Resolutions -- 2018

In keeping with tradition, I will make 10 resolutions for myself and 5 with regard to my children and never look at them again until nearly 2019. Here goes nothing. I have a lot of big changes coming this year, so, unsure as to what this will look like.

10) Drink 4 glasses of water a day.

Same as last year, only one glass less. I have to drink more. I was really bad with this this year. Luckily, as last night was New Year's Eve, I've already drunk my 4 glasses today, lol, and I'll still need more.

9) Go to the gym and/or run consistently 3-4 times a week.

I want to keep this one too. I need to keep doing this.

8) Stop biting my nails

Keeping it.

7) Actively work on local and state campaigns in swing states for the interim election.

2018 is a big year, politically. I want to make sure I help.

6) Buy that house and decorate it and keep it up as if it is my home.

I'm not great at interior design and I'm not great at cleaning. We are trying to get our own place and I have done most of the heavy lifting there which has been really hard. I have to finish that task, get the place, fix it up, move, and then decorate it and keep it clean like it is a real home that I love and live in because that's what it will be.

5) Make $75,000 and/or get a full-time position somewhere.

This is a huge stretch. HUGE. I'd be happy with $65K again. I'd be over the moon with $70. I'd also be happy if I could grab a full-time job at a place.

4) Publish 50 pieces and teach a full course load all year.

I want to keep up with writing at least a little and not let go of my teaching either.

3) Get my passport and Portuguese citizenship (if not for me, at least for the girls).

Ugh, grown up paperwork, blah. Too hard. Must do.

2) Get through my medical stuff and come out the other side just fine.

I have a lot of crap I don't want to do this year that I have to do. It's going to take a while, some back and forths from the hospital, a long recovery and subsequent procedures and it's all very glamorous and awesome. So, I have to get through that.

1) Plan and execute this vow renewal for our 10-year anniversary.

So we kind of sort of got married in five minutes while our preemie twins were in the NICU. We had meant to do a nice shotgun wedding before their birth, but they came early. Even without that complication, I was never going to have a real wedding or wear a dress or have a party. And I want one, kind of. And we have made it 10 years, through twins and the financial and housing crash and through all the things. Of course, on top of buying a house and going down in medical flames, it is a bit much this year, but I think we can do it!



For my kids and I, I resolve the following:

5) Get them to stop fighting all the time.

Lol. Every year we try.

4) Homework and studies every day, even in summer and on weekends.

When we do this, it's great, but when we have all the time in the world (ie: vacation), we slack off because it's just easier for me not to make them do it. If I were consistent, it would be easier.

3) Save $10,000 each for them.

Since I totally took the money I've saved for them thus far and put it into the house. I figure it is also for them, right? But I need to get that egg back.

2) Play a game with them every day.

I can do better with this. I can try harder. It's just five minutes. SAME I WILL DO THIS THIS YEAR.

1) Have them do chores every day.

Chores every day, because people do chores. This is going to be hard to start back up because I had them doing them and then I stopped and now they'll be like RWAR NO, so I really have to work at it.

Resolution Check In - 2017

Each year, I check back on the resolutions I made the previous year to see how well I've done. I only look at these things twice a year. Once when I make them, and once when I check them, 12 months later. It's interesting to see what my goals were and whether or not I made it.

10) Drink 5 glasses of water a day.

0. This year I felt like fuck water, I guess. I'll try again, but I think I'll go back down to 4 glasses a day. That's more reasonable for me.

9) Go to the gym and/or run consistently 3-4 times a week.

1. I actually did do this enough to count it. There were weeks when I did nothing, sure, but also weeks where I ran, biked or went to the gym every darn day. It would average out to 3-4 times a week, I'm sure of it.

8) Stop biting my nails

0. I mean. I just can never do this apparently.

7) Do something actionable and politically motivated every single week.

