Gazelles and Elephants: Fitting in at five years old -- Contributor Post

Pi and Phi are 5 now. They attend Kindergarten (two different classes so they can both shine their stars individually as bright as possible). They both insisted that they are old enough to ride the bus to school, and because the bus is actually available to them now that they are in Kinder, I agreed. So they ride the bus to school every school day morning.

I drop them off and watch them interact at the bus stop with the other kids. They’re the only Kinder kids in our little neighborhood, so mostly the big kids are leaving them alone and letting them run around like animals waiting for the bus.

Run around they do, too. Every single day, they drop their packs in the bus shelter and then have races from one sign to the other. About 200 feet of a race they do over and over until the bus gets there. Squealing, rambunctious, and overall dorky. Phi runs with his hands clutched high to his sides, a bit like a T-Rex. A smile of pure happiness. His feet hit the ground with the strange, awkward, delicate gait so familiar to other parents who have children on the spectrum. Toes pointed down, still somewhat clompy somehow. Like an elephant doing ballet. So happy.

Pi’s arms are thrown back and her clomping hits whole foot down, her face also has the same smile. So happy. She is a gazelle.

The other kids are mostly silent while Pi and Phi enact these daily races. Pi and Phi encircle them, run between them, around them, near them. You can see the other kids pull back, stare at them. I want to tell Pi and Phi to chill. Be cool. The kids are judging them. I keep my mouth shut. One kid does a mock tiptoe of Phi to his other friends, and they cover their mouths to smile behind their hands. They know better than to laugh where parents can see them. Phi doesn’t notice, just keeps running. Keeps being happy.

I want to scream at these kids. You think it’s awesome that you can run better than him? Running is hard for him. He’s a different animal. You are gazelles, and he is an elephant. His squealing trumpet of glee comes from a differently shaped throat than your own. Is it such a point of pride that yours was shaped different? Do you work for hours to make your gazelle throat shape the sounds that all the other gazelles make?

No he does not have grace. What he has, instead, is hard work. He has perseverance. Thank goodness that’s part of the package with Autism. The same thing that makes him line up puzzles for hours is what makes it possible for him to make words that others understand. He works past the point of wanting to stop. I am furiously proud of his words.

I remember his testing, and them asking us for a list of his words. For a week we tried to put together even ten words that he said at the age of 18 months. Duck. Ball. … Umm.. Daddy? We struggled to find any words that he had actually said. Now, at age 5, his vocabulary is huge. He inherits the wide breadth of spoken word that his father and I use daily, and it shows.

But the kids at the bus stop don’t see that he is a hard working elephant stuck in the land of the graceful gazelles. They see that he is not part of their herd. They close ranks.

So he runs with Pi. Pi who doesn’t care, yet, about gazelles and elephants. All animals are different to her. She takes it in stride.

I want the other kids at the bus stop to see what she sees. I want them to feel the pure joy that he feels.

I’m proud of my mismatched animals, and so furious at the herd that closes them both out. I know that in their classes there are other mismatched animals, and they find them and befriend them. The herd at the bus stop is not their whole world of experience, but only a small window onto it.

I also know that the herd at the bus stop is going to grow. That as they get bigger, it will become more and more evident how different they both are to the herds they encounter. Him for his everything, and her for her acceptance of these things and for her own differences. That the ruthlessness of peers will run their world for the next fifteen some odd years. There is not a thing I can do to change it.

I know that they are going to spend their lives collecting their own herds of mismatched animals. I hope they do not spend too long trying to assimilate into herds that are not their own and do not accept them. I also feel sad for the limited scope of the herd of gazelles at the bus stop. They have not yet learned the value of the different animals. I hope they learn it someday.


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Polly is a twin mother who writes at Pollychromatic. Check out her blog.




 

Model what you want to see

As my girls age, I notice that they sometimes work out their issues through role playing games. These are spontaneous. They occur basically out of nowhere. One girl will perhaps do something that reminds her or her sister of us, their parents, and it spins off wildly from there.

When this happens, I believe my husband and I don't make the best of it right yet. I noticed it this evening.

Dulce had started play acting that her daddy was her, and she was me, and they had to go to school (something she's been having trouble with this week). Her dad, thinking it was funny, was making a show of protesting, moving slow and not listening.

And it hit me.

Nope.

