Moment of the Week - 125: Ultimate Fighting

The kids are insistent on improving their street fighting skills. Daddy is a willing participant. He gets his butt handed to him, though!

 

Moment of the Week - 123: Kung Fu!

Nothing says bed time like a little Kung Fu! First Natalina, then Dulce.

 

Moment of the Week - 120: Getting Them to Bed

In our house, getting the kids to bed is a different adventure every night. Here's just one.

  Goodnight, girls!

 

Preschool Pointers - 7: If You've Got Help, Use It

Problem: Your kids are taking a long, long, long, long, long time doing, well, anything. I know that my kids can make eating take two hours (and not in that enjoyable dinner party way). They can take 15 minutes to settle themselves in the car. Getting dressed or undressed takes another thirty minutes, and if it's time for bed, forget it. With the "last times" of playing alllllll the games, the sudden bursts of energy that have them running around, the gleeful hiding and giggling, not to mention the actual stuff that needs to get done, like going to the bathroom, washing up and brushing of teeth, bedtime can take more than an hour around here. It's frustrating, especially when it's 10 p.m. or later. (We go to bed late in this house.)

Solution: If you've got someone around who can help, use them! We've noticed that when my husband comes downstairs for the bedroom routine to distract the twin that isn't doing the bathroom stuff, things move along a lot more quickly and a lot more nicely. He plays with one child while I help the other one finish up, and the one doing the actual work wants to go play with daddy, so she makes it quick (read, not 45 minutes, arguing with me over whether or not she brushed her teeth...when I was standing right there. Oh, kids.) Then when they're both done, they play one quick game with him and I can say, "Hey, if you want one more game, get dressed for bed quickly." and they do. And he helps by making it a race.

Sometimes even when you have a partner, you get used to doing certain things on your own and it leads to some very slow transition time. Try double-teaming those things! Especially if you have twins.





 

Guest Post - Specific Tips for Putting Twins to Bed

Today I'm lucky enough to have a guest post from Agnes Jimenez about bedtime...something that can take anywhere from 15 minutes to an hour for us, depending on the day and mood.

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All children have different preferences when it comes to bedtime. Some like a nightlight; others may
want a glass of water, while some will fight tooth and nail to stay up. Having twins can make this even
more difficult. If you are having problems getting your kids to sleep, there are some very specific things you can do to solve the issue.

Consistency is a huge part of having a successful nighttime routine. Give both kids a five minute warning before bedtime. This will give them a chance to mentally transition and to finish up whatever they are doing. Pick a time for bed and stick to it. Vary this time by no more than an hour on the weekends. Letting children stay up late on Friday and Saturday nights will cause them to basically have jet lag on Monday morning. If getting kids to sleep on the weekends is tough, plan fun things they love to do on Saturday or Sunday morning. This will give them motivation to get up in the morning, which will help them transition to sleeping at night.

Make your evening relaxing and predictable by filling it with calming activities. Read stories, sing songs, or have cuddle time. Make sure both twins have an activity that they like. If one wants a story and the other wants to sing, make sure both have what they need. Try to make it predictable by turning it into a routine. For example, maybe the children have a bath, then get a story, and then cuddle with you before bedtime. You can change a regular bath into a bubble bath, choose a different story, and have them cuddle with daddy instead of you. But keep the main activities the same.

Take care of their physical needs ahead of time. Provide bathroom reminders, make sure they have on
comfortable pajamas, be sure each child has their favorite toy, and adjust the temperature of the room
ahead of time. Be sure they are comfortable with nice sheets and the best mattress. If there are other
preferences like a nightlight or glass of water, make those available as well. Most importantly, leave
before they are asleep and allow them to settle in themselves. It is important that children learn how to
relax on their own.

It is possible to put twins to bed! Be positive and try to make the evening relaxing and calm. Stick to a
predictable routine that varies as little as possible. You can enjoy a nice night with your twins.










 

A Parent's Road is a Tired One

My husband was right.

The girls went to bed at 11:30 p.m. last night. (They share a room and can often be found "having picnics" or "going camping" after lights out.) Since it was so late when they laid down their little heads, I figured they'd sleep until at least 9 a.m.

My husband said, "They'll probably be up at 7."

Not to be outdone, Natalina pounded up the stairs at 6:38 a.m. I tried to put her back to bed, but I knew it was an exercise in futility.

She was hungry, she said. So I fixed her some cereal, and got her and Dulce dressed. She ate three pieces of cereal.

The real reason she was up is that the days are getting longer. The sun is shining earlier. She even pointed outside to prove me wrong. "But, mom, it's light out, see?"

