Sunday, March 3, 2013
Saturday, March 2, 2013
Preschool Pointers - 28: You Don't Have to Distract All the Time
Problem:
Your kids aren't being reasonable (again!). You've asked them to do something and they won't do it, and not only that, now they're whining about it (or worse, throwing a tantrum). Or they're throwing a tantrum over over whether or not they get to shut the door, or how red the leaf they picked up is or is not. Whatever. Whatever it is that they're being feisty all over is ridiculous.
Solution:
While many parents distract, distract, distract, I tend to think that by four years old, some of that technique is held over from when the kids were smaller, less verbal, less able to think critically. And sometimes, even at four, you do need to distract, lest the whole public area you're in tumble down in the disaster about to be thrown at you. But sometimes, I think, anyway, your kids need to man up. (Or at least my kids.) I want fully fledged humans, here, and I want them to reason through their problems, prioritize and compromise. I don't want them to be good-natured because someone showed them something shiny to get their mind off their troubles. So, sometimes, I'll throw down. You broke a bit of your ice cream cone? Well, you're just going to eat it anyway, so hop to, and next time be more gentle. No, I'm not going to get you interested in how the ice cream looks at it melts or sing you a song or make you a new one. Just do the things you need to do.
It's not that this should be the only way, but I'm thinking the time has come now to integrate it into the distraction motif, and start encouraging overcoming problems rather than avoiding them.
Your kids aren't being reasonable (again!). You've asked them to do something and they won't do it, and not only that, now they're whining about it (or worse, throwing a tantrum). Or they're throwing a tantrum over over whether or not they get to shut the door, or how red the leaf they picked up is or is not. Whatever. Whatever it is that they're being feisty all over is ridiculous.
Solution:
While many parents distract, distract, distract, I tend to think that by four years old, some of that technique is held over from when the kids were smaller, less verbal, less able to think critically. And sometimes, even at four, you do need to distract, lest the whole public area you're in tumble down in the disaster about to be thrown at you. But sometimes, I think, anyway, your kids need to man up. (Or at least my kids.) I want fully fledged humans, here, and I want them to reason through their problems, prioritize and compromise. I don't want them to be good-natured because someone showed them something shiny to get their mind off their troubles. So, sometimes, I'll throw down. You broke a bit of your ice cream cone? Well, you're just going to eat it anyway, so hop to, and next time be more gentle. No, I'm not going to get you interested in how the ice cream looks at it melts or sing you a song or make you a new one. Just do the things you need to do.
It's not that this should be the only way, but I'm thinking the time has come now to integrate it into the distraction motif, and start encouraging overcoming problems rather than avoiding them.
Friday, March 1, 2013
Guest Post - Family Vacations
Today I've a guest post on family vacations, most of the destinations being quite local, in fact.
Top Family Holiday Ideas
It is time for your annual family holiday, and you are stuck for ideas about where to go. Before you start considering where to go, think about what your budget is and how much can you afford to spend on the holiday? And take into consideration spending money, travel insurance, any fuel costs or parking fees to get to and from the airport, the accommodation and anything else that will cost you any money.
Here is a family holiday to suit every budget:
Disney World and Disney Land:
Is the ultimate fantasy for children, every kids wants to go to Disney world or land, see all the characters and ride on the rollercoasters and fairground rides that they have available.
This is an excellent choice as a family holiday as there is something for all the family to do,
everyday. If you have children you will know how easy it is for them to get bored, even on a luxurious holiday they can get bored with playing in the swimming pool or making sand castles on the beach, Disney land or Disney world offers so much variety and how so much going on that your children will never be bored.
Both Disney world and Disney land offer accommodation for the family to stay in, and with this include tickets for the family to go on all the rides. In the accommodation itself there is a variety of entertainment and games for children and, of course, swimming pools and play areas that the children can use. Not to mention, there are bars and areas for adults to wind down and relax, taking some time away from the children.
