When I became a parent, I fully expected my speech patterns to change a bit. I knew I'd be hearing a lot more phrases like "You can't do that," "Please wait," "In a minute," and the now infamous "Can you hear me?" (That last one follows a family tradition. My mother used to say it to us over and over again, and I thought it was the dumbest question. Of course I can hear you. I'm just not responding. Derp.)
Still, I was not prepared for the string of utterly ridiculous words that leave my mouth on a daily basis. An outsider listening in would think I've lost my damn mind. So for your enjoyment (and my memory) here's a list of the top ten ridiculous things I have said this week.
- Why would you put your jammies in the potty?
- Which one of you wants to give Superman his milk?
- Don't worry, someday you'll be big enough for wine.
- When people are outside, they wear pants.
- Caterpillars are our friends!
- Your sister is not your bed!
- Don't lick the windows, please.
- Okay, I'm going to flush the toilet by myself.
- No! I will not open my sunglasses!
- Come here, let me kiss your bum.
___
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Monday, April 11, 2011
Sunday, April 10, 2011
Moment of the Week - 34
The babies feed their babies. Remember how I told you about chewing and swallowing in this house? It's making some kind of an impression because you can hear them saying, "chew, chew!" but who knows what that impression is. Oh well. At least the chairs are still good for something.
Bonus...twins sometimes show their special bond. This was in the face of danger as turtles crept up on them from the pond.
___
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Saturday, April 9, 2011
Toddler Tricks - 34
Ways to Trick your Baby:
Problem: You're trying really hard to clean your house, but your children aren't having it. They will allow you to get nothing done other than play with them.
Solution: Have them help. This takes a bit of creativity, but usually anything mom or dad is doing is fun, so supply them with their own sponges or dusters and get to work. Just make sure to go over everything they've "cleaned." Months ago, I recommended this, but I bring it up again for the next section. You see, we've hit a snag.
Ways your Baby Tricks You:
Problem: Some chores simply cannot be done with babies helping. Vacuuming, for instance. You can't vacuum during naptime because it's so loud. You can't vacuum with babies around because they're either too frightened to handle it, or they've been trained to help so they are constantly underfoot. Mine even grab at the handle, trying to help me move the machine back and forth. Vacuuming has become one of the most annoying chores I have to do.
Solution: Sometimes toys can double as cleaning tools. Because the babies' poppers are used by pushing and pulling them to make sound, I have been able to convince them that when I'm vacuuming, the toys become mini baby vacuums. I can usually direct them to their poppers while I'm trying to get a good section of carpet done, and they'll take up with the toy, popping without care back and forth across the living room. I just have to make sure they don't run into the real vacuum cleaner in their revelry.
Problem: You're trying really hard to clean your house, but your children aren't having it. They will allow you to get nothing done other than play with them.
Solution: Have them help. This takes a bit of creativity, but usually anything mom or dad is doing is fun, so supply them with their own sponges or dusters and get to work. Just make sure to go over everything they've "cleaned." Months ago, I recommended this, but I bring it up again for the next section. You see, we've hit a snag.
Ways your Baby Tricks You:
Problem: Some chores simply cannot be done with babies helping. Vacuuming, for instance. You can't vacuum during naptime because it's so loud. You can't vacuum with babies around because they're either too frightened to handle it, or they've been trained to help so they are constantly underfoot. Mine even grab at the handle, trying to help me move the machine back and forth. Vacuuming has become one of the most annoying chores I have to do.
Solution: Sometimes toys can double as cleaning tools. Because the babies' poppers are used by pushing and pulling them to make sound, I have been able to convince them that when I'm vacuuming, the toys become mini baby vacuums. I can usually direct them to their poppers while I'm trying to get a good section of carpet done, and they'll take up with the toy, popping without care back and forth across the living room. I just have to make sure they don't run into the real vacuum cleaner in their revelry.
____
If you enjoy this blog, please vote for Tales of an Unlikely Mother on Babble.com. We're number 15, just scroll down and click on the thumbs up.
Friday, April 8, 2011
Spearmint Blog Hop
Spearmint is doing a blog hop as part of her interesting series on Blogging 101. I agree with quite a few of her points and have found some good blogs today through this. Head on over if you want to add your blog, too!
