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Saturday, August 30, 2014

Boys and their bits -- Guest Post

Donnelle over at The Never-ending Laundry has a funny and too-true post about kids...and their parents...and the things we all find ourselves saying.

 ...


Although my daughter is the twin who will matter-of-factly explain (to me, or the neighbour, or the supermarket checkout operator) that "Finn penis. Daddy penis. Me vulva.", nothing compares to the fascination small boys have for their boy bits.

I've previously shared the most memorable diddle incident from my eldest, but I'll quote it again here:

Disturbing parenting moment #4354:

Sitting next to your only-undies-wearing son, and looking over to realise he has stretched his penis out to over twice its normal length.

Disturbing parenting moment #4355:

He notices you looking and announces, "My penis is a string for a golden harp."

Disturbing parenting moment #4356:

He twangs it.

Aside from the instinctive "nappy off, party time!" grabbiness, the first understanding I had of the level of connection between a boy and his banana was when my eldest, at around age three, walked in on me in the shower. Eyes wide with concern, he exclaimed, "Mummy, your penis is broken."

While we'd talked about anatomical differences with him, it wasn't an everyday discussion like it is with boy/girl twins. That started early, mostly with strangers. "Twins?" Yes. "Boys or girls?" One of each. "Are they identical?" ....No, one has a todger.

"Your brother's penis is not a pull cord." I overheard that gem from the bathroom where hubby was tackling bathtime. A few months later it happened again. "No, only Finn can touch his penis. You're not allowed to touch any penises for at least 30 more years."

With it being "summer", we've been giving Finn lots of nakey-butt time in order to help with toilet-training (Vieve is not interested yet). That has led to some things I never thought I would say, things like:

"No penises on the table."

and

"Don't eat rice off your brother's penis."

Finn went through a period of anatomical confusion in which he muddled his bottom and his bratwurst. This led to a hilarious scene where, trying to explain to his Nana that her Manx cat had no tail but did have a bum, he kept lifting his shirt to show Nana his "bum" while Vieve chased him around in circles exclaiming "No! Bum here!" I even have video footage... but I might save that for their 21st.

(Apologies, by the way, if the willy euphemisms bother you. Like many of you, we use the correct terms around here, but the post got a bit "penis penis penis penis". I briefly considered using "Penis penis penis penis" as the title of the blog post, but then I thought about how "Penis penis penis penis" would look in the sidebar. Penis? Penis.)

I'm pretty sure the frankfurter fascination is universal for small boys. Do you have any funny stories to share?




 

34 comments:

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    ReplyDelete
  11. At last my happiness and joy has been restored as my husband who left me for another girl has finally come back good and still lovely to me , i want to use this time to give thanks to Dr Blessing who has use his love spell and prayers to bring back my ex lover and also share little about my rough story between me and my husband and the other girls , i got married to the man i loved Sanchez June 23 2013 and we have been together ever since and we have leaved happily we both have a daughter , but this year 2017 when has traveled to new York on a business things changed even when he was away he never called to say hi to me and my daughter and this was unlikely of him because he loves our daughter to sky , so i began to suspect something wasn't right, but i waited for he to return to me in Canada so i know what the problems was, only for Sanchez to come back asking for divorce at first i thought he was joking , but with time i saw he was so serious on this , i tried to plead with he but nothing changed , i called my mom telling her about the situation and she said to pray about it , i was depressed and devastated on this issues and was praying and looking for help to stop the divorce and save my marriage, i seek help with many persons non could help , i continue with the search of help because i knew and have the feelings my man was not on his right senses because i know the man i married can never ask me for a divorce, so i kept on looking for solutions i spent almost all my savings seeking solution , until the Juliana a working told me about Dr blessing of blessingspiritualtemple@gmail.com, i never wanted to email him because many has taken money from me without giving any good result, but when he gave her words about Dr Blessing i decided to give it a trial , contacted him and told him about myself , he told me that he will have me to make my husband stop the divorce and reunite us again , that he gave me three days after which everything will be back to it normal place for good , i did some few things he said i should do as instructed , and let he do his work i was at work on the 15th of July about 10 AM when i received letter from my husband that my husband has cancelled the divorce case and same day at about 12 noon my husband wrote me a sweet text , and this was how me and my husband came back and today we are better as one family , so i want to use this means to tell to you all here contact Dr Blessing to for any kind of relationship or married problems and i let he solve it for you just as he has done for me , his contacts
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    ReplyDelete
  12. HELLO EVERYONE, JUST WANT EVERYBODY TO KNOW THAT DR SAMBO IS REAL I HAVE WORKED WITH HIM AND IT WAS SUCCESFUL Web site : https://divinespellhome4.wixsite.com/dr-sambo


