Another Chopin? I think so.
Sunday, December 5, 2010
Saturday, December 4, 2010
Toddler Tricks - 16
Ways to trick your baby:
Problem: Your toddler won't do what you want.
Solution: Entice them with something that they weren't expecting. For instance, if you use lollipops usually to "positively reinforce good behavior," and you would like to lessen their pop intake or you have, heaven forbid, run out of pops, or they are plain sick of pops, try something completely different, like cheese.
We've also used pretzel sticks, yogurt juice and other more healthy items as bribery. The great thing about having toddlers is they don't yet know what is good for them and what is a bad-for-them treat.
Ways your baby tricks you:
Problem: Your kids don't want anymore food. You cannot dangle anything delicious in front of them to get them to do what you want because they're not buying it. Or you need them to do something where a food treat would set you back a few steps, like get dressed for bed or brush their teeth.
Solution: Train your kid to think of the chore as the reward. It's easier than you would think, and the younger you start the easier it is. For instance, I can get my kids to do almost anything they need to do by promising to let them brush their teeth or wash their hands afterward. They love getting dressed for bed because they get to pick out their own pajamas. How about this one? If you pick up your toys, mommy will give you a bath. Works every time.
Problem: Your toddler won't do what you want.
Solution: Entice them with something that they weren't expecting. For instance, if you use lollipops usually to "positively reinforce good behavior," and you would like to lessen their pop intake or you have, heaven forbid, run out of pops, or they are plain sick of pops, try something completely different, like cheese.
Ways your baby tricks you:
Problem: Your kids don't want anymore food. You cannot dangle anything delicious in front of them to get them to do what you want because they're not buying it. Or you need them to do something where a food treat would set you back a few steps, like get dressed for bed or brush their teeth.
Solution: Train your kid to think of the chore as the reward. It's easier than you would think, and the younger you start the easier it is. For instance, I can get my kids to do almost anything they need to do by promising to let them brush their teeth or wash their hands afterward. They love getting dressed for bed because they get to pick out their own pajamas. How about this one? If you pick up your toys, mommy will give you a bath. Works every time.
Friday, December 3, 2010
Feeding Babies for the Win
I had the honor of guest blogging for Fearless Formula Feeder today about my decision to formula feed. It was a tough decision, never once made easier by societal pressures, but I'm glad I did it, and I hope my story can help others who feel down on themselves.
__
It’s 3 p.m. My month-old twins are crying, but they are so tiny - their lungs so weak - that their little cries sound like a few quiet ducks quacking in the distance. They are hungry, of course. They are always hungry.
For some reason, they missed the memo on how babies are supposed to eat. That memo probably comes out at 36 weeks, to give the unborn some quality reading before they make their way out into the world. With a whole month to digest the information, maybe babies born at 40 weeks have properly studied the technique and are sucking geniuses right off the bat. That’s all conjecture, of course; I could be totally off base.
Thursday, December 2, 2010
It's Teething. Trust me.
My husband laughs at me. My babies are teething. That's no laughing matter, of course, as anyone who has dealt with a teething baby can tell you. He laughs at me because, in my opinion, my babies are always teething. My babies have been teething since day one, or at least since month three. As soon as the experts gave me a ready-made, go-to excuse for their seemingly uncalled for tears and distress, I took it and ran.
Crying because they don't want to eat? Teething. Crying because they're overtired? Teething. Crying because they can't communicate? They must be oversensitive because they're teething. Most importantly, though, when they cry for no discernible reason, it's definitely teething.
As they've gotten older, it's become much easier for me to tell why they are crying. The communication issues are clearing up, they eat more or less on a schedule, and I make sure they take a nap for everyone's sanity. Yet, there are still days when the whimpering, whiny, crying, 24-7-hug-needing baby appears. I have nowhere else to turn. It must be teething.
I will never understand why, as babies, when there is so much other growth and learning to overwhelm and scare us, we would have evolved to suffer sharp hard points shreading our gums for the entirety of the first two years of our existence. Is there not some easier way for teeth to appear in our mouths? And if poking through sealed membrane is the only answer, must it be so drawn out? If the pain must be constantly present, why not make it last a more reasonable amount of time, say, three weeks. This throbbing and pulsing until the relief of a breakthrough teases the baby into a feeling of security that the pain is over, only to have it start again, and even worse this time, because the molars are coming in. The gradual crescendo of pain, with each tooth supposedly being harder on the child than the last, can hardly be good for that child's mental state.
