Ways to Trick your Baby:
Problem: Your kid is having a meltdown. It may have started out as a minor disagreement over some toy or distress that he can't find something he is looking for, but given a few minutes, it's grown to a fullblown tantrum.
Solution: Use a time out, but depending on age, don't think of it as a punishment. I just realized this the other day, but here, when we use time outs, it's purely a calming down period. After a certain point, all logic is lost on my two year olds. They wouldn't be able to understand punishment in their state of distress. Some of my friends are able to do times outs and have their children come out saying 'I'm sorry,' and putting on their happy faces. We're not there yet. So, I put them in a safe spot to calm down, and as soon as they've made it over the freak-out hump, I start talking to them and explaining the situation, and what they need to do when it happens again. If I waited for apologies and happy faces, we'd never do another thing that day. If I allow them to continue on with their day without a sitdown period where I'm with them, they would quickly spiral back to the same argument they were having...with the same result...in an endless loop.
Ways Your Baby Tricks You:
Problem: It takes more than a few minutes for your child to calm down, and you can't leave them in their timeout spot crying all day.
Solution: I mentioned before that we do all of our hugging on the green couch, but that's not entirely true. The twins take time outs in their room. If they are not calming within a minute or two, I will go in there and allow them to get out their feelings until they feel like a hug. Then we hug on their bed for a few minutes before I start explaining the situation and how they must act in the future. It helps them to know that it is the behavior that is being frowned upon, not them. And these days, the babies will even ask for a hug on the bed if they are particularly upset. They associate the green couch with regular frustration, and bed hugs with what they consider extreme distress at certain events.
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Showing posts with label hugs. Show all posts
Showing posts with label hugs. Show all posts
Saturday, March 12, 2011
Saturday, February 12, 2011
Toddler Tricks - 26
Ways to Trick your Baby:
Problem: Your child loves you. She loves you so much. She needs to show you her love at all times in all ways. But sometimes, you're busy. You can't pick her up in the middle of your task, but she will have it no other way. If you give in, you'll end up carrying her in the kitchen, in the bathroom, in the bedroom, everywhere. If you do not give in, you'll end up with a tantruming child you'll eventually have to pick up anyway.
Solution: Designate a specific place for hugs. Our hug spot is the green couch. When your little one comes around looking for love, tell her you must go to your hug spot for affection. Then, at least for the first few days, interrupt what you're doing to go there and hug her immediately. Soon she'll get the idea that the hug spot is where the best affection occurs and the balance of desire will switch from the affection itself to the place of affection.
Problem: You can't always leave what you are doing unattended, and babies can be too impatient to wait. In my house, the request goes from "Green couch?" to "Green cooooouuuuucccchhh" in a matter of seconds. But if the stove is on, or you need to go to the bathroom, your kids will have to wait.
Solution: Address their request immediately in some manner so they don't feel you are just ignoring them. Tell them you'll be at the hug spot at a time in the near future, but that you have to finish whatever task you are currently doing first. This will result in a tantrum or two at first, but if you stick to your word and go to the hug spot after you're done stacking the dishwasher or whatever you've been doing, the babies will come to trust you. In this manner, you will be able to postpone affection-giving to a time and place that is convenient and, more importantly, not dangerous. Your children will have inadvertantly learned patience. When this works, it really helps save a parent's sanity. Clinginess has gone way down in this house since I first started the hug spot.
__________
Don't forget to submit your pictures!
And if you like this blog, why don't you vote for it at Tales of an Unlikely Mother on Babble.com? We're number 15, just scroll down and click on the thumbs up! It's quick and easy to do!
Problem: Your child loves you. She loves you so much. She needs to show you her love at all times in all ways. But sometimes, you're busy. You can't pick her up in the middle of your task, but she will have it no other way. If you give in, you'll end up carrying her in the kitchen, in the bathroom, in the bedroom, everywhere. If you do not give in, you'll end up with a tantruming child you'll eventually have to pick up anyway.
Solution: Designate a specific place for hugs. Our hug spot is the green couch. When your little one comes around looking for love, tell her you must go to your hug spot for affection. Then, at least for the first few days, interrupt what you're doing to go there and hug her immediately. Soon she'll get the idea that the hug spot is where the best affection occurs and the balance of desire will switch from the affection itself to the place of affection.
Problem: You can't always leave what you are doing unattended, and babies can be too impatient to wait. In my house, the request goes from "Green couch?" to "Green cooooouuuuucccchhh" in a matter of seconds. But if the stove is on, or you need to go to the bathroom, your kids will have to wait.
Solution: Address their request immediately in some manner so they don't feel you are just ignoring them. Tell them you'll be at the hug spot at a time in the near future, but that you have to finish whatever task you are currently doing first. This will result in a tantrum or two at first, but if you stick to your word and go to the hug spot after you're done stacking the dishwasher or whatever you've been doing, the babies will come to trust you. In this manner, you will be able to postpone affection-giving to a time and place that is convenient and, more importantly, not dangerous. Your children will have inadvertantly learned patience. When this works, it really helps save a parent's sanity. Clinginess has gone way down in this house since I first started the hug spot.
__________
Don't forget to submit your pictures!
And if you like this blog, why don't you vote for it at Tales of an Unlikely Mother on Babble.com? We're number 15, just scroll down and click on the thumbs up! It's quick and easy to do!
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