When you are considering Disney land or Disney world, think about the fact that it is most likely going to cost you more to holiday there, meals and drinks will most likely cost a little more, furthermore there are a lot of souvenirs, toys and games available for purchase, all of which your child wants but all of which are more expensive than buying something similar elsewhere. Be ready to have to spend a lot of money to spend time in Disney land and World.
Beach holidays:
Beach holidays are perfect for children, you will be amazed at how much time they can spend in the swimming pool or in the sea, or on the beach building sand castles, playing beach games and burying the new friends that they have made. You can book a beach holiday just about anywhere, so you don’t have to go far if your budget doesn’t allow it, furthermore, most beach holidays offer an all-inclusive service. This means that you don’t have to worry as much about spending money, even if you don’t have a lot and it runs out after a few days, you know you will have all of your food and drinks covered in your all-inclusive package, and you can still enjoy the rest of your holiday.
These types of beach holidays usually offer children’s clubs and have fun and games throughout the day to keep children entertained, a few of them even offer a childminding service, meaning you can take an hour or two away from your child if you wish.
Haven or Butlins holidays:
Stay within the UK and drive to whichever butlins or haven holiday resort you like the look of most. These kinds of resorts always have a children’s club and usually have something going on all day, every day to keep the children entertained. They will have shops and restaurants on site that aren’t too pricey, and you have the option to cook for yourself as you’ll be in either a caravan or a chalet.
Camping holidays:
The cheapest and most adventurous of holidays for families are camping holidays. With no restrictions or limitations as to where you can go, camping is holidaying with freedom.
Read more ideas of memorable vacation with your family by just visiting http://www.vacation-rentals.com/vacation-rentals/florida.html
Top Family Holiday Ideas
It is time for your annual family holiday, and you are stuck for ideas about where to go. Before you start considering where to go, think about what your budget is and how much can you afford to spend on the holiday? And take into consideration spending money, travel insurance, any fuel costs or parking fees to get to and from the airport, the accommodation and anything else that will cost you any money.
Here is a family holiday to suit every budget:
Disney World and Disney Land:
Is the ultimate fantasy for children, every kids wants to go to Disney world or land, see all the characters and ride on the rollercoasters and fairground rides that they have available.
This is an excellent choice as a family holiday as there is something for all the family to do,
everyday. If you have children you will know how easy it is for them to get bored, even on a luxurious holiday they can get bored with playing in the swimming pool or making sand castles on the beach, Disney land or Disney world offers so much variety and how so much going on that your children will never be bored.
Both Disney world and Disney land offer accommodation for the family to stay in, and with this include tickets for the family to go on all the rides. In the accommodation itself there is a variety of entertainment and games for children and, of course, swimming pools and play areas that the children can use. Not to mention, there are bars and areas for adults to wind down and relax, taking some time away from the children.
When you are considering Disney land or Disney world, think about the fact that it is most likely going to cost you more to holiday there, meals and drinks will most likely cost a little more, furthermore there are a lot of souvenirs, toys and games available for purchase, all of which your child wants but all of which are more expensive than buying something similar elsewhere. Be ready to have to spend a lot of money to spend time in Disney land and World.
Beach holidays:
Beach holidays are perfect for children, you will be amazed at how much time they can spend in the swimming pool or in the sea, or on the beach building sand castles, playing beach games and burying the new friends that they have made. You can book a beach holiday just about anywhere, so you don’t have to go far if your budget doesn’t allow it, furthermore, most beach holidays offer an all-inclusive service. This means that you don’t have to worry as much about spending money, even if you don’t have a lot and it runs out after a few days, you know you will have all of your food and drinks covered in your all-inclusive package, and you can still enjoy the rest of your holiday.
These types of beach holidays usually offer children’s clubs and have fun and games throughout the day to keep children entertained, a few of them even offer a childminding service, meaning you can take an hour or two away from your child if you wish.
Haven or Butlins holidays:
Stay within the UK and drive to whichever butlins or haven holiday resort you like the look of most. These kinds of resorts always have a children’s club and usually have something going on all day, every day to keep the children entertained. They will have shops and restaurants on site that aren’t too pricey, and you have the option to cook for yourself as you’ll be in either a caravan or a chalet.
