Moment of the Week - 58: Dance Party!

The babies Twist Again!




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Toddler Tricks - 58: Getting Them to Shut Up

Problem: The title sounds a little harsh, but if your toddlers are anything like mine, they talk your ear off. They talk and talk and talk, and it's not passive conversation where they're content to babble at you, nor is it regular conversation wherein they understand that they are supposed to say something and then you are supposed to reply, bringing new content to the flow. That will only confuse and upset them. They'll think you aren't understanding them and freak out. So how do you hold a toddleresque conversation without your partner breaking down into tears?

Solution: Repeat them. Exactly. Word for word. Do not attempt to vary your response. Do not attempt to repeat them and then add on a normal response. Do not try to repeat them in a different tone of voice. Simply parrot exactly what they have said back to you. "I cried about the yellow couch yesterday, mama."

Correct response: "You cried about the yellow couch yesterday, baby."
Incorrect 1: "Yes, you did cry about the yellow couch yesterday."
Incorrect 2: "You cried about the yellow couch yesterday, but today you are happy."
Incorrect 3: "Yes, we shouldn't cry over the yellow couch, should we?"

Another important component of this solution is that you cannot fake it. If you cannot understand each word clearly, attempt repetitions until you can figure it out. They'll not accept this for example: "I love me sugar bowl, mama," if they've said, "I love my spiky ball, mama." Even if you say the words you cannot understand exactly as the child has said them...they know. So that I can't get away with "You need ooney ceecee" if she means, "I need honey cereal."

Young toddlers are still unsure of their conversational prowess. By repeating them, it may not seem as if you are forwarding their conversational skills because that's not how real conversation works. But you are forwarding their skills by giving them confidence in their words. By repeating them exactly, they are reassured that you heard and understood them, which is a cornerstone of conversation. With toddlers, it's all about the basics.

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It's Only Socialism When it's the Other Guy

"If anything the United States is in the dark ages when it comes to maternity leave." --Megyn Kelly, Fox News

Now, I know this happened a month ago, but I needed that time to get my head around this. Conservative Fox News host who has time and time again come out against "entitlement programs," bashed government help, called for the retraction of "government tentacles in our lives," and said that the only reason we couldn't get rid of such programs was because people were so used to handouts from the government...is protecting maternity leave rights?

Oh, right, because she just had a baby and got paid for three months while she was out. As I firmly believe she should have been. I only got half-pay for three months, and you know what, I sang the virtues of my employer through the rooftops. Because as Megyn says:

"Just in case you didn't know, Mike, I want you to know that the United States is the only country in the advanced world that doesn't require paid maternity leave."

I felt damn lucky. I got to stay at home with my preemie twins and care for them and help them to grow and not fail to thrive, and my employer was kind enough to give me three months to do that. Had I only taken six weeks, they'd have paid me in full for that time. My employer was amazing. Megyn's is even better.

But is she humbled by this great favor? Is she thankful and understanding of how lucky she is? Maybe. But I'd say she comes off as rather...well, entitled. Again, as I feel strongly she should.

"What is it about giving birth and carrying a baby nine months that you don't think deserves a few months off so bonding and recovery can take place?"




Here's the link to the Fox News clip in case the embed doesn't work.


Of course, Megyn Kelly of 2009and 2010 disagrees. (I love it when the Daily Show does my work for me.)



"This is the problem with entitlements. They're really only entitlements when they're something other people want. When it's something you want, they're the hallmark of of a civilized society, the foundation of a great people. I just had a baby and found out that maternity leave strengthens society, but since I still have a job, unemployment is clearly socialism." --Jon Stewart, The Daily Show



You go, Megyn Kelly. You take Mike Gallagher to task. But while you're at it, take yourself, too. You know that health care reform you all hate so much? It would help those less fortunate than you also receive the benefits and care you so received, and maybe, just maybe, inch us away from the dark ages.

But those people aren't you, so you probably can't see them all the way from the Fox building in NYC.


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Blog on Fire

Jo over at Bum Bum Germs gave me an award this week. The rules are I'm to write seven things about myself, and then give the award to five other bloggers. Thanks, Jo!

