Children break things

In 2008, my husband and I bought a vase.

We had just moved into our first legitimate home together. Everything was brand new to us. The place seemed huge. It was just the two of us. We were waiting for our kids to arrive.

Actually, I bought a vase.

I'm not great at home decor, and by that I mean I suck at it. I do not have refined tastes, and I don't know the difference between an original indy artist's painting and a print bought at a thrift store. But I was trying.

So, I bought this huge shiny brownish vase. From Marshall's. For $20.

And I loved it.

Soon after its arrival on our fireplace, my husband looked at it and said, 'why is there an empty vase here?'

And I was like, um, 'IT'S DECORATION, DUH."

"No, no. You can't have a vase without something in it."

"Um, yes you can. I'm pretty sure Pottery Barn does this shit all the time." (I'm paraphrasing, here. Eight years ago, I wouldn't have said this. I would have meekly smiled and nodded. But I'd say it TODAY, and so let's just pretend that's what I said. Because I definitely thought it.)

But an empty vase would not suffice. A few days later, my husband came home with some forest-green fake leaves. I don't even know where they were from, but they smelled like the inside of JoAnn's or Michaels or The Christmas Tree Shop.

Whatever, we are high class, okay?

We stuck the leaves in the vase, and voila. Before we'd even hung our (by which I mean my husband's) paintings on the wall, we had an accent piece to die for.

It went supremely well with my pregnant belly and my impeccably clean, before-kids carpeting.

That vase stuck with us throughout the years. It saw the layoff, the move to Florida, a condo and then our rented house (because lol if we're going to buy again after the housing collapse that we felt the brunt of).

It saw my kids as infants, toddlers, little kids, and finally, the big kids they are today. It's been a steady friend and companion. One of the first things my husband and I ever bought together (the couches you see in the picture being the first. ... Do you see that white couch? WHAT FOOLS WE WERE.)

Three moves, three jobs, and a family later, that vase stood tall, guarding the fireplaces of our abodes.

Until the other day.

I don't know how many times I've said/shouted/screamed 'no running in the house', but I'm pretty sure the dog doesn't want to eat glass. Anyway, I may as well have said it 0 times because apparently running in the house is still and will forever be a thing here.

And when you catch them in the act, they do that awkward quick conversion to super-fast walking. loooool, okay, kids, you fooled me.

The girls, to their credit, were distraught about breaking this vase. I didn't even yell at them. It turns out, they feel way worse about doing something by accident than when they are purposefully being turds. They feel the way I want them to feel when I've chastised them for being rude or mean. Only they just accidentally broke something. Life isn't fair, y'all.

I shooed them outside and set to work cleaning this mammoth mess. (I got the dog new food and washed his bowl. Don't worry. He won't be killed TODAY.)

I brought the shards out to the garbage, and when I came back in, my girls had given me the gift of a new vase for my husband's hilariously colored leaves.

Perfect.

This happened two days ago, and their "vase" is still there in front of the door with the leaves in it.

Not because I'm sentimental and touched (although I am), but more because I'm the kind of mom who looks at things on the floor and wonders...how long can this stay here before something bad happens?

I'll let you know.

For now, enjoy our decor as you sip some coffee from a stained mug and marvel at our bean-bag filled, princess placemat having, high-living, jet-setting lifestyle.

Kubitzi -- A clothing boutique you need to know about

A while back I was approached to try out some fabulous clothing from an up-and-coming boutique, Kubitzi.

Of course, they say on their site that they're for the 20-something set, an age group I sadly passed years ago. But thankfully, there actually is no age limit to style, and if you like it, you should wear it. I'm firmly opposed to all those "stop wearing this if you're over 30" lists. Because, no.

Still, there are certain looks I'm not about to want to pull off at this stage in my life, but Kubitzi sells everything from sexy club looks to professional women's wear.

Now, I'm not going to lie, when I got my outfit, I was certain it was not going to fit me, even a little. The sizing is European, and I am definitely of American stature, physically. At 5'9" and 150 pounds, I cannot be considered petite. So, as you browse, keep in mind that the outfit I'm about to show you is as big as their sizes currently run. So, we're looking at U.S. sizes 6-8 and below. And a size 7-8 shoe.

Everyone with me? Okay, great. So, here's what you've all been waiting for! My pictures. Remember, I am not a professional, and I don't even have a person who is not 7 years old to take photos of me, so you're getting mirror selfies, and the like. But on the plus side, if you wanted to know what clothes look like on an average person with average to poor photography skills, this will definitely not disappoint. The images I'm posting are probably the realest fashion photos you'll ever see in a promo post.

Before we get to me, here is what it looks like online:

Okay, so, that's how it looks online, and I'm confident posting my pictures below because, honestly, the online depiction was pretty spot on. I'm not as great at capturing it, but these pants DO make my butt look like that, and the jacket DOES close like that. And the body suit...well, the body suit is exactly as advertised.

