the second crust only made a couple and the fun was just beginning. This is when I made the executive decision to run out for more pie crusts. And a rolling pin because I saw how chunky and bloated the crusts were that I’d hand rolled.



This was also about the time my sweetheart had gotten home for work and was getting ready to head over to my place. Time crunch. Mega time crunch.

First, Target for the rolling pin and I assumed they would have pie crusts. Of course, it’s me we are talking about here and why would I get lucky like that and be able to go to only one store? But they had some peanut butter chocolate chunk cookie dough that could make for a great gift too, so why not? Normally I make cookies from scratch too, but with the clock ticking away and possible pie failure on my hands, I said to hell with it and grabbed the cookies just in case.

This particular Target is known for people shopping like they drive. Meaning the lines are long, people are slow and they just stop right directly in front of you and block your path because whatever they’re looking at is more important than letting you through so you can get the heck out of there as fast as possible. This just made me panic even more and consider some shopping cart road rage, but I resisted. Needed to get home to the pies.

After long, agonizing minutes in one of two very long lines (when over a dozen lanes sat empty), I was finally free! But now I had to run to the grocery store for pie crusts or I’d just bought a rolling pin for nothing. Argh!

I got home just as he texted me that he was on his way. California traffic sucks, and for once in my life I was thankful he’d be caught in rush hour traffic. I hoped that it would be worse than usual, because I needed all the time I could get right now. At the very least, I had 45 minutes. I might have had an hour if things were really bad... Yikes.

I was still in my pajamas and it was going on 5 pm. I’d spent several hours baking... Something I’d thought would be a simple afternoon activity.

I made several more larger heart pies, and this time added some chocolate in them. However, whenever you’re in a rush, everything goes wrong because the Universe is always so awesome like that.

The problems I encountered were all new to me and hadn’t happened on the first two go rounds! Crust sticking to the aluminum foil I was working on and having to dig foil out of the dough several times. Crusts sticking to each other and tearing, including the bottom of the heart that got ripped off. You name it, suddenly all hell broke loose in my kitchen and I thought I might throw in the towel. Or throw all my pies in the garbage disposal and watch the little hearts spew cherry blood all over while feeling a sense of revenge over the little annoying suckers.

But I knew that my five hours baking would have been wasted for nothing. So being the patient girl that I am, I stuck with it. All the while daydreaming of the demise of these little pies, the new bane of my existence! I ate a few of the ugly ones out of spite.

I came down to the last two... Well I had just a little too much pie filling and you know how that goes, you have to use up every last drop. I had just a few too many cherries and my pride wanted to use every last bit of the filling to make it an exact science. I stuffed the last of the pie filling inside them, added chocolate chips and voila! They now spewed both cherry blood and some chocolate colored liquid that could be any number of things if you used your imagination. All because I couldn’t throw a couple cherries away. OCD be damned.

Pies all filled and the last ones were finally in the oven. I decided I couldn’t let the cookies go to waste or save them for the weekend. No, my desire to bake all the things kicked in and I couldn’t fight the urge. Heart-shaped cookies had to be made now as time ticked away and I knew he could knock on the door at any moment and catch me mid-baking frenzy.

I tried cutting the cookies before baking them and when I checked on them, I realized I didn’t have hearts. I had one large blob of cookie cake. So I cut them again. This time throwing the cookie scraps in a plastic bag because dang it, I won’t waste sweets. That’s sacrilegious.

I had just finished with the last cookie and pulled out my outfit for the evening when I heard the knock on the door. I had to answer in my pajamas. I had meant to dress up all pretty for our Valentine’s Day dinner, but looking pretty took a back burner to finishing what I’d started earlier in the day.

But I was finished and the gifts were a success, regardless of how they looked.

The cute little vase with the Red Hots, how did that turn out? Well see for yourself.



Not what I had in mind. Not what I had in mind at all.

They say presentation is everything, but I think I will stick with, “It’s the thought that counts”.

He loved them. He loves me. At the end of the day, that’s all that matters.

