5 ways a dog helped my kids

When I first got our puppy, Fletch, I was told in no uncertain terms by someone that it would be a huge mistake, that we weren't prepared to be pet owners and that my kids would literally kill the dog. (I swear.) Not only has that not happened, but I can say with authority that having this puppy has really helped the mood of our household overall, not least because he's there for my kids in a myriad of ways only a dog could be.

1) He will always play with them.

Mom working on the computer again and can only make bracelets with the kids for ten minutes? Don't worry! Fletch is there with a ball to help them out of their doldrums.

2) He takes the blame.

I don't know how many times missing shoes, broken toys and huge messes have been blamed on this little guy. We always laugh about it, because it probably wasn't Fletch who forgot to flush the potty after all.

3) He's always there for them.

My kids are really sensitive, so when they have to be reprimanded, they take it hard (for like a second before they go right back to misbehaving again). But nothing in the world is better than a live snuggle buddy who loves you no matter what when you're feeling down.

4) He LOVES them so hard.

Every morning when they wake up, he'll spend a half hour celebrating this momentous occasion. When they come home after being away, or even if they just come inside after playing outside for a bit, all bets are off for ten minutes while he licks them to death and wags his tail ecstatically. He does not hide his emotions, and his emotions are OMG YOU ARE BACK I HAVE MISSED YOU SO MUCH LET ME LOVE YOU RIGHT NOW I CANNOT HANDLE THIS. They love it and need it in their lives.

5) He gives them something to take care of.

They worry over him, and take charge of him as if he were their own kid. They help feed him and give him water and take him outside and make sure he's feeling happy all the time. This has the added benefit of them realizing that the sun doesn't rise and set on their faces alone. With a smaller thing in their lives, they see that they might not be the end-all be-all forever for everyone, and that other things may also need our compassion and strength. It's helping them (slooooowly) become big girls.

Fletch has been the perfect addition to this family. Absolutely.

In which Facebook tells me my kids will kill a dog

Facebook.

Lovely Facebook.

I realize most people use the social media platform to show the world their ideal selves, throw up their highlight reel. I use mine more like a blooper reel, to  be honest, and for the most part, that serves me well.

I don't care if people know my house is sometimes messy, or if my kids sometimes misbehave. I make mistakes, and I post about those. I fail in the kitchen, in the home, in trying to be fashionable, in writing, in life. And I post about it. Because I'm a real person and I just don't have the energy to put my best foot forward. Sometimes I don't even have a best foot, it's true.

That said, just because I share things that aren't all roses and sunshine all the time, doesn't mean Facebook friends know me any better than they know anyone else. They certainly don't know me better than I do.

That said, I got a dog a few weeks ago.

Before I got this puppy, I had done a lot of research online, finding the right match for our family. I'd been looking since October. I also have had and trained a few dogs in my lifetime, though none so small (he's a Chorkie, and will top out at 8-10 pounds) and none while I had a family.

Facebook, though, didn't know that. Facebook only knew that I posted a picture of the little guy along with the status: "Going to see this little guy tomorrow. If all goes well, we'll be getting a puppy."

This was enough to set the social medium on fire, apparently.

Amid the squeals of omgcutepuppy, there were a few concerned yet respectful comments inquiring as to whether I knew what I was getting into with a puppy. Understandable. As much as I share on social media, I hadn't found reason ever to go into my history with dogs, or even (aside from one comment months before) to indicate that I was researching puppy options for the family. I put those fears to rest with a brief explanation. Then I got this comment:

"How long are you home everyday? Aren't you gone quiet a bit with grad school? And doing other stuff. A small dog that is going to top out at ten pounds most can't really go more then two hours with out bringing them outside when they are itty bitty puppies. With two kids who can go from fine to freak out in two seconds a small puppy could easily get hurt,or a broken bone or worst case dead are you prepared for them to fight over a puppy and how to handle that? Also asking which is better to house or crate train makes me think you have not really 100% thought this through and you're just thinking omgPUPPY. And while they may look cute I also don't think a yorkie corgi mix is really a good mix for your family. You could end up with a nightmare nuerotic dog real quick. Please look more up on both breeds and search around for puppy classes and if you really do plan on impulse buying a puppy and get it to puppy classes ASAP. And I hope you're not paying a ridic amount for basically a mutt."

