Getting a Degree, Mommy Style in the Digital Age

I was talking with my mother the other day, and it occurred to me how much harder she had life in general, but more specifically, how hard she had to work to further her own education.

Now, I have it rough, in my whiny little opinion. And I'm only taking two classes. But the propensity of professors to insist that if you have a life beyond grad school you are not taking them seriously enough is ridiculous. People can live and still want to better themselves.

Side point: What is so bad about wanting to get a degree to land a better job? Wanting to make money and wanting to learn are not  mutually exclusive. And yet, to some professors' points of view, if you have any goal other than continuing research (which oftentimes I find inaccurate, inarticulate and self-congratulatory) you are a lesser human being. Why?

And the judgment and scorn these people have for their inferiors. The distaste they openly share for adjunct professors and teachers' assistants. It's...I'm not on board.

Anyway, tangent aside, when my mother put herself through this, she had to go part time (like me) because she also worked. And she also had three kids.

And unlike me, she didn't have Google Scholar. Can you imagine?

These days, if I want to write one of those intensely satisfying papers that explains oh-so-much about the world in which we live, all I have to do is type in my search terms and pages upon pages of studies come up, at my fingertips. I don't even have to know what I'm looking for ahead of time.

Show me selective exposure theory, internet!

My wish is its command.

Meanwhile, she had to go to the library, look up specific studies in the card catalogs, rent out books, transfer notes by hand, the nauseating list goes on. And if the library didn't have it, she had to order it from a different library, wait on them, go back, and do it all over again.

All to find a thought someone had thirty years ago, that they had to publish by citing fifty other people's thoughts from fifty years ago. And then she had to go find the cited thoughts too.

One of the best things that came out of a crappy paper I just read a few days ago (and no, I'm not citing it), is that while more and more people are attaining higher education, the amount of knowledge has remained the same. We're receiving degrees and not learning anything more. I would argue that it's not due to the people who want to get an A in class (as those people usually want to learn, too), but that the structural system of higher education is flawed in such a way that it is beginning to crumble.

I find academic citations no more enlightening than Fox News Political Pundits. They call themselves experts, but on what grounds? Have they even thought through any of these issues or have they simply regurgitated what others before them have thought? Then when they attempt a half-hearted application of old knowledge to new technology and don't back those claims up, those same claims become the basis for the next generation of scholarly papers, simply because they were published.

Obviously this isn't the case for all studies and papers. We need studies, we need papers, and many, many, many people do a good job. But many do not.

As we move forward into a world of online classes and learning, we will become even one more step removed from the sources of these papers. The knowledge will remain the same.

So, here's the main problem: If we all now need a master's degree to know the same amount we used to know from graduating high school, then we need to take another look at our education system. What could eventually happen is that only the rich will be allowed the opportunity to be educated even to the bare minimum of what is necessary in our society.

Like I said, I don't mind that grad school is now "easier" due to technology, or simply the massive amounts of published academic papers to choose from. By all means, lower the bar for me.

But what does that mean for our world as a whole? And how can we get back to learning for learning's sake? Or not even that. How can we get away from this judgmental assholery where someone who does not have a PhD., or a master's, or an undergrad degree doesn't get to have an educated opinion on an issue important to them?

I don't know. Grad school ponderings.






 

Life When Sick; Why Does It Go On?

You know what's hard? Going to school and being sick. I don't want to go to class today. I guarantee you the other students do not want me to go to school today. Whatever I have is bad. My head hurts so much I can hardly look at this screen. I just want to go back to bed. But I can't.

Because the professor's sick policy is: "We don't care if you are dead. You come to class. Attendance is mandatory." Now, I'm sure there must be some provision for a doctor's note, an excused absence or something, but you know what's even harder for me than getting to school for 12:50 today? Finding a doctor, getting an appointment, paying a $50 copay, and getting a note. Then how do I get the note to her? She probably has a fax number, but I don't know it. So add finding the professor's fax number to that list of things to do. And I'd have to do all of this with my kids, because to get a doctor's note before 12:50 means I'm not going to be able to bring them to school. (They're better today.)