Now they're busy wrecking my house, which I could swear they just did yesterday, and the day before, and the day before.

Also, demanding cake. Because that's a perfectly reasonable request.

Edited to add: I know why! I told them we would make strawberry shortcake today! Never do this. Never  give them something to look forward to. I make this mistake once every few weeks, and it always ends up like this. They have been asking me nonstop when we're making the cake.

The only solution is to run them ragged, I guess. We're just getting over a cold and they don't know what to do with all their energy. But they're still coughing and sneezing so I can't really take them anywhere public. Looks like it's bikes, and tag, and the big bad wolf game today, over and over again. I've got to tucker them out.

Wish me luck.

Toddler Tricks - 63: You'll Ruin It

Problem: When my kids were younger, they had an obsession with wearing shoes. They always wanted to be wearing shoes. It got to the point where they even begged to nap in them. These days, they're good with shoes on or off, but sometimes they still want inappropriate things at nap time, like their princess dresses, or necklaces, or some hard plastic dolls. You don't want to start nap off with a screamfest, so what do you do?

Solution: This started off as the truth, but when my kids hear a reason that makes sense to them, they stick with it, regardless of object in question. And who am I to look a gift-horse in the mouth? I run with it. One day, they wanted to wear their princess dresses to bed. I said, "Oh, no, you can't. You'll ruin it." "Woon it?" "Yup." and I sat them down, showed them the threaded seams and how those would most like rip apart in their sleep. Seeing it physically like that cemented the reasoning in their minds and it was reasoning they accepted. I only had to do it once. Now, whenever they want to wear sunglasses, shoes, or bring their million blocks into bed with them, I simply say, "No, you can't, you'll ruin it/them." And they quietly nod and let it go. Magic.



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Moment of the Week - 48: Bedtime fun

First the bath:

Then change for bed.

But before we actually put our shirts on...we need to sing a little song.

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The Witch Is Coming!

Last week, my babies went to bed for the first time in what must be a year without making me go back in there to resettle them.  A magical secret of happiness and sugar plums as they drift off to sleep?  Hardly.  Actually, I scared the pants off of them. But it was an accident, I swear!

They love stories, especially during potty time. On this particular night, they'd requested stories about a witch. So I made one a prince, the other a princess, and the bad guy was a witch. (Okay, okay, I'm no JK Rowlings, I get it.) Anyway, after the story, we continued playing a game about the witch. She was coming. The prince and princess had to get away! It was time for bed, and if there's one thing the babies hate, it's getting into their jammies. So, I had the brilliant idea to make them magical jammies that would protect them from the witch overnight. To get them into bed, I told them the witch was coming, and we had to go hide under our covers to be safe.  I was just trying to get them into the room for the bedtime routine. But on this night, there was no bedtime routine. In its place, I had two cowering babies, eyes full of fear, clinging to me as I said goodnight to them.

They allowed me to leave without protest, and I heard not a peep from that room for the rest of the evening. Why? Because I'd told them (in play) that if they were very quiet and stayed still, the witch wouldn't see them.

I felt horrible. My husband and I had explained to them over and over again before we left the room that the witch wasn't real, that we were only playing a game.  No dice.  Had I terrified my children? Had I scarred them for life?

I was sure of it. I was ready to pick up my worst mom of the year award.

Thankfully, my mother-guilt had underestimated my babies. They made it through the night in tact. The morning came and they were bright and bushy-tailed, ready to take on the day.  And that night?  They asked for the witch game again.
They have requested the witch game every night since, and every night now, instead of a long drawn-out bedtime routine, they hop under their covers quickly and quietly, accept a kiss and go to sleep.  The fear has left their eyes, and they're simply caught up in the game before bed.

This might be the best development ever.  What a lucky accident.


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Toddler Tricks - 31

Ways to Trick your Baby:

Problem: Your children won't go to bed. You've got a nice bed time routine going: they do the whole schpiel every night, but when it comes to actually walking into that bedroom, they refuse.  You don't want a major upset before bed, so you must trick them into going of their own voilition.

Solution: Mix up the very last part of the routine so that you have several games in place, all of which lead to the bedroom.  My husband and I have had luck with "horsie," where we get down on all fours and offer rides to the bedroom, caravan-style.  We'll sometimes dance into the bedroom, either swinging the babies in our arms, or inducing them to follow us in our joyous pied-piper celebrations. Sometimes we will have them put a stuffed animal or toy to bed as a continuation of a game we were previously playing with those toys, or we'll "steal their noses" and hide them in the bedroom.  Any of these work on any given night, provided it's not the same game we played the night before.