So much wrong with this comment. Not that I have to defend my life or my choices, but I'm not gone hardly at all. I'm home basically always. I thought crate training meant training the dog to go to the bathroom inside. Crate training and house training were the same to me. So, yes, got me on misuse of terminology. Not a Corgi mix. Not an impulse buy. And for someone so concerned about the apparently downtrodden and horrid life this dog is about to have, that last line calling him a mutt and not wanting me to spend money (ie: ensure I make a commitment to this decision) stands out as odd.

Now.

How about we deal with this: "With two kids who can go from fine to freak out in two seconds a small puppy could easily get hurt,or a broken bone or worst case dead are you prepared for them to fight over a puppy and how to handle that?"

I'm sorry, but no matter how well you think you know me, Facebook, it is totally inappropriate to imply my children would kill a dog. They are six. They're not going to tear it apart like a stuffed animal because they can't control themselves.

This was my reply at the time.

"Thanks. I'm home all day. My kids won't break the pup's bones either. I've bought and trained dogs before, as well. Though they were 25-40 American Eskimos. My kids also won't fucking kill the dog."

I figured that would be it. Thank you for your slightly inappropriate concern, here's why it's not valid, have a good day. Nope. More puppy drama ensued (puppy drama, Facebook. Are we serious?)

I was unfriended and then a status was made about how my home isn't stable and said ex-friend wasn't going to stand by while I let a puppy into this house.

Oh.

You're right, Facebook. This is clearly a dog fearing for his life, daily.

I made a few statuses about it myself, because when you're fighting on Facebook over a dog, you can't let such an important topic drop, amirite?

The first status just let Facebook know that while I appreciated its concern, I simply didn't tell the medium everything, and rest-assured, I pretty much had a handle on my life at all times, as wacky as my statuses may sometimes seem.

Thankfully, most of my friends have good senses of humor, and I got these types of responses:

"Good lord is this over the fucking DOG? Buy the dog, fuck anyone who thinks you're under qualified or over paying. Can you take a dump without everyone commenting on the size/shape/color?"

"Hang on, I have lots of relevant advice for you. I would hate for you to make a decision for your family without my super important input you didn't ask for."

"AS EXPERTS ON YOUR LIFE AND LITERALLY EVERY SINGLE DOG BREED OR CROSS BREED IN EXISTENCE, LET ME TELL YOU WHY I THINK YOU'RE A TERRIBLE PERSON FOR BUYING A PUPPY."

We continue to have fun with it. I let everyone know I also have a fish they didn't know about and everyone clutches pearls in jest. Someone asks me if we're breaking up.

"Well, I guess that depends on whether you think my kids are big enough assholes that they'd straight kill a dog.
If yes, we may have to go our separate ways. But don't worry. I'll pick up the check. Right after I impulse buy a puppy that I never researched until right now when I posted about it."

And I'm just putting this comment here because it makes me laugh:

"like how have your kids ever come across as aggressive puppy tossing cage fighters? Sure they have their twin moments, but even that seemed like when they were younger like all kids. They don't come across as unruly maniacs who would grab a dog by one end and pull it in half. They seem p level headed from how you discuss them."

Aggressive puppy tossing cage fighters. I die.

Okay, so we all have our fun, the other status that I can't see because I was unfriended is going on, and it's all about how I seriously should NOT get a dog because it spells doom and I'd just be the worst pet owner.

Yup. Totally the worst. This poor creature.

Anyway, I could have let it drop. But, I mean, how often do you get to participate in puppy drama? I'm guessing it's once in a lifetime. So I made one more status. Your typical, searching-for-validation-even-though-it-couldn't-be-farther-from-necessary post.

"I mean, like, there's a difference between brutal honesty and alleging someone's six year old, fairly competent (if emotional) kids will kill a dog, amirite? I think I'm right on this one. Just saying."

I got almost 200 comments validating me when I didn't need to be validated, because I play Facebook. I like validation. I like statuses. I like comments. I like conversations. I also appreciated the level of pure ridiculousness we had reached.

I mean, I'm busy a lot of the time. But when I'm not, you can find me on Facebook, fighting for my right to own a dog.