So, I'll just go. I'll bring disinfectant stuff, and maybe even a mask because I wouldn't wish this bug on my worst enemy. I'll try not to sleep in class, and muddle through somehow. Then I'll come home and write another paper, due at midnight.

I don't really have a point here. I'm too sick to have a point. All I know is that I don't support having to get a doctor's note when you're sick. It's too hard.

Life goes on. Sorry everyone in that class. I will do my best not to get you sick. I'd skip this if I could.




 

To Plan or Not to Plan

Look, I'm a pantser. I don't plan. I never plan. Why? Because my plans are all shit, that's why. My plans never play out. I can't bend my life to my will, it's too chaotic. And if I waste my time making plans, then I have to plan for (see what I did there?) more time on the other end, to wallow in self-pity when those plans don't work.

I had one plan once. I was going to be an executive producer for a daily newscast in New York City. And I worked my ass off to make that happen. Then, my life, as it often does, threw me a huge curveball, from which I have only just barely recovered.

It took me years to accept that I was no longer on the hot-shot, young-thing-in-news track. I'm dried up. I'm no good. I've been out of the business for too long. I had a family instead. Oops.

Now, some people can do both, but in my particular case, things aligned in such a way that I would have had to sacrifice the comfort, stability and happiness of my family to continue on my track.

And you know what? I'm better for having gotten out. I never would have believed it at the time, but I've hoofed it and worked and plodded and now I have a new track, with better opportunities, better money (eventually), better hours, and just generally a better life.

So, when people ask me what I'm going to do with my graduate degree, I roll my eyes.

I don't know. I don't know, okay?

Because whatever I say, whatever long-term goal I set my sights on will fall through and I never, ever want to find myself thrown back to the basement, trying to figure out who I am.

I know who I am. I am a pantser.

I didn't know I was going to start a daily blog until I started it. I didn't know I was going to write a book (or six) until I wrote them. I didn't know I was going to have a family until I was pregnant. I didn't know I was even going to grad school until I applied.

I don't think about things anymore. I just do them. And with all the things I have to do, I don't have time to think. I know this sounds incredibly stupid, but it's working for me.

A new friend of mine and I were laughing just yesterday. If we were both being chased by tigers in the jungle, we would both (hopefully) survive. She would survive by hiding in the bunker she'd built meticulously over the months preceding the incident on the off-chance a tiger would ever chase her. I would survive by running my ass off and jumping into alligator-infested waters, holding my breath until the tiger lost interest, then swimming like hell to get away from the alligators.

Her way is better. But it doesn't work for me. Because I'd forget to lock my bunker door or some shit. I'm just bad at planning.

All these people in my classes are so passionate. They're there because they're passionate about changing the world, about personal growth, about being better and making better.

And I'm interested and intelligent and I can contribute to theoretical discussions with the best of them, but when  the professor goes around the room asking, why are you here? Passion is not going to be my answer.

I'm there because money.

I'm there because I'm lucky enough to have secured the money to go. I'm there because I hope to make more money in the future with it.

Does that make me an asshole? Yeah. Especially when confronted with the unabashed idealism of the other students.

But at least I'm an honest asshole.

So, why am I going to graduate school? What am I going to get out of it?

I don't know.

All I know is that I'm going to kick its butt, like I do everything else by working so hard my eyeballs fall out from exhaustion. And then I'm going to let things come. I'll work for them, I'll try for them, but I will not define them. Because I know the very second I say, "I want to work for so-and-so as a such-and-such" I will have effectively closed that door. Or worse I will have closed all the other possibly better doors that I cannot yet see at this time.

My goal is to go to grad school and be awesome. That's as far as I dare go. (And if you know me, even that's a stretch. Hah.)



