French Meatpie - Guest Post

We all know by now that I'm not much of a cook, nor can I take pictures. But Sarah over at The Answer Is Garlic can do BOTH. Amazingly. Here's her awesome recipe for French Meatpie. I'm laughing just thinking about how my pics of this would have turned out.

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One of the reasons I love cooking is that food is very nostalgic to me. This recipe is one that's been passed around my family for a long time. I always think back to a few years ago, when my parents and I were making a trek to Wegman's to get supplies for Thanksgiving dinner. My mom asked me to call her mother (my Memere) to ask if she had any requests. She asked me to make a "meat stuffing". Confused, I asked her what was in a meat stuffing. She said "Oh, you know. Beef, and pork. And potatoes. And those spices, and onions and garlic." I said that it sounded like the base for meat pie, and she said "Yes! That's what you make out of the leftovers. I'd like a meat pie." We laughed, because according to my mom, they'd never made stuffing like that, but they sure did make meat pies for holidays.

This is the ultimate in comfort food, for me. It may sound weird to you if you've never had a meat pie, but trust me, it's wonderful. Spicy and homey, and it will certainly fill up your belly. Peasant food is good that way.

Full disclosure: I cheated with this and used a pre-made pie crust from the refrigerator section of the grocery store. I know, it's shameful. I really am not fantastic at making homemade pie crust, no matter how easy everyone tells me it is. I'm working on it. In the meantime, there really are tasty pre-mades out there. You don't even have to tell anyone.

I think one of the keys to this pie (and most ground meat dishes, really) is using both ground beef and ground pork. Ground pork doesn't have a ton of flavor, but it's lighter, and really adds moisture. I use equal parts here, about 3/4 of a pound of each. You can also substitute ground turkey, chicken, veal, bison, lamb or meatloaf mix here. Just be sure to use a combination.

Another key to getting the perfect texture to this pie is one I almost forgot about. When I was pulling this together, there was a flurry of emails with my cousin Nicole and her mom, my Aunt Sue, as well as my own mom, about ingredients, proportions, timing. It's such an old family recipe that none of us (save maybe my Aunt Sue) has it written down anywhere, we make it from memory and asking each other the parts we forget. Nicole and I both forgot that one of the most important binders in this recipe is very, very finely diced potato. It's diced so small that it all but disappears into the filling, but it's essential in holding the pie together and thickening it up. I used a few Yukon golds, but a russet would work nicely as well.

It's also important, when browning the meat, that you break it up as finely as you can get it. You don't want any chunks of meat OR potato, you want it to be wholly incorporated and broken down. Sometimes I cook the meat first, pull it off into a bowl, and then cook the diced onion and garlic. Then I add the meat back and cook in the potato. Sometimes I saute off the onions and garlic first and then cook in the meat (it really depends on if I am feeling ambitious enough to drain off some of the fat. This time, I did not feel so ambitious).

Once this is all combined, it's just adding the liquid and the spices and really developing the flavor before baking it off.

Cook it all down until the potatoes are soft, then break them up. I think an important step at this point is pulling the meat off the heat and giving it time to cool before adding it to the pie crust. This helps ensure that the bottom crust cooks up crisp and not soggy. No one wants a soggy bottom crust.

This is an excellent time for a glass of wine. You can't make a French dish without a glass of wine, am I right?

I like to egg wash the bottom crust before adding the filling as well as the top crust.

Bake and enjoy!

French Meat Pie
double pie crust (homemade or store bought)
1 large white or yellow onion, diced
3-5 cloves of garlic, minced or grated (my preferred method is grated)
3/4 pounds ground beef
3/4 pounds ground pork
3-4 Yukon gold potatoes, very finely diced
1/2-1 teaspoon ground clove (or more to taste)
1 teaspoon ground allspice (or more to taste)
1 teaspoon ground cinnamon (or more to taste)
1-2 cups stock or water
1 egg, wisked with a few TB of water to make an egg wash
3 TB butter or olive oil
salt and pepper to taste
ketchup, for serving

Preparation
Pre-heat oven to 350°. Prepare and set aside pie crusts, or take out pre-made crust and bring to room temperature.