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So, in conclusion, when you go to comment on someone's status about something you know all the stuffs about, take heed. Maybe the person also knows what they are doing. Maybe their kids actually won't kill a dog.

Always remember, Facebook, you're not my mom.

Caring for Special Needs Pets -- Guest Post

Today, Jill Redding from Pianissamma shares a compassionate story about her new pet and what to do with a special needs animal.

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Atticus the Cute! Photo credit: Tejaswi Kasturi

Meet Atticus. He’s a three-month-old kitten who is as cute as can be. To the casual observer, he might seem like any typical kitten, but take a closer look. Atticus is not a typical kitten at all. He is considered a special needs pet.

Just over a month ago, Atticus along with his mother and one of his littermates were trapped in a crawlspace when a fumigator tented a house without removing the cats first. The trapped kittens survived, but their mother died during the fumigation. Four other kittens from the litter were not caught in the tenting, and they are healthy, but feral. A friend recovered the two injured kittens, and took them in for veterinary care. It was then that she was told that his left paw was paralyzed, and would remain so forever.

Upon closer inspection of Atticus’ X-rays, the vets noted that his elbow was broken and fused together possibly before he was born. The other recovered littermate had a similar injury, same prognosis. Yet, it is not an uncommon injury with cats or dogs. Many an adult pet can get similar traumatic injuries. In the old days, it wasn’t heard of to just put the animal down when injuries like this happened. Today however, the common treatment of this type of injury is amputation, and the pets recover, going on to live full and healthy lives.

Before you ask, “Are you sure?” it should be noted that for Atticus, amputation has already been recommended by several different veterinarians. It will not reduce his quality of life at all. More likely, it will make it better. It will reduce strain and muscle fatigue on the shoulders and right front paw. He will not become less agile, as he already does not use the paw.

Atticus won’t be an outdoor cat, but that isn’t a loss. Indoor cats don’t have to worry about cars or coyotes. And honestly, Atticus isn’t interested in going outside anyway. He prefers a warm lap to sit on, or a cozy corner to curl up in. With a child and two other cats to play with, Atticus is never bored.

More, there are many other dogs and cats just like Atticus waiting for the perfect forever home. Unfortunately, many pets are looked over for adoption if they appear any less than perfect. Elder cats and dogs are left to languish in shelters in favor of puppies and kittens. Injured companions are seen as dead weight, even if they are able to fully recover. Yet while they may seem imperfect to the casual observer, they are almost always so full of love.

Since Atticus came into our lives, we have learned that not only is he sweet, but he’s very resourceful. While we did have to spend a little longer showing him how to use a litter box, and how to properly groom his face after eating, he figured out how to do so within the week. He even got a little help from one of our elder pet companions. More, he functions quite well with just the three paws.

I wanted to introduce you to Atticus, because I want to appeal to anyone hoping to adopt a pet. If you wish to welcome a companion into your home, that’s wonderful! Please don’t discount a potential companion because they lack a limb, have a disability or because they’re older animals. Rather, consider this. They will love you, for who you are- a companion. None of us are perfect, but we are unique and wonderful individuals. As we conclude “National Dog Day” today and await the arrival “National Cat Day” in October, I hope you will celebrate all dogs and cats with me.

The Value of a Horse -- Guest Post

Today we're veering a bit away from parenting to talk about another important care-taking role. If you have horses or have ever enjoyed them, you know what I'm talking about. Last week, MaryAnne was asked if her horse was "valuable." But what does that even mean? And is it an insult?


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I have a horse named O’Hadi. After I ride in the afternoons I tend to run errands in my riding clothes, because I’m already out of the house. Recently I stopped on my way home from the barn to grab a few last-minute groceries. An older woman casually asked me if I rode. I bit back my usual response (“Why, can you smell me?!”) because that seemed rude. I said yes. She said that she used to ride as a girl, and then asked a question that I completely didn’t expect. “Is your horse valuable?” I had no idea what to say to that. I hesitated, and she kept chattering about her horses from her youth, and how they were Walking horses, and were very expensive… ah. She meant money. I told her that it was nice that she had such a lovely childhood, excused myself, and left with my groceries.