Next year, I will have to one-up myself. Perhaps anatomically correct hearts with cherry blood seeping out. Now that would be fitting for the twisted little couple that we are. It gives me something to aspire for at least.


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Kristen Duvall is a writer of tales both real and make-believe. A Midwestern girl at heart, she now resides in Southern California with her boyfriend, Great Dane, and a rescued calico kitty she lovingly calls the Kiki Monster. She's a full- time writer with one book out now titled Femmes du Chaos.

How to be a ghostwriter -- Guest post

It's considered shameful, and many people ask me how I could do such a thing, but I'm here to admit something out in the open. I'm a ghostwriter. And no, this isn't about the 90s era show about the ghost writing messages to kids so they can solve crimes (for the longest time, that's the only thing I could picture when hearing the term), it's an honest-to-goodness way to pay the bills.

I've been ghostwriting for about a year now, which isn't that long really, but in that amount of time, I have been able to make a solid living doing it. Some people are interested in how they can do it, other's can't even imagine doing what I'm doing, and of course there are the people who don't even know what ghostwriting is.

For me, it's the best way I've found to pay the bills while doing something I love. I make more money ghostwriting fiction than I ever did writing articles or providing content for other sites. If you're interested in writing for a living, don't rule ghostwriting out simply because there's a stigma. I'd choose what I do over going back to work in a boring office any day, and I get paid well for my fiction. It really is a win-win for me.

I write primarily fiction, though I've dabbled in a bit of nonfiction ghostwriting too. I've written romance, science fiction, dystopian, legal thrillers, and a memoir just in the last few months alone. Currently, I'm writing three books and just got contacted by a repeat client to start a fourth in the next few weeks. At any given time, I'm working on three-four books at a time.

Because I spend the bulk of my time ghostwriting these days, I find that people have a lot of questions about what I do. I'm not ashamed of it, so I talk about it frequently, but I thought there's likely others out there with the same types of questions and no one to ask. So on my Facebook page, I asked my followers for questions about ghostwriting, and here are the ones I hear the most often.

1. How does the ghostwriting process work?

It works like any other writing does. I write a book. I send it off and voila! I get paid. Only one thing differentiates this process from working with a publisher, however. Sure, the book will be published, but under someone else's name. I sign a contract giving all my right to the work to the client upon payment. They do whatever they want with it, and I have no claim to the work. I sign non-disclosure agreements so I can never tell another soul that I wrote that book.

Some ask me, “Isn't that plagarism?” Nope. Not if I sign over my rights. I give them permission to use my work.

Some of my clients are anonymous. They know me, but I don't know their author names so I can't easily locate the book out on the marketplace. Others I know who they are as well as their pen names. I am never to disclose their information to anyone, and I sign confidentiality clauses to never tell anyone I wrote their book or that they use a ghostwriter. I stick to that, and would never risk their anonymity in order to brag about something I did. It's the only way to do business in this field.

2. How could someone do that?

If you're asking me how someone could publish someone else's work under their own name, you're asking the wrong person. Ask James Patterson. Or any number of big names who hire a ghostwriter (or as they call them, “co-writers”) to write their books. In some cases, it's writers who are in demand and need to churn out more books than they can handle to stay in the business, so they get some help. For others, perhaps they just want to be known as an author, but can't actually write a book. Sometimes it's people with a story to tell, but who can't find the time or the words to write it themselves. Sometimes these stories are ones that need to be told, and not everyone is a writer. I wouldn't know their reasons because I am a writer, and no, I don't ask.

But if you're asking how I can do something like this, that I can answer. It's pretty easy. I need to make a living. I want to make a living writing and doing something I love. I found a way to do it. Do I feel bad for it? Not at all. Why should I? They're the ones paying me to write, not the other way around. And I'd only feel bad paying someone else to write my books because well, I”m a writer myself. I can write my own damn books. But it just so happens I can also write books for others too. I enjoy what I do, and I get paid for it. That's how I do it.

