Creating Great Workspaces at Home -- Guest Post

More and more of the workforce is telecommuting or working at home at least part of the time.  There’s lots of benefits to this: it reduces your commute time and likewise your environmental impact, it can allow for more productive and uninterrupted work time, can save on relocation costs, and a host of others.  Telecommuting is a huge boon for parents who need and value the schedule and workplace flexibility.

But how do you make sure your work-from-home time is as productive as it can be?  It starts with a dedicated, well-designed workspace.

Ask yourself some questions to begin determining what kind of space will meet your needs best.  Where are you at your most productive? Do you need lots of natural light? Do you meet with clients or business partners in your home office? Will you need space for special equipment or filing cabinets? What is your budget?

While larger homes mean that many of us can set up whole rooms as home offices, not everyone has that luxury.  Check out a variety of home workspaces below and determine what might work best for you!

New Workspace / Nick Keppol / CC BY 2.0

Workspace number 1: Dedicated home office

If you have a spare room that you can use for your office, you can set up a great workspace sanctuary.  Choose paint colors that will inspire you to be most productive in your work- shades of blue and green work well.

With a dedicated room, you can enjoy quiet for conference calls, and easily use the space to meet with clients and others. You can keep things as minimal or as cozy or cluttered as you like.  If you’re lucky, you can use a space with lots of natural light- or if you prefer a more den-like workspace, the basement may be an option for you.

Home Sweet Studio / THOR / CC BY 2.0

No matter what your space, you’ll want an ergonomic desk chair to support you while you’re working, or you’ll want an anti-fatigue mat if you use a standing desk.

Workspace number 2: Secretary or small writing desk in a spare corner

Do you lack a spare room to set up your home office? Perhaps a secretary desk or rolltop writing desk would be a good option or you!  Secretaries are great for tucking away your work when you’re doing other things, and have a small footprint, while allowing you to maintain a dedicated workspace.  Add your laptop and you’re good to go to get your work done.

 Writing Desk / Dvortygirl / CC BY-SA 3.0

Workspace number 3: Shared office

Maybe you and your spouse or partner can work well in the same office, and you can save space that way! Shared offices are a great way to keep workspaces separate without taking up as much living space.  Consider a double desk or a built-in workspace, and play rock-paper-scissors to decide who gets to sit by the window.

Home Office /Panjanfirst / CC SA 3.0

Workspace number 4: Office/Guest room

A combined office and guest room allows for efficient use of space, without sacrificing a place for guests to stay.  Consider a murphy bed to keep the sleeping area tucked up and out of the way during your workdays. Portable screens can also help to divide space and allow privacy and comfort for your guests if you need to access your workspace while they are staying with you.

Guest Bedroom / Adriane Leithauser / CC BY 2.0

I work from home one day a week myself, and my workspace is an office I share with my husband. What is your home workspace like? Share your photos in the comments!

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When she’s not making play-doh spaceships with her two young sons, Jenny Hill, CPLP creates engaging, accessible, and effective learning experiences, so learners can reach their potential and do their most meaningful work. You can contact her on LinkedIn at https://www.linkedin.com/in/jenniferreneehill.

My problem with the mommy wars

So, I have a problem with the mommy wars.

Ready?

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They're BORING.

That's it.

I'm just, I mean, can we just not?

Now, I know I'm speaking from a place of privilege here because my girls are now six, and I remember, (oh, boy, do I remember) how super-duper important shit like whether I was classified as a stay at home mom or a work at home mom, or who loved their kids more or the most, or whether or not me calling my kids little jerks when they were meant I didn't love them, or breastfeeding vs. bottle feeding, or cloth diapering vs. disposables, or eating your placenta vs. painting with it or whatever the case, was.

I promise that I remember that this was important. At one time. For some weird reason.

I mean, look back in the archives of this blog to 2010/2011 and, like, half of it at least is made up of posts where I tell everyone that no matter what they do, they're probably still rad parents, and they don't need to worry about how long that dude's (aka the mom who just wrote whatever other blog) dick was. We were all dicks together, kwim?