 

Going Back, Way Back

Yesterday was my first day of graduate school. I raced from the preschool drop off to the school's parking garage. From door to door, it only took me a half hour.

I sat outside for a bit, waiting for the course to begin. I was nervous as anything. Everyone was pretty young. Does no one go back to school for their degree any more?

I'd brought my laptop just in case. Who knows how people take notes these days. Just the other day, a teacher friend of mine posted a picture of kids taking pictures of the white screen. Wow, really?

I just want to lay this out.

The last time I went to school:

- Internet Explorer was the cool browser. (Way better than Netscape, seriously.)

- Napster was a thing.

- Facebook didn't exist.

- We saved our papers on floppy discs. (I had never seen a thumb drive.)

- Comic Sans was acceptable.

- We used printers at the library.

- Assignments were due at the next class...because physically carrying a paper to a professor was the only way to hand it in.

- We used 35mm cameras.

- I had one teacher with a Palm Pilot. And she was so proud of it, she mentioned her Palm Pilot four to five times a class.

- Having Toad the Wet Sprocket play automatically as your crappy webpage you made with the first edition of Dreamweaver or Pagemaker ever was the height of sophistication.

- We had to pay for delivery of the New York Times to our dorm rooms for journalism classes.

- We had to buy our books at the campus bookstore. Other options didn't exist or were very difficult.

- Ebooks didn't exist.

- Libraries used physical card catalogs.

- Lexus Nexus was the best thing ever.

- Learning to use microfiche was very important.

- Color coding sections of text in your word document (or Word Perfect, remember that?) was as complicated as note organization programs got.

- TI-82 calculators. That is all.

- Professors used laminates, white boards and chalk boards.

- A Power Point presentation was impressive. (At least two rungs above using poster board.)

- Mechanical pencils were cool.

- Slides. Grainy, awful photos, blown up too much, one after another after another. Click.


I mean, nowadays, did people even use notebooks and pens anymore? Would everyone whip out their tablet and go to town?

Any advice on this new fangled going-to-school thing is welcome.

Just don't tell me to get rid of my Trapper Keeper. You will have to pry the hot pink snow leopards on the moon from my cold, dead hands.

 

Guest Post: Thinking of Going Back to School? How to Balance Education with Motherhood

Today I've got a guest post about going back to school as a mom, which is great, since I'll be starting on my Master's degree come January.

In this modern day and age, women are as much capable of providing for their children as men do. Yet in order to secure better paying jobs and a promising career path that can assure their family's financial stability, single mothers often have to go back to school to accomplish a degree. While throwing yourself back to college may seem physically and mentally challenging, the actual ordeal is balancing your educational responsibilities and family obligations. Absorbing all the things you are taught at school on a daily basis while making sure your baby has enough diapers or formula will be extremely difficult to juggle. Below are key pointers to remember in order to successfully balance education and motherhood.

Have a Plan
Planning thoroughly will help you balance these two exhaustively demanding aspects of your life. A daily and weekly plan will keep your baby needs well supplied while also allowing you to fulfill school requirements. Most colleges provide the privilege of adjusting your subjects and schedules. Make sure you take advantage of this privilege though. Remove as many free periods in between subjects as you can, so that you can go home earlier and attend to your children's needs. During your school breaks, use the time wisely by creating a shopping plan for your baby's supplies. You can also use this free time to accomplish school assignments in advance.

Online Courses
With technology advancing to immense heights, different industries are now able to offer better solutions, one of which is online courses. It is indeed possible and even increasingly prevalent to earn a college degree right from the comforts of your home. There are diverse benefits to securing a degree via the Internet. This option allows single mothers to finish a course while still being able to monitor their children closely. Moreover, it saves time and energy from having to commute back and forth from the facility, resources that mothers could be using to get some much needed rest or to care for their children.