Ways your Baby Tricks You:

Problem: You're all in the bedroom.  Now your children won't get into bed.

Solution: We have a separate set of games for this purpose.  Sometimes we'll do a dance party where the babies will spin around until we lift them up and gently toss them into their beds in a fit of giggles. That's not been working lately.  Their favorite get-into-bed game as of late has been when I climb into one of their beds, and their father climbs into the other. We pull the covers over us, and reverse roles, asking the babies to give us a kiss goodnight and tuck us in. Then at the last second, we tell them that we don't fit very well in the small beds, and we're going to go into the big bed for mommies and daddies. The babies usually take our place in their beds without protest. Then, before they can change their minds, we commence to kissing them silly and turn out the lights and say goodnight.


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Toddler Tricks - 23

Ways to Trick your Baby:

Problem:  It's 10 p.m.  Your kids are playing in their room -- giggling, jumping around, squealing, the whole bit.  They're happy, at least, but they really need to get to sleep.  No matter how many times you settle them back down, they're up again within minutes, running around and playing make-believe games.

Solution:  Surprise them.  Settle them down, close the door, and make as if you walked away, but stay right outside the door.  The moment you hear a rustle, bust back in there and remind them that it's time for bed.  Repeat this.  Sometimes let them rustle for a few seconds before busting in.  You shouldn't have to do this for more than 10 minutes, in my experience.


Ways your Baby Can Trick You:

Problem:  They incorporate your smooth ninja style into their game, and now it's a million times more interesting because a grown up is involved.  At this point, continuing on is useless.  You have to calm them down because they won't be able to do it themselves. 

Solution: I have a pillow in the middle of the room, and I'll lay down, let the babies know I'm there -- not for playing or laughing, but for sleeping.  They are usually grateful for my presence and settle down, occasionally trying to talk to me or request something.  The most important part of this solution is that you must leave while they are still awake.  I have made the mistake of staying in there until both have nodded off, and that sets up a precendent that can keep you prisoner in the nursery for hours each night.  Once your kids are calm and sleep is most likely going to overtake them (it's a tricky timing game) retuck them in and kiss them goodnight, making it clear that you are leaving but you will be back.  Make as if it's the first time you tucked them in for the night.  With any luck, you'll be hearing nothing but silence from that room after you leave it.

Toddler Tricks - 18

Inspired by my friend Chelsea:

Ways to trick your baby:

Problem: You've just switched over to the toddler bed (or taken the rail off your now-outlawed crib), and your toddler has discovered he has run of the room.  Instead of sleeping, there's a raucous party going on in there, a party of one (or in my case, two).  You've taken all the toys out of the room, you've made sure it's as boring and calm as it could possibly be, and still, your child has developed an imagination strong enough carry on a conversation with his fingers - child ingenuity at its best and most annoying.

Solution:  First, have patience.  None of these tactics are going to work on the first try.  Keep going in after shorter intervals, putting the child back in bed and explaining to him that it is time to sleep.  He'll ignore you for the most part, but as he gets more tired, he'll eventually nod off, and the message will have been sent to his subconscious for later use - "When mommy puts me in bed, it is time for sleep."  Obviously, this doesn't work overnight.  Something that hastens the process for us is taking the bulbs out of the light.  When the babies find they can't turn the light back on, they lose interest in trying to stay awake a lot more quickly.


Ways your baby tricks you:


Problems:  If your child is not yet tall enough to reach the light switch right now, he soon will be.  Every time you switch off the light, and quietly leave the room, within 30 seconds, you'll see the room lighten and hear the laughter begin again.  By now, it's 10 or 11 p.m.  Somebody really needs to sleep soon.

Solution:  Take the bulbs out of the light.  Or unplug the lamp and put a socket protector in for the night.  Or, if you're lucky, like us, turn the light off manually so that the wall switch no longer works.  The first time we did this, the babies shouted at us, "Oh no!  Light!  Light on, light on!  Mama help!"  After the third night, they realized mama wasn't going to help this time because it was time for bed.  If they're really wound up, they may still try to play for a while, but without the aid of the light, they get bored and tired a lot more quickly, and everybody wins.  If your child is afraid of the dark, invest in a soothing night light.  I've found my kids don't like the ones with shapes or movements, it distracts them at naptime, and during the night, it can actually scare them.

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Routine Change

Toddlers thrive on routine.  It gives them confidence; it allows them a sense of power over their unknown lives.  If they know what is coming up next, and they can predict it, they feel as if it is something they have decided for themselves.  That sense of independent decision making, while false, is excellent not only for their self esteem, but for tantrumless days for the caretaker.

