Resolutions 2016

In 2016, my largest goal is to regain control of my life. I do a lot of things, and in doing those things, I'm almost always frazzled, forgetting something, stressed out, late, not finishing what I need to finish because I overbooked, etc.

I have no sense of calm.

None.

That's the main goal this year. Get it together, me. Be that whole, calm, successful, ambitious person you want to be. Happy and hardworking, but not scattered, rushing around putting out fires I started with disorganization and too much on my plate.


With that in mind, my ten resolutions for this year:

10) Drink four glasses of water a day.

I get headaches frequently, and am often tired and just not feeling well. It's because I do not drink any water at all. I sometimes actually feel like I don't deserve water. That ends this year.

9) Do some form of exercise every day.

Things happen and I won't be able to make it to the gym every day or even three times a week, I'm sure. I won't always have a kid-free 45 minutes to run. So, even if I get in ten sit-ups or push-ups a day, or stretching for a half hour before bed, that will be enough. Just some form of extra exercise (meaning I can't count my walk to school with the kids) each day.

8) Read and journal every day.

Same goes for this as exercise. Even if I read one sentence and write one sentence in my journal, that will count. Just do it. And no internet reading. Book reading. I can find time for a sentence. And hopefully time for more than that.

7) Take care of myself in some way every day.

As with the water, I often skip meals, or showers, or allow my nails to get gnarly. I'll be too tired to even brush my teeth, and this morning was the first time I'd washed my face in I don't want to tell you how long. This year, I still may not shower every day (who has the time?!), but I will perform basic upkeep to ensure my body is being taken care of to at least its basic necessary level.

6) Stop smoking.

I have to really do this.

5) Stop biting my nails.

Same. Enough is enough.

4) Make $40,000 this year.

I don't care how this happens. If I cobble it together with my freelancing, or manage a book thingie, or through teaching jobs, or if I get a full-time thing. Just, do this.

3) Publish 100 pieces.

I made it to 80 this year. I can do 100.

2) Get some sort of big project off the ground.

Could it be the stalled book? One of the novels I have kicking around in my head? Another big thing I've not thought of? Something big and different. Something I have to allow myself to be open to in order to achieve it. Something outside of my comfort zone.

1) Save $5,000 for each of my kids to start the college fund.

I don't know if that is possible. Let's try.




And I make five resolutions specifically with regard to my children each year. This year, I resolve the following:

5) To keep with the scheduling and strike system.

This is a system that helps me keep my emotions out of parenting. It works on a set of strikes and stars and seems to work, when I can put the time in and follow through.

4) Help them study.

I have trouble keeping up with what they are being tested on, and they don't really tell me all that well. Sometimes, as a result, they'll bring home Cs instead of As because we didn't know there was a test. I don't want them to get used to that.

3) Have them read every day.

This year, including weekends.

2) Get them to stop competing and fighting so viciously.

I have no idea how to achieve this, but it is my biggest battle each day.

1) Play a game with them every day.

Some days this will have to be I-spy in the car as we shuttle from activity to activity. But some days, let's really try for board games, puzzles or imagination games at home. We can do this.

Couch to 5K Spotlight: Tiffiny Rossi

When Cassie Walling mentioned doing a Couch to 5K project to me, I agreed because it's a great idea! Little did I know how many of you were Couch to 5K professionals, or even marathon runners! The response has been astounding, and this week, for our member spotlight, we chose Tiffiny Rossi, who not only runs marathons, but just had a baby! She's kicking off her Couch to 5K with us, and here's what she had to say!

...

With two marathons and a half marathon, plus years of running for fun behind me, it should be relatively easy to pick up and start running again. The problem with a six-week-old baby and two other kids is that I can't seem to find enough time to get out there.

