Why the gumball scenario wasn't really equal opportunity

A recent essay I wrote has garnered me a lot of hate. About three thousand people have called me a lousy parent. That's okay. I'm working on it and have been for long before that essay was published, and things are actually going really well now.

When I wrote about how my liberal views ruined my parenting, I wasn't saying all liberals...or really any liberals other than me...had these issues. I was just saying I did, and some of the reason why is that I tried to instill ideology at an age too developmentally immature to handle it.

My point is that things that apply to the real world do not and cannot apply to parenting. Like the gumballs, which I assert actually works really well as an analogy for what happens to people in the assistance system.

So, let's talk about that. Everyone is so upset that I would redistribute the gumballs. In fact, Fox News called me to go on their show this weekend. That's how serious gumballs are.

They eventually decided not to go with me for a segment. I think my answer to this question is why:



FOX: "What would you make of the gumball analogy and the reaction to it?"

ME: "I think people took the wrong message from that analogy. They were talking about it as if my daughter had lost her gumballs, and it was entirely her fault. But it wasn't. Her fine motor skills aren't good enough for her to be able to open that package without spilling some. So is it her fault or my fault?

In this way, you can see the difference as applies to the ideological systems at play. When a person using assistance, let's talk about the 'abusers' the 'generational users', is there for long stretches of time and cannot or will not get out, we blame their efficacy and agency. But perhaps they don't have the skills, or education, or knowledge of how the successful model works. Instead of blaming the people who can't get out of the system for 'spilling their gumballs,' perhaps we ought to invest more money in 'training their fine motor skills' by implementing programs that teach them how to apply for colleges and grant money, programs that teach them how to use the language, how to address potential employees, and while we do that, yes, they still need to eat.

Was splitting the gumballs up equally the right thing to do as a parent? Maybe not. Is it how many taxpayers feel about their hard-earned wages? Probably. Does that mean the girl who asked me to open her gumballs had equal opportunity to the girl who tried to do it by herself and spilled them? Not really. One had the knowledge and maturity to know to ask for help from the get-go, much like a privileged person networking for a job. One tried to do it all on her own. Much like a person trying with no other support to get off the system. Do these things work in parenting moments? No. Do they work in ideology? I say they kind of do."


So, yes, I stand by it, though I am sorry my writing wasn't clear enough to bring the point through the first time.

Looks like that's another thing I have to work on. Thankfully with writing, you get millions of shots to make it just perfect. With parenting, not so much.

However, I seem to be doing a lot better on both fronts, so we'll just see how it goes from here, shall we?

Empathy is key. Sympathy is key. Understanding fully what privilege and equal opportunity mean is key.