The question bugged me all the way home. Valuable? Or worth money? O’Hadi is an Arabian, and a retired endurance race horse. He used to race for miles across open desert. He probably has more airline miles than I do (and that is saying a LOT). I’m positive that he was incredibly expensive when he was bred, raised, and raced. Now? Well, he’s retired and around 30 years old. If we had to sell him (which wouldn’t happen) he would probably just be given away. His worth and his value are so much more than those things though. Let me rewind.

I was the typical little girl who dreamed of horses. They were amazing to me. I read about them, I watched movies about horses, I stared at pictures of them, I drew pictures, collected model horses... the whole deal.  I learned how to ride from my Father’s girlfriend when I was 10. I rode more in my early 20’s, and took lessons for a while. Then I joined the Army, and horses were out of the question. I mean, I didn’t have the time, the energy, or the knowledge to have a horse and drag it around the country. And I didn’t have family who could keep a horse for me when I was away. So, the dream was set on the back burner to simmer gently.

Last Spring I got out of the Army (a HUGE transition that I still struggle with) and moved near a close friend who owns a horse. She invited me to ride with her, and of course I jumped at the opportunity. At first I rode a horse that was being boarded at the farm.  I groomed him, rode him, and even gave him baths. My husband noticed that when I came home from the barn (sweaty, dirty, tired, and sore) I was always in a better mood. I was calmer. More clear headed. Even I could see that there was a difference, and marveled at the changes. At the end of last summer that horse left the farm to live in a place closer to his owner’s house so I started to ride O’Hadi. It seemed to work out well. He was so old that he wasn’t really a great lesson horse anymore, but he was getting depressed at not having the attention and love that had clearly been given him for decades.  He was glad to have the attention I was giving him.

After Thanksgiving I was offered to take a care-lease on O’Hadi. I had never heard of such a thing, but it works like this: I pay for his monthly expenses, ride him whenever, groom him, baby him- but he still belongs to the farm owner, making her (an experienced horse owner) the overall person in charge of his care. Since I’ve never actually owned a horse before, this was totally a great option for me, because it’s less scary. I mean, how do I know when he needs to have a dentist come out? Or the farrier? How do I know what to put on his sores, or where to take broken tack? Yeah, this was a great arrangement.

Agreat benefit of having a horse of my own is that he’s a consistent reason to leave the house. While I love interacting with people, clinical depression gets a vote when it comes to what I do. Some days, making the bed and taking a shower are a HUGE accomplishment. Do I like this? No, not really. And while I do have meds that I can take, I feel like they numb me a little. While I’m less depressed, I also get less excited. All of my emotions are made… less. No good. Horse time doesn’t have these side effects though. There are days when I leave just to go put medicine on O’Hadi’s legs. Or sunblock on his nose. Or sometimes I just go give him treats. And when I really can’t tolerate talking to people, I can still be with him and not be alone. His worth in helping me tackle depression is beyond words.

And I love the outdoors. The woods are my favorite- they always have been. O’Hadi takes me exploring through woods, around fields, near streams, and we see all types of flora and fauna. It’s early summer now, so we’ve been watching the blackberries to see when they ripen, but we’ve also watched primroses, cherries, dogwoods, and tulips as they bloom in turn. We smell the soft perfume of the tulip poplars. We see cardinals, finches, bluebirds, woodpeckers, turkeys, and hawks, as well as rabbits, deer, squirrels, and even one little fox. It’s beautiful to begin to feel so much more connected with the natural world around me. And it’s damned hard to let myself slide back into the realm of “I don’t care” when I’m watching a sunset from the top of a hill, on horseback, and then ride back to the barn watching fireflies appear around us. It’s much too magical for that.

Not looking at the financial part of “value”, O’Hadi came into my life in a place where I really needed him. He filled a space in my heart that I didn’t know was empty, and brings joy, peace, and happiness back into my soul, where it follows into my home, my marriage, and even my relationships with friends. He brings value into my daily life. My husband calls him “the old man”, and has even come out to ride.  He has even been known to say things like “Do you want to go to the barn today? Your horse misses you!” (I’m sure that this is husband code for “Wife, you’re being a bitch and I want to play video games. Please go somewhere else and come home happier.” I prefer him saying it the first way!)

