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Monday, May 20, 2013

Shoe Slice

You know those Facebook photos that are supposed to make you feel bad about your life? The ones with the camera-angled legs tapering down to perfectly pedicured toes in front of a majestic ocean view? Enough, I say, of the silly, cliched foot photo. Let's keep it real.

On Friday, May 17th, in the afternoon, I posted a status on Facebook about another mom commenting on my shoes. It had been meant as a one-off joke, but then, one of my friends posted her shoes, tagging me in the photo. And the shoe slice was born. Taking place entirely on one Friday afternoon, I asked people on my Facebook friends list to post pictures of their shoes. This is what happened. (It's important to note not only the shoes, but the background slices of life we get, you know, when we're not in Tahiti or in Malibu. Because of this, I will not be cropping or editing these pictures at all. What you see is what you get.)

Tracey Baker Birch is lounging at home sans shoes while her children (only one shown) play the recently discovered Minecraft.
Just about to get off work, Alicia Helyer is going to do great things with her Friday night.

Mother Amber Ashgardens. Look at that floor, folks. Sparkling.

Ashley Austin is a girl I went to high school with who has only gotten more amazing with age. She posted these shoes with no comment. Look at them. They don't need a comment, do they?

Caitie George hates shoes!
Cecily Luft posts with trepidation. She suffers what many of us do...biased hatred of our own feet. She's wrong though. This is an amazing shoe shot.

It's not all about the women (just mostly!). Father Chris Johnson as seen freshly pedicured for his daughter's enjoyment. Now there's a dad.

New(ish) mom Emma Wade shows off her rad polish, which got several comments on Facebook.
Janel Copeland wins for smallest adult feet. So I had to make her picture extra big.
Kate Allen is pregnant and is making plans for her last pre-natal pedicure (although they look fab to me).

Preschool teacher Kylie Rogers had the day off today and graces us with our first smarmy vacationish picture. But she deserves it!

And what kind of blog would this be without the kids? Maggie Casson gets in on the action, proving what we already know...that moms can't do anything without the kids wanting to try is. And also that kids' feet look adorable in adult shoes on wrong.
Now, when I started this project, and more and more people started sending in their shoes, my wall became cluttered with the pictures, and people started questioning me.

I got shoe pictures with disclaimers like "I don't know what this is for, but Darlena asked for shoe pictures and here's mine!" And "Why am I doing this?" And "Shoes and awesome socks, just for you. Do I even want to know why?"

But the posts kept coming.

Michele Fleury posted these gems and got the joke, "Hey, the cool kids of my sixth grade called...they want their shoes back!" Which may be true. But I also want her shoes and I only wish I could have been cool enough to don them in the sixth grade. For real.

Odessa Denby in her new shoes for college graduation. You know, just hanging out.

Mom Sarah Rocha Tormey chilling in the car with her gorgeous nails.
Tobi Wolf can't wear shoes, but her surgery isn't getting her down.
Tiffany Johnson Hunter in CO where "the weather doesn't know what it's doing." But, seriously, it doesn't.

My brother, Thomas Mariani, ladies and gentlemen. In New York City. Seriously, even the floor is hipster chic.
Jessica Blizzard didn't send in her shoes. But she did post this hilarious status update:

"So. Once upon a time I was a cyber slut. During this cyber slutdom, a guy messaged me and told me he and his buddies had a joke website about feet. He'd pay me anywhere from $50-$150 to send a picture of my feet. He couldn't send me the link because the site was "under construction" ... I didn't send him a picture of my feet. Later down the road, he desperately messaged me asking me to role play with him and he'd pay me $300. After the whole creepy foot thing, his ass got blocked. Weirdos. Are you him?"

I died laughing. No. No, I'm not him. See? My site's not even under construction or anything!

Teacher Tanya Noreen lives in a place where there are spiders as big as your feet. Must protect them.
Russell Wait in Mississippi. "Shoes and a butt," he says. He's not wrong!

Monika Costa was in the middle of cleaning her carpets. And what a good idea this is, no?
Coming in with some of the most coveted shoes of the bunch, Melanie Greeke is just plain awesome.

Second kid pic of the afternoon! Maddie Fink in her rockin' high tops, on a killer throw rug. Yes.

Not a beach, but at least Kristen Robinson's feet are up!
Joella Striebel posted her shoes and was told immediately and lovingly "I spy hippie feet!"
Jackie Monk in tasteful sandals that a cat in the background?
My friend from high school, Tim Percoski, shoots me a picture while on his way home from a fire call. Because amazing.
The picture that started it all...Emily Santanella posted her Converses to me in a discussion about SAHM shoes. Can you believe she actually apologized for that rad floor?
Fellow preschool mom, Cheryl Russell has not only a very-wanted nail shade on the old FB friends list, but also the second most-wanted shoes!
And sometimes, you're like Cathy Dodge. In an airplane, checking your FB, and boom! Time to post your shoes!
Preschool teacher Alyssa Lord throws her Florida toes into the mix!
Alex Nguyen was in the middle of a craft project (because, um, she's always doing a craft project...for real), and took time out to photo her socks for us just before they got eaten by those green monsters from the DOS 1980s era!
Alison Beaten has cooler slippers than you. And me.
Andrea Wagner! Caught her in a rare casual moment.
Ashley Ray Taylor has rainbow toes and apparently the same tile that I have in my current bathroom/
Cassandra Gill stole these shoes from her son. Probably because they are awesome.
Channon Goodrich left her flip flops on the deck!
Important to note, as we take a shoe pic break that Emily Santanella told me "I'm well aware I'm not some fancy, glamorous mom who wears heels to preschool!"