Camping holidays:
The cheapest and most adventurous of holidays for families are camping holidays. With no restrictions or limitations as to where you can go, camping is holidaying with freedom.
Read more ideas of memorable vacation with your family by just visiting http://www.vacation-rentals.com/vacation-rentals/florida.html
Thursday, February 28, 2013
One Month, TWO Books!
I have two books coming out this month!
First up is a sexy menage thriller full of drugs and international spies. Just the Messenger comes out for No Boundaries Press on March 5th, and the cover is just gorgeous.
Check it out!
Then at the end of the month, my dystopian, sci-fi romance Direct Contact comes out for Resplendence Publishing!
This one is full of revolution and government take-down from the inside, and, of course, love!
Find the cover and blurb here!
First up is a sexy menage thriller full of drugs and international spies. Just the Messenger comes out for No Boundaries Press on March 5th, and the cover is just gorgeous.
Check it out!
Then at the end of the month, my dystopian, sci-fi romance Direct Contact comes out for Resplendence Publishing!
This one is full of revolution and government take-down from the inside, and, of course, love!
Find the cover and blurb here!
Wednesday, February 27, 2013
The Layers of Racism...It's Like an Onion, Really
Look, I get it, I really do. Some poor schmoe who gets paid like two cents a tweet for The Onion made a bad decision.
And it was really bad.
But I see where he was going. Taking the sweetest, most innocent, freshest and possibly most talented face at the Oscars--someone who was beyond reproach (because that is what would make the joke funny)--and using the crassest language possible to point out the error in the ways in which the Oscars are both produced and reported.
Who looks the worst? Who's drunk? Who's gotten botox?
It's all garbage, and that's what the man behind the tweet was trying to say.
But that is not what he said.
And to those of you blathering about how no one can take a joke, and we're all clearly missing the intention of the humor and free speech and blah, I've just started this post with proof that, no, I get it.
And I still hate it.
And I'm not even going to defend Quvenzhane Wallis, not because she doesn't deserve to be defended, but because those who supported the Onion's tweet are saying it's not even about her.
It's not about a young child, it's not about a girl, and it's definitely not about a young black girl. People who think it is are just obtusely missing the point. In fact, the supporters of this humor didn't even notice she was black!
First of all, yes you did. Unless you are literally blind and had no access to media during the release of the movie, and during the Oscars and really for all of time (in which case, you wouldn't have heard about the tweet) you noticed her skin color.
What you meant to say was this: Her skin color didn't matter to you. You would have made the same shitty joke about a little white girl, you swear.
Okay, so let's give you the benefit of the doubt and say you would have. Even though you didn't.
The problem is this: It's not up to us to say skin color doesn't matter to us. While it can be a grandiose step in what might be the right direction, it erases centuries of pain, hardship, loss and despicable treatment that is not ours to erase.
As bell hooks said in 1992, white people cannot reach out to black people to combat racism saying, “we’re ready now, let’s be friends. Subject to subject contact between white and black which signals the absence of domination, of an oppressor / oppressed relationship must emerge through mutual choice and negotiation.”
We don't have the right to say when racism is over.
Here's a comment from my friend's blog, the post to which I linked above: "You clearly have not reached the stage of post-racial."
No. No, she hasn't. That's the point. Neither has the person making that comment, although he (or she) thinks he has. "Color blindness" not only minimizes incredible strain and hardship in the distant and recent past for minorities, it also implies that the problems they face today are not there. It subverts efforts to bring about true equality by saying that what we have now is equality. And it is not.
These paltry attempts we make as white people to make ourselves feel better, to allow ourselves to prematurely congratulate ourselves on wiping out racism, are exactly that: paltry attempts.
“[Modern racism] eschews old-fashioned racist images, and as a result, stereotypes are now more subtle, and stereotyped thinking is reinforced at level likely to remain below conscious awareness” (Entman & Rojecki 1992).
My point here is that the little girl is black, and we cannot go around saying we didn't notice or that it has no bearing on the situation, as spectators. Maybe it doesn't. Maybe she will tell us that, or her parents will. They're pretty much the only ones who can make that call.