1. I did a lot of activism this year. A LOT. But there were weeks and even months where I did nothing. I just couldn't. Then again, there were weeks and months where I did something every day. I feel like averaging again, I'd come out with at least a thing per week. I put a lot of effort into this one, so I'm counting it as done.

6) Read 15 books. Journal 250 times.

0. I read like 4 books MAYBE, and I didn't journal at all because LiveJournal was eaten by Russia.

5) Make $55,000-$60,000.

This is a stretch for sure. I'd be happy with $50,000. <-- I said that when making the resolution.

1. I made $66,000 this year.

4) Publish 100 pieces.

0. I only published 40 pieces this year. I decided to teach instead.

3) Teach at least six classes this year.

1. I taught 10 classes this year, and I developed two more.

2) Publish my thesis.

0. LOLOLOL I really REALLY do not want to do this. Like at all. And I really REALLY should.

1) Save another $5,000 for each of my kids for their college education.

1. I saved $7,000 each for them this year.



Wow, 5 out of 10. That might actually be a record. I hardly ever keep resolutions! Also, I feel like I deserve a bonus point because even though it wasn't on my resolutions list, this is the year I for real quit smoking. Seven months and counting, anyway. That sucked and it was hard.


For my kids and I, I resolve the following:

5) Get them to stop fighting all the time.

0. Fighting is one of their favorite games.

4) Make them do math and reading every day for at least a short while.

.5. I did pretty well with this, though I did let vacations and weekends slide sometimes.

3) Get them into an activity other than Capoeira to expand their horizons a bit.

1. Um, they are in after-school instead, which isn't necessarily expanding their horizons, but we did a billion different summer camps this year, from museums, to engineering, to gymnastics, and a whole bunch more. We're trying.

2) Play a game with them every day.

0. I want to try this again. I really want to do this, but time keeps slipping away!

1) Have them do chores every day.

.5. Chores were mostly used in terms of discipline this year, though they did do A LOT of them. I want them to get used to having to do something small every day just because we are people and that is what we have to do.


Hmm, 2 out of 5. That's not super great, but at least it's something. I have a feeling a lot of my resolutions this year will be repeats, lol.

Resolutions 2016

In 2016, my largest goal is to regain control of my life. I do a lot of things, and in doing those things, I'm almost always frazzled, forgetting something, stressed out, late, not finishing what I need to finish because I overbooked, etc.

I have no sense of calm.

None.

That's the main goal this year. Get it together, me. Be that whole, calm, successful, ambitious person you want to be. Happy and hardworking, but not scattered, rushing around putting out fires I started with disorganization and too much on my plate.


With that in mind, my ten resolutions for this year:

10) Drink four glasses of water a day.

I get headaches frequently, and am often tired and just not feeling well. It's because I do not drink any water at all. I sometimes actually feel like I don't deserve water. That ends this year.

9) Do some form of exercise every day.

Things happen and I won't be able to make it to the gym every day or even three times a week, I'm sure. I won't always have a kid-free 45 minutes to run. So, even if I get in ten sit-ups or push-ups a day, or stretching for a half hour before bed, that will be enough. Just some form of extra exercise (meaning I can't count my walk to school with the kids) each day.

8) Read and journal every day.

Same goes for this as exercise. Even if I read one sentence and write one sentence in my journal, that will count. Just do it. And no internet reading. Book reading. I can find time for a sentence. And hopefully time for more than that.

7) Take care of myself in some way every day.

As with the water, I often skip meals, or showers, or allow my nails to get gnarly. I'll be too tired to even brush my teeth, and this morning was the first time I'd washed my face in I don't want to tell you how long. This year, I still may not shower every day (who has the time?!), but I will perform basic upkeep to ensure my body is being taken care of to at least its basic necessary level.

6) Stop smoking.

I have to really do this.

5) Stop biting my nails.

Same. Enough is enough.

4) Make $40,000 this year.

I don't care how this happens. If I cobble it together with my freelancing, or manage a book thingie, or through teaching jobs, or if I get a full-time thing. Just, do this.