I responded: "Replace glamorous with ridiculous, and you're spot on."

Donnelle Belanger-Taylor lives in New Zealand. Like Tanya, she has to cover up because have you even seen the bugs there?
Can you even believe I know someone cool enough to have those  we're-pretending-to-be-your-feet sneakers? Thank you, Greg Elfers!
A little while after posting the request for shoes, and getting an enormous response, I asked if I could post the pictures with people's names attached. The answer was an overwhelming 'yes!'

Bree Casson: "I have shoe pride, not shoe shame!"

MayAnne Luthor: "I will own up to these shoes all day long!"

Alex Nguyen: "I have no problem owning up to my awesome stripey socks and creepers!"

Cecily Luft: "Sure, I have no shame."

Kimberly Wright: "I love my shoes. No shame in my game."

Hep: "Yes, but now everyone will know I dress like a toddler."

Meghan Morey, being awesome in California.

Jennifer Kappert's photo makes me feel oddly nostalgic.
Katy Pika is a creative genius, and she wears her shoes accordingly. True facts.
Sometimes, when you're a mom, you can't even photograph your feet without someone sticking a ball on Leeanne Campbell Lee found out.
MaryAnne Luthor, everyone! With Vans I owned in 1992 and tiling I would kill for! Loving. It.
Mike Provencher: "My shoes are fantastic pieces of art. I haven't worn them for three months with the sole not actually fully attached to the rest of the shoe to NOT be famous for them."
Robin Provencher: "Oh, for God's sake, will you just buy yourself another pair of shoes?" 

Mom Alison Gayton, sporting the type of nail polish I have about nine months out of the year!
Angie Pugh shows off her laces and her amazingly clean carpet!
Janel at one point said: "This shoe thing is actually pretty cool!" I replied, "I'm saying!" And the following conversation took place:

J: "I think perhaps one of the best parts of it is all of us explaining to our other friends, "umm, Dar said to.""

Me: "I know! Jackie is here and she's like, wow, you just ask for things and people do it!"

J: "I really hope you're rubbing your hands together and cackling. It'd just be a waste not to. ... And it was at this point Darlena realized she actually had minions."

Jackie: "She's totes cackling like an evil genius. It's made of win all around." 

However, it's not that I have minions (though, I now have a new lifegoal.) It's that shoes are interesting.

Mother Beth Andersen gives a shout out from rainy Washington!
Bree Casson totally cheats and puts on some shoes just so she can take a picture of them!
Carrie Masters sends in two sneakers and a finger.
The perfect shoes for watching Blues Clues as sent in by Elizabeth Kratz DeBacker!
My old college roommate Helen Kostopolous Bril is 30 weeks pregnant. Honey Badger don't give a damn!
Jennifer Jackson Bloom spends a lot of time up in the air, flying on silks. When she's on the ground, she wears rad loafers to die for.
What would a shoe post be without Jepeczenka Hep Svadakovic weighing in with her awesome?
Katie Grosvenor says she always wears lace-ups because of  Flylady. I...have no idea what that means.
Mom Kimberly Wright with self-caption "because who needs to wear shoes like an adult, right?"

Stay at home wife of awesomeness, Leona Joy Colon and her sweet tiling!
These are my shoes. They started this whole thing off. I'm super amused that of the dozens of pictures I then received, my picture was the one uncentered, blurry one. Hah!
Moira A. Parker says hello from Starbucks on her Friday afternoon.
Patricia Anne Fredickson models a pair of ballet flats that I have myself, too!
Raeven Zayas brings us our second shot of orange nails and white sandals! Looks like this is a trend this year. Kind of. Okay, not really, but still. Orange and white, take note. You saw it here first.
Sarah Stanford, everyone, in loafers, that, wow, I want so hard.

Sascha Fernandez throws polka dots and hardwood flooring into the mix ending our project on an up note.
And there you have it. The shoe slice. Dozens of people from all over the world, in all different phases of life, at all different ages, doing all different things, yet all simply living their life. Almost 70 different pairs shoes that people were wearing from 4 p.m. to 7 p.m. on Friday, May 17th.

Talk about a slice of life.



    Also, your brother is fabulous. :-D

  2. (this is my third and last attempt to comment!)

    Now, now, I didn't steal them, I *inherited* them!

    (Cass Gill)

  3. Omg this came out so fun :)

  4. Fly lady is a website about cleaning & organizing. One of her things is to get completely dressed in the morning, right down to your lac up shoes. I notice I am more productive when I dress first thing.......but I like my pjs too much to do it every day ;-)

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  7. All of these shoe slices are indeed nice. I liked watching these images. Specially I just laughed a lot after watching the cute baby wearing slipper from wrong way. I'm a huge fan of womens basketball shoes and do you have any slice of basketball shoes?

  8. Personally, to me, looking at someones shoes gives me a better understanding of their personality and how well they present themselves to other people. If a person is wearing shoes that look like they haven't been taken care of, that makes me feel that they are unkept. jason markk premium

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