I shouted jovially that in this game we did what mommy said, we walked quickly, we paid attention, we got to school on time. Dulce was having a ball bossing her daddy around the way her perspective sees me as the evil overlord, but from that point on, her daddy was a very obedient little boy.

Lilly took her turn with me, and acted out the scene from this weekend where she'd had to be away from her twin for the first time ever. I played her, and gave validity to her anxieties, but went along willingly on the adventure and told her that she was right, I had had a good time afterward.

These games might not mean anything to the kids. But if they do, if my kids are trying to process correct behavior through this, I hope that we can guide them in the right direction so that they feel comfortable during the real deal.

Who knows...maybe we'll even get to school on time tomorrow. One can always hope.





 

My Son Was Bullied - Contributor Post

Alex Nguyen of Alex Nguyen Portraits speaks to an increasing problem as our children grow up. Bullying and what to do when it happens to your family.

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Last year, at the tail end of August, my husband and I casually talked to my son Samuel about school starting. We asked all the parent questions like, are you excited to see your friends? What are you looking forward to learning about the most? Anything that you want to talk to mommy and daddy about? He rattled off the expected answers such as, he was excited to see such-and-such friend; he wanted to know if he'd be able to check out such-and-such book during Library; and he wanted to see how much he'd grown against his buddies.

 

What we weren't expecting was his hesitation, and confession that he was scared, and worried about going back to school to see a specific classmate. At my son's school, he is in cooperative program where from first through sixth grade, he has the same classmates and they all move up together through elementary. So while it's lovely to know that he'll always be in the same class with his friends, this was the first time that we heard about him fearing a fellow classmate.

We talked to him about his concerns and fears, and he said that his classmate John* wasn't very nice. John was loud, disrespectful, mean to other kids, told lies, and not a rule follower. When Samuel was around John, it would make him feel anxious inside. I talked to my son about how sometimes kids don't know how to make friends, and they act mean because they don't know how to be kind. I told him about modeling kindness, including John in activities at recess, in games, and we brainstormed ideas on how he could interact with John to alleviate his concerns and fears before school started.

School started, and my husband and I checked in with Samuel to see how things were going daily. About three weeks into school, my son told me that John had hit him at recess. I asked him what were the circumstances, and basically they were playing a game. John was showing off and doing "karate moves", Samuel asked him to stop, John continued doing it and made physical contact with my son more than once. My son reported it to the playground supervisor, who followed up with John. I emailed my son's teacher at once to see her take on the situation. I got no response. I emailed again, and again, and left messages on the school voice mail. By this time, a week had passed since the initial incident, and my son came home to tell me that John had kicked him at recess again. He also mentioned that John had stolen stuff out of Samuel's desk, and taken Samuel's school stuff from his backpack. Just matter of fact, while he was telling me about his day.

This time, I emailed the teacher, I emailed the principal, and I went to the school to talk to the teacher. I asked my son if he had reported it to anyone, and he said he had told his teacher who said she didn't see it and wanted kids to "work it out" amongst themselves. For recess he had told the playground supervisor, but John had run away and hidden, so he wasn't sure what had happened. I finally cornered the teacher to set up a meeting time with me to specifically talk my concerns that maybe John was bullying Samuel.

Her responses to me: "I haven't seen anything, so it didn't happen" "It's never happened to me before in all my years of teaching" "Do you really believe the word of a seven-year-old boy?" "Well, I think the class is bullying John, not the other way around."

She wouldn't take my concerns that my son was being HIT BY A CLASSMATE seriously. She wouldn't take my concerns that maybe my son was being bullied by a classmate seriously. And she blamed my son. When we finally met up with the administration, two and a half weeks after the initial physical hitting incident, we were told that we could only discuss things moving forward, and we couldn't discuss anything that happened in the past.

To say that I was livid would be an understatement. The cherry on top of the under-responsive teacher and school administration sundae was that my son came home the day of our meeting to tell me that John had hit him again on the playground.

After calling the Vice Principal again, we had an action plan in place. But, I had to really advocate for my child, since his first line of defense, his teacher who should have been protecting him, would not believe him. She even marked him down on his report card, stating that my son had social issues and did not accept others' behaviors (because he would not get along with his bully in his classroom - even though he got along with everyone else, and was even chose as ASB representative for his grade).