So, yes, I get it. I get when some ahole publishes this piece on xojane that people are going to be hurt and upset and shout about it. Because she wrote it to be hurtful and upsetting so people would shout about something.

(Cue the whole, not uh! I was just stating my point of view to add to the discussion! I can't control people's reactions to my rightness! I'm just a writer doing what I do!)

Anyway, I'm not annoyed at that piece (well, I mean, I am, because it's hugely exclusionary to those mothers for whom staying at home is not a privilege, and trust me, lady, there are many!).

I'm annoyed that it got picked up by Time and various other outlets. I'm annoyed that then Salon and The Daily Beast and a bunch of others wrote a response.

Back in 2011, it would have annoyed me because people were getting their points of view across in major media outlets and I could not. That's no longer an issue for me (OH, MAN, CATCH THAT HUMBLEBRAG).

These days, I'm annoyed because it's taking up space in my news feeds, and forcing my attention to it when it's literally nothing. It's so incredibly boring, for real.

This is stuff my first-time mothers and I hashed over for hours on our own personal journals and forums and groups. We could spend days on this stuff. There is no drama like mama drama after all. And, there, at least it was in real time, and people could say to me, "oh, you work so hard and are such a good mom, so why are you still on here fighting with me?" and I could go, "NO U" and etc. It was glorious. It was relevant. It was where I knew where to find it.

It was not in Time or Salon or other national outlets. At most, a regular columnist would be empty that week and write a thing. But a freelancer? Hardly ever.

So, yeah. I'm annoyed. If you're going to complain about how being a stay at home mom isn't a job but a privilege in your opinion, for Christ's sake, have the decency to do it in your groups and forums where it belongs.

There's nothing new in that piece. There is no research, no new trend, no numbers. Hell, there aren't even any anecdotes. Just a personal essay. Which is fine. It's great. I love personal essays. But it says absolutely nothing that hasn't been said 1,000 times before and argued over a million times before that.

This isn't a post bemoaning the existence of the mommy wars (there are plenty of those, too. But for all their flappery, really, they're also just contributing to the mommy wars. It's all just an excuse to talk about how other people shouldn't parent. Meta or not.).

This is a post asking that the mommy wars please return to their designated areas. Some of us have more important shit to do in our lives right now. NOT because those mommy wars are not important (believe it or not, they probably saved my sanity when I had two year olds). But because they do more for their audience when in the right space, and, also, they annoy the general population less.

Just saying.

Reasons Moms Might Not Talk to Each Other

Here's how it sometimes feels to be a mom, and why we can't seem to call on our support group of other moms when we most need to.

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- Everyone else's kids seem perfect. They're so good, quiet, smart, well-behaved. Often your tales of having to drag your spawn out of the grocery store while they screamed bloody murder are met with blank stares.

- Since your kids are only kids, you are betting you are the problem. That's embarrassing.

- There's a possibility your kids might be the problem. And that's a problem.

- Sometimes, other moms will commiserate, but their stories never end up with them locked in the bathroom crying and begging for mercy.

- In this way, those moms are even harder to talk to because they actually deal with the same bullshit you do, and they can hold it together and lovingly nurture their babes, instead of dialing the circus over and over again as they rock back in forth in their bathroom full of tears.

- In the back of your mind, you're sure this is actually a normal, everyday problem and you're just being dramatic. You don't want people to think you think you're special or a mommy martyr or anything.

- In the other back of your mind, you fear this is actually not even close to normal, that no one has to deal with this issue like you do. And you don't want people to know you accidentally gave birth to a sociopath.

- You're the mom, you should know what to do. When you don't know what to do, it should be for cute things, like, which cloth diaper covers are the best for baby skin. If you don't know what to do with your own damn child, you fail. Goodbye.

- You don't want people to know you did the wrong thing. Again.


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I don't really have anything to say about this list I've made. I'm just throwing out ideas as to why moms might not feel like they can use their supportive friends and family sometimes.

Oh, I would like to say that all of those things are wrong and hogwash, obviously. But that doesn't negate the fact that they can exist as thought-patterns in the brain of a frustrated, overworked mother.