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    ReplyDelete
  13. At last my happiness and joy has been restored as my husband who left me for another girl has finally come back good and still lovely to me , i want to use this time to give thanks to Dr Blessing who has use his love spell and prayers to bring back my ex lover and also share little about my rough story between me and my husband and the other girls , i got married to the man i loved Sanchez June 23 2013 and we have been together ever since and we have leaved happily we both have a daughter , but this year 2017 when has traveled to new York on a business things changed even when he was away he never called to say hi to me and my daughter and this was unlikely of him because he loves our daughter to sky , so i began to suspect something wasn't right, but i waited for he to return to me in Canada so i know what the problems was, only for Sanchez to come back asking for divorce at first i thought he was joking , but with time i saw he was so serious on this , i tried to plead with he but nothing changed , i called my mom telling her about the situation and she said to pray about it , i was depressed and devastated on this issues and was praying and looking for help to stop the divorce and save my marriage, i seek help with many persons non could help , i continue with the search of help because i knew and have the feelings my man was not on his right senses because i know the man i married can never ask me for a divorce, so i kept on looking for solutions i spent almost all my savings seeking solution , until the Juliana a working told me about Dr blessing of blessingspiritualtemple@gmail.com, i never wanted to email him because many has taken money from me without giving any good result, but when he gave her words about Dr Blessing i decided to give it a trial , contacted him and told him about myself , he told me that he will have me to make my husband stop the divorce and reunite us again , that he gave me three days after which everything will be back to it normal place for good , i did some few things he said i should do as instructed , and let he do his work i was at work on the 15th of July about 10 AM when i received letter from my husband that my husband has cancelled the divorce case and same day at about 12 noon my husband wrote me a sweet text , and this was how me and my husband came back and today we are better as one family , so i want to use this means to tell to you all here contact Dr Blessing to for any kind of relationship or married problems and i let he solve it for you just as he has done for me , his contacts
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    ReplyDelete
  14. How i get my ex girlfriend back:I need help in my relationship check on Dr Trust website and contact him now http://utimatespellcaster.com/love.html

    I"m Corey Edward from US Florida..This is my testimony on how my ex girlfriend come back home..i want to say a very big thanks and appreciation to Dr. Trust for bringing back my lover who left me. One day as i was browsing searching on the internet for recommend spell caster who will help me to bring my Ex Girlfriend back,Finally i met a writing how so many testimony talking about Dr. Trust who restore relationship back,so i email him and he cast the love spell,luckily within 24 hours my Girlfriend really called me and started apologizing for all she had caused me.and begging me to accept her back and we are living happily and our relationship is now very strong, I am the happiest man on earth today because Dr. Trust has done a wonderful deeds,my Gf now love and respect me. Email him for your relationship help. Or check on him on his website for others testimonies of his client. http://utimatespellcaster.com/love.html