I feel a bit doughy 'round the middle from the weight I gained during pregnancy, which partly explains my itch to hit the trails again. But what's eating at me more than a few extra kilos is that my lungs feel out of shape. Likewise, my heart races when I climb the stairs in my home. I feel sluggish – like a ball of lead being tossed around inside a duffle bag full of mud. So when I saw that Darlena (parentwin.com) was putting together a couch-to-5K/running event, I figured this was a good time to get my arse in gear again. I'd hope to just make some time to do some 5 K runs at this point, but even better if I could get back under a 30-minute 5 K.

Anyway, Darlena sent over a few questions for me about my experiences with running. So here's what I've got:

1) What does running mean to you / what is your relationship with running?

Running is more than just an exercise I do to stay in shape. It's a journey inside my head, bringing me to experiences I've had before, experiences I'll have in the future, and experiences that may only play out as fantasies. Running is my time to visit old memories, plan my future, practice real life scenarios and confrontations, or to cook up stories I may later write or just act out as I run. Sometimes my thoughts drift toward lofty and aspirational, like the prospect of running two marathons at age 40. Other times I focus on the mundane – the little details like what decorations and food we'll have at my son's naming ceremony. Sure, I can contemplate these things without running. But when I'm out letting my feet fly, the endorphins produced by my body give me a boost of clarity and an extremely positive outlook on life.

2) What has been your typical training experience?

I've put myself through various training scenarios depending on my goal, for example: 30 minutes straight without walking, 5K, marathon, half-marathon, running in minimal shoes, and running a 5K under 30 minutes, to name a few. My experiences have been overwhelmingly positive and I've always been able to achieve my goal whenever I put my mind to it. And that's the important part. Once I've convinced myself, "I can do this," the physical training part is quite easy. That's not to say I haven't seen challenges along the way. When I do, I rely upon running communities on the internet and inspirational books about running to see me through.

3) Any tips or words of wisdom for those wanting to try this out?

• If you're just starting out, try setting a time goal rather than a distance goal. For example, set a 20-30 minutes goal at first, and...
• Alternate short spurts of running with periods of walking until you make your full time goal. In your first week, try to run for 30-60 seconds straight, then walk until you catch your breath again, then do another 30-60 second burst of running, and continue on until you make your 20-30 minute time goal.
• Build your running burst up slowly each week. After several weeks, you'll be running the whole 20-30 minute block.
• Take any negative thoughts during your run, acknowledge them, and turn them into something more aspirational. Don't block the feelings out, just invite them to come with you on the run. You'll notice the challenges will bother you a whole let less. For example, if you hate hills, say to yourself, "Hello hill, come run with me." If you feel a side cramp, say "Hello pain, come run with me."
• When you feel like things are going tough in any training program you're following, here's a good tip I learned. Tell yourself to TRY EASIER. That's right, don't buckle down and tell yourself what a wimp you are and try harder – lighten up on yourself a bit and relax instead. If you don't feel like taking a run one day, tell yourself it's ok and that you'll skip this one today, but be back on track the following day. Or mix things up a bit. Say you don't feel up to running one day, but you feel like maybe a walk or a swim or some work out in the garden would be acceptable. Do the "easier" or other activity you want to do instead of your run, and again, remember to tell yourself you'll be on track the next day.
• Read this book, even if you never want to run a marathon: The Non-Runner's Marathon Trainer. It has so many great tips and inspirational stories that just might want to make you run a marathon in the end.

Best of luck to you whatever your running goals are!

...

Thanks Tiffiny! Check out her blog, The copyverse!

If you want to run with your little ones in tow, make sure you check out these options!

If you are doing the Couch to 5K and would be interested in being highlighted, leave a comment here or on our Facebook page and we'll check you out, too!

 

Literopathy - Prescribing Books

I'm taking part in a great collaborative effort of ingenuity and genius that's called Literopathy. Over at this blog, people write in with problems they are experiencing in everyday life...and we prescribe them books. I have the honor of replying to this letter, sent in by anonymous.