3. How do you find ghostwriting jobs?

Initially, I fell into it by accident. I was on Elance, needing to get by when my unemployment ran out and applied for a job hoping to survive the month. That turned into ongoing work for me, and I've written 10 books for this client alone in the last few months. I haven't advertised my services, mainly because I haven't had to. I find most of my work on Elance, and I haven't had to work that hard. I submit samples, and I've built up a solid reputation already. Most of my clients are now repeat clients, people I work with regularly who enjoy my work, so I don't actively seek out new clients. Of course, this is different for everyone, and if the need arises, I will advertise my services elsewhere to grow in the field.

4. How do you decide how much to charge?

Since I fell into it, I had no idea how much to charge when I started. I just made up a number based on what the client listed in their ad. Now I have a going rate. It's based on how fast I can write and it comes out to $20 an hour. It's not uncommon to charge $1 per 100 words, which if you don't write fast, may not be worth it. I can easily write 10,000+ words in a few hours, so for me, it all works out. From here, I do expect to make more once I've built up a reputation with a client, but $1 per 100 words is a starting point for many ghosts.

5. What's the most difficult thing about ghostwriting?

Working with a client's expectations. It's always scary when someone gives me an entire outline, character sketches, etc because I know they have expectations. They hear those characters in their own head, and somehow, I have to get that voice down on paper. So far, I haven't had a problem with this, but it's always hard working with existing worlds and characters. I find it's much easier for me to create my own, and oftentimes I get to, but not always.

6. How does ghostwriting differ from writing your own stuff?

I mostly write in a genre I wouldn't write in otherwise. I'm not a romance writer. I write dark fiction and happily-ever-afters aren't the norm in my own work. That's probably the biggest difference of all. I do this on purpose - I personally prefer to keep my own style to myself. I wouldn't ever publish in the romance genre on my own, so it makes it easier for me to hand over the rights. It's still fun for me to write, and I get to explore worlds I wouldn't have explored otherwise, but the style, tone and voice are completely different than anything I write for myself. Another question I get is do I have to purposefully change the voice so no one realizes it's me.... I'm not big enough for that, so no, it hasn't been a problem. And like I said, I write in a genre I don't publish in. Two totally different worlds.

7. How many revisions, on average, do you make when ghostwriting? Does the editor come back multiple times for you to make revisions are is it generally in good shape after a time or two?

I haven't had to work on too many revisions honestly. I believe the clients themselves edit and revise, but for the most part I send it off and I'm free to move on to the next project. However, I do have two new projects that I've been asked to revise. One was not my fault, a similar book came out a week before I finished mine so we changed it to avoid copyright issues. And another was me working with someone else's world, and it's minor changes to get the voices right. So far, that's it.

8. How do you assess a job before accepting? Have you had any a-hole customers?

I've gotten very good about reading their proposal and determining if they're someone I could work with. Many times, if they offer a very low starting price with a promise to raise it in the future, I don't apply. I've discovered that too many of them never hire you back, they're just looking for cheap work and I can afford to be picky. Anyone that comes off as an a-hole, I look the other way. That being said, I have worked with at least one person who isn't someone I'd work with again. I got a bad vibe early on, felt they were too needy and demanding, but I wanted to be professional so I accepted anyway. It went okay, but the pay itself wasn't worth the stress. I try to stick with my ongoing clients as much as possible. They've been good to me so far.

9. How do you get motivated to write something that isn't your own work?

I'm a different type of writer than some. I don't get writer's block. I don't need to be inspired to write. I just write. I treat it like a job. I sit down at a certain time to write, and I write until a certain time. What motivates me is the deadline, the pay and the fact that I'm doing something I love. To me, this isn't a hobby so I don't treat it as such. I treat it as my career, putting in full-time hours (usually more than that) and I always get the job done. No exceptions. Sure, some work is harder than others, but I've learned what I do and don't like, and I've learned to write through the slump. If something isn't working at first, I just keep writing and it always becomes easier. Always.

I think of it like a job. This is still my work, and by doing a good job on it, I will get more work which allows me to continue doing this. I take as much pride in it as I would anything I'd publish under my own name. I don't have to have my name plastered on the cover for it to still be my work.

