An Open Letter to DINKs Everywhere

Dear DINKs,

Thank you.

Thank you for uploading your gloriously childfree vacation pictures to Facebook. When you do this, I can "vacation" myself after my lovely little noisemakers have gone to bed. Fiji, Costa Rica, Miami, you go. You go to those places. You do it.

And the fact that it only cost you $800 and took only one day to plan? I love it. I do not hate. Because you deserve it. Everyone deserves it. Some of us cannot have it. As DadCamp writes in Babble, for the married-with-kids, a vacation like that would cost $1,500.

He complains about the necessary room sizes, and about the price of dinners. (This is a piece about why people without children suck, and, honestly, the man spends the whole time wishing he was without children. Maybe it's a satire?) But, yes, DadCamp. Dinner for five does cost more than dinner for two. Sorry, but I'm not sure how that is the fault of the childless.

The one thing he doesn't mention is that "a quick getaway" with kids sucks. It's all, "I miss my toys, she's on my side of the bed, I don't want dinner here, I want to stay at the beach, why do I ALWAYS have to take a bath." They're completely unreasonable on vacation, much as they are at all other times of their existence. They're kids. It's what they do.

So, I know that should I suddenly have triple the funds that you have and were able to go on such a trip, I wouldn't have the same kind of vacation that you would have anyway. I would still have a good vacation, but not the same kind. So, thank you. Thank you for having a sane, calming, relaxing vacation with no one whining about the size of the raisins in their toast. And thank you for posting the pictures for me.

DINKs, dear DINKs,

Thank you for living with me in the suburbs. I love to see you sitting on your patios, sipping your margaritas, laughing quietly like adults do, and never having to worry that a toddler is drowning in the pool or tangling himself up in the hammock (for the fifth time). It refreshes me. Just because I can't have something doesn't mean I don't want others to have it.

This, I believe, is how most childless-by-choice people feel about parents. Just because we don't have that, doesn't mean we hate that you have it (well, as long as we're not DadCamp). And I like to see it.

And double thank you to the DINKs who will sometimes invite my family over to partake in what would otherwise have been a childless soiree. If you think I don't understand the sacrifice you have made, I do. You've changed your whole scene, and I thank you.

Thank you also for living in the suburbs with me where you pay taxes for the school system even though you do not have kids going to school. This is a debt I can never repay. Well, I mean, I'm sure the parenting community must do something to improve your lives. I just can't think of anything right now...Bueller?

When DadCamp says "my best friend is married, no kids. He moved in to his childhood neighborhood, across from his old school which is now closed. It sits empty because too many empty nesters sucked the demand dry," I simply cannot fathom what he is talking about. In what childless mecca could he and his family actually live where there are so few children in the suburbs that a school sits empty due to the dry-sucking of DINKs?

Could the school be sitting empty, perhaps, because the taxes everyone (including DINKS) are paying made it possible for the district to build a new one? I may need to see some numbers here, DadCamp. (Also, I really like saying DadCamp.)

Thank you for being well-rounded human beings who may very well enjoy baking cookies on a Wednesday night as much if not more than a weekend getaway. That was an odd generalization for DadCamp to make.

Personally, I would rather have the weekend getaway. And I know a childless, married friend who would rather make the cookies. Because we're individuals. Children or no children does not account for personal taste and pleasure. Just saying.

Thank you for putting up with the drool of the parents who say things like "You have half the expenses and double the income!" out loud in a whiny, typed-out tone. Most of us only think it because, derp, these are choices that we have made. Choices. Like you made, too. They both have good points and bad points.

Of course, if one of the good points of being parents is supposed to be that we're "showered in family" with "children and grandchildren to keep us company" perhaps we'd better improve our attitude a bit (throat clear...DadCamp...cough). Just because these people are related to us doesn't mean they'll be around when we're old. We have to keep a good relationship with them in order for that to happen. And whining about how awesome DINKs have it on the internet probably isn't the best start. Also, what if one of those dozens of grandchildren we're all going to be showered with decides not to have children? Quite the conundrum we've now stumbled upon, eh?