So, here goes:

1) I always underestimate the time a task will take me. In fact, just now I spent NINETY MINUTES cleaning out my upper cabinets. I'd sectioned an hour for BOTH the upper and the lower cabinets. Fail.

2) I bite my nails. My mother says I've been biting them since before the babies' age. So far, they don't bite their nails. YAY FOREVER. Last week I'd been able to let my nails grow for two or maybe even three weeks. The nails hadn't even reached the end of my fingers at that point. Gross. I'd really like to pain my nails, too. Anyone have any suggestions?

3) I have no idea what my future looks like. The only thing I know about it is that my family will be there. That's all I need to know, to be honest.

4) Autumn is my favorite season. I particularly miss Connecticut at this time of year. Quite sharply actually. The hoodies, the flannels, the boots, the jackets, the pumpkin spice lattes, the leaves -- they all fill me with hope and joy for some reason. Florida may not have changing vibrant leaves, but it does have amazing autumn sunsets.

5) I ate sushi and went to a three-hour movie six hours before I gave birth. (In my defense, they were early. In defense of the sushi...whatever, I do what I want. Oops.)

6) On the rare occasions I sing karaoke, I'll usually sing You Give Love a Bad Name by Bon Jovi.

7) Halloween is my favorite holiday, but I still don't know what to dress the girls as. The possibilities...

Now, to give this award to 5 blogs that are awesome:

- Aias dot ca; This blog is topnotch. Hilarious, cute, wonderful, clever and smart.
- Crazy About My Baybah; An intimate peek into family life, full of love, happiness and a dash of sarcasm here and there.
- Heart Shaped Leaves; A crafty, cooky blog, but with the event of a new baby in the mix, lots of squishy newborn pictures!
- The Woman Formerly Known as Beautiful; a blog right up my alley, plus she just outstripped me on Babble's list, so you know she's got to be good!
- Diaries of a Grumpy Grateful Mom; honest, genuine, down and dirty and yet full of light, this blog will make you laugh.


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Livestreaming Now - Three Year Olds

Have you seen this?

Jason Good hit gold with this little diatribe of thoughts that must run through his two year old's head.

At three, children are so much more mature, you've no idea. They've truly grown and expanded their horizons. By which I mean they're still thinking the exact same thing only they can talk, so instead of having to make up a monologue for them, they give it to you. Until your ears bleed from the utter joy at hearing their dulcet tones...yet again.

At three, they've done my work for me. I now present to you the conversations held with me during the three minutes it took me to read about three minutes in Jason Good's baby's life.

Mama, video!
Down basket!
Nooooooooo!
Green couch, down basket, WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
You want Cat in the Hat, Lilly? You want Cat in the Hat? Lilly. LILLY. You want Cat in the Hat?
No! Down basket! Green couch!
Hey! Don't kick the green couch.
Yes!
No! No, Lilly, don't kick the green couch.
WAAAAAH!
WAAAAAH!
Mama, Lilly is kicking the green couch!
-Lilly, stop kicking the green couch.
No! Kick it!
Nooooooo! Don't kick it.
Hey, your nose is wet. Mama, Lilly's nose is wet.
No! My nose is dry!
Your nose is wet, Lilly.
No, it's dry.
No, it's wet.
No! WAAAAAAAAAAH!
Mama, don't wash Bean. I love Bean.
I need Cheezits, mama. I don't like breakfast. I need Cheezits.
No! Not Cheezits. I want pretzels.
No! WAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
I want more honey.
I need my shoes.
I want to wear a diaper. I'm a baby.
No, you're a big girl now, Lilly. I a baby.
No, Dulce. I a baby.
No, me!
No, me!
WAAAAAAH!
Mama, you nice? Hug on the green couch! Kiss me!
No, no kiss her.
Yes, kiss me!
I have to go potty. ... Ta-da! Wipe me, wipe me!

At this point I give up and start praying to the coffee gods that nap time comes soon. Even when they're not fighting constantly, they are talking constantly. I mean constantly. Jason Good won't have to wonder what his child is thinking soon enough. His child will tell him. His child will give him a livestream of toddler information from dawn until dusk.

Oh, and she'll continue with her love of pushing buttons and fearing that mommy has disappeared forever. Only that love will be louder.

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