3) Publish 100 pieces.

I made it to 80 this year. I can do 100.

2) Get some sort of big project off the ground.

Could it be the stalled book? One of the novels I have kicking around in my head? Another big thing I've not thought of? Something big and different. Something I have to allow myself to be open to in order to achieve it. Something outside of my comfort zone.

1) Save $5,000 for each of my kids to start the college fund.

I don't know if that is possible. Let's try.




And I make five resolutions specifically with regard to my children each year. This year, I resolve the following:

5) To keep with the scheduling and strike system.

This is a system that helps me keep my emotions out of parenting. It works on a set of strikes and stars and seems to work, when I can put the time in and follow through.

4) Help them study.

I have trouble keeping up with what they are being tested on, and they don't really tell me all that well. Sometimes, as a result, they'll bring home Cs instead of As because we didn't know there was a test. I don't want them to get used to that.

3) Have them read every day.

This year, including weekends.

2) Get them to stop competing and fighting so viciously.

I have no idea how to achieve this, but it is my biggest battle each day.

1) Play a game with them every day.

Some days this will have to be I-spy in the car as we shuttle from activity to activity. But some days, let's really try for board games, puzzles or imagination games at home. We can do this.

2015 Resolution check

So, before I set new resolutions, I have to see whether or not I actually did anything I was supposed to in 2015. Probably not. That's usually how I roll.

Let's see.




10) Stop smoking
NO.
0 pts.

9) Stop biting my nails (for real, this is ridiculous)
NO.
0 pts

8) Go to the gym 3 times a week
Mehhh, no.
0 pts.

7) Eat three meals a day and drink at least 4 glasses of water a day (I need to start feeling better).
Nope. I mean, I kept this up for like 4 months, but not enough.
0 pts.

6) Publish 100 pieces.
Nope.
80.
0 pts.

5) Graduate grad school
FINALLY I DID ONE. Damn.
1 pt.

4) Make $350 a week
Yes. ~$500
1 pt.

3) Get a book deal off proposal
Hmm, nah. But things happened and such. This isn't dead, just paused.
0 pts.

2) After school, get a job or increase earnings to $600 a week
Well, like, I just graduated, so...I mean, I got a teaching job? I'm going to give me this one.
1 pt.

1) Finish one of the many books I have floating around that are started and left for dead.
NO.
0 pts.

Three out of ten.
Fail.
Let's do better next year, eh?




FOR KIDS:


5) Keep them at being nice human beings 75 percent of the time (this is too new for me to trust it).
NO. We had like a major slide. They're just coming around again, but they dropped to like, 25 percent for MONTHS. It was bad. Like really hard.
0 pts.

4) Get them up and ready in the morning quickly and quietly.
Nope. But with my husband's help, this will be achievable this year.
0 pts.

3) Make them do chores every single day. Remember to pick chores back up after sickness
Hmm, yeah, I'll give me this one.
1 pt.

2) Have them read every day.
Yes. But not counting weekends.
1 pt.

1) Get them over this intense competition.
NO.
0 pts.


Two out of five.

So, like, not the best year for resolutions. But you know what? It was a really great year, so I don't know what these resolutions are talking about.

2015 resolutions

Okay, so I need 10 resolutions for me and 5 for me and the kids. This year, I feel like my life has a bit more of a direction, which is definitely what I was searching for last year. The resolutions should be easier to make and mean more. Here we go:


10) Stop smoking

9) Stop biting my nails (for real, this is ridiculous)

8) Go to the gym 3 times a week

7) Eat three meals a day and drink at least 4 glasses of water a day (I need to start feeling better).

6) Publish 100 pieces

5) Graduate grad school

4) Make $350 a week

3) Get a book deal off proposal

2) After school, get a job or increase earnings to $600 a week

1) Finish one of the many books I have floating around that are started and left for dead.




