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Tuesday, August 26, 2014

Model what you want to see

As my girls age, I notice that they sometimes work out their issues through role playing games. These are spontaneous. They occur basically out of nowhere. One girl will perhaps do something that reminds her or her sister of us, their parents, and it spins off wildly from there.

When this happens, I believe my husband and I don't make the best of it right yet. I noticed it this evening.

Dulce had started play acting that her daddy was her, and she was me, and they had to go to school (something she's been having trouble with this week). Her dad, thinking it was funny, was making a show of protesting, moving slow and not listening.

And it hit me.


I shouted jovially that in this game we did what mommy said, we walked quickly, we paid attention, we got to school on time. Dulce was having a ball bossing her daddy around the way her perspective sees me as the evil overlord, but from that point on, her daddy was a very obedient little boy.

Lilly took her turn with me, and acted out the scene from this weekend where she'd had to be away from her twin for the first time ever. I played her, and gave validity to her anxieties, but went along willingly on the adventure and told her that she was right, I had had a good time afterward.

These games might not mean anything to the kids. But if they do, if my kids are trying to process correct behavior through this, I hope that we can guide them in the right direction so that they feel comfortable during the real deal.

Who knows...maybe we'll even get to school on time tomorrow. One can always hope.


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