"Hi, I'm smack dab in the middle of my life; a mother, wife and dutiful employee. I have heard the call of my heart, career wise (life wise, spirit wise) but don't know how to move from where I'm at to where I believe I need to be. The call is powerful and potent, but the restrictions are things of my own choosing and things I love and can't give up. Do I heed the call of the universe, and do what I'm supposed to do? If so, how? Or do I tend to practical things only. It seems so late in life to make such changes. What should I read to help me make my future clear?" 

Wouldn't it be nice to have a crystal ball, to just feel sure of where we're going and what we're doing? To have a goal, to know we're meant for great things, that all this humdrum and routine bull**** is actually worth something, actually going somewhere? Aren't we all adventurers in our own special ways?

And when we can't be adventuring, when we really can't make the endless piles of paperwork, red tape, dirty diapers and dishes, or what have you turn magically into creative fodder and ambitious design, don't we deserve to rekindle our lust for that spark. That you-must-do-this spark? Don't we all wish to see our protagonists hurled into a set of coincidences that force them into action, that not only pause their dull lives but alter that course forever?

The books we're about to recommend are not what one might call 'works of literary genius.' They haven't won (too many) prizes, or brought in accolades. In fact, some of them have been criticized a bit, and for good reason. If you're not willing to fly by the seat of your pants, let go of disbelief and truly adventure, these books aren't going to do it for you. But, trust this, they do do it. And that's important. And magical. And when I (the person writing this prescription, not the entire group) read them in my 20s, they completely turned my life around because I was able to grasp onto the inner context of the messages. I was able to turn the inspiration inward to myself. They gave me hope that I, too, could find that kind of hope, adventure, love, strength, definition in my life. If only I could let go of the practical, even just for moments at a time.

The important thing to remember is that to experience a change, you have to be open to it. You have to see it. And we cannot see change if we're knee-deep in laundry wishing the universe would just tell us already what the heck we're doing here. "Be the change you want to see in the world." Someone important said that. I'm sure creator of this site, Anne Theriault, knows who it is. But I don't, so just trust me.

Okay, with all this in mind, mid-life, routinized-to-death anon, here is a book that may convince you that you don't have to give up those daily choices you make to also follow your calling. That you have the ability to do both, if you just put faith in yourself and let life and all its unpredictability in just a little bit.

Here's the blurb on Goodreads (and I share it in its entirety for a reason, stand by.)

"The Celestine Prophecy contains secrets that are currently changing our world. Drawing on ancient wisdom, it tells you how to make connections among the events happening in your own life right now...and lets you see what is going to happen to you in the years to come!

A book that has been passed from hand to hand, from friend to friend, since it first appeared in small bookshops across America, The Celestine Prophecy is a work that has come to light at a time when the world deeply needs to read its words. The story it tells is a gripping one of adventure and discovery, but it is also a guidebook that has the power to crystallize your perceptions of why you are where you are in life...and to direct your steps with a new energy and optimism as you head into tomorrow."

In 2005, a friend of mine, a reporter I knew, handed me this book (along with Fierce Invalids Home from Hot Climates, which you should also read as it pertains to your interests). It was wrapped with a bow and everything, but it wasn't a present. "You need to read this now, I think," he said. And that was it.

And he was right. 

A reviewer sums it up fairly well: "On first read, I wanted to throw it in the bin. On the second read, I let go of the fact that it was badly written and the characters were bad and all the other flaws. I don't think it was ever intended to be a work of literary wonder but as an accessible vehicle for ideas."

That's what it looks like you're looking for. Ideas. And not Redfield's ideas, but your own ideas. In this way, your reading experience will mimic the actual prescription for you, which is, let go a little bit, let the small stuff slide, don't be so critical (of yourself), and allow others to help you find your way.

Now, if you really, truly hate this book (because a lot of people do! I'm going out on a limb here, recommending it to you), may I suggest as mentioned previously Fierce Invalids Home from Hot Climates by Tom Robbins. It's like The Celestine Prophecy only written well and funnier.