And it was really bad.
But I see where he was going. Taking the sweetest, most innocent, freshest and possibly most talented face at the Oscars--someone who was beyond reproach (because that is what would make the joke funny)--and using the crassest language possible to point out the error in the ways in which the Oscars are both produced and reported.
Who looks the worst? Who's drunk? Who's gotten botox?
It's all garbage, and that's what the man behind the tweet was trying to say.
But that is not what he said.
And to those of you blathering about how no one can take a joke, and we're all clearly missing the intention of the humor and free speech and blah, I've just started this post with proof that, no, I get it.
And I still hate it.
And I'm not even going to defend Quvenzhane Wallis, not because she doesn't deserve to be defended, but because those who supported the Onion's tweet are saying it's not even about her.
It's not about a young child, it's not about a girl, and it's definitely not about a young black girl. People who think it is are just obtusely missing the point. In fact, the supporters of this humor didn't even notice she was black!
First of all, yes you did. Unless you are literally blind and had no access to media during the release of the movie, and during the Oscars and really for all of time (in which case, you wouldn't have heard about the tweet) you noticed her skin color.
What you meant to say was this: Her skin color didn't matter to you. You would have made the same shitty joke about a little white girl, you swear.
Okay, so let's give you the benefit of the doubt and say you would have. Even though you didn't.
The problem is this: It's not up to us to say skin color doesn't matter to us. While it can be a grandiose step in what might be the right direction, it erases centuries of pain, hardship, loss and despicable treatment that is not ours to erase.
As bell hooks said in 1992, white people cannot reach out to black people to combat racism saying, “we’re ready now, let’s be friends. Subject to subject contact between white and black which signals the absence of domination, of an oppressor / oppressed relationship must emerge through mutual choice and negotiation.”
We don't have the right to say when racism is over.
Here's a comment from my friend's blog, the post to which I linked above: "You clearly have not reached the stage of post-racial."
No. No, she hasn't. That's the point. Neither has the person making that comment, although he (or she) thinks he has. "Color blindness" not only minimizes incredible strain and hardship in the distant and recent past for minorities, it also implies that the problems they face today are not there. It subverts efforts to bring about true equality by saying that what we have now is equality. And it is not.
These paltry attempts we make as white people to make ourselves feel better, to allow ourselves to prematurely congratulate ourselves on wiping out racism, are exactly that: paltry attempts.
“[Modern racism] eschews old-fashioned racist images, and as a result, stereotypes are now more subtle, and stereotyped thinking is reinforced at level likely to remain below conscious awareness” (Entman & Rojecki 1992).
My point here is that the little girl is black, and we cannot go around saying we didn't notice or that it has no bearing on the situation, as spectators. Maybe it doesn't. Maybe she will tell us that, or her parents will. They're pretty much the only ones who can make that call.
Actually, that's not my point. That was my side point. My point is, yet again, that words mean things. And even though you meant the opposite of what you said, you still said what you said. About a little girl. For a cheap laugh. And yes, we all know that no one, especially you, tweet writer, actually thinks Quvenzhane Wallis is that word you called her.
And no, it doesn't matter.
Think before you type. There are so very few lines in this day and age. Why would you cross one like that? And I realize that the joke is damn near impossible to pull off if you use anyone but a child as your vehicle. Because people will take you seriously. And I think now we've all realized that people will still take you seriously. Because words mean things and even if you didn't mean those words, meant the opposite of those words, that message is still being digested by millions of people around the world.
And if there wasn't this backlash of know-it-ally bloggers fighting what we consider "the good" fight? And if the Onion hadn't been forced to take down the tweet and apologize? Well, how many 12-year-old boys (or girls) would have seen it and assumed that kind of language and message was okay, was funny, was cute? Because talking doesn't ever lead to action, right? People, especially young people, speaking words that they've heard those they respect say, that doesn't subconsciously solidify opinion, right? That doesn't normalize behavior, set an example, enhance a point of view, does it?
But maybe it does.
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