FOR KIDS:


5) Keep them at being nice human beings 75 percent of the time (this is too new for me to trust it).

4) Get them up and ready in the morning quickly and quietly.

3) Make them do chores every single day. Remember to pick chores back up after sickness

2) Have them read every day.

1) Get them over this intense competition.



Okay, 2015. Let's do this.

2014 Resolution check-in

Every year I do a bunch of resolutions. I write out a nice long list, then never look at it again. Not because I don't want to do the things I set out to do, but because the resolutions are more of a general guideline of where I'd like my life to go in the next year, and I like to forget entirely about what I promised myself, then check back in the next year, and see what I had thought I would do versus what I actually did do.

Usually, I do this a little more privately, but this year I figured what the heck? May as well do it here.

So, here were my resolutions from last year. Below each resolution is how I did. I'm leaving in last year's introduction in because reasons.


DECEMBER THIRTIETH, TWO THOUSAND THIRTEEN

This year, I need to be more focused. I need to concentrate on myself (ack, I hate even typing that...you'll see what I mean.) I need to stop wasting time on a bunch of little things, and tackle and complete a few big ones. We shall see.

I'm nervous because 32 is supposed to be my best year. (When I was 16, I decided that 32 would be my best year, and 26 would be my second best year. 26 was the best and the worst year of my life so far. That's the year I had the babies. ... Of course, when I was 16, I also decided I'd die in a car crash at 31. And, so far so good?) CHECK. NO DEATH.

ANYWAY

10) Quit smoking.

Nope. I mean, I kind of tried a few times. But definitely didn't quit. 0 points

9) Finish Holy Seed

This is a book I'd started a while back. I didn't even look at it this year. 0 points

8) Write parenting book

Nope. 0 points

7) Get 10 pieces published (not counting Huffington Post or Buzzfeed).

Killed it. I got 57 pieces published in 21 publications, not counting Huffpo or Buzzfeed. 2 points (extra point, because come ON. I killed it).

6) Do well in school

Done. All As. 1 point

5) Live healthier (go to the gym more, and eat better. Stop drinking so much wine, stop eating anything after dinner).

Nope. I got so sick and injured this year that I had to stop going to the gym. I just started going back two weeks ago. And I still eat like shit. And stop drinking so much wine? What was I thinking? 0 points.

4) Read 12 books. (try to read every gd day).

Nope. I still can't get through The Adventures of Kavalier and Clay. I've been not-reading it allllll year. 0 points

3) Go to bed by midnight every night, 11:30 p.m. on nights the babies have school.

Done. Being sick and injured all year helped. 1 point

2) Publish REDACTED (again), and write one more novel.

Done kind of. I was able to resell that book, but I only got 8,000 words into the next novel under my pen name before that essay kind of changed my path. .5 points

1) Improve my platforms.

Done. I increased Twitter and Facebook followings by a fair amount and my blog got a lot of hits. 1 point

**Extra** make $100 a week.

Done. Starting in July, I began making money from writing for the first time. In those six months, I made enough money that it comes out to more than $100 a week for the year.

1 point.

So, out of 10 points for the year, I got 6.5. That's a decent haul.


FOR KIDS:

5) Get them to be nice human beings 75 percent of the time (stuck at 40 percent)

Amazingly...DONE. Up until October they were still pretty much horror shows, but after making a lot of big changes in how I parent, I've got well-behaved children right now, and have for two months. What even? 1 point

4) Stop yelling at them. (OMG OMG PLEASE STOP YELLING AT THEM).

Done! One of the huge changes I made in my parenting in October was to stop yelling at them. And I was actually able to do it. 1 point

3) Read to them every day.

I'm going to count this as done. They read themselves now, so I don't have to do this. 1 point

2) Have them do chores every day.

Half done. When they are sick, I stop making them do chores and then I forget to make them start doing them again for a few weeks by accident. But they do them when I tell them to. .5 points

1) Get them to accept that they are different girls and can do different things.