Heat a large heavy-bottomed skillet over medium-high heat and add butter or olive oil. Add in onion and garlic, season with salt and pepper, and saute until soft, 5-8 minutes. Add in ground beef and pork and cook, breaking down, until all the pink is gone and it's very combined and fine, about 10 minutes. Season with clove, allspice and cinnamon and stir to combine (note: clove is a strong spics. I go heavier on the cinnamon and allspice to start, and then adjust to taste). Add in finely diced potato and the water or stock (the liquid should just about come up to the level of all the ingredients in the pan, use as much as is needed to do that) and simmer until potatoes are soft and the liquid is absorbed, about 10 minutes. When soft, mash a bit with the back of a fork to break up the potatoes. They will still be visible but start to combine, and will break down fully when baking. Taste the mixture and adjust seasoning as needed.

Move the mixture to another dish or allow to cool, stirring to help it along. This should take about 15 minutes, but it's a crucial step to the ever-important non-soggy crust.

Roll the bottom crust into a 9-inch pie dish. Brush with the egg wash. Spoon the filling mixture into the crust and smooth out so it's even. Roll the top crust over the filling and crimp the edges. Egg wash the top, and cut a few slits in the crust for the steam to escape.

Bake at 350 for a half hour, or until golden brown. You may need to use foil or a pie crust protector to prevent the edges from getting too brown. Allow to cool for a few minutes before cutting, to let the filling set.

Slice and serve with ketchup. Trust me on this one.

Comfort food defined

Notice how broken down the potato gets

Mmmm flaky crust

I know it sounds weird, but the sweet/tang of the ketchup is perfect with the spice of the filling

For more real recipes and mouthwatering pictures, stop by The Answer is Garlic!


 

Ask a Cleaning Lady - How Do I Keep It Clean?

Today Smibbo has an incredible list of ways you can make cleaning easier on yourself. And Lord knows I need them.


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By far the most common question I get when I show up to a job is “What can I do to make sure it doesn’t get like this again/keep it clean?”

Well, that answer always tends to be a bit long so here we go…

1. More trash receptacles. Not once have I ever seen enough trash receptacles at a deep clean site. In my opinion, every room where you do something needs a trash receptacle, whether its tiny or huge. I’m still amazed people will have a room that is obviously their favorite, where they spend the majority of their time but not ONE trash receptacle anywhere! Or if there is one, its at the other end of the room, usually overflowing because the receptacle is tiny and decorative.

Look, if its a place you rest your bones and veg out, you’re going to need a place to put your trash. Unless you get up for every snack, every nose blow, every manicure, you NEED a trash receptacle by your favorite resting spot. And it needs to have a bag. Because favorite resting spots tend to get all manner of trash, not just paper. If you don’t use a bag, the receptacle itself will begin to smell funky over time.

If you’re a parent, you need AT LEAST one large receptacle in every room. If your child is old enough to run, they are old enough to learn to throw things away properly. Let it be one of the FIRST things you teach them. Let it become automatic. IF you impress this rule upon them at 2 or 3, they will be doing it without thinking by the time they are ten. Trust me. Older kids often are a big help here because they get to be tiny dictators to the younger ones.

2. Better lighting. Most places I am hired to clean, I end up pulling curtains back and opening doors because its too damned dark to see. Once I do that, I can see all the nasty dustbunnies and fur balls that have accumulated in the corners and along the baseboards. So when you have been cleaning, you didn’t see this stuff, so you didn’t clean it. Then to your great astonishment, the place you just cleaned a couple of days ago, looks hopelessly filthy again in no time. That’s because all the stuff you didn’t see? It rolled around and covered everything in a fine layer of new filth. If you can’t see it, you can’t clean it. Add more lamps, get higher wattage bulbs, whatever – just add more light. It always looks nicer too.

3. Designate a place for your shoes and socks. People have no idea how much crap they track in from outside. If you start parking your shoes when you come in, you will notice a big difference in that wave of dirt that keeps migrating in from your front door. It won’t cure it, but it sure will help. Plus, when you go to bed at night, you’ll see the bottoms of your sock and have a better idea of how clean or filthy your floor really is. If you see me walking around my house with my shoes on, its because I know my floors are filthy and need to be cleaned. Going shoe-less is more comfy anyway. I’m surprised more people don’t do it. I know some people like to take their shoes AND sock off when they come home. For them, I say put a small clothes hamper by the shoe dock.

