Sunday, March 10, 2013
Moment of the Week - 133: Princess Show
I can only say that this is worth your time. Seriously. I laughed three times. Welcome to my life.
Saturday, March 9, 2013
Preschool Pointers - 29: Explain "Punishments"
Problem:
The popular bend in parenting these days is not to punish, something which I agree with in principle, but find very hard to carry out in my own life. Because sometimes my kids are nasty or naughty in some way. And by sometimes, I mean at least three times a day.
And you're saying, well, of course people punish. What do you call time out and counting down and natural consequences and all that noise. It's called discipline, apparently (at least according to my copy editor in the parenting section of Global Post). But to me, it's like tomato / tomato. Like potty training / potty learning. (No offense, potty learners.)
So, how do you punish your kid?
Solution:
While I find the terminology somewhat cagey, what I can definitely agree with is the pushes behind the techniques used today, those being to single out the actions that are wrong and base discipline on actions, not on the child.
I, personally, take it another step, because I just like to talk a lot, I think.
But I'll thoroughly explain my reasoning behind each punishment. If you're in time out, it's because of this action, which probably stems from the fact that you're tired / hungry / in a bad mood, whatever.
I add on that extra section because I want my kids to start understanding their own emotions (something we have a problem with in this house. The girls get very emotional, and let the emotions carry them so that they do not attack a problem rationally, but instead flop on the floor like dying fish.)
So, here it looks like, "You are doing this now, because I said so (authority), because you did such-and-such (action-based), probably because your tired/cranky/hungry (emotional background state).
In this way, hopefully they'll soon associate how they're feeling to how they will act and how those actions will result in my reactions. Hopefully.
They will also (again, I hope), come to understand that these things are not punishments, but resets. After the time period, we can all try again.
I'll let you know if this ever works in the long-run.
The popular bend in parenting these days is not to punish, something which I agree with in principle, but find very hard to carry out in my own life. Because sometimes my kids are nasty or naughty in some way. And by sometimes, I mean at least three times a day.
And you're saying, well, of course people punish. What do you call time out and counting down and natural consequences and all that noise. It's called discipline, apparently (at least according to my copy editor in the parenting section of Global Post). But to me, it's like tomato / tomato. Like potty training / potty learning. (No offense, potty learners.)
So, how do you punish your kid?
Solution:
While I find the terminology somewhat cagey, what I can definitely agree with is the pushes behind the techniques used today, those being to single out the actions that are wrong and base discipline on actions, not on the child.
I, personally, take it another step, because I just like to talk a lot, I think.
But I'll thoroughly explain my reasoning behind each punishment. If you're in time out, it's because of this action, which probably stems from the fact that you're tired / hungry / in a bad mood, whatever.
I add on that extra section because I want my kids to start understanding their own emotions (something we have a problem with in this house. The girls get very emotional, and let the emotions carry them so that they do not attack a problem rationally, but instead flop on the floor like dying fish.)
So, here it looks like, "You are doing this now, because I said so (authority), because you did such-and-such (action-based), probably because your tired/cranky/hungry (emotional background state).
In this way, hopefully they'll soon associate how they're feeling to how they will act and how those actions will result in my reactions. Hopefully.
They will also (again, I hope), come to understand that these things are not punishments, but resets. After the time period, we can all try again.
I'll let you know if this ever works in the long-run.
Friday, March 8, 2013
Smart911
Remember when I almost choked to death in front of my kids? Yeah, fun times. Well, since then, I think a lot more about what we would do in an emergency and how I can make sure the girls are protected.
Yes, I installed a blaringly red and huge 9-1-1 button on my phone and taught the girls how to use it. But in a high stress situation, will they be able to get out a coherent message at four years old? Maybe not.
And I know 9-1-1 has tracking now, so that hopefully they'd find the right place. But what if it wasn't an emergency where the girls had any control?
What if someone broke in and I could call the number but not talk? What if there was a fire and everything was too hectic for descriptions and whatnot? Any number of things could happen in which emergency responders having my family's information at their fingertips could be very helpful.
So I signed up for Smart911.
Here's the blurb from their website:
Smart911 is a free service that allows citizens across the U.S. to create a Safety Profile for their household that includes any information they want 9-1-1 to have in the event of an emergency. Then, when anyone in that household dials 9-1-1 from a phone associated with their Safety Profile, their profile is immediately displayed to the 9-1-1 call taker providing additional information that can be used to facilitate the proper response to the proper location. At a time when seconds count, being about to provide 9-1-1 with all details that could impact response the second an emergency call is placed could be the difference between life and death.