When routine is broken, as it sometimes must be, you can expect your toddler to rail against the unfairness of life, not out of spite or anger, but more out of fear.  Suddenly, all they thought they knew has shifted, has changed.  Change is scary, even for adults.

This unfortunate occurrence has the effect of ruining the first night of any "vacation" my husband and I have ever tried to go on.  The new surroundings, combined with the adventure of different sights, sounds and smells, accumulate with such dramatic effect that by the time we all turn in for the night, our children, in a cloud of muddled and confused rage and fear, explode into quivering, wailing toddler puddles in their new room.

They wonder if mommy is gone forever.  They wonder why it's so dark in there.  They wonder where their own beds are.  They're so tired, and, yet, nothing is right.  They cannot sleep when nothing is right.  So that even when I give in and go to them, laying in between them the wrong way on a double pull-out couch, they cannot rest, instead jostling me, climbing on me, trying to be as close as possible to me, in case, of course, I should try to sneak out again, and leave them to face most certain death alone.  I can only imagine all life is this dramatic to a toddler.

They were scared.  So many times we forget to look at things through our babies' eyes.  Their antics annoy and irritate us because they cannot see the world as we see it.  They are not crying out in order to stay up longer or to get us to come in and play.  They are crying out of fear.  Out of loneliness.  Sometimes even out of anguish.  For even though they cannot speak clearly, their imaginations are quite developed.  I shudder to think about what they must make up in the dark of a strange room with only silence to greet their panicked shouts.

This chronicles our first night of vacation.  The second and third nights were much easier.  Not only were the babies a bit more used to the room in which they would sleep, they also had the comforting knowledge that they had made it through the first night no worse for the wear, if a little more tired. 

But the real difference came by chance.  Instead of all going to bed at the same time, I put the babies down first.  Then the adults settled into dinner and conversation around the kitchen table.  I found myself annoyed as my step-father and husband continued to banter, wondering if they even cared that the babies needed to sleep, thinking, surely, their voices must be keeping them awake, tantalizing them.  But I was wrong.  Their voices soothed the babies, comforted them.  So that after a few jovial shouts, the room fell silent.  In listening to sounds to which they were used, the babies were able to fall seamlessly and comfortably to sleep.  While we may not have been in the room with them, we were still here.  It made all the difference in the world.  Simply the voices of those they love can soothe them to sleep.  It proves to them we are still there.

Any Routine Will Do

Routine is important for toddlers.  They need structure in their lives as they struggle to understand the subtleties of getting through each day as a human being.  You can make a routine for everything, and many times, inadvertantly, parents create routines for their children, and those routines become habit.  In this house, we wake up.  The babies have some cereal, then I make them some milk.  They watch a bit of television, then we go outside.  Before we know it, it's nap time.  We grab Bear and Blankie and head to the nursery for some stories.  For one story, they sit on the floor next to me.  For the next, they must be in bed.  A traditional nap time routine. 

When my husband comes home from work, we all eat dinner.  The babies watch a bit more TV while I make and clean up from dinner.  We play games in the living room, have a bit more milk, and it's time for bed again.  We do the same thing every day, with the details rearranged a bit.  Maybe one day's outside adventure will be swimming; the next day's will simply be walking the garbage to the bin.  One day we'll play chase the baby inside; the next we'll be building blocks.  But the general framework remains the same.

In this way, daytrips to the beach or shopping mall adventures become special trips, which supercede the routine's importance in your toddlers' minds (if not in their bodies), and making a fun day into an extraordinary day, after which, the kids are more than happy to settle back into their routine.

But routine need not be boring, nor need it be traditional.  I made up our nap time routine.  You can tell.  It's a traditional slow calming down into sleep.  My husband made up our bedtime routine, which has a slightly different rythym.  After milk, my husband and I round up Blankie and Bear, and set to marching into the bedroom.  Even if the babies are saying no when we begin, rare is the day when they can resist the call of "March, march, march, march, left, right, left, right, left!"  Within seconds, we have two toddlers in their bedroom lifting their knees and shouting, "March!"  Once in the bedroom, it's time for "night-night."  And we literally jump to bed.  "Night, night, night, night, night, night, night!"  Then a quick kiss, cover with the blanket and mom and dad slip out.  It's certainly not traditional, and it doesn't exactly wind them down, but it works like a charm.  See for yourself:

Of course, this is a little lackluster.  The babies were confused as to why I was holding a camera instead of jumping up and down and shouting.