So, You Think You Want to Baby Wrap? Start Here, a Beginner's Guide - Contributor Post

I keep seeing these amazing photos of Joella from Fine and Fair all wrapped up in elegant knots with a baby in the front, a toddler in the back, and two arms free. And I'm like, but how, though? She helped me answer that question.
...

Wrap: Natibaby Hemp Clovers (Indigo)
Carry: Ruck Tied Tibetan

There are plenty of reasons that babywearing is popular (here are 10 of them!) and there are plenty of carriers on the market that allow parents to wear their babies and children safely comfortably. Woven wraps are an option that has grown in popularity but that can seem intimidating to the inexperienced. I'm here to eliminate some of the mystique around woven wraps and give some tips for beginners to get started with learning how to wrap!

More than mere pieces of cloth, woven wraps are designed and constructed for the purpose of carrying babies. They are woven from high quality natural fiber blends including cotton, wool, hemp, linen, or bamboo. They are available in a range of sizes to accommodate parents and babies of any shape and size. Different sized wraps also allow for different carries. Woven wraps can be used to carry babies in front, back, or on the hip, and can even be used to wear more than one child at the same time! The variety of colors and patterns, from bright and bold geometric designs to pastel rainbows and everything in between, mean there is an option to match every mood or wardrobe.

Top to bottom: Didymos Sequoia Waves, Ellevill Jade Spring
Natibaby Hemp Clovers (Green), Natibaby Linen Ispir (purple)

A great place to start learning about wraps and wrapping is PAXbaby's Woven Wrap Guide. Start there to learn more about the wrap lingo, sizing, and some basic information about wrapping. When you've decided to take the plunge and start wrapping, here are some of my tips for beginners, learned through trial and error in my experience as a woven wrap enthusiast!

• Choose your wrap. For your first wrap, I highly recommend buying used. While used wraps are often close in cost to their new counterparts (a testament to their great resale value!), they have the benefit of being "broken in" which makes them softer and easier to work with. Choose something you like the look of. If it's pretty to you, you will use it! Unless you can't stand them, I suggest starting with a striped wrap. Stripes make it easier to learn how to tighten, and also easier to keep track of which rail (edge) of the wrap you are working with. 
• Watch Videos. A million of them. Watch videos from different people until you find one that makes sense to you. Some of my favorites on YouTube are Babywearing Faith and Wrapping Rachel. At first, just watch. When you find a carry you want to try, watch the video a few times. Then watch the video and try to follow along with a large stuffed animal, or even a bag of flour. When you feel relatively comfortable, try it with a real baby! When you're learning, always make sure baby is calm and content, well fed, and in a clean and dry diaper. Trying something new with a tired, fussy, hungry, wet baby is a recipe for disaster.

  

  Wrap: Inda Jani Fular Mitla Rojo
  Carry: Front Wrap Cross Carry

• Start with front carries. While it can be tempting to try some of the beautiful and comfortable back carries, master some front carries before you attempt to back carry. Even if you've used a moby or other stretchy wrap a million times, wrapping with a woven is different and a bit more challenging. Mastering front carries will teach you the logistics of wrapping and give you practice learning to tighten and secure everything, which is of utmost importance when you graduate to tossing your baby on your back. Front Wrap Cross Carry (FWCC) is a great first carry. The basic Ruck carry and the Secured High Back carry are popular choices for beginner back wrappers.
• Be patient. Wrapping is a skill that takes time to learn and master. It takes lots of practice to get good at it. It took me several weeks, practicing every day, to successfully do a back carry in a woven wrap. It took me several more months to back wrap without a mirror in front of me and a bed behind me. Several more before I back wrapped in public. My first few attempts ended with me a sweaty, crying, red-faced mess. This is a physical skill and it will challenge muscles that are not used to being challenged. Be gentle with yourself, take your time, and don't give up!

Does this seem like more trouble than it's worth? Woven wraps definitely have a steeper learning curve, and can be a heftier investment, than many of the baby carriers on the market today. While those are definite drawbacks to consider, the benefits of woven wraps are that they are the most supportive, adaptable, easy to adjust carriers out there. While she's outgrown many of commercially available carriers, I can still easily carry my 4 year old in a woven wrap. I can lend a wrap to a friend of any size, with a child of any size, and know that he or she will find a carry that works for them. Pragmatism aside, the beauty of woven wraps can't be beat! If you've got the time and patience to learn, woven wraps may be the best carrier you'll ever use. 

