Yoga Phrases for the Competitive Mind

I'm basically the worst match for yoga in the history of ill-fitting romances. I'm not one to just "let go of what I'm holding". I need that shit. Also, I'm not satisfied to just be present in my body. That body has things to do, and I still haven't quite reconciled that fact with me allowing it to lay still for fifteen minutes "softening." When I "follow my breath" I follow it to the ground. It took me two months to figure out the instructor meant follow it into your body, not follow it after it leaves your nose. In class, I compose frenetic to-do lists, figuring out how to best compose my day after this basically groundless excuse to stretch for an hour while listening to Gregorian chants.

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You could say I'm an anxious sort of person. Which is why I started doing yoga. So…well done?

I'm not quite ready to "receive the effects of the postures" and I thought maybe I'm not the only one who hears something other than what is said during this hour of "being present."

With that in mind, here's a short run down of how yoga terminology translates to in the competitive, scattered mind, and how one might react to such phrases:

There is no achievement, there is no goal.

Achievement right now would be doing a correct pigeon, thank you very much. Actually, that's the goal, too. There is achievement and goal, right here! Why are you lying to me?

Discover who you are without struggle.

Without struggle I am...nothing. Well, that's depressing. Let’s quickly move along, shall we?

Find your edge.

Actually, I'm interested in finding your edge, instructor. That's why I'm here. To be as good at this as you are.

Be curious about where you can go.

Can I jump right over my edge? That's where I'd like to go, please. This edge is kind of in my way.

Doing the posture will not make you a better friend or neighbor.

Good thing I'm not here to be a better friend or neighbor. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm trying to force my knee to the floor with my mind, and you're interrupting The Force, here, lady.

The worst that could happen is that you fall.

That will never ever happen. Like neve--WHOA! Well, shit. That was embarrassing.

Think about crawling your fingers back.

Crawl your damn fingers back. Now.

You might even hold onto your foot with your hand.

You will hold onto your foot with your hand if it kills you. God, I hate my edge. HAND. GO TO FOOT. HAND. WHAT ARE YOU DOING? GO. TO. FOOT. I COMMAND YOU.

If you are struggling, let it go.

No.

Suffering is not required.

Thank God it's still optional, then. Because until I am my most beautiful tree, you can bet your ass I'm going to suffer.

Breath, relax, think, feel and allow.

So…I have a grocery list to compile right now, if we're just going to stand here for a sec.

Let your body move any way it's asking.

Is it my fault my body always asks to cross its arms, slouch and look at the instructor impatiently? I think not. I'm just doing what she said.

Soften the space between your eyes.

What? There is a skull there, dudes.

Without lifting your head, lift your ears.

What in the hell even?

This is a beautiful place to practice.

Translation: You totally suck at yoga. Don't hurt yourself, big guy.

Let go of what you are holding.

Um, no? That is a really scary prospect, and if you don't mind, I'll just cling to it, lest it get away from me and then ambush me later.

Be in the present moment.

But, like, the present moment is kind of boring, though. I'm pretty boring, to be honest. Can we be somewhere else? I hear zen is pretty rad. Let's go there.

Consider deepening the twist.

Deepen that motherfucking twist, right now.

Let your hands come to wherever they rest.

Touch. The. Floor. Without. Bending. Your. Knees.

Honor your edge.

Translation: Hahahahaha, I see you failing this pose. Give up now before you humiliate yourself.

One side might want something different than the other.

Translation: Man, you really suck on the left side, huh? I guess that side just wants to lie down. Maybe eat a bonbon.

Nothing to do, nowhere to be but in this moment.

God, why am I such a privileged piece of shit? All the other people have things to do and places to be. TRY HARDER. AT EVERYTHING.


Of course, I am fully aware that you are not supposed to think these things, but I don’t care.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a book to write, a marathon to run, two children to raise, dinner to cook, school to go to, manuscripts to edit--omg. Where's the coffee?

 

Fitness Corner - Body Combat 47 Track 3 Make U Mine

Okay, we tried a second one. This one is easier because it's punches, not kicks. If you want to look silly at home, like me, BC is the way to go!




 

Couch to 5K Check In: Fitness Corner

Hey c25k participants! How is your week going? I'll be doing week 2 day one.

I've been thinking a lot about what we are all capable of. Early last week I did a spin class. Now, I've done spinning classes before and really enjoy them but when I walked into the room for this particular spinning class the instructor took one look at me and came over to chat with me. I think she was trying to talk me out of the class (while trying to act encouraging). "Are you sure about this?" she asked, "Have you tried anything like this before?" she asked. I told her that yes, I was sure and yes I have done many such classes thankyouverymuch.

After the class she thanked me. I was the only person who kept a smile on my face for the entire class. And it was fun. It was fun to prove her wrong and the class itself was fun. I had a great time.

I guess, in a round about way, it goes to show that we are all capable of much more than we (or others, in my case) give us credit for. Don't be scared to put yourself out there!

And if you didn't join in the fun last week, there is still time. Remember, any goal counts. Do you want to run a 5k? Check out the Couch to 5k program. Want to walk? That's cool too! Already a runner? Try working on something new like improving your pace. Anything goes and we'll all do a 5k together on July 20th.

Teaching Ain't For Heroes' Emilie ran a 5K in 33:31 on Saturday, May 4th. She is working on getting her average pace to around 9:30 per mile. Go Emilie!!!

Post your successes here and I will highlight you next week!

 

Moment of the Week - 140: Baby Bicep Curls

Sometimes having small children can help in your weekly workout. LOL.