Now, I admit, I felt a little squidgy posting that personal information up. But the site is secure, and honestly, all the internet cookies and sales trackers know everything about me anyway. It's not like I'm giving anyone anything new. I just put it all in one place. Privacy on the internet isn't really a thing that exists unless you work really, really hard at it. Like harder than you think you're working (I learned this in my mass comm classes).
Anyway, you might want to check into it for your family. Anything to help, right?
Smart911 info here.
Yes, I installed a blaringly red and huge 9-1-1 button on my phone and taught the girls how to use it. But in a high stress situation, will they be able to get out a coherent message at four years old? Maybe not.
And I know 9-1-1 has tracking now, so that hopefully they'd find the right place. But what if it wasn't an emergency where the girls had any control?
What if someone broke in and I could call the number but not talk? What if there was a fire and everything was too hectic for descriptions and whatnot? Any number of things could happen in which emergency responders having my family's information at their fingertips could be very helpful.
So I signed up for Smart911.
Here's the blurb from their website:
Smart911 is a free service that allows citizens across the U.S. to create a Safety Profile for their household that includes any information they want 9-1-1 to have in the event of an emergency. Then, when anyone in that household dials 9-1-1 from a phone associated with their Safety Profile, their profile is immediately displayed to the 9-1-1 call taker providing additional information that can be used to facilitate the proper response to the proper location. At a time when seconds count, being about to provide 9-1-1 with all details that could impact response the second an emergency call is placed could be the difference between life and death.
Now, I admit, I felt a little squidgy posting that personal information up. But the site is secure, and honestly, all the internet cookies and sales trackers know everything about me anyway. It's not like I'm giving anyone anything new. I just put it all in one place. Privacy on the internet isn't really a thing that exists unless you work really, really hard at it. Like harder than you think you're working (I learned this in my mass comm classes).
Anyway, you might want to check into it for your family. Anything to help, right?
Smart911 info here.
Thursday, March 7, 2013
She Wants a Little Sister...Hah!
So, for the past few days, I have been having a raging argument about whether or not I'll have another baby. Not with my husband, but with one of my kids. She won't give it up, starting in the morning with, "can I tell you a secret? I really want a little sister," going through to after school when she involves other people, "Mrs. R, shouldn't I have a little sister?" and continuing all the way into nightfall when the tiredness overcomes her and she flops on the ground kicking and yelling, "I want a little sister! I want a little sister!"
Oh, the injustice. The unfairness of it all. I mean, clearly, from her actions above, she's ready to take on the role of mature older sister. She's not still a baby herself or anything.
I explain to her how much work it will be.
"I'll feed her!" she says. Then thinks. "But you have to change the diapers," she concedes.
I tell her it takes nine months, and that's after I get pregnant so it could take years.
This is devastating.
Can't I understand that she wants a baby sister, now? How about tomorrow? What if she's really, really good and doesn't cry for the rest of the day? Then can she have a baby sister tomorrow?
I am so cruel.
I tell her I don't want any more babies.
Unacceptable. Moms should have all the babies all the time. They shouldn't have a choice. She'd make a right little Republican, wouldn't she? (Oh, cheap zing, there. Let's move along.)
Finally, she goes to my husband for help.
First of all: Hahaha. Haha. Hahahahahahaha. HAHA. Yeah, right, kid. You'd have better luck getting a puppy from him. The chances of a puppy are at least .0000001.
He tells her no.
She tantrums because she's so ready and mature and can't we just see that? It's very convincing.
Finally, after she calms down, waits a while, and asks again, my husband smiles at me.
"Yes," he says.
And it stops.
And I'm thinking, why didn't I think of that?
But, fear not, it was only a slight reprieve. The next day, she was at it again, looking for her little sister. We went through all the same arguments.
Finally, finally, I decided to stop assuming I knew why she wanted another baby (cuddly, cute, something to help grow, etc.) and asked her.
"N has a big sister," she said.
"Well, yes, but N isn't a big sister," I replied. "There are all kinds of sisters."
"Yeah!" she said. "N isn't a big sister and she has to sit in the back seat like me. But her big sister gets to sit in the front seat. I want to sit in the front seat, mama. So, mama? Can I have a little sister?"
Because in Natalina's world, if big sisters sit in the front seat, then she needs to be a big sister, stat.
Clearly that is the easiest route to the front seat of the car.