10. And finally, the biggest question I'm asked... Why don't you just publish the work under your own name and make money that way?

This is the top question I get asked. You see, I do publish work under my own name. I have several publishing credits to my name, some with prestigious anthologies. I've also self-published and plan to self-publish more books in the future. I've built up a decent following too. I'm no Anne Rice yet, but success in this field takes time. I have reasonable expectations and know I won't sell 10,000 books under my name just yet simply because no one knows who I am.

My clients already have a solid reputation so they can afford to pay me more than I make on my own. This allows me the freedom to stay at home, which for an introvert like me is very important. I'm still working on my own writing career, but in the meantime, I need to pay the bills. I balance the two so I'm still working on my own writing career, but also making enough money to stay home. It's not me choosing one or the other, but instead finding a way to work on my writing while still making ends meet.

Ultimately, as with any artistic career, if you want to make this a career, you have to stop thinking of it as a hobby. If you are a hobbyist, there's nothing wrong with that, keep doing what makes you happy. But if you're someone who dreams about being a writer or painter or whatever, you have to find what works for you, and you must start thinking of it as a job. Ghostwriting isn't for everyone. I'm lucky I have the time (no kids, no life, and the ability to spend 12-16 hour days working) and I can type super fast. There are other ways to make money writing, but this one just happens to work for me. And who knows, maybe it can work for some of you as well.


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Kristen Duvall is a writer of tales both real and make-believe. A Midwestern girl at heart, she now resides in Southern California with her boyfriend, Great Dane, and a rescued calico kitty she lovingly calls the Kiki Monster. She's a full- time writer with one book out now titled Femmes du Chaos.

Growing Up Poor -- Guest Post

Today Kristen Duvall gives another poignant perspective on poverty. She grew up with it, and can speak to the judgment and its effects like no one else.

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For most of my life, I've tried to hide where I came from. I see the type of hate and derision thrown toward people who are thought of as “poor” and I did everything in my power to pretend that wasn't me.

Growing up, people often tossed around insults to those on welfare, and I'd try to pretend it wasn't me they were making fun of. Early on in life, I learned to grit my teeth, look away and try to block out the cruelty. I know that the kids in my class were merely repeating the words their parents had said at home, that they logically had no idea what it was like for my family, but still... Every time someone made a jab about the lazy leeches living off of government assistance, they were talking about me. When people say, “Can't feed them, don't breed them,” they're talking about me. In my head, I was something to be despised simply because I was born into the family I was. I didn't ask for any of it.

I'm tired of hiding. I'm tired of being ashamed of a situation that I had no control over. I'm tired of friends posting memes bashing the poor, including the children of the poor, while they perpetuate the misconception that people like my family are lazy, good-for-nothing welfare queens.

Because they're not.

My family didn't just fall on hard times – their entire life has been filled with one ridiculous tragedy after another. While we hadn't always been poor, the problems my family encountered started early in my life. My dad was a Vietnam war veteran and worked hard until the day he died. But he died very young and left my mom a widow at the age of 30. She had no warning he would die on her, and when he passed, he left her with two daughters to care for. I was only three and a half at the time. She did everything she could for us, she worked very hard my entire life, but her health problems left her disabled and without a regular source of income at a young age.

Yet, she resisted filing for disability benefits for many years. It wasn't an easy choice for her, not something she took lightly. It took years of coaxing from family members to finally get her to apply.

When I say we were poor, I don't mean we didn't get name brand clothes or drove a used car. Oh no, we often went without water, and for most of my childhood, we didn't have heat. Our house was falling down around us because my mom couldn't afford the repairs needed to maintain it. We had holes in the floor big enough for me to fall through, and a well with a pump that constantly failed. Because we had no heat, our pipes would freeze in the winter meaning no water then too. Sure, it could have been worse, even for us. At least we had a roof over our heads – even if it was threatening to fall down on top of us.

But then things got worse.