4. Stop using bar soap. Okay, this one is a biggie for me because its so prevalent yet so, so nasty. Bar soap is comprised of many things but one of those things is fat. That fat does not rinse completely away. Every time you use bar soap, you leave a tiny trail of dirt attached to bar soap molecules that stick to your shower/bath walls. It takes some time but eventually that dirt trail becomes visible as a brownish coating. This coating is EXCEEDINGLY hard to remove. The longer it’s built up, the harder it is to get rid of. I did one job where I literally scraped it off the shower wall for an HOUR. This was a single-person abode. The customer had never once cleaned their shower. For years. Once I was done, he was blown away at how bright his shower stall was.

Bar soap is nasty, it leaves a sticky icky coating that solidifies into something ungodly. By all that is good in this world STAHP using it!

Use liquid soap. Liquid soap is a different composition. It is detergent, not soap. Which means its actually gentler on your skin as well. More importantly, it rinses clean. Even if you don’t rinse it, it doesn’t build up like soap does. If you like, shampoo will do the job just as well. Just no more bar, I am begging you.

5. Close certain rooms off from pets. Face it, your pet has fur. Your pet sheds. THe fur that it sheds goes everywhere. Fur is fine and delicate and often hard to see. It also sticks to tile like nobody’s business! If I had a curse jar for every time I’ve battled fur sticking to bathroom tile, somebody would have their college paid for in full. I hate pet fur. But I really hate it in a tiled bathroom.

Also, pets do leave effluvia behind when they sit. If you have your room open or your office or whatever, the pet will go in there and sit because that’s where you are. If you can contain the area of contact, it is easier to clean and keep clean. Especially rooms that have off-the-floor furniture (like a bed)

6. Brush your hair every day, in the same place. NOT in the shower. You are asking for a visit from your plumber with all the hair you let slide down the drain. Just brush it beforehand in a place you can easily sweep or vacuum it up later. Or over a trash can. That’s what I do. Even if your hair is short.

7. When you spill something, don’t just leave it there. Don’t just wipe it with a bare paper towel and walk away. Use a spray, a slightly soapy sponge or cloth or even plain water. Once you wipe up what you see, squat down and wipe the area. I guarantee you there is splatter. It may just be a few drops but those drops accumulate over time and darken the walls, doorways, floor, baseboards. If I had a dollar for every time I had to sit on the floor SCRUBBING splatter off of baseboards I wouldn’t have to clean for a living any more.

8. Ladies: Take your tampon out while standing/squatting. NOT while sitting on the toilet. Use a folded toilet paper in your other hand to catch the tampon when it comes out and you won’t get a mess anywhere. Every time you take one out while sitting on the toilet, it swings and hits the underside of the seat and that stuff is HELL to scrub off.

Men: keep a bottle of rubbing alcohol in the bathroom. Pick a day, any day of the week, and resolve to on that day, wipe behind the seat hinge of the toilet. It is easy, it takes three seconds and it won’t hurt you in the slightest. Just fold some toilet paper, pour a little rubbing alcohol on it, and wipe just behind the seat hinges. Your urine spray accumulates there at a frightening pace. For gawds sake wipe it once a week. And if you have to pee when you’re stumbling drunk, fer crying out loud SIT DOWN.

9. Learn to throw away Kipple. Kipple is the paper detritus that breeds in your home, usually the desk or kitchen counter. Stop saving it. That coupon you think you might use? You won’t. If you really were going to use it you’d put it in your purse or wallet. That offer you got in the mail for a new blahblah at half price? Toss it. If you had really wanted a new blahblah at any price you would have already bought one. If its something you have to really be enticed to go buy, then you probably don’t need to buy it in the first place.
Whatever your weakness is, throw it away. And while we’re on the subject, wherever you usually go through your snail mail, put a trashcan specifically for kipple.

10. Brush your teeth with your lips closed. Preferably bend over the sink somewhat. Stop spraying the mirror: it doesn’t make your teeth cleaner to make a mess while brushing. After you’re done brushing, rinse the sink. It takes two seconds. Use your hand to cup some water, then sling the water at the sides of the sink. Bam! Clean sink.

11. If you go in a non-kitchen room with food or drink that requires a non-disposable container, use a tray or bring a bin with you. When you are done with your food/drink, put the dish/es on the tray or in the bin. You will feel too lazy to take your dishes back to the kitchen right away, but its always likely you’ll be walking by later not doing anything in particular and you can grab the tray or bin and take it to the kitchen.