 

10 Reasons to Baby Wear - Contributor Post

Today, Joella from Fine and Fair shows us how easy and helpful wearing a baby can be! Why should you wear your baby?

Why yes, I did just weed my whole garden!

1. Get shit done.

Anyone with children knows how difficult it can be to get anything done efficiently, especially when they are
very needy babies. Without baby wearing, the options are: do shit when the baby sleeps and spiral quickly into sleep deprived delirium/psychosis (this depends on having a baby who will fall/stay asleep without touching you, which, lol), let the baby scream and cry while you get shit done and scream and cry yourself, or get shit done in short bursts with one hand while wrangling your baby. Babywearing keeps your baby snuggled against your warm body where they can smell your familiar smell and hear your familiar heartbeat, keeping them content (and often lulling them to sleep as you move around!) while you have your hands free to do some cleaning, cooking, yard work, homework, etc. (Safety tip! Don't bend at the waist while wearing your baby. Squat instead for bonus leg/glute toning!)

Professional.
Do not attempt.

2. More effectively parent more than one child.

The transition from one to two children can be overwhelming at best, and panic inducing at worst. My mother warned me that two children is far more than double the work. Our family doctor confirmed that the work involved with two children does not double, it multiplies exponentially, so like, science and math and stuff. Babywearing has saved my sanity as I learned to juggle the very different needs of my two children. With the baby safely snuggled against me, my hands were free to play with my preschooler, to fix food for her, or to assist her with dressing, pottying, and other self care needs she was almost-but-not-quite independent with.

3. Help lose the pregnancy weight.

When I had my first child, I totally banked on that "Breast feeding makes the weight melt right off!" crap. For someone women, it does! For other women, it does not! (Guess which I was?) Despite breast feeding my daughter for over 2 years, I never lost all of the weight from my pregnancy with her. Now, I did wear her a fair amount, but not nearly as much as her brother gets worn, because, see # 2. Wearing your baby not only adds a weight bearing element to the movement your already do, it enables you to move more because you aren't stuck on a couch or rocking chair pinned down by your baby all the time!

4. Fret less.

When your baby is sleeping  (or even just hanging out) snuggled close to your body, you will be less inclined to worry about his or her well-being. No need to go check on them 20 times during an hour long nap. No need to worry that they might find something chokable on the floor. Simply snuggle and take comfort in feeling their sweet breath against your skin! Forget babyPROOFING* and get into babyWEARING!

*j/k, don't forget babyproofing, you can't wear your baby ALL the time....OR CAN YOU?

5. Make Mama Friends.

Babywearing is a great conversation starter when it comes to meeting other moms. Whether it's complimenting another mother on her carrier, or answering questions about yours from the woman juggling babies and groceries, babywearing can give a jumping off point to start chatting up other moms. Many towns and cities also have local babywearing groups who host play dates, meetups, and picnics! Strap your baby on and talk about it, I swear it's not (that) annoying! Hell, I'm doing it RIGHT NOW!

6. Impress people.

Look at that wrap job! Fancy!

People who aren't familiar with babywearing tend to be quite impressed by it, and a little ego stroke to a new mom whose ill-fitting yoga pants are in a perpetual state of puke-covered is never a bad thing. They might be impressed how much you can (SEE NUMBER 1). Or by your ability to (SEE NUMBER 2). Or maybe how quickly you (SEE NUMBER 3). They may just be overwhelmed by how cute your carrier is, or fascinated by the precision and skill required to wrap a baby on your back. They will be dying to know how you keep your baby so quiet and content, or where you found that ingenious carrier that is both comfortable and cute. Perhaps you'll venture into the world of making or dying your own carriers and blow them away with your crafty creativity. Regardless of what they're struck by, many people are seriously impressed by babywearing prowess!

7. Deal with fewer random baby-touchers.

This point is rather self explanatory. Random creepers are less likely to touch a baby snuggled up on your chest or on your back than they are to reach right in to your stroller. A bitchy resting face offers a bit of extra insurance. ;)

You can't even tell my boob is out!

