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Friday, September 26, 2014

On being "that mom"

Look, I'm a Connecticut girl. New England, through and through. I'm liberal, I like Obama, I believe in sexual freedom, human rights for all, good welfare systems for those in need, legalizing marijuana, government health care and gun control.

Obviously, I'm not a good fit here.

I've learned (painfully and slowly) to keep my opinions to myself when dealing with "the moms." The moms are the group of southern women firmly entrenched in ideological ideals that run completely opposite to mine.

To give a brief image, when the girls were in preschool, and Obama won his second term, I went into the school all WE WON, GUYS! MAYBE HE'LL ACTUALLY DO SOME COOL SHIT THIS TIME.

The moms quietened. Looked at me. And literally took a full step back from me.

Lesson one.

Later that year, the moms were engaged in a discussion about winkle sticks and bathing suit areas. I, of course, piped up, as I'm wont to do. They were shocked that the girls see me naked on a regular basis, know what vagina looks like, and etc. We went a little too far in this discussion. I said, "I'd much rather my kids see sex and nudity than killing and war."

Another step back. And I had to leave right quick before we got into a gun control debate, because, let me tell you, they were ready to second-amendment my ass back to Connecticut.

Lesson two.

So, I grew quiet. Because I did not want to be labeled "that mom." You know the one. The weird one that the other moms don't let their kids visit for fear of them teaching their preciouses another point of view. I didn't want my kids to invite a friend over only to get the cold shoulder because of my beliefs.

So, fast forward.

Now, we're in first grade.

And I'm still quiet with the moms. But not with my kids. We've had several talks about how, yes, some girls marry boys, but some girls marry girls and some boys marry boys and that's okay.

Yesterday in the car, one of my kids shouted from the backseat: "Mom, Jacky says you're a liar."

Um, what?

"Yeah, I told her that girls can too marry girls and she said no they can't and that's wrong and that you're lying."


I mean, what do you do with that?

Being the passive lamb I am, I told her I was not a liar, that girls can marry girls, and she could tell her six-year-old girl to look it up and read a fucking book.

Okay, I'm paraphrasing.

But, seriously, this is a delicate issue. I'm not going to tell my kids things I don't believe, and things that are outright lies, just to fit in here. Just so they'll fit in. And I know my kid is going to go right back to her friend and tell her that her mommy says it's the law that girls can marry girls and she's not a liar.

And that girl will probably not be allowed to come to my house.

It's sad.

But maybe she will? I'd let my children go to her house because I'm confident in the beliefs I instill in them. Although if they were going to a shooting range, I'd probably say no. So maybe I'm no better than them.

The trouble will be worth it. It has to be. It is what's right. What I believe is right, anyway.


1 comment:

  1. Good for you. It isn't easy when you're in the middle of it but your kids will be fine. I'm southern and live in the south but am much like you. My kids are in college now and are fine young men with active independent minds. And they are pretty cool people with plenty of friends and success at what they are doing. Hang in there!



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