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Friday, August 12, 2011


Everything is of utmost importance to a toddler. Each experience must never end. Sharing is a monstrosity invented by cruel parents to torment and disgust.  Fun places are not even fun because they know that eventually the fun will end. And that knowledge is enough for them to start crying about it before we even get there.

The energy it must take to be a toddler, I can't even imagine. They have so many *~feelings~*.  How can they even survive with all of these tortures in place to tease and torment them? Adult distraction doesn't work anymore, they're too stubborn for that. Reverse psychology? They learned that game six months ago. Nothing doing. They are going to cry and they are going to cry now and there is nothing anyone can do to stop it because the world is just too much.

But, when our adult tactics fail our children often enough, they adapt. They move to their own solution, often one that we would never have thought of.

Our biggest problem in this house has to do with the incessant movement of time. Nothing can ever end, and, at the same time, nothing can ever begin fast enough. It's a very confusing atmosphere all around. To combat this, the twins will soothe themselves during whatever activity it is that they don't want to end by reassuring themselves that more is coming directly following the completion. They know it's not true, but they ask me to verify their vision of unending candy, videos and playing outside.

Natalina will take one bite of cereal / cheez its / pretzels / ice cream, and immediately say to me, "next you get me more, mama? Next you get me more _______?"

Then I say yes, if she can finish what I've given her in her bowl, I will then immediately get her more, essentially moving that this moment can last forever, and she is satisfied. She rarely finishes the bowl, so I rarely have to get her more. But even when she does, she's uninterested in actually eating the next helping. The device and action was there only to extend the experience in her own mind, to give her the control of ending it when she was ready.

It's actually quite genius. A soothing technique straight out of a self-help book. By attacking the small problems, she takes control of the larger issue, which is, of course, that she would just like a little control in her life.

I'm so glad my twins have started figuring this stuff out on their own because my solutions pale in comparison to their genius self-fixes.


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