Who Are These One Million Moms?

I know it's a banner day when I find myself on the same side as Bill O'Reilly.

Have you heard of One Million Moms? They hate gay people, apparently.

Now, as I sit here and have a discussion with my daughter about how her eyes are brown and mine are blue because we're different people, nowhere does my mind think, 'hey, I'm a mom, I must hate gay people.'

But what it does think is that 'we're different people' really extends to all arguments and generalizations throughout all of life. Your motto does not concern me. Your hatred has nothing to do with me. So why are you trying to include me? I am not one of the million (more like 41,000 according to Facebook.)

Contrary to popular belief, you do not become an asshole as a result of birthing another person. You've probably already got that part of your personality down before you start the whole parenting bit.


By saying this:


"Mom, are you fed up with the filth many segments of our society, especially the entertainment media, are throwing at our children? Are you tired of all the negative influences our children are forced to contend with? If so, we urge you to become a member..." 


Are you trying to appeal to my urge to protect my children? Because if I were tired of all the 'negative influences' the entertainment media is throwing at my children, I wouldn't join a group. I'd shut my television set off.

But let's get to the meat of the problem. Currently, One Million Moms is launching an attack against JC Penney and Ellen DeGeneres. They don't like that Penney's has chosen a gay talk show host to represent them.

The horror!


They say on their site that it's "Funny that JC Penney thinks hiring an open homosexual spokesperson will help their business when most of its customers are traditional families."


Interestingly, I haven't shopped at JC Penney's in years. But I'll sure be shopping there now. And I'll bring my traditional family with me.


"DeGeneres is not a true representation of the type of families who shop at the retailer. The small percentage of customers they are attempting to satisfy will not offset their loss in sales by offending the majority."


Only not at all. The only thing offensive to me at this moment is this abject and groundless attack on someone simply because her sexuality differs from yours. Right now it's looking like Ellen would make one million times a better parent than the 'one million' members of this group.

This is her reply to the campaign:



She says, "I stand for honesty, equality, kindness, compassion, treating people the way you want to be treated, and helping those in need. To me those are traditional values..."

Those are values I can get behind, unlike the confused garbage coming from this group.


"OneMillionMoms.com is the most powerful tool you have to stand against the immorality, violence, vulgarity and profanity the entertainment media is throwing at your children."


How do any of those things have to do with being gay? Just wondering.

Oh, and O'Reilly, let's get to O'Reilly, because this is my favorite part.

Dear Christian moms, (not all Christian moms, mind you, even though the group would lead you to believe that...let's rephrase.)

Dear One Million Moms, (well, not a million...let's try again),

Dear members of this oddly named group,

Bill O'Reilly thinks that "this JC Penney thing is a witch hunt, and it shouldn't happen."

He says,

“I don’t have any problem with any of the Million Moms not shopping at J.C. Penney. You don’t want to shop there because you don’t believe the message that they’re sending by hiring Ellen is a good message, more power to you. That is your decision and your right as an American. But to come out and demand the woman be fired, that’s wrong.”

When I have to high-five Bill O'Reilly, things have really gotten out of hand.

If you have "traditional values" that somehow correlate to you not being able to shop at a store that employs a gay spokesperson, by all means, don't shop there. But she shouldn't be fired just because you're an intolerant person.

Moms, if you are looking for a group to join, if you want to be part of a Million Moms, how about this group?

One Million Moms Against Ignorance and Intolerance

Although I already see some ignorance and intolerance on the page, it's at least a better start.

__

If you like this blog, please vote for it here at Babble's Top 100 Blogs list.  

Why is Delilah Still on the Air?

No, seriously. All I want for Christmas is for Delilah to retire. For too many years now she's been sullying my Christmas spirit and ruining my nights just about every day of the week any time of year (best of the week on Sundays? Really?)

I mean, can any of us remember a time when she wasn't droning on about "religion," (hers), "love" (hers), "family" and "family values" (hers), talking up a storm and thinking she was more important than the insipid pop hit from seven years ago she was about to play?

For a woman with her history (which I won't go into. Unlike Delilah, I have boundaries of personal space and a working what-is-appropriate meter), she sure preaches a lot, doesn't she? You'd think she was the Baby Jesus himself, sent down to save all these lost callers from their bad relationships with her ill-fitting advice and contradictory moral code.

And even on the rare occasion that she is right (or even remotely close to right) I still cannot stomach her tone. Starting with what she considers her 'dulcet radio voice' meant to calm and engage listeners (does anyone sound like that? Really? Her speaking voice's overdone quality is comparable to Celine Dion's singing voice. Both, I'm sure are lovely when normal. When infused with this showmanship? They're grating to the ear. At least for me.)

But it goes so much deeper than that. She prattles on at people incessantly. When her poor callers get on air, she'll put a conspiratorial lilt in her her voice, like, "it's just you and me, talking like close girl friends here."

First of all, no it's not. You and her and a million other listeners who have the misfortune of not switching over to satellite radio yet.

And more importantly, you're not that caller's buddy. Stop taking liberties and acting like you've known them for years and if you could only glean that last bit of confession from them, you'll have the answer they're seeking. You never do. And most of the time, the pieces they've left out of the story are extremely personal and they chose to leave them out for a reason. You put them on the spot and all they wanted you to do was to play them a damn song so they could cry a little.

I mean, yes, they open themselves up to that by calling in the first place, but must you be so fake about it? I'm hard-pressed to think of another host of a call-in show who is more embarrassing than his or her callers. But, Delilah, I blush for you all the time. I cringe because the less astute callers will open up, but I can hear the reluctance in their voices, and I know I'm listening to something I shouldn't be privy to. And then, instead of letting them unburden themselves in peace, you stroll all over their pain, normally in combat boots. What is your problem?

Either it's the fakey-fake soothing mother voice where you coddle them, turning them into infants, or it's the "tough love" bootstraps voice, commanding them to make a change. As if you know something. As if you know anything about that person's real story or have any real-world experience to back you up. I just can't stand it.

I'm just letting you know, Delilah, that I'm only here for the Christmas Carols. And since I don't have satellite radio or an MP3 player, well, I guess I'm just going to invest in some CDs for the season. I'd rather hear the same eight songs over and over than have to wade through your sordid advice with the promise of catching an old gem of a song I'd forgotten about...only to have it be I'll Be Home for Christmas, again.

I know it's the holidays and I should be a little more forgiving. I'm sure she has done a lot of good for people. I'm sure she's an excellent human being. I'm just sick of hearing about it...from her.