Children break things

In 2008, my husband and I bought a vase.

We had just moved into our first legitimate home together. Everything was brand new to us. The place seemed huge. It was just the two of us. We were waiting for our kids to arrive.

Actually, I bought a vase.

I'm not great at home decor, and by that I mean I suck at it. I do not have refined tastes, and I don't know the difference between an original indy artist's painting and a print bought at a thrift store. But I was trying.

So, I bought this huge shiny brownish vase. From Marshall's. For $20.

And I loved it.

Soon after its arrival on our fireplace, my husband looked at it and said, 'why is there an empty vase here?'

And I was like, um, 'IT'S DECORATION, DUH."

"No, no. You can't have a vase without something in it."

"Um, yes you can. I'm pretty sure Pottery Barn does this shit all the time." (I'm paraphrasing, here. Eight years ago, I wouldn't have said this. I would have meekly smiled and nodded. But I'd say it TODAY, and so let's just pretend that's what I said. Because I definitely thought it.)

But an empty vase would not suffice. A few days later, my husband came home with some forest-green fake leaves. I don't even know where they were from, but they smelled like the inside of JoAnn's or Michaels or The Christmas Tree Shop.

Whatever, we are high class, okay?

We stuck the leaves in the vase, and voila. Before we'd even hung our (by which I mean my husband's) paintings on the wall, we had an accent piece to die for.

It went supremely well with my pregnant belly and my impeccably clean, before-kids carpeting.

That vase stuck with us throughout the years. It saw the layoff, the move to Florida, a condo and then our rented house (because lol if we're going to buy again after the housing collapse that we felt the brunt of).

It saw my kids as infants, toddlers, little kids, and finally, the big kids they are today. It's been a steady friend and companion. One of the first things my husband and I ever bought together (the couches you see in the picture being the first. ... Do you see that white couch? WHAT FOOLS WE WERE.)

Three moves, three jobs, and a family later, that vase stood tall, guarding the fireplaces of our abodes.

Until the other day.

I don't know how many times I've said/shouted/screamed 'no running in the house', but I'm pretty sure the dog doesn't want to eat glass. Anyway, I may as well have said it 0 times because apparently running in the house is still and will forever be a thing here.

And when you catch them in the act, they do that awkward quick conversion to super-fast walking. loooool, okay, kids, you fooled me.

The girls, to their credit, were distraught about breaking this vase. I didn't even yell at them. It turns out, they feel way worse about doing something by accident than when they are purposefully being turds. They feel the way I want them to feel when I've chastised them for being rude or mean. Only they just accidentally broke something. Life isn't fair, y'all.

I shooed them outside and set to work cleaning this mammoth mess. (I got the dog new food and washed his bowl. Don't worry. He won't be killed TODAY.)

I brought the shards out to the garbage, and when I came back in, my girls had given me the gift of a new vase for my husband's hilariously colored leaves.

Perfect.

This happened two days ago, and their "vase" is still there in front of the door with the leaves in it.

Not because I'm sentimental and touched (although I am), but more because I'm the kind of mom who looks at things on the floor and wonders...how long can this stay here before something bad happens?

I'll let you know.

For now, enjoy our decor as you sip some coffee from a stained mug and marvel at our bean-bag filled, princess placemat having, high-living, jet-setting lifestyle.

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6 Tips for Sharing Child Custody Amicably -- Guest post

Parenting can be to navigate no matter if you’re doing it solo or with a partner. But with a divorce and joint custody, you’ll find a different set of obstacles to overcome. With the right mindset, some restraint and acting as a team player, you can make your joint custody and co-parenting tips a success. The following are tips for an amicable custody arrangement.

Make Your Kids a Priority

When you’re children are sick with a cold or flu, you probably do everything in your power to make them well. Divorce is especially hard on children, so you want to give them additional TLC throughout this difficult time. Although you may be feeling guilty for breaking up the family, refrain from buying their love. You can still make your kids a priority without having to break the bank. Schedule dinners together with your kids and encourage them to talk and share their feelings. Take time out of your busy day to watch their baseball game or cheerleading practice.

Enlist the Help of a Professional

Although your soon-to-be ex-spouse may say they’re agreeable to an amicable divorce, the process can still be complicated and messy. A skilled attorney will be able to navigate the murky waters of divorce swiftly and with an expert eye. They’ll also be able to provide guidance on custody and alimony issues pertaining to your particular state.

Keep Your Negative Thoughts to Yourself

Just because you and your ex failed at marriage doesn’t make them a poor parent. If you’ve agreed to share custody, it’s time to put your differences aside. This means biting your tongue and keeping your negative thoughts about your ex to yourself. You don’t want your kids to feel like they have to choose one parent over the other. Discussions should be kept between both parties and not asking your children to be responsible for delivering messages. Your kids should be able to have a healthy and loving relationship with both parents without feeling guilty. If you need to voice your concerns, ask a friend, parent, loved one or therapist to lend an ear.

Communicate

No matter what the reasons behind your divorce, you may want to look at the relationship afterward as a business dealing. The lines of communication should be kept open in order to successful raise your kids. If you haven’t graduated to face-to-face communication yet, emails or text messages can work just fine. You could also keep in touch via telephone. Instead of arguing, try to keep the focus on your children and what’s best for them.

Set a Schedule

An attorney can help you hash out a shared schedule for your custody situation if you’re having difficulties. But once you’ve chosen a particular schedule, you need to stick with it. Keeping things consistent is important for both child and adult. An online calendar can allow you to share important information, dates and times to ensure that you both stay on task. If you have something come up, you can contact your ex-partner to see if they can adjust the original schedule.

Be a Team Player

Working through your issues can be difficult with an ex-spouse, especially if the divorce is bitter. But when it comes to the bigger issues such as discipline, studies, medical care and schooling, you need to be team players. The rules and consequences for breaking them should be the same in either home. You should also enforce the punishments if a child breaks the rules. Although you may not agree about everything, pick your battles and compromises in situations where it may be necessary.