For any of you stopping by from Spearmint Baby, here's an intro post with lots of my favorite entries!
I'm a 28-year-old stay at home mom to twin toddler girls. We're not perfect, but we're making it work...and we've collected a lot of funny stories along the way.
Nice to meet you!
For any of you stopping by from Spearmint Baby, here's an intro post with lots of my favorite entries!
I'm a 28-year-old stay at home mom to twin toddler girls. We're not perfect, but we're making it work...and we've collected a lot of funny stories along the way.
Nice to meet you!
Thursday, April 7, 2011
The Witch Is Coming!
Last week, my babies went to bed for the first time in what must be a year without making me go back in there to resettle them. A magical secret of happiness and sugar plums as they drift off to sleep? Hardly. Actually, I scared the pants off of them. But it was an accident, I swear!
They love stories, especially during potty time. On this particular night, they'd requested stories about a witch. So I made one a prince, the other a princess, and the bad guy was a witch. (Okay, okay, I'm no JK Rowlings, I get it.) Anyway, after the story, we continued playing a game about the witch. She was coming. The prince and princess had to get away! It was time for bed, and if there's one thing the babies hate, it's getting into their jammies. So, I had the brilliant idea to make them magical jammies that would protect them from the witch overnight. To get them into bed, I told them the witch was coming, and we had to go hide under our covers to be safe. I was just trying to get them into the room for the bedtime routine. But on this night, there was no bedtime routine. In its place, I had two cowering babies, eyes full of fear, clinging to me as I said goodnight to them.
They allowed me to leave without protest, and I heard not a peep from that room for the rest of the evening. Why? Because I'd told them (in play) that if they were very quiet and stayed still, the witch wouldn't see them.
I felt horrible. My husband and I had explained to them over and over again before we left the room that the witch wasn't real, that we were only playing a game. No dice. Had I terrified my children? Had I scarred them for life?
I was sure of it. I was ready to pick up my worst mom of the year award.
Thankfully, my mother-guilt had underestimated my babies. They made it through the night in tact. The morning came and they were bright and bushy-tailed, ready to take on the day. And that night? They asked for the witch game again.
They have requested the witch game every night since, and every night now, instead of a long drawn-out bedtime routine, they hop under their covers quickly and quietly, accept a kiss and go to sleep. The fear has left their eyes, and they're simply caught up in the game before bed.
This might be the best development ever. What a lucky accident.
___
They love stories, especially during potty time. On this particular night, they'd requested stories about a witch. So I made one a prince, the other a princess, and the bad guy was a witch. (Okay, okay, I'm no JK Rowlings, I get it.) Anyway, after the story, we continued playing a game about the witch. She was coming. The prince and princess had to get away! It was time for bed, and if there's one thing the babies hate, it's getting into their jammies. So, I had the brilliant idea to make them magical jammies that would protect them from the witch overnight. To get them into bed, I told them the witch was coming, and we had to go hide under our covers to be safe. I was just trying to get them into the room for the bedtime routine. But on this night, there was no bedtime routine. In its place, I had two cowering babies, eyes full of fear, clinging to me as I said goodnight to them.
They allowed me to leave without protest, and I heard not a peep from that room for the rest of the evening. Why? Because I'd told them (in play) that if they were very quiet and stayed still, the witch wouldn't see them.
I felt horrible. My husband and I had explained to them over and over again before we left the room that the witch wasn't real, that we were only playing a game. No dice. Had I terrified my children? Had I scarred them for life?
I was sure of it. I was ready to pick up my worst mom of the year award.
Thankfully, my mother-guilt had underestimated my babies. They made it through the night in tact. The morning came and they were bright and bushy-tailed, ready to take on the day. And that night? They asked for the witch game again.
They have requested the witch game every night since, and every night now, instead of a long drawn-out bedtime routine, they hop under their covers quickly and quietly, accept a kiss and go to sleep. The fear has left their eyes, and they're simply caught up in the game before bed.
This might be the best development ever. What a lucky accident.
___
If you enjoy this blog, please vote for Tales of an Unlikely Mother on Babble.com. We're number 15, just scroll down and click on the thumbs up.
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