The action plan we finally got in place for my son was this: my son and John had weekly separate meetings with the Vice Principal starting in October, and lasting through April. All adults in charge were made aware of the situation, and knew to at least acknowledge my son when he came up with them to tell them of John's behavior (a simple, "I hear your words" was all we were requesting from them). His teacher, parent volunteers, the P.E./Music/Librarians/Spanish teacher all knew. My son also had a daily check in with his teacher to make sure that things were okay.

I also starting volunteering in his classroom weekly to keep an eye out on things. My husband started volunteering during recess whenever possible to also check on things. It took a lot of effort, and a lot of pushing from us as parents to have the school take us seriously that this was a problem. As a parent, it is a nightmare when your child is being bullied and no one at your child's school takes your seriously.

My advice is to be persistent and document everything (emails, phone calls; make a spreadsheet if you need to of actions taken, who you contacted, if there was any follow up). Make your voice heard, even if the administration thinks you are overboard. Make sure there is an action plan in place for future incidents, and that EVERYONE knows it - playground supervisors, even substitute ones. Parent volunteers in the classroom. Teachers. Vice Principals. Everyone should know.

Changes can be as simple as making sure your child and their bully are not sitting at the same table group in a classroom. If the school doesn't take you seriously, check with your school district website. I found out that our school district actually had something called a Bullying Advocate for parents/students. This was a third person liason that would work with parents with resources, and give us ideas on how to approach the administration better. At the end of the day, you are the best advocate you have for your child, and you know what is right for them.

 




 

An Open Letter to a Third Grader's Teacher - Contributor Post

We all have back-to-school jitters, and things we want our children's teachers to know, so that we can give them the best start possible to every school year. Sometimes knowing what to say, and what not to, can really help. Accidentally Mommy helps me out.

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An open letter to a new teacher at the start of a new year. Since we can’t actually make our correspondence to our childrens’ educators both confessionals and on-our-knees pleas for help where we’ve failed in the past, I couldn’t actually send this. It was written, though. Here you go, Village. I wrote mine—don’t feel foolish if you’ve ever written or need to write yours. And as you save it to gather dust in the drafts folder, remember one thing: No matter your fears and concerns at the beginning of each year, sometimes just the change in and of itself is all that we need to find balance again. Dancing Queen has found her love for school again, without my tear-stained e-mail going out to her teacher after the first week.

Dear Mrs. 3rd Grade,

First off, I want to say thank you. Upon reflection, I realized when we were talking that I was pointing out many of Dancing Queen's weaknesses. You lead only with her strengths. That means a lot to me, and I wanted you to know that it didn't go unnoticed.

Dancing Queen is a very, very special person. I know every parent says that, and for every parent, it's true. I see a strength of character in Dancing Queen that I don't see in many other people, though -- adult or child. As you said, she's a very social individual and genuinely interested in being friends with just about everyone. I've had the chance in the past to observe her in a social situation that another person could have handled in a much more negative way. Instead of reacting with scorn, or suspicion, or gawking curiosity, she reacted only with a smile and an offer of friendship. While the children around her were making fun or asking hurtful questions, she was standing up to bullies and holding her new friend's hand. I have encouraged tolerance and good will in her from the beginning, but I cannot in good conscience claim to be the reason for her good nature. That would be a false humblebrag; kindness is simply a part of who she is. Don't get me wrong -- I'm not saying she's without fault. She's eight. She has the same quirks and frustrations that come with being eight and expanding her boundaries. She has a good heart, though.

You'll have to bear with me. I can get verbose and sometimes it takes me a little while to get to my point, which is why I wanted to email you instead of talking to you tonight. It takes far less time to skim an e-mail than it does to listen to a parent awkwardly fumble through trying to get their thoughts to come out right.