A few years ago, my family lost everything when their house burned to the ground. Because of the issues with the house, my mom couldn't afford the insurance premiums, so when it was destroyed, they were left homeless. Had it not been for the kindness of strangers, I don't know what they'd have done.

To this very day, my mom, brother, and stepfather continue to live in the small, cramped RV that was gifted to them after they lost their house. It has no running water and no way to cook food other than a hot plate and a microwave – most nights, my mom eats nothing but canned green beans with ham seasoning. Despite it all, they're grateful to have a roof over their heads.

I'm not in a place where I can help them. I'm barely getting by on my own and living thousands of miles away. All I've ever wanted to do was help pull them out of poverty. I was the golden child, the first person in my family to graduate high school, much less college and then graduate school. I earned degrees in subjects I thought would be practical, that would help me earn the sort of income to allow me to help them. It wasn't what I enjoyed studying, but it wasn't about me. I needed a career that allowed me to make enough money to take care of them.

And I've failed. 

Every time one of my friends posts about how lazy and horrible the poor are, I still feel like they're talking about me. Like they're talking about my family. I grit my teeth and try to remind myself that they're not doing it on purpose and don't really mean me, but it still hurts. You see, my mom is a great person. Truly, she is. She's always volunteered for school events and around the community. She's given to charity even when she had very little to give. She raised me to be a strong, independent woman who knows that I'm not entitled to anything and that life is unfair sometimes. I've learned the value of a dollar, and you will never see me spending a hundred dollars on a purse or a pair of shoes, no matter how much money I make, because I realize what truly matters in this world. I know what it's like to go without basic necessities, and because of that, I never waste water or throw out perfectly good food. All thanks to my my past. All thanks to my mom.

So yes, it hurts me to see others – especially people I consider to be friends – bashing the poor. Bashing people like my mom. Sure, you might say, she's the outlier, an anomaly in an otherwise lazy group. But no, my friends, she's not. How do I know this? Because I've lived it. I've been deep into the bowels of poverty and lived to tell the tale. I've met people who may surprise you, I've heard their stories, I've lived their stories.

And guess what? Not all of these people are there because they're lazy. Bad things do sometimes happen to good people. But that's a fact we like to forget because it's less scary to imagine that these folks deserve everything they've had happen to them. It's comforting to forget that sometimes we lose jobs, our husbands die, or we're struck with a debilitating disability and our six months of savings can only go so far when faced with a catastrophe like that.

Believe it or not, being on welfare isn't fun. It's not a vacation. It's not easy living month to month, worrying about whether or not you'll be able to eat next week. It's no picnic in the park, trust me. Don't believe me? Try washing your hair in a bucket of cold water and tell me how you like it. Because I've been there. My family is still there as we speak, and they're not enjoying life.

While you're at it, why not spend a Midwestern winter without heat. Try to get to work with a car that doesn't start when the temperature drops below a certain point. Try saving up for emergencies when you make less than $300 a month and your rent is almost twice that. Try paying for childcare while working a minimum wage job and see that you're pretty much giving your babysitter your entire paycheck. 

And to top it all of, try dealing with the people who think you're lazy, that you have it easy, and make demeaning comments about every little thing you do.

Pitching to a Publishing Company -- Guest Post

Have you dusted off that novel you've been working on during naptime yet? If not, you should. Today, I've got Kristen Duvall  from Fey Publishing talking about the largest obstacle to getting publishing...getting off a good pitch.

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When people think about the publishing industry, they often think of the big guys. You know who I'm talking about – HarperCollins, Penguin, Random House, etc.

But there are smaller presses out there too, and many of them doing pretty well. Small presses are a nice middle-ground between the big houses, who are notoriously hard to get signed with, and self-publishing, which while I support, may not be everyone's cup of tea. Some writers want the editorial help that comes with working with a publishing house. They also want someone else to handle cover design, formatting and the hundreds of other little things that go into publishing a book. Not to mention that some writers like having the publishing credit, and the ability to say they were picked up by a publishing house, no matter how small.