I think I’m more “O’Hadi’s human” than he is my horse. You can see the renewed happiness in his stride, in his body language, and in his expression (which he has a lot of!)  We spend hours together while I groom his coat, brush and braid his tail, treat his crazy old-horse skin to keep him from being itchy from Summer allergies, and even play stupid games. (His favorite? He walks behind me and nudges me with his nose. When I finally turn and look at him, he yawns in my face. Apparently I bore him.) He turns his ears to listen when I talk to him. Some days he’ll stare at me and stamp his foot to MAKE me talk to him. When I brush his face, he sometimes falls asleep. I love him entirely, and he is so much happier to know that he is loved.)

Since I’ve circled back to the “value” thing, we can also look at this from a financial standpoint. O’Hadi’s monthly board costs the same amount as a 90 minute session with a psychologist. I can go see him whenever I want, and stay as long as I want. I ALWAYS come home in a better mood, and have days where I tackle some of my own issues while I work with O’Hadi. I come home wanting to take part in the world’s activities. Yes, I get those same results from the doctor, but visiting her costs a LOT more over the course of a month.  So, in that way, he’s quite a bargain.  

All of that was went to my head as I drove home and tried to think about what I should have said to that woman who asked if my horse is “valuable”.  Lady at the Grocery Store, here is my response:

“Yes, he is valuable. He is worth a hundred good moods, a thousand smiles, dozens of hugs, hours of laughter, and days of quiet contemplation. He earns me beautiful views of the woods where we walk, of the animals in the woods and the many flowers that are blooming. He gives me a feeling of worth again, when I thought I had lost it with my identity after getting out of the Army. He is treasured beyond words, and that is where true value lies. His value is in the fact that I love him.”

 

Pet Finder: Common questions about your family's first pet

This month, we're blessed to have resident dog mom, Kizzy, answer questions about which pet might be best for your family.

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Dear Dog Mom,

I think adding a pet to our family would be beneficial for our young child. Both my partner and I had dogs and cats growing up. Should we stick with these because that’s what we know or perhaps consider another kind of pet…?

Signed,

Wondering

Dear Wondering,

Wonderful! Pets can teach children a great many things. However, there are a few things to keep in mind in reaching your decision:

1. How old is your child? A child’s age should play an important part of determining the appropriate pet for your household. Small children, for instance, may or may not be able to ascertain the difference between a live pet and a stuffed animal (I call it the “pulling the tail” scenario and the potential response from said animal). Slightly older children may fall in love with the idea of a pet but may not remember that a pet needs daily care. In that case, are you, the adult, willing to assume the responsibility?

2. Would you be willing to explore potential pets which don’t demand as much care as others?

3. If your answer to #2 is yes, are you willing to do research on which type of pet would be suited to your household?

Your answers should factor into your decision. The rule of thumb: The younger the child, the more responsibility the adult(s) will have to assume in the care of the pet. Are you and/or your partner willing to take on that responsibility? If not, perhaps this is not the right time to consider adopting a pet.



Dear Dog Mom,

What do you think about “pocket pets” for young children? I’ve read that pet rats or guinea pigs or hamsters are perfect pets because they don’t need much care and they don’t wander around like a cat or dog. My child would love a hedgehog and I think it’d be a good idea because we live in an apartment.

Signed,

Potential Pocket Pet Parent



Dear Potential Pocket Pet Parent,

It depends on the pocket pet. Some, like hamsters, are relatively easy to care for except for their nocturnal escapades on the proverbial “hamster wheel” (it’s their primary form of exercise). Guinea pigs are easy to care for, quiet, and like to be held. Fancy rats are bred specifically as pets. They’re inquisitive, intelligent, and can be taught tricks as well as to “ride along” with a human. Chinchillas and hedgehogs may have the “Ooh, COOL!” factor, but they both have very specific care requirements. Ditto lizards, geckos, and snakes – with the latter, does your child realize that snakes eat live mice?

The thing about pocket pets, though, is their size. Can you entrust your child to be able to hold a pocket pet without dropping it or letting it wriggle free from his or her hands? What if the pocket pet escapes from its cage? Many of them can hide in the smallest of crevices in and around your home.

What about humble goldfish? They are the easier to maintain than tropical fish. True, there will be an outlay of money for an aquarium (a simple 5-gallon one would be ideal for your first foray), filter, light, “interior decorating”, cleaning equipment, and food. A quiet corner away from direct sunlight would be the ideal location for the aquarium. An added bonus: Watching them is very soothing for the psyche.



