Target Targets Pregnant Women

You're pregnant! How do you break the news? Some women buy baby balloons. If there's a child already, they can put him or her in a big brother / big sister shirt. Some women actually bake buns and put them in the oven for their partner to find (I saw this somewhere. I never would have thought of it myself.)

I decided on "crying, sit down when I tell you this, oh my God, what are we going to do" approach, but I realize not everyone can be that romantic.

Or, you know, Target could accidentally spill the beans before you get around to telling anyone.

For the link-shy, basically, Target connects all purchases you make to your name and uses the information to determine what is going on in your life. They then send you coupons for things you might need based on your recent and overall purchases.

One of their biggest gains using this technique is the "baby on board" campaign, where they send pregnant women coupons for baby stuff. They've gone full-throttle, and as a reward, gained much of the baby market.

On the one hand, it's brilliant. I love their ingenuity. On the other hand, it's creepy. Really creepy.

Hospitals and doctors are required to keep medical confidentiality, patients sign HIPAA consent forms and have strict limits on who can access their files, and pregnancy is one of those medical issues that spans over the guardian - child relationship so that the child, if under 18, has the right not to inform her parents.

But Target can.

In the case referenced by the story, an irate father stormed to Target customer service with the coupon packet in hand, demanding to know why Target was sending his underage daughter baby discounts. He later returned and apologized. His daughter was pregnant. Target knew, but he didn't.

And I'm not the only one side-eyeing them. Target's marketing committee found that when the store sent out pamphlets containing nothing but coupons for items they actually need, people didn't use the coupons. They were too freaked out.

So, Target began interspersing the useful coupons with random coupons and ads for things that the customers wouldn't need. A lawnmower next to the baby bag, making it appear like a random assortment of coupons that everyone on the block received.

Bingo.

They started using the coupons again.

So now, Target knows everything about you, and is pretending that it doesn't. ...stalker.

Apparently, it realized this practice, while ridiculously successful, is also a little off, because the reporter doing the story got one great interview with them, and then they shut off communication entirely, even prohibiting him from going to headquarters.

Of all the flags raised by this story, that right there, for me, is the biggest one. Whatchoo doing, Target?

Anyway, I'm not saying don't shop there. I know I like their products. I'm just thinking maybe I'll use cash next time.

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Seems Legit

I just came off my third telemarketing phone call today. No, I do not want to further my college education at this point. No, I don't need my kitchen redone. No, I'm not interested in Netflix. We've got one.

I don't remember signing up for any of this, but that's the line each caller uses. "We're calling because we received your request for our services."

Oh really?

And I feel bad because it's not their fault. They're just doing their job, and I'm the jerk who gave them my information.

So, today, I've been really nice to them. "Oh, actually, I'm not interested in that at all. You see, what happened was I thought I was going to get a $500 gift card from Victoria's Secret, but that turned out to be a hoax, just to pair me up with you. Sorry to waste your time."

So, yeah, I didn't sign up for any of these services. I clicked no or skip on each sponsor page. Doesn't matter. I gave them my cell phone number. And what kind of 29-year-old woman looks at a Facebook offer like, 'oh, hey, that looks legit?'

You have 90 seconds to like us and sign in and we'll give you a $500 gift card! No, really!

I can only explain it by saying that sometimes we don't do something for so long that we forget why we don't do it. I know better. I've known better since I turned 13 or so. But I forgot. Suddenly, I found myself thinking, well, heck, maybe I never get any of these giveaways because I never sign up for any of them. Why don't I sign up? I should sign up. I'm holding myself back.

Oh, right. No. Don't be like me.

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Things Should Cost What They Cost

I can't coupon. I'm too stupid to coupon. It's true. Any time I try to save myself some money - be it by using discount codes or signing up for junk mail to get a special deal - I mess it up, end up paying at least full price, and wasting hours of my time. Then I get the glorious after-effects, which usually involve five emails a day trying to entice me to buy more crap I don't need for prices I won't get.

I even managed to mess up Groupon. Somehow I signed up for Orlando Groupon. I don't live in Orlando. Not to mention, I never even bought anything through them, meaning I'm getting their deals (ie. junk mail) in my box three or four times a day and I never even saved 90 percent on anything ever.

I tried to get reward points through Southwest when I bought tickets to Connecticut. But I didn't feel like I got enough of them for the major purchase I made (four tickets.) So I went back and ordered them all separately, thinking if I used my name on each separate purchase, I would get points for each one. Nope. You only get points on purchases made with your information for yourself. Now, had I read the instructions thoroughly, I probably would have seen something somewhere about that. But I didn't. So, now I have four different itinerary numbers, four different tickets, I had to sign off on my kids because they can't "fly alone." The whole thing took me an extra ninety minutes to coordinate.

I can't coupon.

It is most likely because of this that I feel things should cost what they cost. If something costs X amount of dollars to make with material and labor, and you need to make Y percentage of profit to keep your business afloat, then the combination of X and Y should be what that item costs the consumer.

I don't want to play games with you. I don't want to clip little slips of paper, scour the internet for codes, go through manufacturer deals, store deals and outside party deals to pay for your item. To pay what your item should have cost in the first place.

And you're right. Sometimes you'll give out Coke for 3 cents a bottle, or mustard for a nickel and those products do cost more to make. But I don't care about that. In fact, I would ask that you just not do that because the reason you are able to pull stunts like that is because you've been overcharging me for other products for years and you have enough padding to gimmick it up. Just charge me what it cost you to create the product plus what you need for profit margin and I will buy what I need, okay?

This is in no way bashing those who can and do use coupons regularly. It's not against the extreme couponers who get a million items and the store pays them. That's great. This is the way the world is, and you have cashed in.

But for those of us (and maybe it's just me) too impatient and too stupid to figure out the savings schemes, sign up for the right deals, and win the right contests, can things just cost what they cost?

I really feel that things should cost what they cost.


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