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Saturday, September 24, 2011

Toddler Tricks - 60: Give Them What They Want

The third way to shut your child up for a hot second is to give them what they want. This sounds like a bad idea, but in context, it's not.

Problem: Same as last week. Your child is yammering away at you, getting more and more upset, demanding illogical, unattainable things, and becoming enraged when you won't or can't procure their desires for them. Sometimes, you're just going to have to deal with this, using the other techniques outlined in tricks 58 and 59. Trying to keep them at a dull roar can prove very difficult, however, if the answer is no every single time. And while you can't turn that apple into yogurt, and you can't force Disney to play Mickey Mouse Club House instead of Phineas and Ferb, there are some things you can do for you child if she asks nicely.

Solution: Do them. If your kid wants a glass of water, or a pretzel, or to play blocks or a hug, don't let the request get lost in the shuffle. Even though your parental ears are shoving all of these demands into the "child yammering away at me annoyingly" file, to the kid, each and every one of their rapid-fire commands is important and legitimate. If you give in every once in a while, it proves to the toddlers that you are listening, that their words are important to you, and that you aren't just ignoring everything they say. If your kids are secure in that knowledge, you'll start to notice that they believe you just a little bit more when you say you can't do something. They are checking off everything on a mental list, and if you do get them the juice, or the crayons, or let them go outside when they ask, they start to understand that it's not just you saying no for fun. That you are perhaps a reasonable human being and maybe you really can't do what they want at that next second. This is a slow-building trend and doesn't take effect right away, but if you have patience, you'll see it start to sink in. Plus, giving your child things that are reasonable is another way to validate and reaffirm their opinions and thoughts, which is really important to three year olds.

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  1. thank you for this im not the only one who does this too!! child yammering could cause long term stress and frustration <3



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