Moment of the Week - 107: Beach Day!

Can't go wrong with a day at the beach.

 

Party Pointers

A party of errors? Not really. The girls had a great fourth, all things considered.

Here are some things to consider, though, when you throw your own party.

- Party favors come in packs of eight. Not ten. Buy two of everything.

- If you're having your party at the pool, don't let your kid drown. This is a serious statement. My kids know not to go into the pool without their swimmies on. They've never done it before. Someone throws a party hat in the water, though, and mommy's back is turned greeting guests? All bets are off. One wet mommy, a drowned party hat and a safe kid and lots of hugs later, we all survived. Thank God. There is not one scarier thing than having to jump into the pool after your kid who can't swim.

- Pinatas are made of cardboard. It rains in Florida. Do not keep your pinata outside.

- If you do, a pizza box bottom will work as a quick fix. (Thanks, Osvaldo!)

- Stock drinks other than soda. We did juice boxes, which were much more popular than the soda. They are only four, after all.

- If you have a big kid coming, invite a couple more along. We had a few six and seven year olds who were able to play together without getting (too) bored.

- Timing. Some kids are going to have to nap. While an afternoon party (say 2-5) would be the best time for me, it's not for the kids. So we did high noon to about 2:30 p.m., then everyone went home (some to nap!) Last year we did it at 5 p.m. (after nap). Whatever works.

- Keep it moving. Even with a pool, kids are going to get bored and want the next thing quickly. As soon as everyone arrived, we ordered lunch. 20 minutes in the pool for everyone while we waited for it, then time to eat. Right after that, I cleaned a bit and went home to grab the cake, giving the kids another 20 minutes or so to play. Then cake. Then pinata. Then a few more minutes of play time. Then presents. Then home. Bam, bam, bam.

Remember: Most people aren't going to see your mistakes. They're busy having a good time. So relax, if you can!

 

Moment of the Week - 100: Wave Crashers

Jumping the 'gigantic' waves of the Atlantic...with Daddy's help.

 

Toddler Tricks - 50: Teaching Them to Swim

Problem: It's summer, and you'd like to go to the pool, but your kids don't know how to swim, and you're worried about them.

Solution: There are many products on the market that put my mind at ease when I take my twins to the pool. Since there are two babies against one adult, I have to be extra careful not to let one's little head slip under the water as I fuss with her sister. Buying a suit with foam inserted inside is a good option. The downsides are that the suits don't hold a child upright, so if your baby is quite young, she'll still go under without being held. They're also a bit hard to wash, and they can be difficult to take off as the water makes them quite tight on the skin. A small inner tube will keep the child afloat, but prohibits movement so that learning swimming strokes is near impossible. Noodles are advertised for ages 5 plus, but I've found them to be fine and fun as a supplement, so long as an adult is watching closely. My favorite floating devices remain the arm bubbles...seemingly the same ones I wore 25 years ago when I was a kid. Can't mess with perfect, I guess. Here are the babies in the suits.




Problem: Your kid wants to dunk her head, but doesn't understand to hold her breath.

Solution: Work with them slowly. It's actually easier if you have them in any one of the floatie devices I mentioned above. This way they feel confident that they will come back up should something go wrong. Practice the steps several times before actually having them go under water. Tell her and show her how to close her eyes, close her nose and hold her breath. After she's perfected the order and can do them all almost simultaneously, make sure you're holding her securely so that she feels safe, and lower her under the water quickly before bringing her back up even more quickly. She should be under the water for less than a second. This way, if she swallows a bit of water, she'll be able to recover physically and psychologically without become afraid of the water. Comfort and praise for everything, even mistakes. That way they know they're being brave and big and they'll be confident that they'll get it someday.

NOTE: I am not trained in water and kids AT ALL. This is not an idea from an expert or from someone who might actually know something. This is just what I happen to be doing with my kids.



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Easier Harder

Being a parent is a constant strategizing battle. When the kids are babies, you baby proof so they don't get hurt. Gates on doors, latches on cabinets, soft rubber on corners, small and dangerous things move to top shelves. I clearly remember being scared for their lives when they first learned to climb up onto the couches. I was certain they'd fall. They didn't.

