Kindergarten Kids - Try Something New

Problem:

So this is the new year, and you don't feel any different. So how do you actually reinvigorate your life without burning yourself out? My suggestion is to try only one or two new things at a time, and make sure those things are for  you. You can do other new things for your kids and your family, but have a few just for you. And introduce them slowly, so that you don't feel guilty or selfish (which you shouldn't anyway, but I know you) for doing them.


Solution:

My personal solution was yoga, which to anyone who knows me is hilarious. I'm like a frenetic chipmunk in all things. I can't get through even 1/3 of a thought before my brain moves on to something else. I wrote up an account of my first yoga class yesterday. The point not being to scare you off new things (which it might, I can't lie), but to show that you can suck at something and still have fun, and still go back. Maybe.

I showed up with my friend, Leanna, and neither of us had ever been before. We were sitting on our mats before class talking about how she accidentally suffocated a mouse. Which we soon learned was kind of not the conversation people showing up at a yoga class expect.

Then my phone rang. Great. And the class hadn't started yet, so I just ignored it, thinking no big deal. Wrong.

The instructor walked in and said, "There is a phone that needs to be claimed." And I'm like, what, because it rang? But I didn't say anything. I felt like hiding, actually.

Someone ratted me out, though. "I think it's in the burgundy purse."

And I'm like, welp, this is getting off on the right foot then.

So, defensively, I said, "Are we not allowed phones for ninety minutes here? Because I have kids with needs, and I'm not turning my phone off for that long. Is this the wrong class for me?"

They helpfully and with no attitude at all (not) suggested I put it on vibrate. That was fine with me.

It was enough so that the instructor came over to me before the start and crouched down to my eye level (I know that trick!) and made a big deal about not starting on the wrong foot. 

This, of course, wasn't uncomfortable or awkward at all.

Then we had to start breathing which was a right mess. I don't like breathing in deeply. It takes too long. But I tried. Throughout the class, though, she was all inhale when you blah and exhale when you blah, and I was like, Crap! I forgot I was supposed to be doing extra special happy thoughts fairy breathing! And quickly overcompensated.

I hit the lady on the mat next to me in the face with my arm once, and knocked over my water bottle loudly another time.

At one point, the instructor asked everyone to relax completely, and someone farted. And I laughed (quietly, thank goodness.) I was the only one. Come on, isn't anyone else 12?

There was a short spurt I enjoyed where we did some poses that were really difficult for me. But the first half hour was all sitting and breathing. She said, "make your intention for the day. It can be for you, someone close to you, or the greater good."

I was all, my intention for today is to KICK ITS ASS.

Not what they're looking for there, I expect.

Then at the end we wasted (it felt like to me. I know that centering yourself and being one with whatever the fuck we're supposed to be one with is important, but I'm just not there yet) Anyway, we wasted the end thirty minutes lying there, doing nothing.

Jesus, I just about died.

She's all, invite the softness in. I'm all, dude, the softness was laid off about a decade ago.

I did learn that I clench my jaw like a mofo though. Every time she said relax your jaw, I was like, oh yeah. CLUNK.

Anyway, the whole time we were laying there doing nothing, I was running through all the things I could/should be doing instead, and when I wasn't doing that, I was berating myself for being privileged enough to be able to lay around and do nothing but think about myself for 30 minutes.

So that when she said, accept your inner goodness, my inner whatever just about died laughing and was like, but can we go now, though?

I had to go up to her after class, and say to her, look, I'm obviously really high strung and frenetic. I'm going to keep coming, I think, so please don't think I have attitude or look down on you or yoga or anything. It will just be me laughing at myself. I promise. I mean no disrespect.

She said, ... ... ...I think this class will be really good for you.

And I was like, sure, if I can get over analyzing the ceiling tiles for imperfections when I'm supposed to be letting the good air in or whatever, or softening my thighs, whatever that is.

Great start? Maybe not so much. But it was new, it was for me, (something I obviously need to work on), it was kind of fun, and I'll try it again. And that makes the new year new.






 

Beginner Body Combat for Moms and Other Not-Necessarily-Fitness-Type People

Look, it's no secret that I love Body Combat. I'm even considering becoming an instructor, once I have the time. I keep trying to get people to go, but the workouts are an hour long, the gym cost is expensive, and most of my friends have kids. It's just hard. Also, when you walk into a class of 50 people who have been doing it for years, it's intimidating. Most people don't come back.

And that makes me sad.

I don't have any real miracle story, except that I started it two years ago, when my kids were three and we were all about to lose our minds. It's been a mental sanity savior for me. I didn't do it to get results. I did it because it was so fun, and I clearly don't care about looking like a fool.