As her new teacher, you need to know that she didn't have the strongest start in school, and I feel like you need some of her history. Pre-K was marred by drama with her father and the very difficult pregnancy and subsequent birth of her brother who was very ill at the beginning. Because of this, she didn't have a parent who was the most engaged and involved. This continued into kindergarten, as I was consumed with maintaining her brother's health. We have a very strong support system in my parents and my siblings, but that can't always replace having mom directly involved. First grade found her with a teacher that was very clearly under personal strains who unfortunately took it out on her classroom. Dancing Queen is a very, very sensitive child. She's naturally averse to conflict and sensitive to what she perceives to be negative judgment. She was made to feel inadequate a handful of times, and that was enough to start the downhill slide. By the time second grade rolled around, she found that she dreaded school and everything about it. She dreaded tests. She dreaded reading. She dreaded writing. She felt like her teacher was passing constant judgment on her, and because of that often felt persecuted, even though she was reassured at home that this surely wasn't the case. Still, though, I met with her teacher early in the year to discuss these feelings she had, and I was met with a stony expression and monotone, emotionless, flat answers to my questions. Questions that I should have been asking all along, like "What are some suggestions for things I can do to enrich her at home and help her to enjoy learning again?" Questions of that nature were answered with "I don't know." Fast forward to this summer, and we have a normally bright, sassy little girl presenting herself dimmed, defeated, convinced that school sucks and she just doesn't want to go.

I don't want that for her. And I see that in your class, that won't be the expected behavior. While she will still answer when asked what she likes about school is that there's pizza and fruit-flavored water, it is my dream that she tacks on something about actually receiving her education, too.

Now that I have that said and out of the way, there are some other important things you need to know. Dancing Queen, as I said, is a worrier. She is definitely her mother's child in that she dwells on things that bother her and lets them interfere with her daily life sometimes. Her biggest school-related anxieties are centered primarily on test taking and reading/writing. Some things were said to her last year that she interpreted to mean that she wasn't good enough, wasn't smart enough, to succeed this year.

 In addition to this, Dancing Queen is also epileptic. The medication she's on can sometimes have an effect on her mood, sleeping patterns, and even her short-term memory. If she seems more forgetful, it is possibly a side effect of her meds.

(Disclaimer: I won't pull the meds card if you come to me and tell me that you truly feel she isn't paying attention. I'm not that parent. Please, please, please let me know if you feel that her behavior is questionable. I don't allow her medical condition to be a cover for lack of effort.)

She needs to play catch-up at home, particularly with her writing skills (punctuation, grammar, vocab, and sentence structure specifically,) and to discover a love for reading. I am the first to admit, though, that I don't make a very good instructor. I know I already ask a great deal of you by simply sending my child to be your student, but may I ask for a little bit more help? Can you point me in the direction of some resources  that I can employ at home that take a fun approach to these subjects so that she and I can work on them diligently without frustrating each other to the point of misery?

Thank you so much for your time, and thank you so much for your dedication to the kids. I wasn't paying lip service when I said earlier that I'm excited for this year. I'm truly  looking forward to being more involved with both her and you.

Sincerely,

Accidentally Mommy





 

Ask a Teacher: What to Do About Bullies?

Now that school is back in full swing, you may be noticing some social problems you'd hoped you wouldn't have to deal with. Namely, bullying. Teacher Emilie Blanton from Teaching Ain't for Heroes gives advice on what parents can do about this common, but shitty, reality.

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Bullying is a huge issue in schools. It's been an issue. It will continue to be an issue. Bullying will involve your child at some point in their lives. I get so many questions about bullying, I decided to tackle several of them at once. Bullying is persistent, aggressive behavior that is meant to emotionally or physically harm another individual. Bullying takes on many forms, from passive aggressive insults to outright physical assaults. All forms are serious and dangerous and need to be stopped.

How do I keep my child from being bullied?

Unless you lock them in a bubble, there's no way to shield your child from bullies. Even if you homeschool your child, there's the park, birthday parties and the eventual real adult world filled with bullies to deal with. Someone is going to attempt to bully your child at some point. Bully-proofing your child is important. Building up your child's confidence is the first step. Give them a happy, safe home to come to. Encourage them to advocate for themselves. Teach them the difference between tattling and advocating. Be there for them. If their attempts to stand up for themselves fail, be there to back them up. Realize that sometimes they have to fight their own battles and always be an open, caring person for them to talk to. You can't protect them from everything, but you can give them tools to help keep them happier.

Help! My child is being bullied!

Again, teach your child to advocate. Approach the teacher first and let them know what you know. Be as specific as possible. "Little Johnny is making my daughter uncomfortable. He pokes her and pulls her hair. It needs to stop." Don't vaguely state that Little Johnny is bullying your child, say what exactly is going on. The more specific you can be, the better. This part is important. Not all teachers will take action. Make sure you are recording when you talked to the teacher and what was said. Email is perfect for this. If the bullying is still going on, move a level up and seek out a counselor or administrator. The next step after that is the school board. Record everything and be as specific as possible.