    Ultimatespellcast@yahoo.com or Ultimatespellcast@gmail.com

    WhatApp or Call him: +2348156885231

    ReplyDelete


  15. My name is Ruth Moore , Am from UK,i never believe there will ever be a solution to my relationship problem with my lover. my lover called smith Moore threw me out of his house and brought in another lady who he now feels the only best for him. until one day i receive a phone call from a friend in the city that my man is going out on a date with another woman in town, i told her i am also surprise too, because since smith Moore has left me he hardly think nor call me. so after some few days my friend called Martha called me and told me that she has found a man that is very powerful, and he is a great herbalist from Africa, truly we all knows that Africans are blessed with so much herbal voodoo powers which they use to help much people, so he told me that the man name is prophet oyinbo , that she will forward his email address for me so that i can contact him for help, so truly she sent me prophet oyinbo email address and i contacted him that faithful day. he mailed me after a great while that my man will be back to me if only i believe on his work,so after 25hrs i receive a phone call from smith Moore, and he started begging that i should please forgive him against all he had done to me.. he begged me of breaking my heart and letting the other lady a new heart. he promise me never to let go. now i and Smith Moore are now planning to get married as soon as possible. we are brought back with the great powerful love spell and blinded with prophet oyinbo spell, we are happy and glad. so i thank you sir for the great help you offer to me, because i think today this might be the only ways and means i can ever thank you of your work.. i am glad. you can contact him for a love spell today at: prophetoyinbojesus@gmail.com or you can call him at +2348074066640


    ReplyDelete
  16. I am Lisney from Australia, i hear how people are talking about the powerful Doctor called DR AKPAN in regard of how he brought back ex lovers,winning lottery,getting pregnant and getting married to their dream true lover and i also contact him to help me cast a spell in regard of my ex lover whom i love so much that left me few months ago, but today my ex is back to me and we are happily married with our kids and i am so much happy for the help i found in you DR AKPAN. I and my family are very much happy and we are living large now, i am grateful and appreciate your good work of spell casting, thank you and may you live long to help people in problems. Reach him on his His email; akpanherbalhelp@gmail.com or Call/whatsapp +2348143502763

    ReplyDelete
  17. I AM SO HAPPY DR TRUST, MY HUSBAND IS BACK.

    I completely trusted Dr Trust totally from the time I spoke with him during the period my husband Left me after 11 years of our marriage, He started the spell work on my husband, and gave me so much assurance and guaranteed me that he was going to bring my husband back to my feet in just 48 hours of the spell casting. I was so confident in his work and just as he said in the beginning, my husband is finally back to me again, yes he is back with all his hearts, Love, care, emotions and flowers and things are better now. I would have no hesitation to recommend this powerful spell caster to anybody who is in need of help.. E-mail Ultimatespellcast@gmail.com or Ultimatespellcast@gmail.com his website: https://utimatespellcaster.com

    WhatApp or call him +2348156885231

    Do accept my gratitude sir.




    I AM SO HAPPY DR TRUST, MY HUSBAND IS BACK.

    I completely trusted Dr Trust totally from the time I spoke with him during the period my husband Left me after 11 years of our marriage, He started the spell work on my husband, and gave me so much assurance and guaranteed me that he was going to bring my husband back to my feet in just 48 hours of the spell casting. I was so confident in his work and just as he said in the beginning, my husband is finally back to me again, yes he is back with all his hearts, Love, care, emotions and flowers and things are better now. I would have no hesitation to recommend this powerful spell caster to anybody who is in need of help.. E-mail Ultimatespellcast@gmail.com or Ultimatespellcast@gmail.com his website: https://utimatespellcaster.com

    WhatApp or call him +2348156885231

    Do accept my gratitude sir.

    ReplyDelete
  18. I still imagine how Dr Henry brought my ex lover back to me in just 3 days. No one could have ever made me believe that there is a real spell caster whose love spell really works until i saw it does. am Dennis and I want to quickly tell the world that there is a real on line spell caster that is powerful and genuine, His name is Dr Henry of Permanent Spell Cast. He helped me recently to reunite my relationship with my ex lover who left me, When i contacted Dr Henry, he cast a love spell for me and my ex lover who said she doesn't have anything to do with me again called me 3 days after for us to settle all our differences and get back into the relationship. She is back now with so much love and caring. Today i am glad to let you all know that this spell caster has the powers of bring lost lovers back as he had helped me. There is nothing else as great as been with the woman you love and i am so happy that my ex lover is back to me with the help of Dr Henry. If you have similar problem i will advise you to contact Dr Henry too, he is always there to help you and put a smile on your face as he did to me and others.
    email: permanentspellcast@yahoo.com
    WhatsApp/Call: +2348100663964.
    Website: https://permanentlovespellcaster.wordpress.com