"Switters is a contradiction for all seasons: an anarchist who works for the government; a pacifist who carries a gun; a vegetarian who sops up ham gravy; a cyberwhiz who hates computers; a man who, though obsessed with the preservation of innocence, is aching to deflower his high-school-age stepsister (only to become equally enamored of a nun ten years his senior). Yet there is nothing remotely wishy-washy about Switters. He doesn’t merely pack a pistol. He is a pistol. And as we dog Switters’s strangely elevated heels across four continents, in and out of love and danger, discovering in the process the “true” Third Secret of Fatima, we experience Tom Robbins—that fearless storyteller, spiritual renegade, and verbal break dancer—at the top of his game. On one level this is a fast-paced CIA adventure story with comic overtones; on another it’s a serious novel of ideas that brings the Big Picture into unexpected focus; but perhaps more than anything else, Fierce Invalids is a sexy celebration of language and life."

Of course, there is also and always, Jonathan Livingston Seagull by Richard Bach.

"This is a story for people who follow their hearts and make their own rules...people who get special pleasure out of doing something well, even if only for themselves...people who know there's more to this living than meets the eye: they’ll be right there with Jonathan, flying higher and faster than ever they dreamed."

(Hey, at least I didn't recommend any Deepak Chopra, right?)


 

Fitness Corner Kickoff!

Before I let her introduce herself, I just have to say that Cassie is one of the most driven and inspiring people I know. That is all. We're in good hands with her.
...

Hello.

I'm Cassie. Darlena has graciously invited me to head up the Fitness Corner section of her blog. I'm honored to be here. And while I don't necessarily feel qualified to be considered an expert, I definitely have a lot of experience with the losing (and gaining) of weight and starting at the bottom to reach fitness goals.

Today something happened in my life that inspired me. At work we were discussing goals and living with intention. That actual discussion is fairly irrelevant but what came of the discussion is that I live my live and set goals with intention. When I set a goal, I mean to achieve it.

So, let's talk about fitness goals. The key to achieving fitness goals is to setting realistic ones.

For example, it is totally unrealistic for me to set a goal to lose 100lbs in a month without losing a limb or two. It is also totally unrealistic for me to believe I can go outside and run a marathon today if I haven't been training properly.

These are unrealistic goals. It certainly would be nice if I could plan to be 100lbs by May (my goodness, I would LOVE to!). A more reasonable goal is to decide I want to lose 5% of my weight and a realistic timeline is 1-2lbs per week. There are some truly wonderful free online resources to help with setting and attaining those goals. My favorites happen to be:

www.myfitnesspal.com
www.sparkpeople.com


These are online resources to help set caloric and fitness goals. All for free! They use social networking to aid in motivation. They have access to workout ideas and options. If you're not familiar with these site and looking into setting some physical goals, I highly recommend checking them out!

And what about those fitness goals? I happen to be a big believer in maintaining balance. One cannot expect to merely depend on a scale for health goals. Health is a many faceted subject.

I've been a bigger gal my whole life. Running days in PE used to be panic-inducing but in 2007 I discovered running. I started with a program called Couch to 5k. It took me through many 5ks and on up to half marathons. Running is my meditation. It can be the thing that keeps me going, the thing that keeps me proud of myself. In 2007 it took me nine weeks to go from a completely sedentary lifestyle to regularly participating in races. Even if you don't think running is your thing, I encourage you to look into the program and give it a try.

And if running truly isn't your thing? Why not set a goal for pushups?  The One Hundred Push Up plan takes you from one pushup to being able to do 100 pushups in just seven weeks!

Craving more? How about Two Hundred Situps?

I've found that using the plans on the sites listed above give me a sense of camaraderie and motivation when I need it the most. And when that isn't enough? Bloggers. The internet is full of inspirational people who have BEEN THERE and want to spread the word on how YOU CAN TOO.

