Get widget

Wednesday, August 24, 2011

Plant Killer

I am a plant killer. I cannot keep potted plants. It's beyond a black thumb; it's ridiculous. I mean, how hard can this be? Aren't plants at the bottom of the responsibility totem pole? Like, you tell your kids they can't get a pet hamster until they prove they can care for a plant?

No one should give me a hamster...nevermind the twins I have. I simply cannot keep a plant alive. It should be simple, right? Water it. Put it in a well-lighted area. Yeah, no. I'm clearly missing some important steps in plant maintenance. So, my solution, instead of bettering myself, or trying different things, is to not buy any plants.

Still, this sometimes backfires. For example, for my birthday this year, a mere month and a half ago, my friends bought me a beautiful, yellow-flowering potted plant. This plant, I resolved, would make it. I was older now, more experienced. I was taking care of young children. I could certainly handle a plant.

My regiment, of course, included placing the flowers in a well-seen area and looking at them every once in a while, admiring their beauty. That worked for almost three days.

Then I noticed that they were not looking so good. Shoot! Water them. I watered them. By the next day, they hadn't perked up. Water them some more! Maybe that first time didn't take. The next day they were looking even worse.  Hmm, maybe plant food or something. I mixed up some delicious blue-looking food.  No dice.

Move them. Put them in the sunlight. Water them more. Come on, flowers, come back to healthy life!

Alas, there was nothing I could do to save the poor things from their fate as having me as their owner. They perished despite the water and the food and the sunlight. Maybe I should have started right away instead of waiting like a jerk for the three days where they seemed to be self-sufficient. Or perhaps I shouldn't have drowned them with water to overcompensate. We'll never know.

To Yasmin and Osvaldo...I'm sorry I killed your plant.

If you like this blog, please vote on Tales of an Unlikely Mother is number 17, just scroll down and click on the thumbs up! Thank you so, so much.


  1. My plants are dying too. It looks like maybe too much water? You should look up the care for the exact plant it is, some plants don't like too much light or even direct light.
    I think I finally figured out my problem, it is super dry in my house so I need to water more. I hope hope it helps.

  2. Do not feel bad. Any plant left alone with me for more than 72 hours will die. My partners plants, which are more than happy for him to ignore them for more than a week and even if he waters them before he leaves, will be dead within 3 days of his exiting the front door. My gerbils however live long and happy lives. I suspect some people are just unexplainably toxic to vegitation :)



Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...