Remain calm as you talk to each person. It is hard. Your child is being targeted and it feels horrible. Be firm. Be confident. Hold your head up and demand respect for your child's well being. Screaming and yelling won't get anything done faster, but that might be what you want to do. It's okay to have a strong reaction to your child being targeted. Staying calm will help you remember everything you want to say. If you need to, when speaking to someone in person, bring notes or index cards with important information. There's nothing wrong with having reminders to help you. I go into meetings with notes and you can, too. If you get flustered, take a moment, breathe and begin again. Your child deserves to feel safe and it's okay if you need to take a little longer than intended to ensure that safety.

I've failed. My child is a bully.

You haven't failed. Not all bullies are budding sociopaths bent on tyranny and extra milk money. Bullies come in all shapes and sizes, from all types of families. Your child stumbled while learning to walk. They're going to stumble while learning to be a decent human being. Haven't we all?

If you are contacted about your child being a bully, don't go on the defensive. It's okay to be concerned. It's not okay to try to explain it away. Regardless of the reason your child may be bullying others, it does need to stop. If you explain it away to the teacher or administrator, you might start explaining it away to your child and they'll think the behavior is okay. Talk to your child. Impress upon them the importance of empathy. Remind them what it feels like when others are mean to them. Break out that old phrase "treat others as you'd want to be treated!" Just don't brush it off. Don't say "Well, kids will be kids." Yes, kids will be kids, but it is on us to make sure that they grow and develop into decent human beings capable of love and compassion.

The other parents are bullying me!

They probably are. I know people say that middle school is when bullying is the worst, but I'd posit adults are the worst bullies. There are mommy bullies, work bullies, frenemies and more. Hold your head up. Don't get sucked into the drama. It's hard to resist. I know. I've been there. Be a positive example to your child about how one deals with bullies. Be confident and avoid the people who cause the worst stress.


 

Ask a Teacher: How Can I Help my School?

Emilie over at Teaching Ain't for Heroes addresses how parents can help their school systems at the beginning (and throughout) the year. Thanks, Emilie!

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School is about to begin across the US (or has just started depending on where you are). Whether you know it or not, there is a need at your school. One of my most common questions I get as a teacher is what individuals can do to help out at their school or other local schools. Here are some simple ways you can help out and make a difference.

1. Buy a few extra supplies from your supply list.

Every year, there is at least one kid whose parents won't or can't buy their child's school supplies. Often times the teacher either has to pay for these items out of her own pocket or the child has to use secondhand supplies. It might seem minor, but when everyone else is getting out their brand new Crayolas and you're using half-sized store brand crayons, it can be sad for that child. Often stores have a buy one, get one sale going on so close to school anyway, so pick up an extra pack of crayons or extra pencils while you're on your Back to School Target run and give them to the teacher explaining that you bought extra on purpose.

2. Donate old books, magazines or other texts to a local school.

I know you remember cutting stuff out of old magazines in school. Where do you think those magazines came from? Sometimes teachers have subscriptions or doctors offices donate their old periodicals. If you happen to have any old magazines or any old texts, call up a local school and let them know what you have. There is often a place for teachers to look through donated materials that people bring in. You don't even have to be affiliated with the school to do this, so if you have elementary aged children but high school level texts, you can call the high school and drop off the items. The big thing is to let the school know that you are coming.

3. Buy or find some extra school clothes.

If your school has a uniform or dress code, pick up some extra polos or pants the next time you see a sale. This is something I'd encourage you to do throughout the year if you're able to. If your school has no dress code, pick up any generic clothes you can on the cheap. Look through your children's old clothes and see what's still presentable to donate to the school. Remember that not all children are "average" sized and some times even your adult sized clothes can work. As long as the clothes are clean and intact, your donation could mean the world to a kid who has an accident at school or maybe even has come to school in the exact same shirt since the school year began.

4. DonorsChoose

So maybe none of those ideas are what you're looking for. If you'd like to just donate money and leave the shopping to someone else. You can search for schools in your area and pick what project you want to donate to after reading about the teacher and her class. I recently submitted a DonorsChoose project (no, I'm not plugging myself, I'm already fully funded!) and I was very pleased with the experience on my end. The teacher first has to pick out resources that are purchased for the teacher, so you don't have to worry about your money being used for any nefarious purposes.

