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Friday, December 28, 2018

4 Tips for a Less Stressful Divorce - s post

For most of us a divorce either begins with the slow realization that you no longer wish to be with your spouse – or a divorce can be an unforeseen, devastating bombshell that blows your emotions to hell and back.

But whether you are the divorcer or the divorcee, eventually you are going to have to face some disturbing facts and emotions about the bond that you thought was going to last forever.  But shame should not be one of them.

There were over 876,000 divorces in this country last year.  That’s one divorce every 36 seconds, 2,400 divorces every single day.  If this was your first marriage, you are part of the 41% of couples whose marriages failed.  If it’s a second marriage, the failure rate is 60%.  And for third marriages, it’s a whopping 73%.  If it’s your fourth marriage – it’s off the charts.

So divorce is not uncommon and you should not dwell too deeply on the whys and wherefores of your marriage’s collapse.  The sooner that you eschew denial and come to terms with the fact that it’s over; the sooner you can start putting your life, and the lives of your children if you have them, back on track.

Here are some tips to be mindful of once the angst subsides and you decide to get down to business.

Tip #1: Decide What You Want


Put the anger and emotions aside and think: what do I want out of this mess?  What are the pieces of my previous relationship that are really important to me?  Of course there are the assets, your home, the bank accounts, the investment portfolios, etc.  But most state laws mandate that those things are going to end up being math issues, generally in the 50-percentile range.

However, there may be less obvious keepsakes that you feel strongly about, and the main thing will be: keep those thoughts to yourself and your lawyer.  If your spouse and his/her lawyer discover a weakness for some marriage memento, they could use it as a wedge to get something out of you that is way more valuable.

Tip #2: Hire the Right Lawyer


If your divorce is consensual, maybe you won’t even need an attorney to individually represent you.  You and your spouse may be able to get by with a mediator who will assist you in conforming to state guidelines for a simple, amicable divorce.

But if you perceive even the slightest complications from your spouse; hire a lawyer immediately.  And the best way to find the right lawyer is to get a recommendation from a friend or family member, someone you trust. 

If that’s not possible, you’re going to have to do some serious research, because this attorney is going to be your closest partner in probably the most contentious procedure you will ever experience in your entire life – over the course of a year, or more.  Make sure you get the right person for the task.

Tip #3: Dealing with Children


Child custody after divorce can be allocated in a variety of ways, many of which are mandated by state laws.  Here's how Randall Kessler, an experienced divorce attorney at the Family Law Attorneys of Kessler & Solomiany, describes custody choices, "There are two major types of custody: legal and physical. It is possible for one parent to have sole legal and joint physical custody or vice versa, or for one parent to have both sole legal and physical custody."

You are probably not going to get full legal and physical custody over your children unless your spouse is a certified, raging maniac.  So try to stay calm and work out a plan that’s not only best for the children, but also best for you and your spouse.  You may not be able to live together any longer but you will have to partner in the raising these kids.  Full cooperation between parents is the right recipe for child rearing, whether they live together or not.

Tip #4: Take Your Time


There are angry urges, especially with the divorcee, to get this relationship over and done with as quickly as possible.  You never want to see that rotten, probably-cheating, divorcee ever again.  But rushing through the details of a divorce is not advisable for a lot of reasons. 


One of the main ones is money.  If you cram this divorce through and it turns out that some stipulations are just not working out for you and your spouse, you are going to have to file an appeal to set aside your divorce judgment – and that can be very expensive.  That’s why you need to take a breath, relax and slowly work through every stipulation of your divorce until you get it just right.


5 comments:

  1. Hey everyone!
    I'm so excited. My ex-boyfriend is back after few months of breakup, I’m extremely happy that will are living together again. My boyfriend of 4yr just broke up with me and am 30 weeks pregnant. I have cried myself to sleep most of the nights and don’t seem to concentrate during lectures sometimes I stay awake almost all night thinking about him and start to cry all over again. Because of this I end up not having energy for my next day’s classes, my attendance has dropped and am always in uni and on time. Generally he is a very nice guy, he ended it because he said we were arguing a lot and not getting along. He is right we’ve been arguing during the pregnancy a lot .After the break up I kept ringing him and telling him I will change. I am in love with this guy and he is the best guy I have ever been with. I’m still hurt and in disbelief when he said he didn’t have any romantic feelings towards me anymore that hurt me faster than a lethal syringe. He texts me now and then mainly to check up on how am doing with the pregnancy, he is supportive with it but it’s not fair on me, him texting me as I just want to grieve the pain and not have any stress due to the pregnancy.
    I was really upset and I needed help, so I searched for help online and I came across a website that suggested that Dr Ahmed can help solve marital problems, restore broken relationships and so on. So, I felt I should give him a try. I contacted him and he told me what to do and I did it then he did a spell for me. 17 hours later, my bf came to me and apologized for the wrongs he did and promise never to do it again. Ever since then, everything has returned back to normal. I and my bf are living together happily again...
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    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi everyone am AMBER ERIN, I do hope my post gets read and hopefully helps somebody along the line.i will never forget the help the wonderful spell caster Dr Larry render to me in my marital life. i have been married for 4 years now and my husband and i love each other very dearly . after 4 years of our marriage my husband suddenly change he was having an affair with a lady outside, i notice it then i was praying for divine intervention but nothing happen. my husband just came home one day he pick up his things and left me and the kids to his mistress house.. At this time i was confuse not knowing what to do. i was so depressed and had to tell a friend who told me how a spiritualist helped her out with her marital problems so i contacted him and i told him my problem and after he made some consultations he told me what went wrong with my husband and how it happened, that he will restore my marriage but i never believe him. To my greatest surprise 3 days after he has cast the spell my husband came to my office begging me on his knees that i should find a place in my heart to forgive him that he is very sorry for everything he has done to me and the kids .... now am happy we living happily with my husband and kids...thanks to the help of the great Spiritualist Dr Larry, contact him with any problem and am sure he will help email assurancesolutionhome@gmail.com website https://assurancesolutionhome.blogspot.com http://assurancesolutionhome.website2.me/ whatsapp him on +1(424)-261-8520