Involve Your Children
If they are old enough, say 8 years old or above, teach your children to perform simple enough chores on their own. This may include tidying up their playroom after their finished playing, putting their dirty clothes in the laundry bin, or cleaning up after they finish eating. This not only helps you conserve time and energy, but also allows your children to establish a sense of responsibility. Of course, as a parent, you must always ensure the activities your children engage in are utterly safe.

Hire a Nanny
If you have a young children, it may be sensible to hire a nanny. Hired helpers can perform general home cleaning and child care while you're away. Though it does cost money, you will be able to ensure that your child is safe and given adequate care and attention during your absence.

Overall, balancing education with motherhood will be a very stressful process. However, given the right plan, family teamwork, and determination to achieve your set goals, the process is completely possible.

Jessica Ford writes about education, parenting and more. Her proudest work is on the best online masters degrees.





 

Why Shit Never Gets Done

Look, being a grown up is really hard, okay? Especially when you fake the most important bits. I don't understand my tax forms, I can't / don't balance a check book, I let my documents expire, and I lose everything. I can't keep receipts or confirmation numbers. I don't find a new doctor when I move places, I don't explore my health insurance options or know anything about them.

Why?

It's all a huge pain in the ass.

Now, it's incredibly difficult to be a parent when you're such an obvious twelve year old, yourself. I mean, how long can I go around screaming, "I don't wanna!"

Apparently for a good ten years at a stretch. But then, all the little ass pains...well, they combine into one gigantic ass pain usually under pressure and on a deadline. Not doing things because you don't need to is not a good reason. Because then when you do need to, well, you're shit out of luck and you gave yourself five minutes.

Awesome.

Let me explain. I'll start at the beginning and pile this upon you so heavily you'll be trapped in red tape for days, nay, months. (Or you would be, if you were me.)

I have been accepted to the University of Florida as a graduate student. Awesome, right?! Yeah. Except they want to charge me out-of-state rates. Why? Because I cannot prove that I have lived in Florida for more than two years.

Well, simple. Just provide us your vehicle registration, your license and your voter's registration. They all have to be FL documents of more than a year old, but that should be no problem.

Only it is.

My license is still Connecticut. Because it doesn't expire until 2016. Yes, I know it's against the law, but I only really drive down the street anyway. Plus, maybe we'll be back in CT in 2016, right? We can hope.

My voter's registration is from this year. Because I didn't need to vote until this year. Which means I only have the registration.

Okay, so go get a new license, right? Easy.

Except I need an official birth certificate. Now, if I were an adult, I'd have that readily available. But I don't keep important documents, apparently, and I don't have one. So I have to order one from Connecticut. Awesome. (I also need my Social Security Card (I know I have that somewhere), a billion pieces of mail, my marriage certificate...which I have! WOO HOO! and a bunch of other crap. And money. And people wonder why I didn't do this earlier.)

Don't have your birth certificate? That's okay. Just bring your passport instead. But my passport is expired. Because I haven't traveled out of the country since 2007, and I first got it in 1999. Awesome.

Well, can I just order a new passport? Sure. That will be a billion dollars and 4-6 weeks processing. And the marriage certificate...which, again, I have! WOO HOO!

Okay, so once I order the birth certificate and I bring all that garbage to the DMV, then I can have a new license. Given times and that we're traveling over Thanksgiving, this puts me into December.

Then I can bring the new license and the voter's reg to the school, but it won't be enough because I didn't do this two years ago.

I'll also need a letter from my management company (which I only go through after going through my landlord who is the actual person who deals with the company) on official letterhead, the girls' doctor and school records, utility bills (which aren't in my name, so I'll need, again, the marriage certificate...which I have! WOO HOO!), my husband's vehicle registration, and God knows what else.

And you know what? That still might not be enough. Then my case goes to admission jury where they can just say no.

And then I don't go to school.

Lesson here? Just be an adult. It's easier in the long run. Plus it will teach your children priorities.

Really, it's a pity they don't want things like 'baby's first haircut,' or 'baby's baptism candle' or 'every birthday card you've ever received.'

Those are, apparently, the things I keep around.