In conclusion, DadCamp (God, I love saying DadCamp) "wonders how happy a childless couple will be when they’re at the end of the line?" And I answer, I have no idea, but I'm betting it depends on the couple and the two people within that couple. I'm betting it will have absolutely nothing to do with their lack of children by choice.

You can't just make up random pretend problems for people that they'll have in thirty years just to make yourself feel better now.

Instead, why not sit back, cut the gum out of your hair, steam clean a carpet, and put the lovely brood to bed--so you can log onto Facebook and take a mini-vacation, courtesy of the childless people on your friendslist.

Thank you, DINKs.

Oh, and PS - I actually love your sticker.

Courtesy original Babble article. Because the title of the article is too good.

 

Recipe Monday - Salisbury Steak

Delicious salisbury steaks in less than 30 minutes!

1 1/4 lbs ground beef
1 tablespoon Worcestershire sauce
1 small onion, diced
1 tablespoon steak seasoning (I use Montreal Steak spice)
1 cup sliced mushrooms
2 tablespoons butter
2 tablespoons flour
2 cups beef stock
salt and pepper



1) Gently combine ground beef, worchestershire sauce, steak spice and onion - be careful not to overwork the meat mixture.

2) Shape the meat into oval patties

3) At medium to high heat, fry the meat patties approximately 6 mins on each side - turn only once.

4) Remove the cooked patties to a platter and cover to keep them warm.

5) Add butter to the same pan and melt.

6) Add the mushrooms, salt and pepper to the pan, saute until golden brown

7) Sprinkly the flour over the mushrooms and cook for 1-2 mins until flour has absorbed the butter 

8) Whisk in the beef stock and cook until thickened. Check for seasoning.

9) Serve gravy over the meat patties.





 

Moment of the Week - 139: Get Ready for Bed!

Wait! Please, please, please! WAAH! Yup, that's about right.







 

Preschool Pointers - 35: Bring Them With You

Problem:

You have some adult things to do, like bring a paper to your college campus before 6 p.m., pick up some food for dinner, or run errands. You have no one to watch the kids.


Solution:

Just do it. Just bring them. Tell them what you are doing beforehand, and how you need them to behave. At four, they should be able to do you a favor. Like behave. Haha.

Now, expect these errands to take you triple time, and know that you have to make the trip about them. It took us an hour to walk to and from my car on campus to drop off that paper. Every flower had to be smelled, every hill had to be run down, every new thing had to be explored. But I learned a lot about my campus that I didn't know before.

For the food? Just bring them. And do what you want, seriously. It was the last day of my semester, so I wanted a drink to celebrate. So I had one while we waited for the food. Now, I'm not advocating taking your kids to last call at a dive bar, but having a margarita at a family restaurant while you wait for your take-out is okay. No matter what that lady giving you the side-eye over there thinks.

There comes a point when you have to start treating your babies like big kids. And yeah, it will be hard at first as they get used to their new responsibility of having to act like an actual and reasonable human being. But practice makes perfect. So keep trying.




 

So, You Think You Want to Promote Yourself, Huh?

Over on the writing blog, I'm talking about how to gain more followers who are actually interested in what you are doing and will share your stuff because they like it. These work.

...

Promoting yourself.

It seems like such an easy thing to do. With all these social networking sites, giveaways, support groups, and of course, your own genius, you should have hundreds of followers by next Wednesday if you just work hard enough, right?

Wrong. It has nothing to do with how hard you work. (Okay, a little bit to do with that, meaning, you actually have to post and spend time on your various sites.) And, little known fact, if you actually work too hard, in the wrong ways, you'll actually get yourself banned or suspended from the sites you're trying to grow.

Before we get into specifics, let's get your basic outline ready. (If you don't think you need this...you do. Many, many people forget their original promotion goals as they start down this path.)

So, here's the way to promote yourself, and build your audience organically. Remember, you want them to like you, not be annoyed by your existence.

CLICK FOR THE FIRST FIVE WAYS TO PROMOTE YOURSELF.