Wrap: Inda Jani Fular Rayado
Tandem Carry

...
I mean, this is just amazing, right? I'm in awe.



 

10 Reasons to Baby Wear - Contributor Post

Today, Joella from Fine and Fair shows us how easy and helpful wearing a baby can be! Why should you wear your baby?

Why yes, I did just weed my whole garden!

1. Get shit done.

Anyone with children knows how difficult it can be to get anything done efficiently, especially when they are
very needy babies. Without baby wearing, the options are: do shit when the baby sleeps and spiral quickly into sleep deprived delirium/psychosis (this depends on having a baby who will fall/stay asleep without touching you, which, lol), let the baby scream and cry while you get shit done and scream and cry yourself, or get shit done in short bursts with one hand while wrangling your baby. Babywearing keeps your baby snuggled against your warm body where they can smell your familiar smell and hear your familiar heartbeat, keeping them content (and often lulling them to sleep as you move around!) while you have your hands free to do some cleaning, cooking, yard work, homework, etc. (Safety tip! Don't bend at the waist while wearing your baby. Squat instead for bonus leg/glute toning!)

Professional.
Do not attempt.

2. More effectively parent more than one child.

The transition from one to two children can be overwhelming at best, and panic inducing at worst. My mother warned me that two children is far more than double the work. Our family doctor confirmed that the work involved with two children does not double, it multiplies exponentially, so like, science and math and stuff. Babywearing has saved my sanity as I learned to juggle the very different needs of my two children. With the baby safely snuggled against me, my hands were free to play with my preschooler, to fix food for her, or to assist her with dressing, pottying, and other self care needs she was almost-but-not-quite independent with.

3. Help lose the pregnancy weight.

When I had my first child, I totally banked on that "Breast feeding makes the weight melt right off!" crap. For someone women, it does! For other women, it does not! (Guess which I was?) Despite breast feeding my daughter for over 2 years, I never lost all of the weight from my pregnancy with her. Now, I did wear her a fair amount, but not nearly as much as her brother gets worn, because, see # 2. Wearing your baby not only adds a weight bearing element to the movement your already do, it enables you to move more because you aren't stuck on a couch or rocking chair pinned down by your baby all the time!

4. Fret less.

When your baby is sleeping  (or even just hanging out) snuggled close to your body, you will be less inclined to worry about his or her well-being. No need to go check on them 20 times during an hour long nap. No need to worry that they might find something chokable on the floor. Simply snuggle and take comfort in feeling their sweet breath against your skin! Forget babyPROOFING* and get into babyWEARING!

*j/k, don't forget babyproofing, you can't wear your baby ALL the time....OR CAN YOU?

5. Make Mama Friends.

Babywearing is a great conversation starter when it comes to meeting other moms. Whether it's complimenting another mother on her carrier, or answering questions about yours from the woman juggling babies and groceries, babywearing can give a jumping off point to start chatting up other moms. Many towns and cities also have local babywearing groups who host play dates, meetups, and picnics! Strap your baby on and talk about it, I swear it's not (that) annoying! Hell, I'm doing it RIGHT NOW!

6. Impress people.

Look at that wrap job! Fancy!

People who aren't familiar with babywearing tend to be quite impressed by it, and a little ego stroke to a new mom whose ill-fitting yoga pants are in a perpetual state of puke-covered is never a bad thing. They might be impressed how much you can (SEE NUMBER 1). Or by your ability to (SEE NUMBER 2). Or maybe how quickly you (SEE NUMBER 3). They may just be overwhelmed by how cute your carrier is, or fascinated by the precision and skill required to wrap a baby on your back. They will be dying to know how you keep your baby so quiet and content, or where you found that ingenious carrier that is both comfortable and cute. Perhaps you'll venture into the world of making or dying your own carriers and blow them away with your crafty creativity. Regardless of what they're struck by, many people are seriously impressed by babywearing prowess!

7. Deal with fewer random baby-touchers.

This point is rather self explanatory. Random creepers are less likely to touch a baby snuggled up on your chest or on your back than they are to reach right in to your stroller. A bitchy resting face offers a bit of extra insurance. ;)

You can't even tell my boob is out!

