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Monday, December 26, 2011

Recipe Monday - Roast Duck

So, I am at best a good bad cook. The things I make tend to come out pretty darn good, but I usually have no idea how. Earlier in the week, I decided I'd cook a duck for Christmas dinner.  Here's the recipe I finally ended up using.


  1. Score the skin, cut off excess fat, and poke it all over
  2. Salt and truss
  3. Roast at 300 degrees for 1 hour, breast-side up
  4. Poke, flip, roast for 1 hour, breast-side down
  5. Poke, flip, roast for 1 hour, breast-side up
  6. Poke, flip, roast for 1 hour, breast side down
  7. Poke, flip, blast at 450 degrees for 10 minutes, breast-side up
  8. Flip, and put it in for another 10 minutes
  9. Rest, carve & serve (I poured orange sauce on it.)
 Now, this ended up being one of the best meals I've ever made in my life. But it's not the results that make me a bad cook. It's the cooking processes. This one was accidentally recorded and I'd like to share it with you.

Facebook:

3 p.m.
So I thought I'd be fancy and buy a duck for Christmas dinner. It's like a turkey only smaller, right? WRONG. Kill me now.
  • Melanie: Lol!!

  • Tracey: Teach you to be fancy!
  • Emilie: At least you have the internet! :D
     
 3:10 p.m.

Guys, the neck is STUCK in there. This shit is for the birds.
  • Mandi: Garbage parts.


 3:14 p.m.
Alright, WHO IS TRYING TO PLAY WORDS WITH FRIENDS WITH ME RIGHT NOW. CAN'T YOU SEE I'M ELBOW DEEP IN DUCK?
  • Courtney: That was Tiffany, she just took all her turns...Ill kick her for you! LoL
  • Tiffany:SORRY! I didn't know!
  • Tiffany:Hey wait a sec...you're mad that I played WWF while you're "elbow deep in duck," but you can still post on Facebook!? How does that work!?

  • Darlena Mariani Cunha LOL I was wondering if you'd pick up on that.
    19 hours ago ·
  • Darlena Mariani Cunha I couldn't THINK at the time, but I NEEDED to complain. That's how!

  • Tiffany: lol, I love you! Merry Christmas!!! (sorry you're elbow deep in duck)
 3:17 p.m.
Oh God, it (the neck) came out. Gross gross gross. I guess this kind of thing is what twitter is for, eh?
3:19 p.m.
Darlena Mariani Cunha
UGH. What are all these other stinky red disgusting things? One went down the disposal. I don't even care.
  • Mandi: Duck giblets. 

3:25 p.m.

I love how they just say, remove all the excess fat, like it's in an easy-to-reach-bag or something. Oh, okay.
    • Alison: god I love you. If I lived closer I would cook your duck for you.
    • Darlena Mariani Cunha ALISON! Do you know how to do this? It says put it on a rack in a deep pan...BUT MY RACK IS TOO BIG FOR MY BIGGEST PAN!
    • Darlena Mariani Cunha Also, that's what he said.

    • Darlena Mariani Cunha But serious. Should I use a rack over a cookie-ish sheet? Should I place the rack OVER the pan? What if the duck falls off? Should I just fuck the rack and put it in the pan?
    • Tracey: Your rack is perfect, my dear.

    • Kathleen: Isn't duck fatty? I wouldn't use a cookie sheet.
    • Channon: No, don't use a cookie sheet. If your rack is too big put it over the pan. Be careful when you put it in the oven and it will be fine.
    • Alison: I would put the rack over the deep pan, duck it pretty fatty you want it to sit above the fat and the cookie sheet probably won't contain it.
    • Channon: Do yourself a favor and cover the roasting pan with tin foil to contain some of the mess.
    • Stacy: You make me smile. Your duck will be great. If not, wine and cookies. 






3:31 p.m.
 
YANK out the QUILLS? You have got to be kidding me.
    • Teal: This is why I google everything!!!! LOL good luck hun and Merry Christmas!!!!
    • Lorraine: You are crackin me up, I know not funny to you tho





3:35 p.m.

Just tried. Nope, Don't Care. Eat around the damn quills.
    • Jess: This is the best series of Facebook posts ever

3:38 p.m.
It's in the oven, and I'm eating a Christmas cookie I had to foresight to make BEFORE the duck. See you in four hours, sucker. Where's the wine?
6:13 p.m.
Darlena Mariani Cunha
Did you know that duck still stinks even after having been in the oven for 2.5 hours? It's just now starting to smell okay.
    • Mandi: Duck is seriously oily.
    • Amber: Eww. lol





8:30 p.m.

You guys are never going to believe this after all that...but the duck came out PERFECTLY. I'm serious. It may have been the best meal I ever made.
 
___


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3 comments:

  1. this post is legendary, also I kinda want duck now.

    ReplyDelete
  2. *like* That was awesome!
    sayga (it won't let me use open ID today)

    ReplyDelete
  3. I am currently roasting duck, and it was so full of quills, I had to Google what happens if you cook duck with quills in it. Your post came up- I loved the "Eat around the damn quills." cause that's what I'll be doing :P

    ReplyDelete

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