Preschooler logic at its best.
Two is enough.
Oh, the injustice. The unfairness of it all. I mean, clearly, from her actions above, she's ready to take on the role of mature older sister. She's not still a baby herself or anything.
I explain to her how much work it will be.
"I'll feed her!" she says. Then thinks. "But you have to change the diapers," she concedes.
I tell her it takes nine months, and that's after I get pregnant so it could take years.
This is devastating.
Can't I understand that she wants a baby sister, now? How about tomorrow? What if she's really, really good and doesn't cry for the rest of the day? Then can she have a baby sister tomorrow?
I am so cruel.
I tell her I don't want any more babies.
Unacceptable. Moms should have all the babies all the time. They shouldn't have a choice. She'd make a right little Republican, wouldn't she? (Oh, cheap zing, there. Let's move along.)
Finally, she goes to my husband for help.
First of all: Hahaha. Haha. Hahahahahahaha. HAHA. Yeah, right, kid. You'd have better luck getting a puppy from him. The chances of a puppy are at least .0000001.
He tells her no.
She tantrums because she's so ready and mature and can't we just see that? It's very convincing.
Finally, after she calms down, waits a while, and asks again, my husband smiles at me.
"Yes," he says.
And it stops.
And I'm thinking, why didn't I think of that?
But, fear not, it was only a slight reprieve. The next day, she was at it again, looking for her little sister. We went through all the same arguments.
Finally, finally, I decided to stop assuming I knew why she wanted another baby (cuddly, cute, something to help grow, etc.) and asked her.
"N has a big sister," she said.
"Well, yes, but N isn't a big sister," I replied. "There are all kinds of sisters."
"Yeah!" she said. "N isn't a big sister and she has to sit in the back seat like me. But her big sister gets to sit in the front seat. I want to sit in the front seat, mama. So, mama? Can I have a little sister?"
Because in Natalina's world, if big sisters sit in the front seat, then she needs to be a big sister, stat.
Clearly that is the easiest route to the front seat of the car.
Preschooler logic at its best.
Two is enough.
Wednesday, March 6, 2013
Guest Post - Surviving a Divorce
Today I am lucky enough to have a guest blogger talking about a very sensitive subject: divorce.
...
In the US, there is one divorce every 13 seconds. That’s 6,646 divorces per day, 46,523 divorces per week, and 2,419,196 every single year. Sadly to say, divorce is a very common act in this day in age. With that being said, if you’re currently in the process of a divorce, you’re not immune to the challenges of it, no matter how much you try and think differently. Experiencing all of the emotions that come from the breakdown of a marriage is a very large weight on your shoulders, even in the best situations. But from here on out, you have to think that you are on the journey to a new beginning and a new life. The divorce process can be quite a lengthy one, especially if children are involved. Never, ever wait for everything to be finalized before you start living your life to the best of your ability. Every single day is precious and no matter how down you feel, you have to remember that. Here are a few tips of coping and moving forward.
1. Your social life: If you aren’t one of the 5 billion people currently on a social media network, now may be a good time to give it a go. It’s a great way to reconnect with old friends and perhaps making new ones. Word of advice though, stray away from distasteful photos, posts, or comments as if found, they can be used in court. Also don’t advice “friending” your ex.
2. Your professional life: Maybe you’ve taken a break from the workforce or you’ve been working at home but now might a good time to think about a career change for the future. This may not necessarily be the right time for a huge career jump but definitely to start networking. Reach out to old and current colleagues, go through your contact list and get back into the loop. In today’s digital age, everyone is interested in networking. If you are currently not employed, contact your college or graduate school and see if there are any upcoming alumni events. Get back into the loop.
3. Divorce talk: Choose one friend, or better yet a therapist, to talk about your divorce. While it may not seem like it at the time, people may listen for a few weeks but they do have their own personal problems and lives and may not want to consistently listen to yours constantly. When anyone asks how you are, always answer in a positive note. You may find it a little hard to say, “Great!” so instead say, “I’m in the right direction.” and then move forward in the conversation. If you consistently have to talk about your divorce, you may feel drained and this may lead you away from your new goals.
4. Breathe: When you wake up, take a deep breath. Make time for a quiet time in your day to breathe and collect yourself.
5. Exercise: Make sure you keep yourself in shape and healthy. Take yoga, swim, walk the stairs, dance, anything. Just keep moving and it’ll help reduce your stress.