Dear Dog Mom,

We went to our local shelter the other day and our child fell in love with a particular dog. The personnel could only tell us the barest of detail of the dog’s history. We’re definitely interested but we’re not 100% sure. Any advice?

Signed,

On The Fence



Dear On The Fence,

All of our dogs have been rescues, and other than general neuroses arising from their being in a shelter, we have been very blessed. That said, arriving at a decision, I think, is half gut feeling, half of what the shelter personnel knows about the dog. If you have a child, for instance, the shelter’s behaviorist (most shelters have one or have access to one – if they don’t, consider that a red flag) should be able to tell you if the dog is child-friendly. Is the dog aggressive/dominant? How does it get along with other dogs, possibly cats? Was the dog a stray or was it surrendered, and if so, what were the circumstances? Spend some time with the dog – most shelters have a place away from the general mayhem where you can do just that, perhaps take the dog for a short walk, play with it, introduce it to your child. You should be able to glean a lot about the dog’s demeanor.

Some personnel, eager to have a dog adopted, may gloss over these questions and may balk at your meeting/greeting/playing, but be persistent! There’s nothing worse than having to surrender a dog which you’ve just rescued. It’s not fair to your family and certainly not fair to the dog.



Do you have any questions, insights, or just want to talk about pets? The Dog Lady would be very happy to chat with you. Tune in next month for another edition.

** Note: The Dog Mom is not a veterinarian nor an animal behaviorist. She does, however, have considerable personal experience with the human/animal connection, and hopes that her observations may help those who are contemplating adding nonhuman members to their family or who may have a question regarding these particular members of their family.

 

Guest Post - Dangerous Bugs for Dogs

Sometimes we're so busy looking out for our kids, we forget about our pets! I'm lucky enough to have a guest post on some outside dangers to dogs...bugs.

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Have you ever watched your dog chase fireflies after dark? They run and hop around, just trying to catch something. Then, perhaps it occurred to you, what if those bugs were dangerous? Are they bad for your dog if eaten?

Insects have been around since the beginning of time, outliving even the dinosaurs. In all that time, they
have developed measures that allow them to defend themselves against predators. Unfortunately, this
often means they can be toxic or downright dangerous to our dogs.

Yellow jackets, wasps, and bees, oh my!

The most familiar threat is the sting. Many insects like bees and even ants carry venom as a defense
against anything that violates their territory. Be sure you keep your dog away from any nests and have
insect nests such as bees relocated if possible.

Creepy crawly spiders

Another dangerous insect is the arachnid. Spiders and scorpions often carry some of the most deadly
venom in the world. Keep areas like under the porch and storage areas cleaned to reduce the chances
your dog would wander into a hazardous place.

Caterpillars and cocoons

Here is something that many people would not consider- the danger of a bug that children used to play
with at the park. They inch along and eat leaves. But, did you know that caterpillars and similar pupa can be hosts for the toxic chemical Omphalea, which can be secreted by various caterpillar species. Don’t let your dog eat or play with these creatures.

Like a moth to a dog’s mouth?

Then there is the moth and butterfly. These dancing, fluttery creatures float around lights or flowers.
But, much like their previous state, their wings can contain harmful toxins. Various species of moth
actually host trace amounts of hydrogen cyanide on their wings. In large quantities, these insects can
cause upset stomach and vomiting.

The firefly

This childhood favorite is actually a very toxic creature. The enzyme luciferase is secreted in order to
create the light we love to see. But, that very enzyme is very toxic to your dog. These “lightning bugs”
are very intriguing and are bound to catch the attention of any pet around. Be cautious about your dog
ingesting any number of these insects. If there is toxicity, it will commonly show signs within the first
thirty minutes.

Pesticides in bugs?

In general, bugs are seen as a pest. We spray with pesticides to keep them from invading our living
spaces. Unfortunately, this does affect our pets as well. When you spray an insect, they carry those
chemicals with them. If your dog manages to munch them up faster than you can toss them out the
door, you could be poisoning your pet. Be cautious when selecting pesticides and it’s preferable to
utilize traps instead so that the poison is contained.