8. Breast feed in public discretely.

I'm an advocate for breast feeding moms nursing whenever and wherever their baby is hungry, however they're comfortable doing so. Many moms are more comfortable with a bit of privacy or with a cover, and many babywearing options offer both! There are a number of nursing-friendly carriers and carries that can make breastfeeding in public private and discrete with a little bit of practice. A few trial runs in front of a mirror and you'll be whipping your boobs out like a pro with no one the wiser! Wraps and ring slings are probably the easiest to nurse in, but the more popular soft-structured carriers can accommodate nursing with some creativity and practice!

9. Bond with Baby

Babywearing can help facilitate the bond between moms and babies, particularly after a traumatic birth or a difficult start with breast feeding. The close proximity makes skin-to-skin time easy and allows you to smell each others' scents (yes, even the gross ones) and hear each others' sounds (yes, even the gross ones). It further allows moms to notice cues for hunger, diaper changes, or sleeping more quickly and accurately.

10. Enjoy warm, fuzzy feelings!

Cuddling with a sweet, soft, snuggly baby just feels good. 'Nuff said!

For more on babywearing, breastfeeding, attachment parenting, recipes, and feminist parenting, all with a touch of snark and a dash of sarcasm, visit Joella's blog Fine and Fair and follow her on Twitter, Facebook, or Pinterest.

Worn Out, but What Do You Do All Day?

I'm worn out.

There, I said it.

I'm tired.

I want to play with my kids more, but I don't have the time.

I work from home, and the deadlines pile up, deadlines for little if any money. And at every turn there's another employer beckoning for my attention, threatening to pull the plug on the relationship, wondering, 'why can't you just do this for me NOW? You're sitting at home while I'm at the office, working my ass off. Why don't you write, or edit, or research, or blog for me somewhere between your morning bath, your soap operas and bon bons and your third cup of coffee taken leisurely on the porch?'

As if my time is meaningless. As if the tasks I perform are worth less than the nothingness I get paid. As if I'm on vacation.

This is no vacation, people. This is my life. And I love it, I do, but I'm tired, and my priorities belong to my children. I know that's not going to make me successful in this world. I get it, I do. But I am stretched to my limit. I work all through nap, all through Sesame St., all through the hours after bedtime to get your assignments into you, and they get there, don't they?

Yes. They do.

And I know I'm whining, but how many other mothers feel the same pressures with different specifics? My bet is almost all of them. Having young children is not a magical playland for adults. It disrupts life as we know it, for most of us.

Just now, in fact, I had to leave this post to help my daughter use the bathroom in the middle of her nap. I took care of a tantrum, of her sister that had awoken and sang to them. It took a half hour. Will they go back to sleep? I doubt it. Nap time work time gone.

Anyway, I'm not saying to allow me to turn in shoddy work, or go past deadline, I'm just asking for a little more slack, a little less condescension. Understand that I can't show up to your business in person to interview you unless you want two three year olds tagging along. Know that email works best for me, not because I don't like you, but because no one wants to hear a tantrum on the other end of the phone, right?

And I know what you are saying. 'So, then, just quit a few of those things.'

It's hard to understand, but I just can't. I can't and I don't want to. I already feel marginalized enough in my current role. At least if I have to do 50 things for 50 different people, I'll feel as if I've done something. Anything. I can't give up. I can't admit defeat. I will not. One of these enterprises is going to get me on my feet, is going to get me back into the working world when I have to go. I must be prepared. And since I don't know which job it's going to be, I need them all. I need you, employers. Yes, I do.

And let's not forget that none of this would be possible if I didn't have a partner who understands that the house won't be immaculate, even though I'm home and should be on top of it.

Whether it's keeping a home, freelancing your time while you watch your little ones, or running back and forth to the office, wondering how your children's days are going, every parent of young kids is under enormous pressure.

Sometimes, in fact, we feel so rundown that we can't even manage a coherent blog post that's not us whining about how hard it is.

Sorry about that. I'll be back tomorrow, chipper as ever. I promise.