Preschool Pointers - 38: Make an Activities Schedule

Problem:

It's summertime. That means hours upon hours of emptiness to fill, minds to stimulate, fun to be had. All this fun and education for your kids can cause wear and frazzle for you (ask me how I know). So, how can you stop the boredom without losing your mind, or frantically rushing around all the time?

Solution:

Schedule it. Obviously you can't plan your whole summer and things are going to pop up or cancel out with nothing you can do, but if you have a general framework in which you want to work, you'll find it's easy to replace or work around those variables.

I do my scheduling on Thursdays. First, I look online for free events for kids in my town. Last week, the library did both a national donut day celebration, and a make-your-own-ice-cream event.

We did both. We also went to a free movie with Jackie from Accidentally Mommy and her kids.

Then I check my "free kids stuff" coupons. My friend and fellow twin mom, Laura, and I took our kids rollerskating for free.

Then I fill the rest of the week up with playdates. Now, being a mom of twins, I automatically resign myself to being the host. Because everyone else has one kid. And I have two. So, yeah, I'm not expecting the invitations to flow like honey over here. But if my kids are entertained, that's more me time, even if they're right in my face. At least, that's what I tell myself. This week, Laura and her twins came over one day, and two little boys from the girls' preschool came over another day.

Nice finger, right? I'm a pro.

Anyway, this coming week looks like this: Playdate Monday morning, didgeridoo Monday afternoon at the library, free swimming lesson Tuesday morning, playdate Wednesday, splash pad Thursday.

Friday? Happy hour. Because, damn, did you just see my week? And then, next Thursday, I'll schedule next week. And there are only like...a billion weeks left, right? Woooo, summertime!




 

Preschool Pointers - 31: Playdates and Parties

Problem:

Where you normally have one (or for us lucky ones, two) four year olds to keep busy, somehow you convinced yourself that having a group playdate would be a grand idea. After you're done crying in your room, you still have to entertain them.

Solution:

Whatever you do, do not ask them what they want to do. Even one four year old can't figure that out. Put eight together and there is no way anyone is coming out alive. On the other hand, do not  have a plan. Seriously. You've got to be able to go with the flow, make decisions on the fly, and gauge the situations as they come up to make sure everyone stays happy. Or at least relatively calm.

So, when you've got eight pairs of eyes staring you down, start a game. Remember, grown ups are still cool to kids this age. Grown ups they hardly know but know they can trust are even cooler. They will give you the benefit of the doubt. Lead them in a game. The other day I first did doctor, where I was the triage nurse and each of them lined up to be seen, giving me their pretend ailments, then going to sit on the patient couch. One of them was the doctor, and after each one got seen, she became the next doctor. This way everyone is involved playing not one but two roles. Then you can make one of them the nurse and step out of the game entirely. Do not forget this step. It's the best part.

Another thing I did was restaurant. First I played the waiter and took some kids' orders. I called for a chef and a few of them piled into the "kitchen" to make the food. Then I was a customer and made an order. Then I stepped out.

Just let them play and step in when shit gets rowdy, then step back out. You can have a few activities, that's a good thing. Just don't plan them in cement at certain times for certain lengths. Be ready for change.

And breathe. You did a good thing. Maybe another parent will return the favor someday.






 

Preschool Pointers - 26: Bring Over a Friend

Problem: Now that the kids are four, do you really need to be right up in their faces while they play? Does everyone need to go to the park together? When do we get to do that whole, hey, come over to my house and play with my kids and leave me out of it? I say now.

Solution: Try it. The other parents aren't going to do it first (trust me, I tried waiting for them). Today we bit the bullet and we have a very nice little girl here. Now, no one is used to it, and my girls are tantruming and not knowing what to do with themselves, but this is a learning process. (Right now they're all watching Bambi for a hot second after a completely failed experiment involving three girls and only two play computers. Yeah, that went over as well as you could expect.) Anyway, after they chill out, I'll feed them lunch, then make them play some more. And we'll do this again next weekend. With a different kid. And then again. And we'll keep doing this until my kids figure out that they can play with friends and not involve me every single second.

Here's hoping.

 

Do Kids Affect Kids?

I felt like an historical southern lady yesterday. We had visitors in the morning, then a nap, then visitors in the afternoon.  I didn't serve any tea though.

The twins and I ran into one of our neighbors around 10:30 a.m. She has a little girl just two months older than the twins, who wanted to come and play.  Only, she didn't.  She played with the babies' toys, but she didn't play with the babies.  I chalk this up to kids being still too young to really interact positively with each other.  My kids play with each other constantly, giving me the false sense that they are socialized. But, in reality, it takes them some time to warm up to strange children.  Still, with guidance from me, they were open to sharing with their new friend and tried to engage her here and there.

Still, it was two against one.  I completely understand the little girl's shyness.  Her mother and I talked quietly about our lives. The girl usually goes to daycare, but the mom was off that day and kept her home.  The babies were sitting on my lap at that point, watching the girl play with their puzzles over the arm of the chair.  They were fascinated because she was actually trying to put the puzzles back together - something they haven't yet thought about.

All of a sudden, the girl looked up at my kids and said loudly, "Get out of my face!"

Shocked silence.

I felt bad for the mom, who scrambled to have her daughter apologize (which she didn't).  It's hard for me to gauge what's appropriate and what's not appropriate, since the twins hardly ever have playdates (something I'm trying to remedy).  The mom was so embarrassed, but she shouldn't have been.  Little kids are little kids. They pick up sayings in random places, and they're still trying to place where they can say certain things and express certain emotions.  It was more than clear that the girl was good natured, she was just shy and protective of the toys she was playing with.

That being said, I hope I don't hear "get out of my face!" from either of the twins in the near future.  Do kids pick up behaviors and language from other kids?  I know the answer is yes, but do they do it after only one time?

It's hard to walk into a home with ready-made playmates and feel comfortable.  My twins have unspoken rules to games they made up a year ago. When another child doesn't understand the rules or how to take turns in a way the twins deem acceptable, they get upset.  For instance, while Natalina knows that the orange ball is Dulce's, and Dulce knows that the yellow ball is Natalina's, a stranger isn't going to know that or understand why she can't touch the orange or yellow ball but touching the purple ball is fine.

All in all, I think it was a really good experience, and I hope to do it again.  For those of you that manage playdates on the regular, how do you socialize the kids effectively?  I find the twins do much better with my friend's child, a boy a few months younger than them.  He came over in the afternoon, and they all colored and played with blocks as a happy three-baby unit.  They also got some good tickling!

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