Bugs can be intriguing and often beautiful, but that doesn’t mean they’re a healthy part of a dog’s diet.
Sure, we dog owners may know better than to eat a bug, but our dogs may find it an irresistible, but
dangerous, treat. Keep your dog safe and beware of what they put in their mouth.

Author Bio:

Brandon Kennington is the inventor and owner of the Porch Potty – the world’s first automatic grass doglitter box. As dog owner and a busy business owner, Brandon invented the Porch Potty when he didn’twant his dog to have to wait all day to go. Porch Potty admires dog owners and also provides great tips for dog lovers on the Porch Potty Blog.





 

Guest Post - Finding the Perfect Pet

Today I am lucky enough to have a guest post about pets and the family from Petsmart. Something that my family doesn't currently have to deal with. Complete with this crazy picture!

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Getting a pet can be an excellent choice for various purposes or situations ranging from getting a companion, giving someone a gift, or teaching your child about being responsible. However, many pet owners find themselves disappointed about the choices that they have made. Make no mistake, though, no pet is disppointing. Every kind of pet has its or special traits. It is the situation that can make handling a pet difficult for some and thus, you need to consider some important things before getting a pet.

The purpose

Many people would instantly go for a dog or a cat when choosing a pet. However, I suggest broadening your options more. If you are looking for a house companion, a cat or a dog may be good, but if you want to teach a 5 year old how to keep a pet, you'd be better off opting for ones that are easier to handle like hamsters, hermit crabs, birds, or fish. You should also keep in mind that some dog and cat breeds are better suited for sedentary lifestyle and some for active lifestyle, so proper research is a must.

The Space

Some people get themselves Saint Bernards or Jack Russell Terriers or Jag-cats just because they think they are cute. However, oversized or hyperactive pets require a huge house or a backyard. Pets that are bored or stressed due to limited space tend to have shorter life spans or destructive habits.

The Budget

In terms of budget, having a pet can be almost as costly as having a kid. No pet is maintenance-free and all require money to be fed, and groomed. Before considering what type of pet you should have or if you should have one in the first place, consider your budget. If you already have a pet, and you realized the financial consideration a little late, then you may want to look for discounted pet stuff prices by using discounts like this petsmart promo code.



 

The Pet Child Comparison

Why do people compare having kids to having pets? I'm not talking about the people that call their pets their fur babies. Although I don't understand that either, I'm not about to tell someone about their own level of affection. I figure, they're either people who haven't had kids who feel their love would be the same, or they're people who have had kids and, in their opinion, their feelings are the same, or, rather, certain aspects of their feelings are the same. Not my business.

What I really take issue with is the saying "having a dog / cat is like having a permanent three year old." Now we're not talking about affection, love or emotional attachment. Now we're talking about pure experience. I've heard this saying from many people. Strangers on the street, childless friends, and even my own mother, who must have forgotten what having a three year old is really like.

Now there are some similarities. Pets can get into things and make a mess. Pets can pee on the carpet. You have to keep an eye on pets so they don't run into danger. We can't fully understand them and they can't fully understand us, so a fractured language is used. But day to day, I feel the responsibility much greater for a kid.

How often does your pet cry? They do cry, in their way, especially puppies, especially when night training, if you aren't allowing them to sleep in your bed. But how long does that painful period last? A few weeks at the very most. And when your pet is unhappy about other things, you can usually get them what they want or distract them easily. If your pet is thirsty or hungry or wants to play, you can fetch them a drink, some food, or play with them for a few sparing minutes and they move on. Rare is the occasion where a furry friend will completely meltdown because the food you gave them is an unsatisfactory color or because you won't let them play with the butter.

Which brings up my next point. Pets, after a brief training period, listen to you. They listen to the word no. Even if they don't, it's easy for you to take away whatever they are doing, or put them in another area without garnering resentment or temper tantrums. Pets forget. They move on. When you tell them they can't run away, they might still try, but at least they don't make the time they're not pursuing that desire miserable for you.

While you can talk to a pet and they can understand basic commands and they have a certain empathy, sometimes knowing when you are having a rough day, you can't really talk to a pet. Nor do you have to. There is a running ridiculous dialogue in this house every minute of the day. "Yes, you're a butterfly. Quick give daddy butterfly kisses. No the sprinklers are not for butterflies. No, it doesn't matter if you're a lion now. Sprinklers aren't for lions either. Why don't you play with your blocks? No, don't throw your blocks. Pick up your blocks. If you want to bring your blocks outside, we have to wear shoes. No, my shoes are too big. You need your own shoes." And that's giving them a lot of credit, assuming they stick to the same train of thought for more than 30 seconds.