Done...mostly. We still have random freak-outs where one won't eat something because the other doesn't want a snack, or something equally baffling, but compared to last year? So. Much. Better. .5 points.

So, out of five kid-points, I got four. Damn good, I'd say.

Stay tuned for this year's goal list.

The Children - 2014

Each year, I grab a photo from each month to show my kids' growth throughout the 12 months preceding. It's fun to see the change from start to finish.

January:

February:

March:

April:

May:

June:

July:

August:

September:

October:

November:

December:

For better comparison:

January 2014

December 2014:

A little taller, a little bigger, but really pretty much the same, no?

Kindergarten Kids - Try Something New

Problem:

So this is the new year, and you don't feel any different. So how do you actually reinvigorate your life without burning yourself out? My suggestion is to try only one or two new things at a time, and make sure those things are for  you. You can do other new things for your kids and your family, but have a few just for you. And introduce them slowly, so that you don't feel guilty or selfish (which you shouldn't anyway, but I know you) for doing them.


Solution:

My personal solution was yoga, which to anyone who knows me is hilarious. I'm like a frenetic chipmunk in all things. I can't get through even 1/3 of a thought before my brain moves on to something else. I wrote up an account of my first yoga class yesterday. The point not being to scare you off new things (which it might, I can't lie), but to show that you can suck at something and still have fun, and still go back. Maybe.

I showed up with my friend, Leanna, and neither of us had ever been before. We were sitting on our mats before class talking about how she accidentally suffocated a mouse. Which we soon learned was kind of not the conversation people showing up at a yoga class expect.

Then my phone rang. Great. And the class hadn't started yet, so I just ignored it, thinking no big deal. Wrong.

The instructor walked in and said, "There is a phone that needs to be claimed." And I'm like, what, because it rang? But I didn't say anything. I felt like hiding, actually.

Someone ratted me out, though. "I think it's in the burgundy purse."

And I'm like, welp, this is getting off on the right foot then.

So, defensively, I said, "Are we not allowed phones for ninety minutes here? Because I have kids with needs, and I'm not turning my phone off for that long. Is this the wrong class for me?"

They helpfully and with no attitude at all (not) suggested I put it on vibrate. That was fine with me.

It was enough so that the instructor came over to me before the start and crouched down to my eye level (I know that trick!) and made a big deal about not starting on the wrong foot. 

This, of course, wasn't uncomfortable or awkward at all.

Then we had to start breathing which was a right mess. I don't like breathing in deeply. It takes too long. But I tried. Throughout the class, though, she was all inhale when you blah and exhale when you blah, and I was like, Crap! I forgot I was supposed to be doing extra special happy thoughts fairy breathing! And quickly overcompensated.

I hit the lady on the mat next to me in the face with my arm once, and knocked over my water bottle loudly another time.

At one point, the instructor asked everyone to relax completely, and someone farted. And I laughed (quietly, thank goodness.) I was the only one. Come on, isn't anyone else 12?

There was a short spurt I enjoyed where we did some poses that were really difficult for me. But the first half hour was all sitting and breathing. She said, "make your intention for the day. It can be for you, someone close to you, or the greater good."

I was all, my intention for today is to KICK ITS ASS.

Not what they're looking for there, I expect.

Then at the end we wasted (it felt like to me. I know that centering yourself and being one with whatever the fuck we're supposed to be one with is important, but I'm just not there yet) Anyway, we wasted the end thirty minutes lying there, doing nothing.

Jesus, I just about died.

She's all, invite the softness in. I'm all, dude, the softness was laid off about a decade ago.

I did learn that I clench my jaw like a mofo though. Every time she said relax your jaw, I was like, oh yeah. CLUNK.

Anyway, the whole time we were laying there doing nothing, I was running through all the things I could/should be doing instead, and when I wasn't doing that, I was berating myself for being privileged enough to be able to lay around and do nothing but think about myself for 30 minutes.