    ReplyDelete
  19. I still imagine how Dr Henry brought my ex lover back to me in just 3 days. No one could have ever made me believe that there is a real spell caster whose love spell really works until i saw it does. am Dennis and I want to quickly tell the world that there is a real on line spell caster that is powerful and genuine, His name is Dr Henry of Permanent Spell Cast. He helped me recently to reunite my relationship with my ex lover who left me, When i contacted Dr Henry, he cast a love spell for me and my ex lover who said she doesn't have anything to do with me again called me 3 days after for us to settle all our differences and get back into the relationship. She is back now with so much love and caring. Today i am glad to let you all know that this spell caster has the powers of bring lost lovers back as he had helped me. There is nothing else as great as been with the woman you love and i am so happy that my ex lover is back to me with the help of Dr Henry. If you have similar problem i will advise you to contact Dr Henry too, he is always there to help you and put a smile on your face as he did to me and others.
    email: permanentspellcast@yahoo.com
    WhatsApp/Call: +2348100663964.
    Website: https://permanentlovespellcaster.wordpress.com

    ReplyDelete
  20. Sir, thank you so much for you genuine spell,my wife is back!!!

    Thank you sir for your genuine spells. This is really incredible, and I have never experienced anything like this in my life. Before i met you Sir, i have tried every all probable means that i could to get my wife back, but i actually came to realize that nothing was working out for me, and that my wife had developed lot of hatred for me.. I thought there was n o hope to reunite with my ex wife and kids. But when i read good reviews about your work sir, i decided to give it a try and i did everything that you instructed me and i Trusted in you and followed your instructions just as you have guaranteed me in 48 hours, and that was exactly when my wife called me.. We are more contented now than ever. Everything looks perfect and so natural! Thank you so much for your authentic and indisputable spells. Thanks Sir for your help. If you need help in your marriage of broken relationship,please contact Dr Jack right now for urgent help.

    Okakagbespelltemple@gmail.com Or Okakagbespelltemple@yahoo.com
    Call him now +2348138289852

    ReplyDelete
  21. I NEED A GENUINE SPELL CASTER TO BRING BACK MY EX BACK: CONTACT DOCTOR THOUGH HIS WEB SITE http://utimatespellcaster.com HE IS THE BEST OF ALL

    It's a privilege to share this miraculous testimony to the world. I'm Elisa Wendy from England. My husband divorced me 4 months back and i have been filled with remorse for i didn't know what to do to amend issues with my husband. I searched for help on the internet on how i could get help in my marriage and i discovered great testifiers about Doctor Trust who has been progressive with his spells. I got in touch with him and behold, Doctor Trust told me that he will prepare a spell for me that will bring back my husband. I was skeptical but i had no other option but to work with him. 2 days after, my husband called me that he's coming back home and from that day till this moment, we have been living peacefully. He is back now with so much love and caring. today i am glad to let you all know that this spell caster have the powers of bring lovers back. because i am now happy with my husband,and the most surprise,is that our love is very strong,every day is happiness and joy. and there is nothing like been with the man you love. I will highly recommend Doctor Trust to anyone one out there who needs help whatsoever.if you have any problem contact Doctor Trust, i give you 100% guarantee that he will help you!!.

    Ultimatespellcast@gmail.com or Ultimatespellcast@yahoo.com

    View his website for more testimony: http://utimatespellcaster.com

    Call or write him on What-app +2348156885231

    ReplyDelete
  22. Hello Every One Out Here
    I'm Debbie Kladke. I'm from United States North Bergen(US). I read some testimony about Dr. Iyaryi on how he has helped people in bringing back there ex within 48 hours i was just thinking if that was real,And decided to call a lady who made a testimony and also dropped her number,So i called her and ask her about Dr. Iyaryi she said Dr. Iyaryi is a trustworthy man and he his ready to bring back my lover for me,i was just so happy and a little bit relief that my lover will be back to me soon,Then i decided in contacting Dr. Iyaryi which i did,And before i could share him my problem he has already told me what i came for,And he said everything will be okay within 48 hours that my lover will be back to my arms,So he said he would be casting the spell and that within 48 hours my lover would call me,So i hoped so truly before the 48 hours i got a call from a man who has left me for the past 6 years saying he is sorry and he wants me back,i was happy and i said i also want him back,Then i traveled to Canada to meet him up,And he apologized for what he has done to me now he proposed to marry me and we are both preparing for our wedding soon,All thanks to the great and World best spell caster, Dr. Iyaryi His private mail driayaryi2012@hotmail.com. And also Reach him on WhatsApp Number: +2349057915709 Thanks Dr. Iyaryi

    ReplyDelete
  23. Sir, thank you so much for you genuine spell,my wife is back!!!