5. Ask the teacher.

If all else fails, ask the teacher what she needs. Maybe there's a student who never has lunch and she could use some shelf stable food to keep in her room to help him out. Maybe a student has had a family emergency and has some specific needs. You'll never know unless you ask!




 

First Day of School

Well, last night was rough, I didn't sleep well. My kids are kindergarteners now, and that's kind of a big step...for me. Hopefully not for them, right? Anyway, here are a few snaps we managed to get off at 7:30 a.m. this morning. (Way, WAY earlier than we're all normally awake, by the way.)

Happy school, everyone.



 

Being the Allergy Mom - Guest Post

My kids are allergy-free, but when they went to preschool, there were several allergies we had to be mindful of. I always tried to make our snacks universal for all, to avoid what Debby has graciously offered to write down for me...the seclusion of the kids with allergies, and the deadly consequences if that seclusion isn't followed correctly.

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Let’s say you bring your family into a local deli to order lunch, and while they are grilling your sandwiches you notice a large, open canister of Rat Poison sitting right next to the bread and lunchmeat the cook is preparing.  When you bring it up, the lady at the counter waves her hand dismissively.  “Don’t worry,” she says, “we only use that on the left side of the grill.”

You drop your child off at her first day of pre-school, and while she’s gripping your hand tightly, the teacher talks to her about all the fun things she’ll do there.  “And you can play with cyanide,” the teacher says, kindly.

“Cyanide?” you ask with concern, “I can’t have her playing with that. I’m sorry but…”

The teacher looks at you funny and says, “Well okay. The kids who do that will stay at that table. We’ll make sure she sits alone over here,” she points to the next table over. “No worries.”

This is what it’s like as the parent of a child with a deadly allergy to an everyday substance or food.  Of course, we know in real life it’s not Rat Poison in the deli, just a jar of peanut butter.  That the children aren’t playing with cyanide at pre-school, but eating goldfish crackers and honey-mustard pretzels for snack.  They aren’t doing dangerous things – just innocuous, childhood things.  Normal things.

It’s us, the parents of the allergic child, who are seen often as overreacting, “crazy”, helicopter parents – god, can’t we just let it go?  But actually, most parents I know of children with allergies go through life in a constant state of underreacting. You have to, in order for your child to have any kind of life.

 “Oh, no problem, I brought his own food.”

 “Oh, her best friend has strawberries today for snack?  I’m just going to sit her over here away from that. No, no big deal… just if you wouldn’t mind washing her hands?”

“He’s at camp, but I made sure the counselors know what he can’t have and are trained in administering his epinephrine injector. I think he'll be okay."

After a while, it becomes part of your life.  Reading food labels is as natural as holding hands while crossing a busy road. Your kid knows to ask you  “is it safe?” before eating any food, the same way he knows not to get into cars with strangers. Just another danger.  Just another thing that can kill your child.  You think as long as you teach her right, as long as you know the signs, carry the epi-pen everywhere, you can handle it.  It will be alright.

And then a story like this hits the news. A 13-year-old girl did everything right: spit out the food after one bite, told her parents right away, her father – a doctor - administered her medication within the ‘correct’ time window.  And she still died.  A young girl barely beginning her life is dead  from one mouthful of a mislabeled rice cereal treat.  A family is grieving for their daughter who died from a peanut. This is not right, this is not fair, this is terrifying.

When I read that story I went into my son’s room, and held him while he slept.  I cried.   I second-guessed everything: summer camp, the family vacation we have planned, public school.  I half-seriously considered never letting him out of my sight ever again.  Every parent has had moments like this.

This will follow us into his teens, college years, adulthood.  I struggle to make sure he knows the ‘rules’ about food safety but not to become so draconian about it that he rebels in his teen years and ends up in a dangerous situation (according to an article in MedScape weekly, late adolescence and teens is the most dangerous time for kids with food allergies, due to poor decision making skills, alcohol impairing judgment, and even bullying. I may never get a good night’s sleep again).

There are lots of things to be scared of in this world:  a wayward bullet, a speeding car, childhood cancer, all the things that keep parents up at night.  I just have an additional worry.  Another reason to kiss my son goodnight.  Another reason to stay awake long after everyone else in the house is asleep.  A normal parent to a normal child, in a very dangerous world.