I'll be honest, I don't make much doing this – but I love it. I acquired Fey Publishing with a few books in the catalog already, but I've also put out several books on my own now too.  And I've learned a lot about the publishing industry along the way which helps me as a writer. (Yes, I do both. No, I never have any time for myself, why do you ask?)

One of the biggest lessons I've learned though, is an important one - How to grab an editor's attention.

Sure, I may be small, but I see a lot of submissions. I've read query letter after query letter, learned what turned me (and my staff readers) off right away and what intrigued me enough to pull a manuscript from the pile for a closer look.

Yes, the first step is writing a great novel. But in order to get noticed in a pile filled with hundreds of great manuscripts, you need to make yourself stand out. Since I am a small press, I'm unable to publish a ton of books at a time, so I have to be extra picky, and I have to turn down good novels all the time simply because I don't have the time to publish all of them.

So what worked? How did a writer manage to capture my attention?

1)  They were confident and ambitious. For example, when Charlotte Pickering submitted her manuscript, she included plans for the book that included a short film/trailer, songs performed by a local band that referenced the book, and meetings with important figures in her area. Before I even read her manuscript, I knew this woman believed in her book. And guess what? It made me believe in it too. I pulled up her manuscript right away, and just like I thought it would be, Messiah of the Slums is a success. And a large part of that success is because the author isn't afraid to put herself out there. Many public figures have ignored her e-mails and calls, but other key political and religious figures have given her glowing reviews.

That's also how Mallory Evans-Coyne caught my attention as well. Paisley Sage and the Hole in the Sky comes out in October, and already, Mallory is thinking big and getting her name out there. Both of these ladies set their goals high, but are willing to work for it and take chances. Their ambition packaged with a great novel is ultimately what made me sign them. It's also what will lead them to great, and well earned success.

2) Pay attention to the editor's interests. Oftentimes you'll see specific details about what they're looking for, or sometimes they share their interests via social media (look at #mswl on Twitter). Knowing that an editor is looking for a specific theme, tailor your query letter to reflect that theme. For instance, KL Mabbs read that I was looking for LGBT characters and strong women. He submitted his YA fantasy novel, Spellsword, and made sure to draw my attention to the fact that his main characters fit both those criteria.  He nailed two of my biggest wants right away, meaning his novel went to the top of the pile.

Unfortunately, I have to reject more submissions than I accept. Believe me, this is something I hate to do. And because I receive a lot of submissions, I can't read through all of them and expect to get any work done. Most of the time, I at least try to read through the first three chapters of a manuscript that piques my interest. But there are ways to lose me in the query letter and never even make it that stage.

So what doesn't work for me?

1) Over-confidence. Yes, confidence is great – but don't be an asshat about it. I once had someone submit their first novel to me (the first one they'd ever written, mind you) with a letter stating they had more talent than all the indie writers in the world combined. I'm not kidding. From the sound of the letter, this person wasn't going to take criticism well at all. They went on and on about how talented and perfect they were as a writer.  While I leave much of the creative control to the author, there are times when critical feedback and editing are necessary evils. This one – well – just based on the query letter, it sounded like more trouble than it was worth. Especially for an idea that didn't sound that original or unique to begin with. So it was a no.

2) Starting out a query letter by saying “I know your guidelines say you're not accepting {genre I don't accept}, but I believe my novel is different than the rest.”  For example, I clearly state “no children's books” and I get children's books on a regular basis. And oftentimes, the writer knows I'm not accepting that genre and includes a note right there in the query letter – usually in the first line.  I'm sorry, but guidelines are there for a reason. Ignoring them and firing me off a query letter anyway is a waste of your time as well as my time. And I wouldn't be doing you any favors by accepting your work either because I know NOTHING about that genre.

3) Not reading the guidelines at all.  Even if the genre is what I'm looking for, I still have simple directions on how to submit. Don't find my personal e-mail address and submit the novel there. There's a good chance it'll got lost if you do that. Don't e-mail the company e-mail address if it says to submit via Submittable. Again, likely to get lost.