6. Sleep: This may seem like a challenge, especially in the beginning, but you cannot survive without sleep.
7: Create: Start your new life. Make goals. Starting over can provide you with so many new opportunities. Visualize how you want your new future and go after it.
8: Bad mouthing: Never speak ill of your ex, no matter how angry you are. Your time will be much better spent speaking about the positivity in your life. Be very careful to never speak badly about your ex in front of your children. They are a very large part of your spouse's life and it may upset them to hear that. Keep any divorce conversations away; you must protect them from any negativity.
9. Forgiveness: We all make mistakes, it is human nature. Whether you chose the wrong spouse or perhaps didn't invest as much as you had wanted in your marriage. Learn from it and move on.
10: Focus on the good: Every breath you take is a blessing. As horrible as you feel, there are probably millions who would trade places with you. Live, laugh, love.
There IS life after divorce, it is up to you to move forward and be the best you can be. Opportunities are there, just go for them.
About the author: Shannon is a mother to a 2 year old, divorced, co-parenting, and the marketing coordinator for FlexiblePVC.net, a vinyl tubing supplier. To contact her, email her at
flexiblepvc@gmail.com today.
...
In the US, there is one divorce every 13 seconds. That’s 6,646 divorces per day, 46,523 divorces per week, and 2,419,196 every single year. Sadly to say, divorce is a very common act in this day in age. With that being said, if you’re currently in the process of a divorce, you’re not immune to the challenges of it, no matter how much you try and think differently. Experiencing all of the emotions that come from the breakdown of a marriage is a very large weight on your shoulders, even in the best situations. But from here on out, you have to think that you are on the journey to a new beginning and a new life. The divorce process can be quite a lengthy one, especially if children are involved. Never, ever wait for everything to be finalized before you start living your life to the best of your ability. Every single day is precious and no matter how down you feel, you have to remember that. Here are a few tips of coping and moving forward.
1. Your social life: If you aren’t one of the 5 billion people currently on a social media network, now may be a good time to give it a go. It’s a great way to reconnect with old friends and perhaps making new ones. Word of advice though, stray away from distasteful photos, posts, or comments as if found, they can be used in court. Also don’t advice “friending” your ex.
2. Your professional life: Maybe you’ve taken a break from the workforce or you’ve been working at home but now might a good time to think about a career change for the future. This may not necessarily be the right time for a huge career jump but definitely to start networking. Reach out to old and current colleagues, go through your contact list and get back into the loop. In today’s digital age, everyone is interested in networking. If you are currently not employed, contact your college or graduate school and see if there are any upcoming alumni events. Get back into the loop.
3. Divorce talk: Choose one friend, or better yet a therapist, to talk about your divorce. While it may not seem like it at the time, people may listen for a few weeks but they do have their own personal problems and lives and may not want to consistently listen to yours constantly. When anyone asks how you are, always answer in a positive note. You may find it a little hard to say, “Great!” so instead say, “I’m in the right direction.” and then move forward in the conversation. If you consistently have to talk about your divorce, you may feel drained and this may lead you away from your new goals.
4. Breathe: When you wake up, take a deep breath. Make time for a quiet time in your day to breathe and collect yourself.
5. Exercise: Make sure you keep yourself in shape and healthy. Take yoga, swim, walk the stairs, dance, anything. Just keep moving and it’ll help reduce your stress.
6. Sleep: This may seem like a challenge, especially in the beginning, but you cannot survive without sleep.
7: Create: Start your new life. Make goals. Starting over can provide you with so many new opportunities. Visualize how you want your new future and go after it.
8: Bad mouthing: Never speak ill of your ex, no matter how angry you are. Your time will be much better spent speaking about the positivity in your life. Be very careful to never speak badly about your ex in front of your children. They are a very large part of your spouse's life and it may upset them to hear that. Keep any divorce conversations away; you must protect them from any negativity.
9. Forgiveness: We all make mistakes, it is human nature. Whether you chose the wrong spouse or perhaps didn't invest as much as you had wanted in your marriage. Learn from it and move on.
10: Focus on the good: Every breath you take is a blessing. As horrible as you feel, there are probably millions who would trade places with you. Live, laugh, love.
There IS life after divorce, it is up to you to move forward and be the best you can be. Opportunities are there, just go for them.
About the author: Shannon is a mother to a 2 year old, divorced, co-parenting, and the marketing coordinator for FlexiblePVC.net, a vinyl tubing supplier. To contact her, email her at
flexiblepvc@gmail.com today.
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