But we all just do the best we can.

Debby V. is a stay-at-home mom with a four-year-old son and another boy due this fall.  Thanks to her son's moderate dairy allergy and severe peanut allergy, her house never has the good candy at Halloween. 



 

Getting School-Ready: Make Your Own Labels - Contributor Post

School seems like a lifetime away, but it's just around the corner. Going school shopping basically just put me in the poor house, so this make-your-own-label idea won me over easily. Janel writes over at Pollychromatic, and you should check her out!

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School is upon us. My twins are entering pre-k this year. For us, "this year" starts on Monday! At orientation the principle reminded all of us that everything sent to the school needs to be labeled. The time to order cute or fancy labels has come and gone. Not to mention that the expense of something that is likely to get washed off and simply repeatedly have to have a new one applied is something I can't stomach.

What's my solution?

1. 1 roll Duct Tape (Duck Tape is putting out tons of cute designs on their duct tape nowadays, and you can find it at any hardware store and many grocery stores). Nothing that is too fussy to be able to read what you wrote. I chose plain white instead of something funky and fun, but there's no reason not to be fun.  

2. 1 roll clear Packing Tape. 

3. 1 Sharpie (make sure to get a color that will show well on the duct tape that you have, metallic silver shows surprisingly well on dark designs, for instance). 

4. Write their name on the duct tape with the sharpie. Be fancy if you want, but remember that your goal is easily identified (along with cute if that's a goal). 

5. Wait 30 seconds or so for the sharpie to dry on the duct tape.  

6. Here's the tricky part. Take the roll of package tape and unroll perfectly over the rows of labels you've made. Okay, perfect isn't truly necessary, because you're going to cut these out. So you can cut off any parts that don't match up. 

7. Press down firmly to make sure there's no air bubbles. 

8. Cut out. 

9. Apply.  

Make as many as you'd like, but don't worry it too hard. They're easy to make when one washes off and you need a new one.

As you can see, I went very plain just to increase legibility for the busy pre-k class where teachers are going to be making sure that possessions get back to their owners regularly. High contrast, and easy to use any of the materials on other projects as well. 

 

Going Back, Way Back

Yesterday was my first day of graduate school. I raced from the preschool drop off to the school's parking garage. From door to door, it only took me a half hour.

I sat outside for a bit, waiting for the course to begin. I was nervous as anything. Everyone was pretty young. Does no one go back to school for their degree any more?

I'd brought my laptop just in case. Who knows how people take notes these days. Just the other day, a teacher friend of mine posted a picture of kids taking pictures of the white screen. Wow, really?

I just want to lay this out.

The last time I went to school:

- Internet Explorer was the cool browser. (Way better than Netscape, seriously.)

- Napster was a thing.

- Facebook didn't exist.

- We saved our papers on floppy discs. (I had never seen a thumb drive.)

- Comic Sans was acceptable.

- We used printers at the library.

- Assignments were due at the next class...because physically carrying a paper to a professor was the only way to hand it in.

- We used 35mm cameras.

- I had one teacher with a Palm Pilot. And she was so proud of it, she mentioned her Palm Pilot four to five times a class.

- Having Toad the Wet Sprocket play automatically as your crappy webpage you made with the first edition of Dreamweaver or Pagemaker ever was the height of sophistication.

- We had to pay for delivery of the New York Times to our dorm rooms for journalism classes.

- We had to buy our books at the campus bookstore. Other options didn't exist or were very difficult.

- Ebooks didn't exist.

- Libraries used physical card catalogs.

- Lexus Nexus was the best thing ever.

- Learning to use microfiche was very important.

- Color coding sections of text in your word document (or Word Perfect, remember that?) was as complicated as note organization programs got.

- TI-82 calculators. That is all.

- Professors used laminates, white boards and chalk boards.

- A Power Point presentation was impressive. (At least two rungs above using poster board.)

- Mechanical pencils were cool.

- Slides. Grainy, awful photos, blown up too much, one after another after another. Click.


I mean, nowadays, did people even use notebooks and pens anymore? Would everyone whip out their tablet and go to town?

Any advice on this new fangled going-to-school thing is welcome.

Just don't tell me to get rid of my Trapper Keeper. You will have to pry the hot pink snow leopards on the moon from my cold, dead hands.