I know most of this is probably common sense for most people, but sadly, things like these happen all too frequently. No one wants to go through all the trouble of writing an excellent book, submitting it somewhere and then never getting it read. Of course, there's no guarantee that even if it was read that it would be published, but following the simple guidelines might help increase the odds, if only a bit. 

 

How to Make a Career Out of Freelance Writing - Guest Post

So, I'm a mom first, but very much a writer second, and sometimes I make money at this, and sometimes I don't. Kristen Duvall has actually gone nose-to-grindstone with the freelance, and through hard work and persistence, well, she's making it work. If you'd like to give it a try (which I recommend), she's got some amazing tips here for the beginner and the advanced alike.

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First of all, I never set out to make a living as a freelance writer. That all happened by accident. In fact, I have a graduate degree in real estate development, not English or journalism. I have always loved writing, but it seemed like an impossible dream so I went for the more “practical” path.

But then things changed. I won't go into details, it's not important. But desperation will lead you to do anything to pay the bills... and for me, that anything happened to be writing. Not I'm no expert on the subject, and I hate to jinx myself by bragging too much... but I have been able to make a decent amount living from writing and I can say, it's not impossible. Heck, I don't even consider myself that great of a writer... I think I'm decent enough, and I put out work I'm happy with. I have one book of short stories published, and I have a few publishing credits to my name, but I'm by no means as good as many writers out there. So if I can do it, so can you, trust me.

Many people look at websites like The Huffington Post, and when they realize many of those don't pay their writers, it can get pretty discouraging. Of course, the HuffPo is great for exposure... but exposure won't pay the bills. So what do you do when you need to pay the bills, and you can't wait for the exposure to pay off?

You freelance.

I'm here to answer a few questions about freelancing, and hopefully offer some tips that'll help those of you interested in getting into as well. It's easy to get discouraged when you see big journals who won't pay for your time, or clients who expect you to work for pennies on the dollar, but it doesn't have to be that way.

So first off, how did I break into the freelance market?

I happened to know someone who was writing for a celebrity gossip site and she hooked me up. The job paid $10 an article and I was expected to write two articles a day, every single day. At first, it was a slow process and I was frustrated... $20 a day for a day's work? But I had no other choice and it was my only income at the time, so I stuck with it. Before I knew it, I wrote faster and faster articles so I could take on additional work.

Now, I know not everyone knows someone who can get them into a job like that. My advice to you is to sign up for Elance.com or any number of websites devoted to freelancing. I specify Elance simply because that's what I experience in. Sure, there are jobs that pay nothing and expect a lot of work. Skip over those. Those people aren't looking for quality writers, they're hoping to get something for nothing. Not worth your time to stress about them. However, if a job sounds interesting and relevant to you, apply with what you'd be willing to do the work for anyway. You may be surprised and get the job at the higher rate... or you may not. But it never hurts to try, right? It costs nothing to apply. 

There are decent clients on Elance however. Yes, you need samples. And yes, having a blog helps. But one other way to nab jobs is to build up your reputation on the site. That means, find some small projects that pay $20-30 or so and apply for those. In my case, I wrote a Christian romance short story (I'm not Christian nor am I a romance writer, I write horror, but hey, I did it). It paid $30. Easy peasy. I also worked on another project writing content for an app, and because of how quick it was for me to do, it came out to about $60 an hour in the end.

Now, I get invited to several jobs a day. Some are terrible, while others are actually really, really good.

And I've been doing this full-time since January. That's it.

But writing job boards aren't the only way to find work either.  I found one regular writing job by searching indeed.com for “writing jobs”. Sounds so simple, doesn't it? I was bored and figured nothing would turn up... but not only did I find the job, I got hired at a very decent rate. I get paid more than double what I was making on the celebrity gossip site per article now. And from here, I'm applying to more jobs, some of them full-time, some of them not. I've decided my goal is to be an editor one day, or perhaps just find a full-time writing gig. The jobs are out there... they require experience, sure... but that's what I'm doing right now. Building up the experience, bit by bit, while paying my bills.

Some tips I've learned from my experiences...