12. If you don’t want to wash your dishes right away, SOAK THEM. Just pour some water on those puppies before you walk away.

13. When something spills, WIPE IT UP. It helps if you have paper towels or rags in every other room. You can stash rags in drawers, you can hide a roll of paper towels under a coffee table.

14. When you use the microwave, put a paper towel under whatever you’re heating. No exceptions. When you take your food out, you can leave the towel or throw it away. Because there’s a garbage can nearby, right?

15. Groom your pets.
16. Keep a dustbuster by your couch or your desk.
17. When you vacuum, take a second to vacuum the baseboards, the indentations in doors and lampshades.
18. More laundry hampers. I’ve never met a client yet who had enough laundry hampers.

19. Don’t nag your partner/roommate about picking up, give them a list. Don’t even say anything, just leave it where they will find it. They are an adult, they don’t need instructions, but many people do need a list.

20. Pick a specific place for: your keys, your glasses, your cell phone, your lotion, your “important weird thing I need to attend to within a week”, your medicine, your vitamins, your lighter, your cigs/pipe/snuff, and never, ever, EVER listen to your brain when it says “I’ll just put this here for now… I’ll get back to it later” because you know good and well you’re never going to find it again.

Bonus: When you can’t find something, start cleaning up.

For more amazing cleaning tips and hilarious stories, visit Smibbo!




 

Recipe Monday - Lemon Spice Mahi Mahi

This has been the most delicious way I've yet prepared Mahi Mahi.

4 mahi mahi filets, about 6 ounces each

Seasoning (see instructions):
Olive oil
Kosher salt
Garlic powder
Onion powder
Dried dill weed
Lemon pepper
Sweet Hungarian paprika

1 Tablespoon olive oil
2 Tablespoons butter, divided use
1/2 cup sweet white wine (may substitute fish or chicken broth) ... I used broth. I needed the wine.
Juice of half a lemon (reserve other half for garnish)
1/2 teaspoon honey mustard

Preparation:

Rub each mahi mahi filet with olive oil, then sprinkle both sides of the fish lightly with each of the listed seasonings.

Preheat broiler on high.

Place a large, heavy, oven-proof skillet over medium-high heat. When hot, add olive oil and 1 tablespoon of the butter, swirling to combine and coat the pan. Sear filets until golden brown on one side. Remove to a platter. Add wine, lemon juice, and honey mustard to the hot skillet. Whisk, scraping up any browned bits, and cook until liquid is slightly reduced and thickened. Whisk in remaining tablespoon of butter.

Return fish to the skillet, uncooked side down, and place in the broiler 6 inches from the heat. Broil 8 to 10 minutes, depending on the thickness of the fish. Serve with pan sauce and garnish with lemon slices, if desired.




 

Moment of the Week - Kids bouncing balls

Kindergarten Kids - Eat your Food!

Problem:

Sometimes, kids are picky eaters. And sometimes (like in my case) they just don't like to eat at all. At 5 and a half, my kids stand at 44 and 43 inches respectively, and weigh 40 and 35 pounds. They're not in danger, healthwise, but they are thin.

And they don't like to eat.

Doesn't matter what it is. Their favorite food, their least favorite food. The most you can get out of them willingly is a few bites.

In fact, up until way past when I should have (think 3), I was feeding them. Because somehow, getting that fork from the plate to the mouth is the longest, most arduous journey that has ever been undertaken. And it happens at least three times a day.

The joy!

Solution:

What I've taken to doing is giving them more than I would normally give them. Because my kids exist to make my life miserable, so as long as they feel like they're getting one over on me, they're more likely to do what I need them to do. Like eat.

So that as long as they get to leave half their food on the plate, they don't care how large that half is. To them, they've won the battle of whether or not they have to eat their whole dinner. And to me, I've won the battle of getting them to eat just as much food as I would have given them normally.

Then I make a show of not wanting to let them leave the table because there's still food on their plate (because if this were too easy, they'd get suspicious). And when I let them get up "after two more bites" they are pleased at their will being indulged.

Only not. Because I win again, you fools!

Sometimes, anyway.

The extra food I either eat or pack it up for the next time, because, honestly, we're not rich enough to just waste a whole bunch of food to play a game like this when I really should just force my kids to eat what's on their plates.

Whatever. I do what I've got to do. It's working, so far.