Back to Her Roots and Runs For Cookies happen to be my personal favorites. These are ladies who are down in the trenches and know exactly how hard it can be but have also shown that anything is possible when you put your mind to it.


(I'm in no way affiliated with and of the websites listed in this post. They are just sites I've found helpful during my own journey).

Bio:

Cassie works for a small performing arts non-profit organization full time, is a mother, a wife, a friend,
and just trying to be the best she can be. Hard of hearing (working with musicians) and obese (loves
running), her life is a contradiction. She focuses on weight loss, fitness, goals and trying to obtain
balance in one's life. Cassie's hobbies are community involvement, enjoying the outdoors, horseback
riding, running, reading, and music.



 

To Plan or Not to Plan

Look, I'm a pantser. I don't plan. I never plan. Why? Because my plans are all shit, that's why. My plans never play out. I can't bend my life to my will, it's too chaotic. And if I waste my time making plans, then I have to plan for (see what I did there?) more time on the other end, to wallow in self-pity when those plans don't work.

I had one plan once. I was going to be an executive producer for a daily newscast in New York City. And I worked my ass off to make that happen. Then, my life, as it often does, threw me a huge curveball, from which I have only just barely recovered.

It took me years to accept that I was no longer on the hot-shot, young-thing-in-news track. I'm dried up. I'm no good. I've been out of the business for too long. I had a family instead. Oops.

Now, some people can do both, but in my particular case, things aligned in such a way that I would have had to sacrifice the comfort, stability and happiness of my family to continue on my track.

And you know what? I'm better for having gotten out. I never would have believed it at the time, but I've hoofed it and worked and plodded and now I have a new track, with better opportunities, better money (eventually), better hours, and just generally a better life.

So, when people ask me what I'm going to do with my graduate degree, I roll my eyes.

I don't know. I don't know, okay?

Because whatever I say, whatever long-term goal I set my sights on will fall through and I never, ever want to find myself thrown back to the basement, trying to figure out who I am.

I know who I am. I am a pantser.

I didn't know I was going to start a daily blog until I started it. I didn't know I was going to write a book (or six) until I wrote them. I didn't know I was going to have a family until I was pregnant. I didn't know I was even going to grad school until I applied.

I don't think about things anymore. I just do them. And with all the things I have to do, I don't have time to think. I know this sounds incredibly stupid, but it's working for me.

A new friend of mine and I were laughing just yesterday. If we were both being chased by tigers in the jungle, we would both (hopefully) survive. She would survive by hiding in the bunker she'd built meticulously over the months preceding the incident on the off-chance a tiger would ever chase her. I would survive by running my ass off and jumping into alligator-infested waters, holding my breath until the tiger lost interest, then swimming like hell to get away from the alligators.

Her way is better. But it doesn't work for me. Because I'd forget to lock my bunker door or some shit. I'm just bad at planning.

All these people in my classes are so passionate. They're there because they're passionate about changing the world, about personal growth, about being better and making better.

And I'm interested and intelligent and I can contribute to theoretical discussions with the best of them, but when  the professor goes around the room asking, why are you here? Passion is not going to be my answer.

I'm there because money.

I'm there because I'm lucky enough to have secured the money to go. I'm there because I hope to make more money in the future with it.

Does that make me an asshole? Yeah. Especially when confronted with the unabashed idealism of the other students.

But at least I'm an honest asshole.

So, why am I going to graduate school? What am I going to get out of it?

I don't know.

All I know is that I'm going to kick its butt, like I do everything else by working so hard my eyeballs fall out from exhaustion. And then I'm going to let things come. I'll work for them, I'll try for them, but I will not define them. Because I know the very second I say, "I want to work for so-and-so as a such-and-such" I will have effectively closed that door. Or worse I will have closed all the other possibly better doors that I cannot yet see at this time.

My goal is to go to grad school and be awesome. That's as far as I dare go. (And if you know me, even that's a stretch. Hah.)