    Thank you sir for your genuine spells. This is really incredible, and I have never experienced anything like this in my life. Before i met you Sir, i have tried every all probable means that i could to get my wife back, but i actually came to realize that nothing was working out for me, and that my wife had developed lot of hatred for me.. I thought there was n o hope to reunite with my ex wife and kids. But when i read good reviews about your work sir, i decided to give it a try and i did everything that you instructed me and i Trusted in you and followed your instructions just as you have guaranteed me in 48 hours, and that was exactly when my wife called me.. We are more contented now than ever. Everything looks perfect and so natural! Thank you so much for your authentic and indisputable spells. Thanks Sir for your help. If you need help in your marriage of broken relationship,please contact Dr Jack right now for urgent help.

    Okakagbespelltemple@gmail.com Or Okakagbespelltemple@yahoo.com
    Call him now +2348138289852

    ReplyDelete
  24. I will try to make this short as possible. In July I found out that my husband of almost 17yrs was having an affair and he actually brought this woman to my home. I was devestated to say the least. I met my husband 18yrs ago and he swept me off my feet and we got married 11months after we met. We had a great marriage (I thought) we have two beautiful boys. In 2015 we moved 800 miles away to a very small town due to his job. I quit my high paying job at a company that I had worked at for 14yrs to move away from my family and job/career to be a stay at home mom. Then here we are 2 and 1/2 years later going through a divorce and no job. I felt schizophrenic going through all of these emotions from acceptance, to denial, to how can this be and back again. I tried all the best effort i could to get him back from this woman whom he was havingan affiar with, and make him see how much i love to be with him. but he insisted he never wanted to be with me anymore. Its was almost 4 months since he started living with this other woman, then i decided to use DR BLESSING spells for help because i had no other choice and i felt everything was lost to me. I had the most wonderful and happy marriage after using his spell in just 24 hours, and that was how my marital life was fixed back to its right track. If you are one of the people who is in a loveless and unhappy marriage that cannot be salvaged (and you can only determine that by being very honest with yourself), believe me...there IS light at the end of this tunnel. Here is his
    Email: blessingspiritualtemple@gmail.com
    Whats,App. +1(951) 409 0694

    ReplyDelete
  25. What would i have done if not for Dr Blessing, my man of 3 years started acting strange when he got a new job in new York, i thought it was because of new job after two months i find out he has been cheating on me with his working mate i tried talking to him because i loved him and something in me told me he was not himself as my man loved me and our kid so much, in this process of trying to talk to him about this other woman my man pushed me out of the house , i was xo xo depressed that i wanted to file for divorce, but my mom ask me not to go for divorce so i tried holding myself even when i wasn't happy during this time, i started looking out for solutions everywhere, but non worked , until the day my aunt introduce me to this man called Dr blessing,of blessingspiritualtemple@gmail.com i explained my situation to him and he said to me if i believed in him ? i said to him and he told me to get somethings done which i did as usual , and he told me my man was under black magic from another woman and i said yes i suspected he was, but he finally said i should wait for two days that my man will call or text me , i believed him because i know my aunt will never mislead me , i was amazed when i received messages of apology from my man after two days i quickly told Dr blessing about this and he said that was just the beginning and that was how me and my husband are reunite again today and am carrying our second child inside me now, so with all this wonderful and amazed work done for me by Dr blessing i promise to share and inform the world about him because i know many are out there passing through hardship in their relationship , and i also introduced Dr blessing to my friends here and he did same good result for them all so am convince that with blessingspiritualtemple@gmail.com your relationship can be saved again
    you can reach out to him via his email , blessingspiritualtemple@gmail.com, Whats,App. +1(951) 409 0694
    LUCIANA

    ReplyDelete

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