Wait a Month (or Two or Three)

Most parents of toddlers have had at least one outing of complete misery for all involved. A day that was planned and supposed to be fun that just went completely off the rails.

For us, that day was a few months ago. We got up bright and early and decided to take the babies to a local fair.  Things came up, and for one reason or another, we didn't leave the house until about 12:30 p.m., aka prime naptime.  But, I thought, we could delay their nap, just this one day.  They'll have so much fun at the fair, they won't even notice.

Wrong.

The first 15 minutes were fine. Then, tiredness set in and, with it, unruly behavior.  They stopped holding our hands, tried to grab things on display cases, and didn't even want icecream. As we tried to make our way to the exit, sensing a big breakdown, Natalina sat down in the middle of the walkway.  That was it.  She just sat. And when we tried to move her, she yelled loudly and rolled away, which would have been okay, except for we were on fairgrounds filled with dirt and hay.  Lovely.

We finally dragged them home, swearing up and down that we would never go to a fair again. What a failed experiment that was.

Fast forward two and a half months to this weekend.  Again, we decided to try a fair.  Again, we didn't leave until after 12 p.m. My husband and I braced ourselves, expecting the worst.

Instead, we were rewarded for our risk. The babies were perfect angels. They held our hands, went from booth to booth, danced, sang, played with various toys and ate lunch on a stoop with no trouble at all.

Babies and toddlers develop so quickly that a few months, which seems like no time at all to us, is like a lifetime for them.

So, if you've attempted a trip, or an activity, and it went down in flames, don't give up on it entirely.  Just wait a month, or two, or three.  You may be pleasantly surprised at how very different life will be by then.

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I Don't Understand the Pro-Life Movement

Rather, I don't understand certain factions of the pro-life movement.  I mean, what is it they stand for, anyway?

For most of my life, I thought that pro-lifers believed life began at conception, and therefore it would be murder to abort a fetus at any stage.  This puts the needs of the fetus before the choice of the mother and her right to her body.  The crux of the argument is that at conception, a child is a child and no longer simply part of the mother's body.

Why, then, would some members of the pro-life movement choose to fight for a bill that proposes outlawing abortions after the first heartbeat can be medically detected?

Of course, I understand why in the short term.  They must be looking at this as one battle in the war against abortion.  If they are able to somehow move the marker on the slope up, they figure it will be easier to fight and win the next battle, which, one would assume, would be making abortion illegal.

Here's my problem with this:

If you are pro-life because you truly believe that a human being starts to exist at the moment of conception, then you are doing your ideology no favors by pulling a stunt tactic at a hearing (having a fetus testify), for a bill that does not stop abortion, but only changes its legality point.  You are, essentially, acknowledging that human life later in gestation is more important that human life early on in gestation.

I understand "baby steps" and "means to an end" and all that...but I don't understand how people in the pro-life movement could subscribe to this bill.  It's unsatifactory to them, and it's unsatisfactory to pro-choicers. It severely limits a woman's right to choose, as with new technology heartbeats are detected earlier and earlier, and some may not even know they are pregnant before their window of choice is shut, and it suggests that it's okay to terminate a fetus before a certain stage.

As a means to "trick" the government into essentially banning abortions, I suppose it's all right.  Fairly witty in its delivery.

But I thought one of the main points of the pro-life movement was the moral superiority on which it stands.  Pro-lifers are able to say, right now, in black and white terms, that they support life (unless, of course, they also support the death penalty, which is another can of worms...).  That's a statement that, stripped of its applications, sounds really good, really moral, really right.  I support life.  I like that statement.  It makes me feel like a good person.

If I were a pro-life supporter, the entire concept would be ruined for me, however, if my group began saying, "Well, we can't ban abortions entirely, yet, so let's settle for this arbitrary cut-off." It misses the point of what I've been brought up to believe is pro-life.  It sounds suspiciously close to "if you can't beat them, join them," with an uncomfortable undercurrent of wily trickery as the movement prepares to achieve its main goal.

To me, a move like this only detracts from the movement by hollowing their morality stance in the name of playing politics.

But, what would I know?  I'm pro-choice afterall.