 

Guest Post - Quick Exercises for the Busy Mom

Today I have Jill Shousboe talking about exercising around the house!

The one thing moms generally wish they had more of is time. More time to spend with their family, get their to-do list finished, and something else that often goes by the wayside: exercise. It is difficult to find time to hit the gym as a busy mother. These five exercises are quick and easy to do at home, and are perfect for the super busy mom.

Push Ups

Push ups are an exercise that most everyone knows how to do and are very quick. For the busy mom, it would be best to do 3 sets of 25 repetitions of push ups per day. If you are unable to do 25 push ups when you are first starting to work out regularly, simply adjust your position to where you rest on your knees instead of resting on your toes. This will make the exercise a little bit easier while you are trying to initially build up your arm muscles.

Curls Around the House

Putting away the groceries that you just spent lots of time buying? Take a few extra moments and curl the heavier objects that you're unloading. Doing three sets of anywhere from 8-12 reps once a day will really make a difference in the definition of your arms.

Planks

One of the more difficult at-home exercises is the plank. There are three types of planks: the front plank, the left plank, and the right plank. To do a front plank, simply balance yourself on your forearms and the tips of your toes and arrange yourself in a flat, plank-like position. Hold this position for as long as you can and do it three times per day. This will build up your back and abs in an incredible way. For the side planks, the only difference is a twist of the body. You will only support yourself with one forearm and the side of one foot. This will tone your hips and obliques and help banish that dreaded muffin top.

Superman

This exercise is one that is easy to do and builds up the abdominal muscles. In order to perform the "Superman" exercise, one must lay flat on the floor on their stomach. The very busy mom will then use 30 seconds of her time for 3 sets doing this exercise. Simply lift your arms and legs straight out and off of the floor, mimicking Superman when he flies through the air.

Cardio Know-How

Not only is it important to tone your various muscles and muscle groups, but it is also necessary to work cardiovascular exercise in to your daily exercise routine. Without cardio, the muscles will be tighter, but only under a layer of fat. For cardio, there are many exercise options. If time permits, the busy mom can go for a walk or jog, bike ride, or she can get a membership at a gym and take advantage of all of their cardio machine options. There are also at-home cardio exercises such as taking extra trips up and down flights of stair, to general cleaning activities such as vacuuming, moping, and anything else that gets the busy mother up off her feet.

Jill Schousboe is a full-time au pair and a contributing author for dentalinsurance.net







 

Why Parents Should Go to the Gym

Do you go to the gym? I didn't used to. After a brief affair with it in college where I went every day, I quit it, to happily never look back. Until now.

I'm not particularly health conscious, and I'm not concerned with my weight, so I didn't really have a goal in mind when I signed up for a membership in January. In fact, I did it for my husband. He'd been complaining about our one-room condo association gym. When I dragged the girls there to get him a membership, I found out they had free childcare for people working out. I was sold.

But I still hated it. I don't like the machines, and I don't like repetitiveness, and the smells, and the crowding, and the looks. Just not a fan. Then a friend of mine introduced me to Body Combat.

And I've never looked back.

It's fun! There's music, and lots of people, and routines. There's rowdy camaraderie and all sorts of people mixed together. It is exactly what I need to get away from myself.

You see, I find my life very boring, and those who say, "hey, you need some time for you, to just be alone, to get out," have good intentions, but, for me, that doesn't work.

The minute I'm away from my kids I'm wondering about them, missing them, worrying over them from afar. I'm just not used to being without them. So my break always ended up being just as bad as if I'd stayed home.

For me, the gym solved that. First we used the childcare. With the girls so close and me being able to go check on them whenever I wanted, the transition was smoothed over for me. But the girls ended up being sick for three months straight. No matter what I did, they always picked up some illness or another. They needed a break.

Now I actually pay for a sitter to come for the hour I go. It's worth it. They stay well, they're getting accustomed to me leaving, and I'm no longer worrying about them.

Here's why: At Body Combat, I don't have time to think about it. I don't have time to chastise myself for being away from them or worry about them. I have to keep punching and kicking to the rhythm, and by the end of the hour, I'm exhausted, yet refreshed.

It's social because I'm with a group of similarly minded people, and yet it's not intimidating because I don't actually have to talk to them. So that this group of strangers and I have gotten to know each other without all that pesky conversation. The regulars see each other every week. We know our different personality types just based on how we react to instruction in class, whether we jump around more or stand more, whether we punch close or far. Honestly, I'd say that if I met one of these women on the street, I'd be able to have a full blown conversation with her because I would know her speaking rhythms and what type of broad personality she has. A dozen friends just waiting to be made, but no one forcing anyone to make them.

The added bonus is that, physically, it actually works. I expected no results at all. I haven't exercised in probably seven years. I can't run a mile without getting an asthma attack, and yet my endurance and strength has increased ten-fold with this class. My body looks better.

I look better and I feel better. It gets me out of my humdrum self. It forces me to just do something without thinking about me or my family for an hour. And they're not kidding about the endorphins. I just feel better afterward. I can't explain it.

If you hate the gym as much as I thought I did, maybe try something similar. Just get out for an hour. A whole hour, no cheating. Grab a coffee, or take a walk, or go on a drive. Take pictures, or go to a library and read. Anything that gets you out of the house and distracted from yourself is a good start.

We have to keep ourselves balanced because no one else can do it for us. And when we feel more whole, it's easier for us to be there for our kids in our full capacity.

The gym. It worked for me.


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