1) If a job says they'll test you out at a lower rate and then raise it to something really, really good? Likely they won't hire you back. How do I know? Experience. Some of them don't even bother to leave positive feedback.

2) With Elance, it helps to have a paid account. It's $10 a month, but you can see what others are bidding so you can price yourself accordingly on the jobs you really want, and you get more connects per month to apply for more jobs and to also provide another benefit that I'll mention next.

3) If it's a job you really want, use the extra connects to sponsor your post. It will be placed on top (only four proposals are placed on top). The good clients get a ton of proposals, so make yours stand out by being on top. Also, it shows you're really serious about the gig too. I find I'm more likely to get a job if I sponsor my proposal. And with 120 connects, I can afford the 4 connects it takes to do so.

4) Get better at writing FAST. Currently, I've been known to write 10,000-12,000 words in a day when I need to (and for me, it's about a 5-6 hour day with breaks now). The more you can write, the more money you can bring in.

5) Be down with ghostwriting. Sure, it sucks to write fiction and not have the world know it's yours... but I tend to get paid more for my fiction by ghostwriting than I do if I publish, at least for now as an unknown. I actually make more money writing fiction than nonfiction, and even when I have to write a genre that isn't my favorite, I still have a ton of fun. And I get paid for it, so double yay.

6) Don't assume that just because you're not an expert on something, you can't write about it. That's what research is for. I couldn't care less about celebrity gossip, and I avoid reading about the spoiled, pampered elite as much as possible because their antics annoy me... but when it came down to getting paid for it... I did what I had to do and still enjoyed it over  anything else I could be doing at the time.

Now here are the pitfalls I've personally experienced.

1) Procrastination is always on the horizon. You know you can write fast, you have all the time in the world, so why not play some Candy Crush, just for a few minutes. Oh, and you forgot to send an e-mail to so and so, that'll only take a minute. Gosh, I'm so tired, my brain can't possibly write... It might be time to nap. Napping on the job is too easy when you're freelancing, trust me. This can lead to so many problems... If your life is anything like mine, unexpected issues always crop up. I get sick. I have guests who show up at the last minute. You run over a screwdriver on a quick trip to the grocery store and end up losing an entire day of writing the day before a deadline. You name it, it can (and does happen). I speak from personal experience.

2) It's unstable. One month, I rake in the dough. I get several high paying jobs and it feels too easy. The next month? Nothing. It's scary when you live month-to-month and don't have a guaranteed paycheck which is why I have a part-time job at a bookstore... just in case. I live in Southern California where my rent is ridiculously high, so I take guaranteed money where I can get it. It wouldn't hurt to work part-time while trying to get off the ground.

But it can be possible to make a living off it. Sure, you don't always get to write what you want to write (err like romance for me, but I've come to enjoy it), but there's something about being paid, and being paid well, for your writing that satisfies me like no other. It's not for everyone, and if you're the type of writer who needs to be inspired to write, well... it's probably not for you. You can't wait to be inspired or work through writer's block when you have a deadline on the line. But for me, I've learned that there's no such thing as writer's block... it's just needing to push myself to sit down and write. What better motivator than a deadline and a client willing to pay you for your work?

And besides, it was either that or find some lousy desk job that made me hate my life day in and day out again like I had before... One where I dreaded going into work everyday. I was chronically depressed, always wishing I had more time to write or at least do something I enjoyed. I have that now. Sure, there are pitfalls like the pay being unstable, but after being fired from a secure job, and then watching my boyfriend get fired from a job he had for 13 years (neither of us were given a reason), I've come to realize that nothing is stable in life... Not even the job we've dedicated our lives to.

And personally speaking, given the choice between a mind-numbing job staring at spreadsheets all day, I'd rather write.

If this sounds like you, it I say go for it. If you can write on command, write content that isn't always your cup-of-tea, then go for it. Perhaps start out small and keep your day job if you want to, but look into sites that are hiring for content writers. Maybe they aren't huge like HuffPo, but many sites do pay for content... and they pay fairly well too.

Trust me when I say it can be done.