Articles of interest:
http://www.daytondailynews.com/news/ohio-news/unborn-child-to-testify-on-ohio-abortion-bill-1093746.html

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2011/02/23/AR2011022303701.html


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Serve Families First

This is going to sound privileged and whiny, but hear me out. Parents with children should be served first.  I know it looks like I'm out for special treatment and think the world owes me because I chose to drag my brood into the restaurant, post office, wherever, but it's not just for my sake.  It's for your sake.  It's for the sake of the other patrons.

Please, don't read me wrong. I don't wish that you ignore your other customers. And if you choose to see to them first, I would never complain, as that's really the way things should be.  But, I'm telling you from experience, if you bend the rules just slightly, your shift will run a lot more smoothly. Three minutes of waiting to the couple to our right is a much shorter time than three minutes to the toddlers I have with me. And that couple will most likely enjoy their meal much more if they don't have toddlers accidentally spilling their milk across the room, or wailing loudly, or singing silly songs at the top of their lungs.  All of these things happen when toddlers are forced to sit in one spot and bored.

So, when we've just been seated, and you're done rolling your eyes at having to serve the family table, (it's okay, I'd roll my eyes, too, but we'll leave you a good tip) and we put our drinks in, really, go and get our drinks.  It will help us distract the babies while you tend to your other, less offensive, patrons. When you come back with those drinks, if you ask to take our order, it will take you mere seconds and save precious and annoying minutes off the other end.

If we're not yet ready to order (and, trust me, we will try very hard to be ready as soon as possible), and you say you'll be back in a minute, try to be back in a minute. Normally, when diners aren't yet ready to order, it gives the waitstaff a reprieve to check on other tables, take a break, find out what's going on in the kitchen, etc. Now, you have every right to do that, should we need another minute, but, again, if you come back quickly, it may save everyone around us a huge headache. There are only so many times we can point out letters on the sugar packets before one of those packets gets torn open, know what I mean?

Now, parents should be able to control their kids, it's true, and you have no responsibility toward them if they can't or don't. We do absolutely suck sometimes. (Sometimes, we're awesome, the kids behave, they're cute, they don't ruin anything or make a mess, and we leave a big tip for your hassle. This is what every parent strives for, I assume.)

The most important time to be quick, though, for everyone, is after the meal is over.  Usually there is a nice, slow, three-step process here, in which a server drops off the check and leaves, the patron puts the money or the card in and waits, the server after taking care of hungry customers on whose tip he or she is still depending, comes back and takes the money.

A slight adjustment here would help parents, servers, and other customers.  When the check is delivered, wait for two seconds longer than normal.  The parent will most likely pull out a card right away because at this point we are dying to leave the restaurant.  There is nothing left with which to distract the kids, no promise of forthcoming goods or fun, and nothing new to show them.  We need to leave, and we need to leaev now. When the parent whips out the card in a flash and gives it to a server, the server would do well to run it right away and give it back.  The sooner the family gets out of the restaurant, the better, for all involved.

I'm not saying parents deserve special treatment. We certainly do not.  However, should you choose to give it to us of your own voilition, things might be better for everyone.  Don't do it for us; we're the jerks who showed up and  ruined your shift.  Do it for you.  You have the power to salvage that shift, yet.

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Moment of the Week - 28

Bubble popping is serious business.

Toddler Tricks - 28

Ways to Trick your Baby:

Problem: You're out to eat and your children do not want to sit still. They're wriggling and whining and attempting to escape. Surely there are more interesting things in the restaurant that the silverware they can't touch and the sugar packets they got spoken to about ripping open.

Solution: Use booster seats.  With the added fitting walls around them, they'll feel more at ease in their lot.  If the boosters aren't enough (because there's no way to anchor a seat to the chair, and the willful toddler can topple one over in moments), seat them in the restaurant high chairs.  Those have straps and are quite stable.


Ways Your Baby Tricks You:

Problem: You've allowed your children to sit on the big chairs in a restaurant without a booster or a high chair.  They know it can be done.  From this, there is probably no coming back, and no made-for-the-child solution.

Solution: Sit only in booths.  Seat the children on the inside and yourselves on the outside of the booth.  With a built-in mommy or daddy barrier, we've found the temptation to scramble out of the seats to mass disapproval is much less.  Plus, the high backs and structure of booths discourage climbing around to get a beter view.  If the children really need to look around, when they stand up, there's less likelihood they'll fall because there's nothing to topple over.

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