Play Therapy

D: "Will you play with me?"

N: "No, we don't like each other."

D: "Well, I like you."

N: "But I don't like you, so there."

D: "But why?"

N: "I don't like your hair."

D: "Why not?"

N: "It's not beautiful."

N: "Oh."

Dulce walks away. Natalina assume the role of the teacher.

N: "Dulce, what's wrong?"

D: "Nuffin."

N: "No, you're acting sad. What's wrong?"

D: "M and J don't like me."

N: "Oh, well, let me talk to them."

And on and on. And then over again. And again. Sometimes the "teacher" would get angry or sad. Other times, she would tell Dulce that it would be okay and go play with someone else.

It's cute right? It would be really cute if it were pretend. But it wasn't. The girls, with no prompting from me at all, and apparently no discussion ahead of time, they spontaneously broke out into this "game" recreating a very real event that had happened at preschool that morning.

M and J really did tell Dulce they didn't like her because her hair was dark and curly. And it messed her up a bit. My child is four. She doesn't need to hear about how her hair isn't beautiful.

Dulce told me and the teachers told me. I don't think they talked to the other parents, but that's okay. It's not a big deal, it's just kids being kids.

That didn't stop me from shooting a four-year-old child the adult death-stare of doom. Yeah, you heard me. Not above it.

Other than that, I just told Dulce that the girls were wrong about her hair, they probably just didn't know any better, and sometimes people just don't want to play with other people, and that's okay. I told her to seek out other friends who would be nicer to her when that happens. I didn't know what to do.

And my heart broke when this game started. This incident really resonated with the twins.

But as they went on, I became less sad and more fascinated. They were working through it. Over and over again, they worked through it until Dulce was satisfied with the solution.

And by the end, they were laughing and giggling away. Best of friends. Forever.

Perfection.

My kids.

 

Guest Post - Keeping the Family Connection Alive

Today I'm lucky enough to have a guest post from Athena on how to keep the family connection alive.

...

It seems at times in our hectic lives it is often easy to dismiss the bigger picture. We get so caught up in all the little extra distractions that sometimes we can forget the most important one of all; family. Family transcends and merges, it grows and embraces and connect us to our most basic of needs. And with so many families these days facing transfers across the country to pursue careers and other experiences, we’ve lost a lot of family history along the way.

If this sounds at all like what you’ve experienced with your own family, then here are a few tips to help
reconnect and regain some footing in your family tree.

Where to start? Let’s take a look at a few tips below:


- Familiarize your children:

Pull out that old scrapbook and photo album. If you’ve got kids then you know how important that connection is between yourself and your children. Start pulling out those old slides and family photos even when the children are still in diapers. Explain to them how they are related and any funny or interesting stories about them. Say your great uncle loved to fish, there’s even a picture of him with a trophy steelhead, but let’s say he also had to fight off a grizzly bear on one of his fishing trips, chances are your kids will never forget who he is. There is nothing more heartwarming to see your child point to a picture of your grandmother and say their name out loud. Children love to know who they came from and how that connection relates to them.

- Take a trip to library:

Let’s face it, we all love to see our name in print and of course, children are no exception. By accessing archived newspapers you can look up your relative’s birth announcements as well as finding other interesting stories (maybe some you didn’t know existed). Better yet? Look up your children’s birth announcement. You can show them and then tell them all about that very special day when they came into your life.

- Research online:

With little ones in tow, it can sometimes be hard to spend quality time researching your family tree, however, with the help of the internet you can soon be up and reading all about your family’s history, all in the comfort and convenience of your own home. There are some sites to get you started www.ancestry.com is one to start plugging your name and relatives into. But let’s say you’ve been so inspired by family research that you’ve decided that you are going to start the first annual family reunion this summer. It’s a lot of work, but the thought of seeing your great Aunt (and your daughter’s namesake) finally meeting, well, it will all be worth it. A site like www.onlinesearches.com can help begin the search and get the ball rolling to reach out to those who have been missing for years.


At the end of the day, family is what matters. Imagine the faces of those relatives who have been absent for so many years and the new memories that you can begin to make today. Just think, someday your own children will be sitting down with their children, reviewing the photo album of the family reunion that you were inspired to put together. Get started now, what are you waiting for? Your children’s children will thank you.

...

Athena Bingham is a paralegal who enjoys freelance writing. She contributes regularly to sites like People Smart. When she isn't writing, Athena enjoys spending time reading to her children and playing the piano for several local jazz groups.


 

The Half Birthday

Since the girls turned 18 months, I've been giving them a half birthday party. It's nothing big. I make them a cake, we sing the birthday song, blow out candles and eat it. No friends, no presents, just a marking of time past. I started it way back then because I wasn't doing anything else and I thought it was a nice thing to do for them.

Since then, I've gotten (and increasingly with their age, as they grow) a lot of good-natured flack. Half birthdays are ridiculous, no wonder I have spoiled kids, what the hell is my problem, etc.

Side note: Firstly, my kids have hit the 4.5 golden age! I don't know who came in and exchanged my hoodlums for these angelic, cute, happy kids, but I will take it. I will take it and never look back. Please, dear everything, let me keep these reasonable, expressing-themselves, not-tantruming kids. So, right now, I wouldn't say I spoiled them after all! Huzzah!

But, ignoring that, let's say I have spoiled them. The half-birthday isn't the spoiling. That would be in the da-to-day mistakes and inconsistencies I allow. An extra cake a year does not a spoiled child make.

Okay, now, here's why my twins get a half-birthday party:

They are twins.

If I had two children in the normal way, you know, one at a time, they would each get a party. As it stands, they share a cake, share a party, share everything. They only get one.

So what's the harm in doing two? Anyone else with two kids gives two parties. And I still get off the hook because I don't have to invite anyone over or worry about presents.

And it really helps us mark the time. For instance, now that they're 4.5, they've accepted that they are to clean their toys up everyday, make their beds, and get themselves dress (and wipe their own bums). They wouldn't do those things at four, so I made a big deal out of the 4.5 meaning new responsibilities.

Natalina has taken it to a new level and has started staying dry overnight. (LOL, my kid would pee in bed for funsies, right?) Dulce has been dry for a long time.

Anyway, it's a nice marker for us, and I'll keep doing it until we don't want to anymore.

Here are some party pictures!

What's wrong with a party? I think that's been my motto since college, to be honest.




 

Recipe Monday - Orange Buttercream Frosting

I put food coloring in here because when my girls said orange frosting, they meant orange frosting. Without the false coloring it has an incredibly gentle, classy light orange tinge.

2/3 cup butter, softened
6 cups powdered sugar, divided (I ONLY USED FOUR CUPS!!!!!)
2 teaspoons freshly grated orange peel
1-1/2 teaspoons vanilla extract
4 to 6 tablespoons milk


Beat butter, 1 cup powdered sugar, orange peel and vanilla in large bowl until creamy.
Add remaining powdered sugar alternately with milk, beating to spreading consistency.
If necessary, add additional milk, 1/2 teaspoon at a time, to get desired spreading consistency.
About 3 cups frosting.


 

Moment of the Week - 129: Tumbling Is Hard!

Natalina hasn't practiced her gymnastics in a while. LOL.