From my experience a conversation with a pet goes like this: "Hi, you! You're a good boy! I love you! Aww, pet pet pet. Okay, go lay down."  Shorter and sweeter, no? Pets listen to you and don't require a reason for every decision you hand down to them.

While having a pet ties you down more than not having a pet would, you can leave a pet for hours on end and not have to worry about him. You can say goodbye to him in the morning, go to work, come home eight or ten hours later, and everything is fine.  As a parent, you can't even run downstairs to throw a load of laundry in the wash without worrying about what your kids are up to. Any absence longer or farther than that and you need childcare.

Most importantly, you have to worry about your kids' future in a way that's not really applicable to pets. As parents, we have the responsibility not only to get through everyday with everyone alive, but we have to shape those days to make different tomorrows. We have to teach children how to become responsible adults. So that the very thing that makes the statement "having a pet is like having a perpetual three year old" correct (the fact that you never have to worry about them growing up to be productive members of society, so that they're stuck in a blissful toddlerhood, is the very thing that proves it false. The very fact that three year olds are not perpetually three years old changes the dynamic of having one because you have to take into consideration not only the irrational cute little beings they are now, but also the rational beautiful big things they will become.

So, yes, there are a few similarities, but only on the surface. In my experience, having a child is simply not comparable to having a pet. But your mileage may vary.


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Words Mean Things

Another week means another glorious trip to the grocery store for this family.  I stacked my kids into the green racing cart (once they discovered it, the regular old blue one wouldn't do.  The babies need the freedom of being behind the wheel, apparently.), and took off for the deli to order some sandwich meat.

Innocent enough.

And again, this trip is one I felt went rather well.  And again, there were some people who wouldn't have agreed with me.

You see, my children were in a fabulous mood.  They were laughing, and playing, and singing, too.  When my babies sing, they usually crescendo into a last toneless note shouted for a good 10 or 20 seconds.  Nearing the end of their display of musical prowess, I happened to look about only to see two deli workers staring disgustedly at me and the kids.  Oh.

"Just wait 10 years," I said to the boy.  "You'll probably get your fill of this."

He laughed and said, "I surely hope not."

"Well," I joked, "I do tell everyone, if they don't have kids yet, don't have them."  (Because if you can't joke about the existence of your kids to strangers while they're right there in front of you, what kind of a parent are you?)

The woman standing next to him took this opportunity to wipe the look of horror off of her face and pipe up, conversationally.

"This is why I have dogs," she said.

Nothing wrong with that statement.  That's something I often hear when we're out and about.  She should have quit while she was ahead.  But, instead, she continued.

"I can cage a dog whenever I want."

I smiled wanly and nodded.  I, myself, am not a big fan of caging, but I realize people do it and for good reason.

"And I can give it an electric shock when it barks too much."

Thank goodness my roast beef was ready because I had no idea how I would respond to that one, nor did I want to hear any other things she did to her dogs.  Even the man cutting my meat was looking at her in surprise at this point.

Now, I know people use electric fences and such to keep their dogs from running out into the street, and maybe she was exagerrating for effect, but there are just some things you don't say.  Especially to strangers.  Things like, "I give my dogs electric shocks when they do things that displease me, and I keep them in cages for the hahas."

Did the woman mean that?  I suspect not.  She most likely meant that she can cage them when she leaves the house and that she keeps them on an electric fence so they don't run away.  But that's not what she said.

And it got me thinking about my own joke to the young man.  By telling him not to have kids in a joking manner, I didn't explicitly say I didn't like them.  I didn't mean that I didn't like them.  But at 2.5 they are beginning to understand so much.  How long until they understand the meaning of my joke as I understood the meaning of the other woman's joke?

So, I guess I will work on taking my own advice.  Words mean things.  Even as adults we sometimes forget the weight our words carry, and we think we can hide behind joking.  But it is not the listener's responsibility to understand or excuse us.  It is our responsibility not to say things we don't want misconstrued.


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