Using teething as a catch-all crank-maker is helpful to parents who might otherwise be at the end of their rope. Even if the reason behind the crying is not always teething, for the most part, it is something that will pass relatively quickly. I have on many occasions blamed teething for fussiness, only to have that fussiness resolve itself with no tooth in sight.
"That's great!" I tell myself with a pat on the back. "I guess it stopped bothering her."
The only question remaining is what I am going to do once these final molars pop through. I'll finally be left with no one to blame but myself and the universe at large.
Until then, though, it's teething. Trust me.
Crying because they don't want to eat? Teething. Crying because they're overtired? Teething. Crying because they can't communicate? They must be oversensitive because they're teething. Most importantly, though, when they cry for no discernible reason, it's definitely teething.
As they've gotten older, it's become much easier for me to tell why they are crying. The communication issues are clearing up, they eat more or less on a schedule, and I make sure they take a nap for everyone's sanity. Yet, there are still days when the whimpering, whiny, crying, 24-7-hug-needing baby appears. I have nowhere else to turn. It must be teething.
I will never understand why, as babies, when there is so much other growth and learning to overwhelm and scare us, we would have evolved to suffer sharp hard points shreading our gums for the entirety of the first two years of our existence. Is there not some easier way for teeth to appear in our mouths? And if poking through sealed membrane is the only answer, must it be so drawn out? If the pain must be constantly present, why not make it last a more reasonable amount of time, say, three weeks. This throbbing and pulsing until the relief of a breakthrough teases the baby into a feeling of security that the pain is over, only to have it start again, and even worse this time, because the molars are coming in. The gradual crescendo of pain, with each tooth supposedly being harder on the child than the last, can hardly be good for that child's mental state.
Using teething as a catch-all crank-maker is helpful to parents who might otherwise be at the end of their rope. Even if the reason behind the crying is not always teething, for the most part, it is something that will pass relatively quickly. I have on many occasions blamed teething for fussiness, only to have that fussiness resolve itself with no tooth in sight.
"That's great!" I tell myself with a pat on the back. "I guess it stopped bothering her."
The only question remaining is what I am going to do once these final molars pop through. I'll finally be left with no one to blame but myself and the universe at large.
Until then, though, it's teething. Trust me.
Wednesday, December 1, 2010
Atmospheric Pressure
Taking two babies anywhere is a hassle. Taking them out to dinner is usually a disaster. In a restaurant, your attention is divided. You can only dote upon your children while you're not choosing something to eat from the menu, speaking to the waiter, or accepting and clearing dishes. God forbid you actually try to eat anything. The minute your eyes drift to your plate and your lips close around the fork, your kids may or may not be dumping out the salt, sliding off their boosters, tearing open the sugar packets, knocking over your beer, or, worst of all, preparing for a public screamfest.
Even if they're not in the mood to destroy the restaurant, you'll almost never get a relaxing dinner. Candle light is out, booze is - for some reason - frowned upon, and even if you've made it to the ordering stage with nothing being broken, you've still had to interrupt yourself to pick up dropped crayons just over one million times in the past 15 minutes.
While your experience is hardly ever going to be perfect, there is a trend I've noticed that may help you anticipate and mentally prepare for just how rowdy your kids will be on any particular outing.
In addition to worrying about all the factors that play into behavior anywhere you are, like whether or not somebody is teething, sick, tired or hungry, you might want to take the atmosphere of the restaurant you are visiting into consideration.
When we take our kids to Ruby Tuesday's, for example, they are usually more riled up because they know they are in the mall, and why would we want to do something so boring as feed ourselves when we could be pushing them around in mall cars and taking them to the Playland? Their behavior improves dramatically if we manage to get a seat away from the mall entrance. Taking them to a family restaurant results in moderately well-behaved babies, but the excitement and the noise of the place usually sets the tone for our evening. If it's loud, they will be loud. If other children are acting up, they will see it and take their cues accordingly. The saving grace of places such as Red Lobster and The Cheesecake Factory is that raucous behavior from children is something that most diners and waitstaff have come to expect. Your kids don't have to be on their best behavior there, they just have to be better than the worst behaved.
One of our worst experiences was at a Texas Roadhouse. The lighting was dim, the music was blaring, the floor was covered in peanut shells and the babies were out of their minds. Too many new experiences for them, combined with the decibel level in the place made them scared, cranky and more likely to act out, which they did.
One of our best experiences occurred just recently at an Indian restaurant. The place was clearly not prepared for young children. They didn't have crayons, or paper, or even booster seats. They didn't have a distracting television or any music playing. They didn't sell chocolate milk or juice, and they didn't have plastic cups with straws. The waiters were distracted with other patrons and did not give us special attention to accommodate the twins. We mentally steeled ourselves for the worst.