8. Breast feed in public discretely.

I'm an advocate for breast feeding moms nursing whenever and wherever their baby is hungry, however they're comfortable doing so. Many moms are more comfortable with a bit of privacy or with a cover, and many babywearing options offer both! There are a number of nursing-friendly carriers and carries that can make breastfeeding in public private and discrete with a little bit of practice. A few trial runs in front of a mirror and you'll be whipping your boobs out like a pro with no one the wiser! Wraps and ring slings are probably the easiest to nurse in, but the more popular soft-structured carriers can accommodate nursing with some creativity and practice!

9. Bond with Baby

Babywearing can help facilitate the bond between moms and babies, particularly after a traumatic birth or a difficult start with breast feeding. The close proximity makes skin-to-skin time easy and allows you to smell each others' scents (yes, even the gross ones) and hear each others' sounds (yes, even the gross ones). It further allows moms to notice cues for hunger, diaper changes, or sleeping more quickly and accurately.

10. Enjoy warm, fuzzy feelings!

Cuddling with a sweet, soft, snuggly baby just feels good. 'Nuff said!

For more on babywearing, breastfeeding, attachment parenting, recipes, and feminist parenting, all with a touch of snark and a dash of sarcasm, visit Joella's blog Fine and Fair and follow her on Twitter, Facebook, or Pinterest.

Parenting Online - Part 1

As a first-time parent, I did a lot of research online.  I looked at Kelly Mom, at Dr. Sears, at the World Health Organization.  I joined parenting groups and forums, baby groups and pages.  We have the internet's boundless knowledge, facts and experience at our fingertips, we may as well use it, right?

In my years of hardlined internet research, I learned one core fact I think every parent should take into consideration: you can find an expert to back up any belief you have.

It's true.  No matter how you choose to raise your child, you can find someone on the internet to tell you that you are doing it right.  For every one person you find to tell you that, there will be 20 more to tell you that you are doing it wrong.
 
My solution?

You need to do what feels right for you and for your child.  You cannot go by the book in parenting because there simply is no book.  Or, rather, there are 80 billion books.  As new parents, we often don't have the confidence to rely on ourselves, on our gut feeling, but with all this conflicting information, it's really all we have.

Here are a few examples of what I am talking about:

1) You are unsure if you should babywear.  Babywearing.com has an effusive writeup on the benefits of babywearing, many parents in your chosen internet forum advocate it, but, then again, there was that recall a while back.

People have been wearing babies for centuries.  If you choose to do so, you are following in their footsteps, and they've created millions of people, so I'm sure you'll be fine.  Alternately, people have been putting their babies down for centuries, and those babies turned out okay, too.

I never babywore.  I had twins.  Problem solved.  I didn't even have to look into this one.  (Although, I'm sure there are many advocates who would tell me I should have worn them both.  Perhaps saddlebag style?)

2) Breastfeeding or formula feeding.  Most news stories, experts and websites you'll see agree that breast is best, but your mother in law, your aunt, and the hospital in which you gave birth are pushing formula. 

Again, babies have been fed both ways for many, many years.  Those babies made it, and so will yours.

I breastfed for three months.  My babies never latched and needed to take my milk from a bottle.  I fought tooth and nail to continue, but the babies were less than 10 pounds at that three month mark, my breasts were making less milk, and I had to go back to work.  I switched to formula.  I'm here to tell you, I am still a good person, and my babies are thriving two year olds.  It's okay, and it's nobody's business how you feed your child.  Do what's best for you.

3) Cosleeping.  You can find multiple articles for and against cosleeping.  Some physicians say it's dangerous and leads to SIDS or other problems.  Others say that theory is rubbish, that cosleeping is good for baby and parents, that it strengthens bonds and leads to a better night's sleep for all involved.  You need to do what's right for you.

We never coslept.  My kids made it.

4)  Crying it out.  Babywise says do it.  Everyone else says don't.  Again, I stick to my adage of doing what's right for you.  In this particular instance, though, I must let my bias show, as I cannot imagine how letting a small baby cry for any long amount of time is good for anyone involved.  But I'm no expert.  That's what Google is there for.

And these are just a few.  There are so many questions that need to be answered.  And once you make a decision, there are several important follow ups.  So that if you decide that a pacifier is right for your family, you then have to research what type of pacifier, and when you're supposed to wean baby from that pacifier, and when you can and can't use that pacifier, and how often, and for what amount of time.

With all of this ready-made knowledge, we're essentially taking the intuition out of parenting.  I'm not advocating shunning the internet.  The information is there, we best use it.  I'm simply saying, don't forget, in all the noise of the typeface coming through your computer screen, to listen to yourself, and, more importantly, to listen to your child.