      Hi everyone am AMBER ERIN, I do hope my post gets read and hopefully helps somebody along the line.i will never forget the help the wonderful spell caster Dr Larry render to me in my marital life. i have been married for 4 years now and my husband and i love each other very dearly . after 4 years of our marriage my husband suddenly change he was having an affair with a lady outside, i notice it then i was praying for divine intervention but nothing happen. my husband just came home one day he pick up his things and left me and the kids to his mistress house.. At this time i was confuse not knowing what to do. i was so depressed and had to tell a friend who told me how a spiritualist helped her out with her marital problems so i contacted him and i told him my problem and after he made some consultations he told me what went wrong with my husband and how it happened, that he will restore my marriage but i never believe him. To my greatest surprise 3 days after he has cast the spell my husband came to my office begging me on his knees that i should find a place in my heart to forgive him that he is very sorry for everything he has done to me and the kids .... now am happy we living happily with my husband and kids...thanks to the help of the great Spiritualist Dr Larry, contact him with any problem and am sure he will help email assurancesolutionhome@gmail.com website https://assurancesolutionhome.blogspot.com http://assurancesolutionhome.website2.me/ whatsapp him on +1(424)-261-8520

      Delete
  2. Divorces are probably the worst thing that can happen to a family. People choose to go on separate ways due to an abusive partner, infidelity and so on. If the abusive partner is the divorce's cause, then a specialist like the personal injury lawyer tampa florida should be contacted. There's no point in trying to save a toxic relationship, it's not healthy, especially if there are children involved!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Hi everyone am AMBER ERIN, I do hope my post gets read and hopefully helps somebody along the line.i will never forget the help the wonderful spell caster Dr Larry render to me in my marital life. i have been married for 4 years now and my husband and i love each other very dearly . after 4 years of our marriage my husband suddenly change he was having an affair with a lady outside, i notice it then i was praying for divine intervention but nothing happen. my husband just came home one day he pick up his things and left me and the kids to his mistress house.. At this time i was confuse not knowing what to do. i was so depressed and had to tell a friend who told me how a spiritualist helped her out with her marital problems so i contacted him and i told him my problem and after he made some consultations he told me what went wrong with my husband and how it happened, that he will restore my marriage but i never believe him. To my greatest surprise 3 days after he has cast the spell my husband came to my office begging me on his knees that i should find a place in my heart to forgive him that he is very sorry for everything he has done to me and the kids .... now am happy we living happily with my husband and kids...thanks to the help of the great Spiritualist Dr Larry, contact him with any problem and am sure he will help email assurancesolutionhome@gmail.com website https://assurancesolutionhome.blogspot.com http://assurancesolutionhome.website2.me/ whatsapp him on +1(424)-261-8520



    Hi everyone am AMBER ERIN, I do hope my post gets read and hopefully helps somebody along the line.i will never forget the help the wonderful spell caster Dr Larry render to me in my marital life. i have been married for 4 years now and my husband and i love each other very dearly . after 4 years of our marriage my husband suddenly change he was having an affair with a lady outside, i notice it then i was praying for divine intervention but nothing happen. my husband just came home one day he pick up his things and left me and the kids to his mistress house.. At this time i was confuse not knowing what to do. i was so depressed and had to tell a friend who told me how a spiritualist helped her out with her marital problems so i contacted him and i told him my problem and after he made some consultations he told me what went wrong with my husband and how it happened, that he will restore my marriage but i never believe him. To my greatest surprise 3 days after he has cast the spell my husband came to my office begging me on his knees that i should find a place in my heart to forgive him that he is very sorry for everything he has done to me and the kids .... now am happy we living happily with my husband and kids...thanks to the help of the great Spiritualist Dr Larry, contact him with any problem and am sure he will help email assurancesolutionhome@gmail.com website https://assurancesolutionhome.blogspot.com http://assurancesolutionhome.website2.me/ whatsapp him on +1(424)-261-8520

    ReplyDelete

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