And we were rewarded with the best. Since the atmosphere of the place was calm, the babies were able to take their time and explore the decor at their leisure, make discoveries and share them with us, calmly. It was quiet so they could hear us and they listened to us when we told them not to touch a certain object or not to get down from their chair. They understood that the cups were not their normal cups and that they needed to be extra careful with them. The food was exotic to them (no chicken nuggets served at this joint), but they delighted in tasting it. They could handle all of the changes magnamiously because they still felt secure. They felt secure because the atmosphere around them was soothing. Without a million different things assaulting their consciousness at every turn and making a power-play for their attention at each moment, they felt comfortable enough to slowly take everything in, one object at a time. They knew the other things would still be there when they were ready to turn to them.
A baby will always be a baby and will always need special attention during any outing. But a baby can also reflect the mood of the place in which they find themselves, matching severity to severity and tranquility to tranquility.
All that being said, I don't expect you to be able to take your toddler to a five-star restaurant and have a relaxing experience. I'm just wondering if maybe everyone would be a little calmer if we took a moment to place some of the blame for outbursts on the places we visit and take some of that blame off ourselves and our children.
____
Please vote for Tales of an Unlikely Mother if you like it!
Even if they're not in the mood to destroy the restaurant, you'll almost never get a relaxing dinner. Candle light is out, booze is - for some reason - frowned upon, and even if you've made it to the ordering stage with nothing being broken, you've still had to interrupt yourself to pick up dropped crayons just over one million times in the past 15 minutes.
While your experience is hardly ever going to be perfect, there is a trend I've noticed that may help you anticipate and mentally prepare for just how rowdy your kids will be on any particular outing.
In addition to worrying about all the factors that play into behavior anywhere you are, like whether or not somebody is teething, sick, tired or hungry, you might want to take the atmosphere of the restaurant you are visiting into consideration.
When we take our kids to Ruby Tuesday's, for example, they are usually more riled up because they know they are in the mall, and why would we want to do something so boring as feed ourselves when we could be pushing them around in mall cars and taking them to the Playland? Their behavior improves dramatically if we manage to get a seat away from the mall entrance. Taking them to a family restaurant results in moderately well-behaved babies, but the excitement and the noise of the place usually sets the tone for our evening. If it's loud, they will be loud. If other children are acting up, they will see it and take their cues accordingly. The saving grace of places such as Red Lobster and The Cheesecake Factory is that raucous behavior from children is something that most diners and waitstaff have come to expect. Your kids don't have to be on their best behavior there, they just have to be better than the worst behaved.
One of our worst experiences was at a Texas Roadhouse. The lighting was dim, the music was blaring, the floor was covered in peanut shells and the babies were out of their minds. Too many new experiences for them, combined with the decibel level in the place made them scared, cranky and more likely to act out, which they did.
One of our best experiences occurred just recently at an Indian restaurant. The place was clearly not prepared for young children. They didn't have crayons, or paper, or even booster seats. They didn't have a distracting television or any music playing. They didn't sell chocolate milk or juice, and they didn't have plastic cups with straws. The waiters were distracted with other patrons and did not give us special attention to accommodate the twins. We mentally steeled ourselves for the worst.
And we were rewarded with the best. Since the atmosphere of the place was calm, the babies were able to take their time and explore the decor at their leisure, make discoveries and share them with us, calmly. It was quiet so they could hear us and they listened to us when we told them not to touch a certain object or not to get down from their chair. They understood that the cups were not their normal cups and that they needed to be extra careful with them. The food was exotic to them (no chicken nuggets served at this joint), but they delighted in tasting it. They could handle all of the changes magnamiously because they still felt secure. They felt secure because the atmosphere around them was soothing. Without a million different things assaulting their consciousness at every turn and making a power-play for their attention at each moment, they felt comfortable enough to slowly take everything in, one object at a time. They knew the other things would still be there when they were ready to turn to them.
A baby will always be a baby and will always need special attention during any outing. But a baby can also reflect the mood of the place in which they find themselves, matching severity to severity and tranquility to tranquility.
All that being said, I don't expect you to be able to take your toddler to a five-star restaurant and have a relaxing experience. I'm just wondering if maybe everyone would be a little calmer if we took a moment to place some of the blame for outbursts on the places we visit and take some of that blame off ourselves and our children.
____
Please vote for Tales of an Unlikely Mother if you like it!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
LinkWithin