So, if I were a clothing model and this were a catwalk, I feel pretty on point. But I'm not and this isn't. And this is a whole lot of suit to pull off. And boobs.

BUT BUT BUT. I can separate them, yeah? And get half the overwhelming effect which is just perfect for my freelance writing, mom needs.

My friends agreed. (I have a posse of fashion gurus who help me match on a daily basis. They were there for me today.)

This was the winner of every single combination I tried. This is what I'm wearing right now, actually, to sit in a Starbucks and type out this review. I've gotten many compliments.

Second runner up was this, although  my friends worried the button up of the black might make it too dressy and compete with the busy pants. I like it. I feel like it's a good Tuesday look.

This is a more casual take, but I still think it works.

This was the most favorite of the jacket pairings. People seem to go for the white calming effect with the patterning.

The black is the one where buttoning the jacket worked, and I must confess, I prefer the jacket buttoned. I like how it makes my torso look.

To pull this one off, I would have to be super intense, I think. Luckily, I usually am.

And Kubitzi sells more than this kind of look.

Shirts, skirts, dresses, active wear, they've got it.

Anyway, go check them out. Kubitzi. I'm satisfied, for real.

They also ship for free to the UK, Canada and the US, and they're as green as possible about it. And if you use Darlena10 as a promo code, you get 10 percent off your purchase.

Slice of Life - Glasses

This edition of Slice of Life is a special request for one young boy who's nervous about going to school in his new glasses today. We're here to tell you, glasses are AWESOME.

Andy Foley can't even wait to take the tags off.

A mother-daughter team with Barbie and Nikki Contreras!

Cade Russell got his first pair at four. Next up? Hot pink ones.

Corina Maria has many glasses wearers in her family! This is one of her sons.

You know these two are our favorites! Emilie and Eli Blanton.

Jess Palmer and her daughter rock a pair a piece!

Joan Good's family owns stock in glasses. Here's one of her sons. Stay tuned for more!

Josh Van Vranken "volunteered!"

Lisa Cuellar, looking cute as always!

They even wear glasses in Canada! Melissa Elfers.

Patricia Frederickson rocks them.

From child to adult, Sara Ess has been wearing them (and making them work with every fashion. Stay tuned.)

Shellie Guidetti, lounging at home.

Stacie Jankowski, for the win!

Alison and Aislyn Gayton, mom and daughter!

Another child to adult comparison, Anne Theriault, rocking them through the ages.

Brooklynn Williams because cutest.

Cade's mommy, Cheryl Russell.

Danielle Adams and her beautiful child and delicious-looking food.

Jennifer "made for glasses" Alter

Joan Good and her daughter Audrey. Ie: Happiness in glasses.

Jolene Avery-Bauchman. Stunning.

Lil Miss. She's actually killed me with cute, tbh.

Melanie and Libby Greeke. Owning it like the bosses they are.

Oak Andrews for the studious look.

These next two? Sara Ess again. Because glasses. At all times and with all looks. Amaze.

Sarah Yarnes loves her glasses!

Stacey Murkette's daughter. I could seriously look at this photo all day. Wow, adorbs.

Xander Belanger-Taylor looks downright sassy and chic.

Alison Beaton. Thumbs up.

Brenna Davies and her daughter, looking fierce and happy.

Carlos Soria cheers on the Gators in his frames.

Courtney Knight loved glasses so hard, she faked eye trouble as a kid to get hers early. (But then she actually needed them anyway).

Glasses make for better side-eyes. Which is something you'll need in life...a lot. Ask Hazel Hasselhoff.

Bam. Phillip and Jill Copeland. Twins of striking glory.

The rest of Joan Good's family in various states of HAPPY.

Kristen Duvall's sweetness shines through.

MaryAnne Luther. Because sometimes glasses simply complete a look.

Monika Costa, looking cute as ever.

Samantha Williams. Whether wearing babies or not, she's wearing glasses.

Sara Ess, guys. I'm saying, glasses with EVERY look.

Sarah Tormey and her baby boy.

Skylla Kat. Damn, what an amazing photo, though.

Tiffany Yusup, chillaxing.

We saw Aislyn already, but her sister Lyra wanted in on the action!

Ani's daughter doesn't need glasses, but wears play ones to be like mom.

Bree Casson, since the 4th grade.

My husband. Of course. **bows**

Corina Marie's daughter also doesn't need glasses! She wears vanity ones because she loves the look so much!

Emily Santanella, rocking the prof look.

Jessica Wanat. Angelic.

Katy Pika. Fierce.

Lucy Santanella. Adorable.

Missy Sturtevant loves glasses!

The perfect accent for purple hair! Sarah Evans.

Skylla Kat's boyfriend. Couples in glasses!

Teresa Williams and her lovely sister!

Jackie Monck's got six pairs!

Here she is sporting her librarian pair. Fun fact: her mom had almost the exact same pair when she was Jackie's age!

So, you see? Cool people of all ages and styles rock the glasses. And so. do. you. Good luck, little bro! We love you!