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Thursday, September 25, 2014

10 things sexier than breastfeeding

Oh Facebook. You again.

The other day, my friend at Fine and Fair wrote a great post on feminism and breastfeeding.

She used this picture:

 
Courtesy of Fine and Fair
Facebook denied her the oh-so-sweet privilege of paying a few dollars to "boost" the post (which, if you haven't noticed, they've changed their algorithms again so that if you do not "boost" your page's post, basically five people see it. Hello, ello).

ANYWAY, to commemorate this monumental occasion, here are 10 parenting occasions sexier than breastfeeding:

10) That time your toddler slipped you the tongue when you gave her a goodnight kiss and thought it was HILARIOUS. Okay, not all that sexy, but probably more french kissing than you usually get.

parent24.com
9) These slick drawings.

Reddit

Reddit

8) Laundry.

pgeveryday.com
I mean, if you really want to get dirty.


7) Movie night.

villians.wikia.com
Don't tempt us, Yzma.


6) These pajamas

polyvore.com
Because if you are wearing them, the kids are most likely in bed, which increases chances of
actual sex by, like, 23 percent.

5) Wine

goodhousekeeping.com

Literally the sexiest thing on the planet after a long day of rearing the next generation.


4) Grocery shopping




Where you buy the wine, duh.


3) Coffee.



It's sexy even though it never looks anything like the pictures.

2) The babysitter



This means a night out. Which increases chances of actual sex by 54 percent.

1) Grandparents


Because if you're really lucky, they might take the kids for the  whole  night. Which places chances of sex squarely at 82-87 percent.

...

So, in conclusion, Facebook should ban photos of grandparents. Because nothing turns people on like the possibility of eight or more hours to themselves.

   

2 comments:

  1. Not a parent (yet, hopefully someday), but still hilarious!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Love it!! I have a 17 month old, daddy wont let anyone take her

    ReplyDelete

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