The rise and fall of hormones in women who have just given birth as they continue to interact with their infant as it grows has been well documented. But what about those same hormones in dads?
A new study, just released, shows that fathers also experience a rise in the love hormone as they interact with their child. It also shows a correlation between the mother's hormone level and the father's. If a woman is experiencing PPD, the father's hormone level tends to stay low as well, which may explain some of the depression dads can feel after their partner gives birth to a baby.
This study was done only on what Americans would call "the traditional family," and as I continue to talk about the results, you'll see that there is no way to broaden these findings to include all families. I can only hope there are several other studies in the offing right now that study the hormone levels of adoptive families, gay couples, and others who would not fit into this very slim mold.
Researchers say that the hormone, oxytocin, rises in dads when they are teaching babies - pulling them up to sit, showing them how to see the world around them, playing with them. Mothers experience a hormone boost when they gently handle babies - comfort them and caress them. All of which, they say, may explain why children tend to look for dad when they want a happy playmate, and to seek out mom when they're feeling bad and need reassurance.
In my opinion, this is a very preliminary study, full of holes and vagueness, but one important thing its publication can perhaps do is encourage fathers to be a part of their children's lives as they grow. Clearly there is room in a child's heart for every adult looking to give him love, and no adult should feel tied to any "traditional" duty or feeling.
As we continue to progress as a society, men as a group are slowly coming off of that 'manly' image they have felt, throughout history, the need to portray.
The point of this entry is - man, woman, mother, father - the words don't mean anything. You can be yourself. You intuitively know how to love your child, and you'll know if something isn't quite right. You'll know if your feelings of sadness are too much. Don't second guess. Within the ever-complicated politics of family life there is room for everyone and for every feeling.
Your baby will love you from day one. And we don't need a study for that. Your baby will love you whether or not you fit into the slim mold of test subjects for this particular study. Your baby will love you whether you are a mother or a father. Your baby will love you whether you play with him or cuddle him. Your baby will love you.
Showing posts with label postpartum depression. Show all posts
Showing posts with label postpartum depression. Show all posts
Tuesday, October 5, 2010
Friday, September 10, 2010
Beating Depression
Postpartum depression - a serious condition that is finally getting the attention it deserves from both doctors and sufferers. Because of newfound understanding in the medical field, countless mothers have been safeguarded - have been saved - from harming themselves or their children. Because of newfound understanding in the public eye, mothers need not be afraid of the stigmatism that formerly went along with such a diagnosis, if such a diagnosis was even given. While this understanding does not lessen the pain or still the symptoms, mothers no longer need feel so alone - bearing their cross, wondering what is wrong with them, feeling like failures.
But what about fathers?
A new study published Monday says in the first year of a baby's life, as many as one-fifth of fathers can suffer from depression. I think these results could go a long way in helping both mothers and fathers understand the feelings rushing in on them as they struggle to stay afloat during the first few months of their child's existence.
As adults, particularly as parents, we all seem to go just a little hard on ourselves. Responsibilities continually rush in, finances rise and drop, relationships between spouses, coworkers, and immediate family are close then strained then close again. Because all of these things are happening to us, we assume they're happening because of us. We sometimes think we can change all of those variables using only our strong characters and stronger wills. When we can't, well, we've added more to our pile of stressors. Now add a baby.
Financially, a baby is, at best, a burden. Everybody knows that. During these past few years, however, job stability has spiraled downward, leaving many parents unsure if they'll be employed tomorrow - forcing many more out of the job market entirely.
A baby requires a lot of attention. Many parents think they're ready for this kind of mind-numbing call-and-response, but even the most well-read, prepared adult can be thrown for a loop if their child has colic or is high-needs. Even easy babies like mine take all that I have each day - and have been doing so for two years now. Parents are setting themselves up for failure if they try to live up to the standards they set for themselves before the baby was born. It's impossible.
The attention that a baby needs not only saps energy from every adult within cry-hearing distance, it also changes the dynamic between partners and between older children. While this sometimes leads to jealousy or hurt feelings in those to which a new parent is closest, more often it results in just one more thing for that new parent to feel bad about. They sometimes feel that they're letting the new baby down, letting their other kids down, and letting their spouse down all in one fell swoop.
Change is always hard. It's harder when you don't take each facet of that change into consideration. Depression isn't just hormones, it isn't just genetics. Depression can hit anyone, and many times the triggers occur outside the body.
What I'm trying to say is it's okay to have a bad day. It's not your fault. And if you have several bad days, bad weeks, bad months, go to your doctor. There may be help out there for you. No one will look down on you, and you might end up feeling a lot better. New parents, you have a lot on your shoulders - it's okay to get off your back.
**CNN article linked above: http://pagingdrgupta.blogs.cnn.com/2010/09/06/dads-get-baby-blues-too/
** For more information:
http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/postpartum-depression/DS00546
http://www.postpartummen.com/
But what about fathers?
A new study published Monday says in the first year of a baby's life, as many as one-fifth of fathers can suffer from depression. I think these results could go a long way in helping both mothers and fathers understand the feelings rushing in on them as they struggle to stay afloat during the first few months of their child's existence.
As adults, particularly as parents, we all seem to go just a little hard on ourselves. Responsibilities continually rush in, finances rise and drop, relationships between spouses, coworkers, and immediate family are close then strained then close again. Because all of these things are happening to us, we assume they're happening because of us. We sometimes think we can change all of those variables using only our strong characters and stronger wills. When we can't, well, we've added more to our pile of stressors. Now add a baby.
Financially, a baby is, at best, a burden. Everybody knows that. During these past few years, however, job stability has spiraled downward, leaving many parents unsure if they'll be employed tomorrow - forcing many more out of the job market entirely.
A baby requires a lot of attention. Many parents think they're ready for this kind of mind-numbing call-and-response, but even the most well-read, prepared adult can be thrown for a loop if their child has colic or is high-needs. Even easy babies like mine take all that I have each day - and have been doing so for two years now. Parents are setting themselves up for failure if they try to live up to the standards they set for themselves before the baby was born. It's impossible.
The attention that a baby needs not only saps energy from every adult within cry-hearing distance, it also changes the dynamic between partners and between older children. While this sometimes leads to jealousy or hurt feelings in those to which a new parent is closest, more often it results in just one more thing for that new parent to feel bad about. They sometimes feel that they're letting the new baby down, letting their other kids down, and letting their spouse down all in one fell swoop.
Change is always hard. It's harder when you don't take each facet of that change into consideration. Depression isn't just hormones, it isn't just genetics. Depression can hit anyone, and many times the triggers occur outside the body.
What I'm trying to say is it's okay to have a bad day. It's not your fault. And if you have several bad days, bad weeks, bad months, go to your doctor. There may be help out there for you. No one will look down on you, and you might end up feeling a lot better. New parents, you have a lot on your shoulders - it's okay to get off your back.
**CNN article linked above: http://pagingdrgupta.blogs.cnn.com/2010/09/06/dads-get-baby-blues-too/
** For more information:
http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/postpartum-depression/DS00546
http://www.postpartummen.com/
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