So, the first few weeks when I looked like a dead, and yet somehow constipated, 85-year-old penguin out of water, it didn't phase me. I get how people could not want to look like that, though. Particularly if they're already under immense societal pressure to be something they aren't.

So, to combat (HAHA) the time, expense and fear factors, I made a preliminary (and really shitty) video of ONE track that we do (a typical workout is eight different tracks, then push ups and abs).

The class goes fast with not a lot of instruction, so I picked a track with ONLY three moves (all kicks) that just repeat forever. I might do one for punches, but I probably won't do too many more. As crappy as these videos are, I'm not sure Les Mills would laugh if they thought I was making it easy for them not to make their bajillions of dollars on this.

HOWEVER, I would like to point out that the point of this ridiculous and silly video (in which my kids also do it) would be to push more people into spending their hard-earned money, and well-deserved time off, on body combat. Just a thought before you all sue me.

Either way, the point is, doing this has saved me not because I had some massive fitness goal, but because it was so much fun and it stopped me from eating my children. Seriously.

I did end up losing about ten pounds, and I swear I'm more muscular, even though the pictures aren't quite as convincing as I thought they'd be.

Regardless, the main point of this post is that you should do it too! It's easy. Or at least, it could be easy. You can do it at your own pace, tailor it to your own needs, and the biggest point...you don't have to do it right. Doing any of it, even wrong as hell, is really fun, and worth it, imo.

Okay. Here is my masterpiece.








Go kick some stuff and laugh at me, you'll feel better. OH! And watching it, I just figured out what I did wrong in the second half. You're supposed to be front kicking with the other leg and back kicking with the other leg. See? I know nothing. But still, we have fun.

And if body combat isn't for you, maybe Zumba is! You can check out the best shoes for the dancing workout here.






 

Why Parents Should Go to the Gym

Do you go to the gym? I didn't used to. After a brief affair with it in college where I went every day, I quit it, to happily never look back. Until now.

I'm not particularly health conscious, and I'm not concerned with my weight, so I didn't really have a goal in mind when I signed up for a membership in January. In fact, I did it for my husband. He'd been complaining about our one-room condo association gym. When I dragged the girls there to get him a membership, I found out they had free childcare for people working out. I was sold.

But I still hated it. I don't like the machines, and I don't like repetitiveness, and the smells, and the crowding, and the looks. Just not a fan. Then a friend of mine introduced me to Body Combat.

And I've never looked back.

It's fun! There's music, and lots of people, and routines. There's rowdy camaraderie and all sorts of people mixed together. It is exactly what I need to get away from myself.

You see, I find my life very boring, and those who say, "hey, you need some time for you, to just be alone, to get out," have good intentions, but, for me, that doesn't work.

The minute I'm away from my kids I'm wondering about them, missing them, worrying over them from afar. I'm just not used to being without them. So my break always ended up being just as bad as if I'd stayed home.

For me, the gym solved that. First we used the childcare. With the girls so close and me being able to go check on them whenever I wanted, the transition was smoothed over for me. But the girls ended up being sick for three months straight. No matter what I did, they always picked up some illness or another. They needed a break.

Now I actually pay for a sitter to come for the hour I go. It's worth it. They stay well, they're getting accustomed to me leaving, and I'm no longer worrying about them.

Here's why: At Body Combat, I don't have time to think about it. I don't have time to chastise myself for being away from them or worry about them. I have to keep punching and kicking to the rhythm, and by the end of the hour, I'm exhausted, yet refreshed.

It's social because I'm with a group of similarly minded people, and yet it's not intimidating because I don't actually have to talk to them. So that this group of strangers and I have gotten to know each other without all that pesky conversation. The regulars see each other every week. We know our different personality types just based on how we react to instruction in class, whether we jump around more or stand more, whether we punch close or far. Honestly, I'd say that if I met one of these women on the street, I'd be able to have a full blown conversation with her because I would know her speaking rhythms and what type of broad personality she has. A dozen friends just waiting to be made, but no one forcing anyone to make them.

The added bonus is that, physically, it actually works. I expected no results at all. I haven't exercised in probably seven years. I can't run a mile without getting an asthma attack, and yet my endurance and strength has increased ten-fold with this class. My body looks better.

I look better and I feel better. It gets me out of my humdrum self. It forces me to just do something without thinking about me or my family for an hour. And they're not kidding about the endorphins. I just feel better afterward. I can't explain it.

If you hate the gym as much as I thought I did, maybe try something similar. Just get out for an hour. A whole hour, no cheating. Grab a coffee, or take a walk, or go on a drive. Take pictures, or go to a library and read. Anything that gets you out of the house and distracted from yourself is a good start.

We have to keep ourselves balanced because no one else can do it for us. And when we feel more whole, it's easier for us to be there for our kids in our full capacity.

The gym. It worked for me.


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