As they grow, they can do more without hurting themselves. Climbing stairs is now sport, clambering on couches isn't even fun for them anymore. It's just what they do. Their old Bumbo seats? They make excellent stepping stools to reach unattainable items that had previously been safe from searching baby hands. Every time I adjust my baby proofing to keep them safe, they adjust their tactics to get themselves into potentially dangerous situations. I adjust, they adjust, and on and on. As they become more dexterous and nimble, I am able to loosen certain restrictions, only to have to make new rules for complications that I hadn't thought of when first granting permission.

Yes,  you can now climb the stairs. Isn't it great?  No! You cannot jump down the stairs two at a time. No! You cannot slide down face first.  Yes, you can now sleep on a big bed and not in a crib. No! You can't jump on the bed or bang on the now-accessible windows. Yes, you can now drink from a regular glass. No! You can't do it in the living room. You can't hold it with just two fingers.

As things get easier for me as a parent, they get harder in different ways. An example of this is swimming.

I sometimes take my children swimming in the mornings. I have no pictures because I'm by myself and I'm too nervous to step back and snap a shot. What if something happens?  How many news stories do we hear about toddlers drowning? At the pool, it's two against one. Should one of them choose to bolt to the deep end and jump in, could I get there fast enough? Could I trust the other one to keep herself safe while I'm occupied saving the first?

These were concerns I didn't have last year. They were so small that I held them both when I took them swimming, or we played in the six inches of water in the baby pool, or they sat in those tube things with the mesh seat and just floated idly around.

Now, when I take them by myself, they wear those padded swim suits that float plus arm floaties. I don't have to hold on to them because they float. I can separate myself from them enough to teach them how to kick and move their arms in a swimming motion.

So, while swimming with them this year is harder, in a way, it's easier too. They walk willingly to and from the pool now, without my having to carry them or deal with tantrums. They don't require a million pool toys to keep them occupied, which frees my arms for hand holding through the parking lot. When we're in the pool, even though I'm right there, teaching them and helping them, it's less strenuous than holding them both and trying to keep them entertained at the same time. They entertain themselves.

I would say going to the pool is a much more enjoyable experience this year. Still just as hard, but in a different way.

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The Art of Leaving

Timing is everything.  It's always a challenge leaving a fun place with toddlers, but you can't let that keep you from taking them places (although I'd like to just stay home using that as an excuse).  One of the ways to successfully leave is to follow your toddlers' lead.  This requires a lot of time and flexibility, but sometimes it can be pulled off flawlessly.

First, you have to wait until your children just barely start to get bored.  When the pauses between activities become just a little longer than they were, start subtley packing up.  If your kids are still having as much fun as they were in the beginning, it's going to be exceptionally hard to drag them away without a tantrum.  On the flip side, if you let them get too bored, they'll quickly move from ready-to-leave to hellion-mode, allowing the boredom to get the better of them and you.

Yesterday, I took the babies swimming.  We splashed in the kiddie pool.  We played on the steps of the big pool.  We filled buckets with water.  We danced around the play area.  Someone came out of the gym, and the babies set to offering him leaves and buds from nearby plants.  I noticed, though, that they started listlessly looking around, waiting for their next fun opportunity to arise.  As those opportunities dwindled, I started packing up.  I know from experience that uttering the words, "let's go home," creates instant turmoil.  Even if they were ready to leave, once those words are spoken, they will insist they were in no way ready yet.  So, instead, I told them to put on their shoes.  I pointed out something fun just beyond the pool gate, and we left the pool quietly.

Success!

Had I tried to leave before they were done giving the stranger leaves, or splashing in the pool, I would have had floppy toddler fish on my hands.  If I had waited any longer, the games the babies were playing to distract themselves would have taken a more daring, more dangerous turn - something a mom with twins by herself in a pool area cannot afford.  When one twin runs one way and the other another way, it's usually cute to onlookers and only slightly annoying to me.  In an area where there are large bodies of deep water on either side, two kids running in opposite directions is harrowing at best, disasterous at worst.

So, when you need to leave a fun place, start paying attention to your kids' cues.  They'll never tell you their ready to go, but they'll slow in their innocent endeavors as they start to think of more devious ways to spend their time and amuse themselves.  And if you think this is a large window, you'll be unpleasantly surprised.

I'd say you have anywhere from three to nine minutes to actually leave a place once you see a fit of slight boredom set in.

Ready.  Set.  Go!