tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2621701638860930715.post231641675711983146..comments2024-03-28T16:03:56.398-04:00Comments on parentwin: Women, Stop Oppressing Yourselves!parentwinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10056331784261915713noreply@blogger.comBlogger2125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2621701638860930715.post-67338370237668882612012-06-22T14:48:29.024-04:002012-06-22T14:48:29.024-04:00I actually think Wurtzel had a germ of a point und...I actually think Wurtzel had a germ of a point under there. Wealthy, educated, well-connected women who have their children with nannies all the time so that she can go get pedicures and shop? I don't know how many of these women actually exist - I have no access to that cohort, there may be 10 of them in the whole world for all I know - but part of her essay addresses them, and I think it's fair to say on the macro level, they are bad for feminism. These are exactly the kind of women who could be taking on leadership roles and changing the culture at the top within organizations, but instead they're content to indulge themselves. There is something inherently childish in that. If that means I'm judging their choices, I'm okay with that. I think we (women, as a group) shut down conversations far too easily because we're scared of being perceived as judgmental. <br /><br />Of course, I don't think it should be illegal for a woman to make a choice I don't agree with (which is why I don't think the comparison to abortion really holds up - nobody is seriously proposing compulsory work for women, while abortion rights seem to be eroding by the hour), nor do I mean it as a personal comment on the state of her soul. A bad choice, even a childish choice, does not make a bad person. I can also acknowledge that other people don't have the same goals that I do. Something being "bad for feminism" might not matter to another woman, and that's okay. It's not an accusation, you know? A lot of people seem to have read this article and interpreted it as, "you are personally bad for feminism," and I don't think that's true at all. But that's where I think I differ from Wurtzel, obviously. She's willing to tear apart someone who makes a choice she wouldn't make. For her, "bad for feminism" is also "bad," in all senses, all the way down. People are reasonable to read what she has said as a personal attack.<br /><br />And, she also utterly demolishes her credibility with ridiculous sweeping claims like "women who can't pay their rent are dependents." This is someone who has apparently had to turn down marriage proposals (plural!) from the 1%, so maybe we can't expect her to have contact with normal human beings. But, I work a full-time job that requires a college degree, and I could not pay the rent on my own if my husband left tomorrow. Our current rent is more than I take home, and believe me, there is nothing luxurious about this place. I'd have to downsize to a studio apartment to make it on my own, and even then money would still be very tight. If I was alone with the kids? I literally do not know how I would survive unless my husband was paying a good chunk of child support. Wurtzel clearly has no idea what housing prices are like relative to incomes. Granted, I live in a high-cost area, but this is where the jobs are. I'm sure I could live unemployed in Detroit for pretty cheaply.<br /><br />And, as you mention, the cost of daycare for two kids often exceeds an average salary. It is a logical short-term solution for a woman to stay home, given this. It's not shirking adulthood, it's not dependence, it's simple economics, and I don't think I'm being hyperbolic for saying this - lack of affordable childcare is not just bad for feminism, it is a goddamn crisis for anyone who cares about women. We do not actually have choices if we can't afford daycare! But if everyone Wurtzel knows is rolling in money, I guess she can make sweeping statements about SAHMs without realizing she sounds like a total idiot.stacynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2621701638860930715.post-29046811958964892462012-06-22T11:37:17.778-04:002012-06-22T11:37:17.778-04:00"But let's face it: [Being a mother] is n..."But let's face it: [Being a mother] is not a selective position."<br /><br />I saw this addressed really well in a piece of fiction I read awhile ago. Character A asked a woman how she could have walked away from her child all those years ago and the woman replied, "I thought that anybody could be a mother, but I was the only one who could do the work in my field. By the time I realized I had confused the two, it was too late."<br /><br />As for everything else, Wurtzel strikes me as childish. She picks pieces of things that fit her belief system and throws those out without really thinking about the bigger picture.A.http://www.usagi.canoreply@blogger.com