So that when she said, accept your inner goodness, my inner whatever just about died laughing and was like, but can we go now, though?

I had to go up to her after class, and say to her, look, I'm obviously really high strung and frenetic. I'm going to keep coming, I think, so please don't think I have attitude or look down on you or yoga or anything. It will just be me laughing at myself. I promise. I mean no disrespect.

She said, ... ... ...I think this class will be really good for you.

And I was like, sure, if I can get over analyzing the ceiling tiles for imperfections when I'm supposed to be letting the good air in or whatever, or softening my thighs, whatever that is.

Great start? Maybe not so much. But it was new, it was for me, (something I obviously need to work on), it was kind of fun, and I'll try it again. And that makes the new year new.






 

New Year 2014

I'd had a nice little blog pic share post planned for New Year's, since we always go out (with our kids) to celebrate, and I figured many other people did. But then I got sick. Like really sick. Probably sicker than I've been in a decade (which, considering how sick I just was in November, is saying something). So we didn't go out.

Our New Year's looked like this:

My husband played cards with the girls until about ten when we put them to bed. Then I suffered through a few hours of Anderson Cooper and Kathy Griffin. Then I went to bed. And stayed there until basically right now. That's how sick I was. Great start, eh?

Some of my blogging friends had a better New Year's than we did. (Not that ours was all that bad. Being deathly ill, and going to bed right after midnight at home certainly beats many of the NYE's I spent as a young twenties, drunk and having a shitty time no matter where we were.)

Only one had a picture to share, Alex Nguyen over at Alex Nguyen Portraits:

She and her family went to a party! Looks like so much fun, too!

I had a few fellow bloggers try to recapture their own young twenties, one going to a party, childless, and the other hopping on a plane to fly over the world as the time changed.

They both had miserable times, unfortunately.

Most, though, stayed home, like we did. Games with the kids, then a kiss and champagne at midnight (if they made it that long) then bed.

And no one had any complaints. We may not be glamorous, but we're fairly happy. That's a good thing.

Happy New Year.



 

A New Year of Fail Won't Hold Me Back

It is January the fourth.

I set out a bunch of resolutions and have not yet followed one of them.

I have, however,

- eaten all the Christmas goodies
- eaten a large bag of Cheetohs
- stayed up too late reading trashy Tumblr blogs
- freaked out about my writing projects
- yelled at my kids
- loved my kids
- played with my kids
- freaked out that grad school starts on Monday. Starts. On. Monday.
- gotten dressed around 1 p.m. each day
- taken at least one shower
- spent too much money
- not made enough money
- felt like I've been cleaning my house all day everyday
- not cleaned my house nearly enough
- made several business calls to people who were not there because they take a holiday
- told the bank teller that I wanted to order checks then left before actually ordering the checks because I've lost my mind.
- made peppermint cotton candy from a candy cane.
- freaked out about how little I've been able to accomplish thus far in the year
- freaked out some more

Not a good start. So I'm calling a redo.

Starts on Monday (because that's how I roll.) 2013 will start on January 7th. Bam. Done.

Now I've got to go. I've got more freaking out to do.




 

Happy New Year 2013

We're a late family anyway, so keeping the kids up until midnight was not remotely hard. We went downtown where they hold a New Year's concert every year. This year we had the pleasure of a Rolling Stones cover band. "Mick Jagger" alone was worth the price of admission. (It was free.)

He took his job very seriously. I think I saw him in three different shiny shirts, and he damn near perfected his little chicken strut. Amazing.

The girls were amused with huge bubbles and noise makers, and I'm starting my 2013 with bruised feet because I just can't do dancing all night on five-inch heels anymore.

Without further ado, though...I give you 2012-2013, Gainesville style.

Noisemakers!

Bubbles:

Dancing:

And take one:

Come, on, kids, pretend.

That's better. Jeez.

Happy new year!